Oct 26 2009 If You Can Watch This And Not Be Freaked Out There Is Something Wrong With You
Boston Dynamics (my arch nemesis) is at it again, this time with PETMAN, a bipedal walking robot, who, despite its name, actually hates all living creatures.
Biped robot the balances dynamically using a human-like walking motion. It is a close relative to BigDog, sharing elements of the mechanical design and control.
PETMAN is an anthropomorphic robot for testing chemical protection clothing used by the US Army. Unlike previous suit testers, which had to be supported mechanically and had a limited repertoire of motion, PETMAN will balance itself and move freely; walking, crawling and doing a variety of suit-stressing calisthenics during exposure to chemical warfare agents. PETMAN will also simulate human physiology within the protective suit by controlling temperature, humidity and sweating when necessary, all to provide realistic test conditions.
Just watch and tell me that's not scary. Especially how it catches itself after being pushed at 0:25. I swear, you mount a couple machine guns on this thing, and presto, you've got yourself a real-life Terminator. Listen, Army -- you really want something to test your chemical protection suits on? I've got a whole neighborhood full of people I don't like. You think about it, I'll start marking doors.
Thanks to Tobyraider, who knows the only good walking robot is one who can't walk and isn't a robot.
Oct 19 2009 DIY: Homemade Exoskeleton Costume
Looking for a Halloween costume idea? Have lots of time and silver spraypaint? Then you can build your own exoskeleton (suck it, regular skeletons!) like Mario Caicedo Langer the creepy starer. Just don't go showing up in these parts expecting candy OR I WILL BURN YOU WITH A CAULDRON OF SCALDING BAT'S BLOOD. You're not purple nurpling me with that robot hand!
Amazing homemade exoskeleton costume puts my homemade exoskeleton to shame [dvice]
Oct 12 2009 Kill It With Fire!: A Robotic Talking Piano
This is a piano, which, through the use of the black magic and robotics, is able to speak in one of the scariest voices I've ever heard. Well, besides the one that comes attached to the figure that sneaks into my room at night and tells me to write dirty things on the internet. I think it's my uncle!
Thanks to J.D., Rodger and Alexandra, who are already planning to push this thing out a window.
Sep 17 2009 OMG!: Kids Kill Gollum By Panama Lake
A group of teens hanging out by a lake in Panama saw the elusive Gollum climbing out of his cave and did what any respectable youths would do: beat it to death with sticks.
According to reports in Panama, the teenagers spotted the creature crawling out of a cave while playing in the town of Cerro Azul north of Panama City.
Fearing for the safety as it moved towards them, the youths claim they attacked the beast with sticks before throwing its lifeless body into a pool of water.A hooked claw visible in one of the photos has been cited as evidence for the popular theory that the creature was a sloth that somehow lost its hair.
Wow you little assholes, you beat a hairless sloth to death. That's low. I mean, aren't sloths slower than turtles? You could have gotten high, had a four course picnic and taken a nap afterward and the thing would have still been like a foot from where it was before you packed the bong. That said, did you get the One Ring?! BECAUSE I MUST HAVE IT. I collect jewelry!
New 'Montauk Monster' spotted in Panama [telegraph]
Thanks to spoon platoon, Pesche and DoucheBag, who would have at least asked the poor bastard for an autograph first.
Sep 11 2009 Noooo!: Prego-Bot Gives Birth To Robo-Son
In one of the most f'ed up things I've seen in recent history, the University of Arizona Medical Center has a robotic woman that gives birth to a robotic son so that medical students can witness the horrors of robotic birth firsthand.
Named Noelle, she grunts, screams, yells at the doctors, pees, bleeds -- and yes, even gives birth (to a cute little robot baby named Hal).
Paid for with a $40,000 grant from Miami-based Guarnard Scientific, the university bought Noell, baby Hal, and another, smaller robot-baby in January. Then Noelle was taken out of commission for a while when medical students (yelp!) broke her pelvic bone.an average of 20 medical students a week diagnose all sorts of birth complications like cesareans and breach births. Noelle can even hemorrhage, all while screaming in pain and yelling things like "don't touch me" at the medical students.
Great, at this rate she's gonna have like 1,000 babies a year. WHO KEEPS KNOCKING THIS ROBOTIC BITCH UP? I'm looking at you, shifty night patrolman! DUM DUM DUM!
University of Arizona Medical Students Help Robot Give Birth to Baby Robot [phoenixnewtimes]
Thanks to Demon Spawn, who get it pregnant with like thirty little devil babies.
Jul 30 2009 Not For My Kids!: Darth Vader Robot Arm Toy
This Darth Vader robotic arm toy from Uncle Milton (creep!) costs $30 and will be broken by day's end. God, can I sell products or what? No, seriously, I can.
Build and use a real Star Wars Darth Vader robotic arm! Grip and move objects using interactive controls. Assembles easily with snap-together parts. Kids will learn how robotic arms are being used in medical science applications! Includes stand with built-in controls. Fun and informative learning guide included.
* Assembles quickly and easily with snap-together parts.* Includes stand with built-in controls.
* Gripping, turning, and extending action.
* Grabs and holds lightweight objects.
Well if that doesn't sound funner than a bunch of Sea Monkeys I don't know what does (except everything, including watching your last Sea Monkey die). No, I hereby challenge you to an arm wrestling match, Vader Arm. Ready? Set? *SLAM* Go. Haha, you have two fingers!
Thanks to Slade, who made a necklace out of robot fingers, which is pretty sick. And to naas, who's going to use this arm to choke me for the rest of the week.
Jul 22 2009 Ethicists Demand New Laws For Robots
Robot-ethicists are demanding a retuning of Asimov's laws of robotics, which they believe are too simple and do not take into account just how badly robots want to kill us all.
"If you build artificial intelligence but don't think about its moral sense or create a conscious sense that feels regret for doing something wrong, then technically it is a psychopath," says Josh Hall, a scientist who wrote the book Beyond AI: Creating the Conscience of a Machine.
Accordingly, robo-ethicists want to develop a set of guidelines that could outline how to punish a robot, decide who regulates them and even create a "legal machine language" that could help police the next generation of intelligent automated devices.
Wow, psychopathic robots -- I didn't see that coming. And by didn't see that coming I mean I'VE BEEN TRYING TO WARN YOU FOREVER. Also, you're on fire. Now stop, drop and get the hell out of my office -- I'm in the middle of a very important business call. Now, where were we, sexy? Oooooh, right -- now CAW like a Pterodactyl for me.
Robo-Ethicists Want to Revamp Asimov's 3 Laws [wired]
Thanks to roikles, Andy, danny g, Patrick and NetSerk, who think rule one of robotics should be we do not talk about robotics.
Jul 17 2009 I Smell A Wedgie Coming: Resident Evil Shirts
This Resident Evil shirt was made to promote the upcoming Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles and will be distributed at the upcoming San Diego Comic Con next weekend.
Well, since Darkside Chronicles is an M-Rated title, we have to have an area where only 17+ are allowed. We figured if we had to be enclosed; we might as well deck out the room and give you an awesome experience playing the game. We are going to have two separate rooms to show off the game, both dark and air conditioned, and each come equipped with banging sound systems.
All you have to do is bring a friend, play through one of the levels in co-op mode, and then you and your partner get to walk away with your very own zombie shirt. Simple.
Neat. Just be careful rocking zombie mode in public, because I, for one, won't hesitate to brain you with a shovel. Brain first, kick corpses later. AND NO COPPING FEELS. This is the word of the Geekologie Writer.
Capcom Comic Con 09: Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles [capcom]
Thanks to Jonah, towhee and meeotch, who are all elite zombie hunters sent back from the future to....oh my God you're robots.
Jul 16 2009 Run Snoopy, Run!: Nightmarish Charlie Brown
This is a painting of Charlie Brown by artist Tim O'Brien. Scary, no? I'm sorry if you're not gonna be able to sleep tonight, but I live by the mantra "if I had to see, so do you". Sweet dreams!
Also, for the hundreds of people who keep sending the "dead body eating robot" tip, I posted it earlier this week. I get depressed as hell when I get the same tip I posted a few days ago. *sniff* Don't you read regularly? YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!
Tim O'Brien's Painting of Charlie Brown [agentmlovestacos]
Thanks to FDSY, who you can blame for not being able to sleep at night. And not just because he's hiding under your bed, but he is.
Jun 22 2009 Robot Train Goes Rogue, Kills Track Inspector
An unmanned computerized train car in Miami allegedly ran over an employee while he was inspecting the tracks of the Metromover rail system. Uh-oh.
The accident happened Saturday. The computerized vehicle, which is not driven by a conductor, was stopped, but moved forward for an unknown reason.
Unknown reason, huh? How about THAT ROBOT TRAIN IS A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER?! *ringing bell* The apocalypse, it's here! Quick -- to the bunker! Bring snakes! SNACKS, I MEANT SNACKS GO GO GO GO
Florida Man Killed By Computerized Vehicle While Inspecting Tracks [foxnews]
Thanks to Matt, holliebean, D.M., Jeff, Nathaniel, renegade and Joel, who I WASN'T KIDDING RUN RUN RUN!
Jun 20 2009 ALMOST Cute: LIttle Robot Making Coffee
This is a video of some guy's robot girlfriend that's been programmed to make him coffee. You know, JUST LIKE A GOOD GIRLFRIEND SHOULD. Am I right, honey? Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be sleeping in the car. BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT HAS AM/FM RADIO.
Thanks to shogunu, who programmed his girlfriend to make toast too. Nice, shogunu -- with jam?
May 11 2009 Another Montauk Monster Washes Ashore
Remember the Montauk Monster? It's back. Well, another one at least. Escaped from the same top secret government facility as the first, this monster washed up on Southhold, Long Island, just across the bay from Montauk. AND THERE'S VIDEO. AND IT'S GROSS. BUT I'D STILL EAT IT. BECAUSE I'M HUNGRY.
Hit the jump for some guy poking the thing, holding hands with it, and singing Kumbaya and shit.
May 9 2009 Kill It!: How A Roomba Cleans A Room
This is the path a Roomba took to clean a room. As you can see, it's pretty haphazard. But what did you expect -- it's just a stupid robot. Honestly, I'm surprised the little deviant didn't spend the whole time pleasuring itself in the corner by repeatedly running over a power cord.
The shot was taken by shutting off all the lights in the room for 30 minutes and taking a long exposure of the path the Roomba took while cleaning up.
While I despise all things robotic, I've got to admit -- whoever took the pic must have balls of triple platinum. Leaving a robot alone in a dark room for a half hour? That's crazy talk.
Long-Exposure Shot of a Roomba's Path Shows Beautifully Organized Chaos [gizmodo]
