Nov 10 2009 Close Calls: Killer Robot Plane Goes Rogue, Is Shot Down Before It Can Turn On Its Master
An autonomous killer Reaper jet recently went rogue in Northern Afghanistan and had to be shot down before it got the chance to go berserk and blast the shit out of the blue team. Eff that!
The aircraft was flying a combat mission when positive control of the MQ-9 was lost. When the aircraft remained on a course that would depart Afghanistan's airspace, a US Air Force manned aircraft took proactive measures to down the Reaper in a remote area of northern Afghanistan.
It wasn't clear from the US military announcement whether the erratic death-bot had turned on its masters and was planning an attack on critical US logistics bases located north of the Afghan border, or whether it had sickened of reaping hapless fleshies like corn and was hoping merely to escape. Alternatively the machine assassin may merely have succumbed to boredom or - just possibly - a mundane, non-anthropomorphic technical fault of some kind.
Okay, I don't know exactly how this fits into my government/robot conspiracy, but I assure you it does. Importantly. Like the last piece in a very critical puzzle. Provided my dog didn't eat any pieces. Because then I'll have to cut a similar shape out of construction paper and color it with markers. AND IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. My parents will tell me you can barely tell the difference BUT YOU CAN TELL. You can tell.
Robot Fighter Jet Killed Before It Could Go AWOL [io9]
Thanks to AdmiralN00b, Shawn, Beanbones, Paul, Timothy, Anonymous, Sambob, That Guy and Jason, who are all welcome to stay in my anti-robot shelter, provided they shower. And spoon.
Oct 1 2009 Not Dangerous Enough: Jet Powered Carousel
Whenever I think "jet-powered" I think of rocketpacks and blasting off to the moon with a bubble helmet on and then playing hide-and-seek amongst the craters. Secondly, I think of danger and how much fun it is almost dying but then escaping death at the last second and flipping the grim reaper the bird right when he's reaching for you with his scythe. Yeah, I do that all the time. But one thing I don't do all the time (or ever for that matter) is ride a rocket-powered merry-go-round. It just looks too tame. Admittedly, the carousel's shoddy construction did look promising in the beginning, but in the end it's just two guys who might have well taped bottle rockets to their backs. I WANTED TO SEE ONE OF THOSE BITCHES LAUNCHED INTO ORBIT! Or at least a tree. Hurt video needs more hurt.
Skip to 1:30 for the action. And I did like the flames.
Madmen cling to jet-powered merry-go-round [theregister]
Thanks to srvr, who hates vowels.
Sep 4 2009 Balls Of Steel: F-18 Hornet Buzzes Man's Head
This is a video of an F-18 Hornet buzzing some guy's head so close you can taste the jet fuel. Now I'm not saying this thing would kill you if it hit you, but it would certainly mess your hair up. Also, not to brag or nothin', but one time I let a jet land ON MY FACE. Now who's the man?!
F-18 Hornet Ultra Low High Speed Fly By [todaysbigthing]
Thanks to Matt, who once flew a prop-plane through a barn and accidentally hit a chicken.
Jul 28 2009 Russian Pilot Ejecting From Plane At Mach 2
Growing up, my dad would only slow to 25MPH to drop me off at school, so I'm no stranger to bailing out of moving vehicles. Just not at Mach 2. That's crazy talk. Now don't get me wrong, I would still do it. BUT ONLY BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A DANG.
Movie producers paid two Sukhoi Su-35 pilots to fly without a canopy at Mach 2.0, and have one of them eject in what probably is one of the most dangerous stunts ever filmed.
Two words, Russian movie producers: special effects. Just throwing that out there.
Hit the jump for a shot of the remaining pilot flying with no canopy.
Continue Reading " Russian Pilot Ejecting From Plane At Mach 2 "
Jul 10 2009 Time Lapse Video Of Super Hornet Jet Build
This is a time lapse video of a F/A-18 Super Hornet jet being built. And let me just say, wow, that thing must have over 100 different pieces. Making it nearly twice as complicated as the hardest LEGO set I've built.
Constructing A Super Hornet: "A time lapse of the construction of a Super Hornet" [liveleak]
Thanks to Spy, who may or may not have secretly recorded this footage with a bowtie cam.
Jun 29 2009 Boom Boom: Guy Snaps Supersonic Picture
Ronald Dejarnett is the U.S. Navy sonar technician that snapped this pic of an F-22 going boom boom over the Gulf of Alaska. Quick shootin', Ronald -- I probably would have peed a little and yelled DECEPTICON! But that could be my special forces training talking.
A Picture Is Worth About $138 Million [gizmodo]
Sep 26 2008 Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack
Yves "Fusion Man" Rossey successfully crossed the English Channel with a jetpack today. This is one small pew for man, one giant PEW PEW PEW for mankind.
Rossy, a pilot who normally flies an Airbus airliner, crossed the 22 miles between Calais and Dover at speeds of up to 120 mph in 13 minutes, his spokesman said.
Awesome. And as a guy who has made his girlfriend wear a jetpack during sex, I've got to tell you: don't do it from behind.
Hit the jump for a video.
Continue Reading " Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack "
Jul 29 2008 $100,000 Jetpack Coming Next Year?
48-year old New Zealander, Glenn Martin, has spent over 26 years developing a jetpack, and believes it may be ready for sale next year. The 250 lb (part of it rests on the ground at idle so you don't have to lift the weight), 200hp, twin-rotor (it's not actually a jetpack) beast produces 600 lbs of thrust and can be flown for over 30 minutes on a tank of gas. Is it safe? Who cares, I want to fly. And, maybe afterwards, learn to swim.
"People come up and go, 'Is it safe?' " Mr. Martin said. "Safety is a relative thing. We think we have done a lot to make this by far the safest jetpack ever built." But, he acknowledged, "It's not a high bar."He added, "I've got to get my head around the fact that at some point, somebody is going to have a very bad experience."
Well, at least he's being realistic. But seriously Glenn, I want to be that somebody.
Hit the link for a video of the thing and a way long article that was really long that I may or may not have read all of.
Jun 26 2008 DARPA Vulcan Engine Solves Problems
The problem with traditional scramjet planes (planes with the potential of hitting Mach 12-24) is they require supersonic airflow in order to function. So getting up to Mach 4 is a problem. That's why they've typically been piggybacked on other planes to get up to speed, and then released. Which isn't efficient or cost effective (since when did we start caring about this?).
Enter the DAPRA Vulcan. The Vulcan is a hybrid engine that can power a plane with a turbo jet until it's time to kick on the scramjet and feel your nuts climb up into your stomach. DARPA hopes to have a working prototype complete by 2012 and I'm all for it. Think about it -- Mach 24. That's like 250 trillion miles an hour. Which does comes with some inherent risk: I heard if you go that fast you may actually start aging in reverse and then crash the plane because you're seven and can't fly. I believe it.
Hit the jump for a conceptual video.
May 22 2008 Readers: I Have A Birthday Coming Up And There's A Jet Bike For Sale On eBay (Hint)
I've been emailing my Congressman forever requesting he make jet engines required safety equipment on all vehicles, but does he listen to the pleas of common citizens? Noooo. So now I have to buy a blackmarket rocket bike from a potential scam artist on eBay in order to procure a safe damn bike. And here it is. Built by "the world's top pulsejet engine designer and builder" Robert Maddox, the engine puts out 50-60 pounds of thrust and is capable of speeding the bike up to approximately 75 MPH. Sounds good right? Well it's not bad, but even such a paltry engines come with warnings.
JET ENGINES ARE DANGEROUS!! BUY AT YOUR OWN RISK THIS ENGINES RUNS AT 140 DECIBELS AND GLOWS RED-COOL!!
Glows red-cool. I like that, I'm gonna start using it. Anyway, you readers get together and buy this for me for my birthday. Because if you don't, well, it'll be the third year in a row I didn't get anything. Well, that's not entirely true -- last year the dog left me a little present on the bed. Whee, shit on the bed, happy birthday to me! The sad part is that I actually appreciated the gesture.
A couple more pictures (including a pretty sweet looking jet-kart) and a video of the bike in action, after the jump. And, just for the hell of it, I added a funny video of a kid on a firework powered skateboard (watch the whole video).
Apr 29 2008 3,800 HP Jet-Cycle Is A Little Over The Top
Mad Ron Laycock is a man. Mad Ron Laycock is a man who should change his name. Mad Ron Laycock is a man who should change his name and be careful riding a 3,800 HP jet powered deathtrap. That just doesn't look like a good idea. And this is coming from a guy who gets friends to bet him he won't jump out of tall trees. So I know all about bad ideas. Anyway, this bike certainly does bring new meaning to the phrase "crotch rocket", doesn't it? Hrrm, this time that actually made sense. I don't like that. Oh well, good luck with that thing, Mr. Laypipe. Just one last question -- are your balls really steel? Oh damn, plutonium. Well keep those suckers good and polished -- I've heard chicks dig a nice radioactive glow down there.
Another picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " 3,800 HP Jet-Cycle Is A Little Over The Top "
Apr 25 2008 Gryphon Glider Is Wicked Freaking Sweet
We've seen several different gliding apparatus here on Geekologie, and we've even posted the Gryphon before. So why again? Because many of you probably haven't seen it. Plus it's been updated yo. Now the stealthy looking bastard is down to 30 pounds, can carry 100 extra in a built in compartment (pic after jump), and the best part -- can now be fully weaponized. Two words: missiles and lasers and bombs. Is this making you as hot as it is me?
The Gryphon attack glider, designed to penetrate combat zones at 135 miles per hour, could revolutionize the art of parachuting. Its helmet has a heads-up display and provides on-board oxygen for the jump. To land, a soldier separates the wing from his pack and releases his parachute to slow his descent. The wing remains attached to the soldier by a cord and lands before him.
The wing is currently steered manually via rotary controls connected to the rudder, but SPELCO, the company behind it, hopes to add an electronic system to make it much easier to steer. If successful, they'll be dropping a commercial version! Man oh man I can hardly wait. Sure it's no jetpack, but if my shorts are any indication, that hasn't stopped me from riding the 4-Inch Express to Bonertown. *toot toot* All aboard!
Several more pictures of the pack and a link to a video, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Gryphon Glider Is Wicked Freaking Sweet "
Apr 21 2008 Nothing Good: What Happens When You Fly An F-111 Fighter Into A Pelican At 340 MPH
This F-111 hit a pelican in New South Wales, Australia while doing over 340 MPH. As you can see, it's not looking so hot. "The plane was flying at around 3,000 feet during a test bombing raid when a pelican collided with the fiberglass nosecone and was then sucked into one of the engines." Even with a hole in a wing and an engine failure, the pilots were still able to safely land the aircraft. No word on how the pelican is doing, but if I had to guess I'd say seriously freaking not good.*
*Dead
F-111 Fighers And Pelicans Don't Mix [ohgizmo]
Apr 18 2008 Jet Car Driver: Must Be Handsome, Charming
Ed Shadle and Keith Zanghi are two nutjobs that want to break the 800 mph land speed record in the US. To achieve such a breakneck speed they've built the North American Eagle -- a jet car powered by a 1957 Lockheed F-104 Starfighter's 42,500 horsepower engine. The damn thing eats 160 gallons of fuel a minute and costs $16,000 in gas every run. Now I can think of better ways to spend my money, but whatever, I have no record-breaking dreams.
Now the couple is having trouble finding sponsors because no one is interested in two old codgers that built a rocket car, they want a handsome, charismatic daredevil. So now the team is looking for one. You must be between the ages of 20-40, and photogenic. Death wish preferred, but not required. If you want to give it a go send a 400-word email to landspeedracing@gmail.com explaining why you're the man for the job, and attach a photo. Now here's a great idea -- how about getting a woman to drive it? That'll certainly garner some publicity. Think about what Danica Patrick did for racing. I can honestly say I had never masturbated to an IndyCar event before she started. Now I'll even do it to a Nascar Truck Series race. What was my point here? Oh right, a woman. I love women.
Just to give you an idea of how touch with reality these two guys are, Shadle told the Times Online, "It's a lot of fun to drive, but if my age is stopping us getting sponsors, we have to remove that barrier. We'll put some hotshot in the driving seat who looks like Robert Redford and see how that works." Wow, Shadle, wow. The last time I checked (which was 30 seconds ago), Robert Redford was 71 and had a grandfatherly look about him. Not sure that's the look sponsors were going for. Unless, of course, you were referring to Redford in 1969's Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. In which case I loved his mustache in that movie. Wish I could grow one like that, I'd sell rides.
Driver wanted for jet car: must be young, fearless, good looking [dvice]
Apr 10 2008 Star Wars Fett's Vette Music Video Is Okay
Another Star Wars rap song with music video. I'd heard the song before (by mc chris), but never seen a video (which is made from clips of the movies appropriate for the current lyrics). It helps. But I still can't get past the sound of his voice sometimes and why he's rapping about Fett's Vette. I don't remember any Corvettes in the movies. Is that even what he's talking about? I will admit though, the Vette gets 'em wet is a car for balding middle aged men with subpar dongery money.*
*To any Vette owners out there, I'm just jealous. Not only am I balding and seriously not packing any heat down there, but the transmission dropped out of my Metro and now I'm stuck walking everywhere.
Thanks to Nicole, who moonlights as a bounty hunter herself, for the tip
Feb 22 2008 Waveboat Is A Boat Attachment For Jet Skis
The Waveboat attaches to a Jet Ski in under 60 seconds and effectively turns your personal watercraft into a boat. It costs $8,000 but is currently only available for attachment to Yamaha Waverunners. That may change if they catch on. And I definitely see that happening. Just look at all the extra beer storage space it provides. You could fit kegs up there.
UPDATE: The Geekologie writer does not condone the act of drinking and boating. Despite the fact that they were seemingly made for each other. But trust me, I wrecked my buddy's boat. In my defense though that mermaid really did come out of nowhere.
The Waveboat - Turn your personal watercraft into a jetboat in 60 seconds [bornrich]
Jan 24 2008 Jet Wing: Not A Jetpack But I'll Still Take It
We've posted different jetpacks here before, and let's face it, jetpacks are awesome as hell. We also posted the Vampire 2 Wingsuit, which was pretty sweet in its own way. And now comes a sort of hybrid of the two, the Personal Jet Wing.
Basically you jump out of a plane with this thing strapped on and glide to an altitude around 8,000 feet. Then you kick on the engines and about 30 seconds later you're stabilized and flying horizontally. After ignition you reach speeds in excess of 115MPH and have enough juice to fly for 4-6 minutes. While that doesn't sound like a whole lot, I imagine it's more than sufficient time to fill your entire flight suit with excrement.
Check out a video (in French and German) after the jump. The flying starts around 3:00.
Continue Reading " Jet Wing: Not A Jetpack But I'll Still Take It "
Jan 17 2008 Man Mods Motorcycle To Look Like Mini Jet
A man took a Honda Goldwing motorcycle and, with a bunch of modification, made it look like a little jet. It's pretty awesome looking, and the guy who made it is a nutcase. That being said, I want to take it for a spin. But first I need some bombs and missiles up in that mother. The dude says if you went over 80 - 85 MPH it might take off, which I doubt, but hey, the man can dream can't he? I know I dream all the time. Like last night I dreamed I was totally doing it with an ex-girlfriend. When I woke up all my current girlfriend's stuff was moved out and I had two black eyes and my testicles hanging in a blender. There was a note that said if I moved the blender would puree my balls. I figured it was some sort of Saw joke. It wasn't. R.I.P. My nuts.
Honda Motorcycle Modded Into Jet Fighter [boingboing]
Jan 4 2008 Jet Engine Fire Extinguisher Does The Job
Some Hungarian engineers got together and built a fire extinguisher using two Mig-21 jet engines. It was specifically designed to extinguish pipeline and oil drilling fires. As you can see from the video (after the jump), it really makes fires wish they had never started. And it makes me wish I had two spare jet engines lying around. Not that I'd make a fire extinguisher, because I wouldn't. No, I'm building the world's fastest couch, and I think those are just what I need for a speed boost. Because right now my top speed is like, well, 0. It's a pretty slow couch, it just sits there.
Video of the thing in action after the inferno.
Continue Reading " Jet Engine Fire Extinguisher Does The Job "
