Jul 30 2008 The Vortex: Not Your Grandmother's Fountain

The Votex Fountain doesn't shoot water out of a lion's mouth or pour from a bare-breasted woman's water jug, but it is expensive and comes with a lifetime tackiness guarantee. Basically, it's a giant acrylic cylinder with a pump that created a vortex in the center. Because I'm made of money, I bought one and had it installed in the front yard so all the neighbors will know who rules this street. Yep, I'm officially the richest person in the neighborhood and the only one with a....*gazes through window at fountain*....neighbor's brat shitting in their Vortex. That's it, the little bastard's going in.

Video added after the jump, thanks Icon.

Continue Reading " The Vortex: Not Your Grandmother's Fountain "

Jul 9 2008 Okay: Showbiz Pizza Rock-afire Explosion Band Programmed To Play Other Songs

Remember Showbiz Pizza? It was like Chuck E. Cheese's, but with some southern flair. It was the total awesome when I was six. They had a playground with slides, a ball pit, all kinds of video games, pizza, and an animatronic band called the Rock-afire Explosion. You'd settle down to eat some greasy-ass pizza and watch the show while your dad chugged pitchers of beer and stole your game tokens. Well now two of the original programmers of the show are programming the long-defunct band to play new songs. This video is of "Love in this club" by Usher, but there are two by Madonna and Shakira after the jump. You definitely didn't see these songs performed at Showbiz as a kid! You did, however, probably see a turd in the ballpit.*

*And it was mine! That pizza always ran right through me.

Hit the jump for the others.

Continue Reading " Okay: Showbiz Pizza Rock-afire Explosion Band Programmed To Play Other Songs "

Aug 15 2007 Waterproof iPod Case

Tired of shark fighting with no tunes? The iS2 brings the dream to life, allowing users to dive to unheard of depths (almost to the bottom of the deep end, 10 ft.) while your iPod shuffle remains safe and dry. The thing doesn't come with waterproof earphones though, so you're on your own with that one. I still need one though. After all, nothing says "I am a lover of music" more than listening to the classics while getting laid in your kiddy pool as neighbors drive by honking.

Waterproof iPod Case [OhGizmo]