Oct 1 2009 Not Dangerous Enough: Jet Powered Carousel
Whenever I think "jet-powered" I think of rocketpacks and blasting off to the moon with a bubble helmet on and then playing hide-and-seek amongst the craters. Secondly, I think of danger and how much fun it is almost dying but then escaping death at the last second and flipping the grim reaper the bird right when he's reaching for you with his scythe. Yeah, I do that all the time. But one thing I don't do all the time (or ever for that matter) is ride a rocket-powered merry-go-round. It just looks too tame. Admittedly, the carousel's shoddy construction did look promising in the beginning, but in the end it's just two guys who might have well taped bottle rockets to their backs. I WANTED TO SEE ONE OF THOSE BITCHES LAUNCHED INTO ORBIT! Or at least a tree. Hurt video needs more hurt.
Skip to 1:30 for the action. And I did like the flames.
Madmen cling to jet-powered merry-go-round [theregister]
Thanks to srvr, who hates vowels.
Sep 4 2009 Balls Of Steel: F-18 Hornet Buzzes Man's Head
This is a video of an F-18 Hornet buzzing some guy's head so close you can taste the jet fuel. Now I'm not saying this thing would kill you if it hit you, but it would certainly mess your hair up. Also, not to brag or nothin', but one time I let a jet land ON MY FACE. Now who's the man?!
F-18 Hornet Ultra Low High Speed Fly By [todaysbigthing]
Thanks to Matt, who once flew a prop-plane through a barn and accidentally hit a chicken.
Aug 31 2009 Cheap!: Guy Selling Jetpack Thingy For $500
Some guy is Canada is selling a homemade jetpack via online classified ad for the low, low price of $500. Sure it'll kill you, but it's only $500!
Jet Pack -- Jumps You 10' in the Air
Handcrafted by myself Using Car and Airplane parts. I spent 15 years as a mechanic. Can Use for 2 High Jumps 10 feet in the air with a safe landing before overheating, takes about an hour to cool down after that.weighs 53lbs, approx Camping backback in size , dull grey in color.
serious buyers only can test out on my property and of course watch me first for safety reasons and training.
Two ten-foot jumps and then you have to let the thing sit for an hour? No offense, but that sounds like some incredibly weak shit. Just sayin', you know what else costs $500, will jump you 10-feet in the air, and NOT require an hour between uses? Twelve pogo sticks.
Thanks to Pepe La PEWPEW, who is in love with a LED flashlight. Hate to break it to you Pepe, but she ain't a laser.
Jul 1 2009 Vroom Vroom Kabloom: 2,700 HP Jet Truck
Chris Lentz, instead of going the classy route and getting a pair of truck nuts, decided to throw a Czech built Motorlet M-701 turbojet in the bed of his truck.
The fifty-five-year-old electrical foreman from Jackson, Michigan, had longed for a jet-powered truck for decades. Two years ago, Lentz discovered a way to realize his dream when he met a pilot from New York who imported used turbojet engines. After watching an example run on a test stand, Lentz paid $10,000 for one.
Unfortunately, it's pretty unimpressive.
Without jet assist, Lentz's 231-hp V-8 accelerated its 6600-pound burden (truck, jet engine, two occupants) to 60 mph in a sluggish 14.5 seconds.
The best of three runs in hybrid mode - exploiting both piston and jet propulsion - trimmed six seconds from the sprint to 60 mph. The quarter-mile speed jumped 30 mph and we achieved 140 mph after 45 seconds of acceleration.
Wow. You could probably tape bottle rockets to your bumper and go faster. Just sayin', HAPPY CANADA DAY! Somebody burn themself with a firework for me.
Video after the jump.
Continue Reading " Vroom Vroom Kabloom: 2,700 HP Jet Truck "
Feb 9 2009 What Happens When Bird Meets Jet Engine
This is a test demonstrating what happens when a foreign object enters a jet engine before buying it dinner first.
Wide Body, Blade-Out Jet Engine Test. Short video showing what happens when a foreign object such as a large bird is ingested in a jet engine. You don't want to be onboard!!!! The joke during training was that you could ingest a 5 lb. bird at 250 kts.......... or a 250 lb bird at 5 kts. They actually have a "chicken gun" they use to fire the chickens into the engines for these tests.
Oh man, just imagine if -- wait, did that just say chicken gun? I want a chicken gun.
UPDATE: So apparently this isn't the chicken gun test after all. Youtube user dknric is a liar! Just like your parents -- you were adopted.
Thanks to Ain, who once sucked a mourning dove into his jetpack's engine and had to crash land in a tree, where he befriended a squirrel. Yay for happy endings!
Nov 25 2008 Man Crosses Gorge With Jetpack, No Lasers
Eric Scott sped across the 1,500-foot-wide Royal Gorge in southern Colorado at a speed of 75 mph. With a jetpack. It took him 21 seconds and the bastard didn't even have a parachute because he's a stupid idiot. Also, this feat isn't very impressive. Anybody can jetpack over a gorge, but who can skateboard over one? Because one time I ollied over a recycling bin in my driveway. And broke my arm. True story. I have a titanium plate and a bunch of screws in there now. Oh my god -- I'm a freaking robot! Quick, off with the arm! We're running out of time -- just kill me! Softly, with your love. *wink*
Hit the jump for a video of the spectacle, which I found slightly disappointing (and I LOVE jetpacks).
Continue Reading " Man Crosses Gorge With Jetpack, No Lasers "
Sep 26 2008 Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack
Yves "Fusion Man" Rossey successfully crossed the English Channel with a jetpack today. This is one small pew for man, one giant PEW PEW PEW for mankind.
Rossy, a pilot who normally flies an Airbus airliner, crossed the 22 miles between Calais and Dover at speeds of up to 120 mph in 13 minutes, his spokesman said.
Awesome. And as a guy who has made his girlfriend wear a jetpack during sex, I've got to tell you: don't do it from behind.
Hit the jump for a video.
Continue Reading " Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack "
Jun 26 2008 DARPA Vulcan Engine Solves Problems
The problem with traditional scramjet planes (planes with the potential of hitting Mach 12-24) is they require supersonic airflow in order to function. So getting up to Mach 4 is a problem. That's why they've typically been piggybacked on other planes to get up to speed, and then released. Which isn't efficient or cost effective (since when did we start caring about this?).
Enter the DAPRA Vulcan. The Vulcan is a hybrid engine that can power a plane with a turbo jet until it's time to kick on the scramjet and feel your nuts climb up into your stomach. DARPA hopes to have a working prototype complete by 2012 and I'm all for it. Think about it -- Mach 24. That's like 250 trillion miles an hour. Which does comes with some inherent risk: I heard if you go that fast you may actually start aging in reverse and then crash the plane because you're seven and can't fly. I believe it.
Hit the jump for a conceptual video.
May 22 2008 Readers: I Have A Birthday Coming Up And There's A Jet Bike For Sale On eBay (Hint)
I've been emailing my Congressman forever requesting he make jet engines required safety equipment on all vehicles, but does he listen to the pleas of common citizens? Noooo. So now I have to buy a blackmarket rocket bike from a potential scam artist on eBay in order to procure a safe damn bike. And here it is. Built by "the world's top pulsejet engine designer and builder" Robert Maddox, the engine puts out 50-60 pounds of thrust and is capable of speeding the bike up to approximately 75 MPH. Sounds good right? Well it's not bad, but even such a paltry engines come with warnings.
JET ENGINES ARE DANGEROUS!! BUY AT YOUR OWN RISK THIS ENGINES RUNS AT 140 DECIBELS AND GLOWS RED-COOL!!
Glows red-cool. I like that, I'm gonna start using it. Anyway, you readers get together and buy this for me for my birthday. Because if you don't, well, it'll be the third year in a row I didn't get anything. Well, that's not entirely true -- last year the dog left me a little present on the bed. Whee, shit on the bed, happy birthday to me! The sad part is that I actually appreciated the gesture.
A couple more pictures (including a pretty sweet looking jet-kart) and a video of the bike in action, after the jump. And, just for the hell of it, I added a funny video of a kid on a firework powered skateboard (watch the whole video).
May 16 2008 'Fusion Man' Provides More Jet Wing Action
I posted the story of the Jet Wing back in January, but since Yves Rossy just made his first public demonstration of the jet-powered wing, he's back in the news. Rossy and sponsors spent over $285,000 perfecting the thing, and he recently flew that shit for a gathered crowd of media before landing on the eastern shore of Lake Geneva (via parachute). Rossi wants to try crossing the English Channel later this year, and eventually fly through the Grand Canyon.
Rossy stepped out of the Swiss-built Pilatus Porter aircraft at 7,500 feet, unfolded the rigid 8-foot wings strapped to his back and dropped. Passing from free fall to a gentle glide, Rossy then triggered four jet turbines and accelerated to 186 miles an hour as a crowd on the mountaintop below gasped -- then cheered.
Steering only with his body, Rossy dived, turned and soared again, flying what appeared to be effortless loops from one side of the Rhone valley to the other. At times he rose 2,600 feet before descending again with a trail of special-effects smoke in his wake.
Ah yes, smoke effects, what a showman.
"It's like a second skin," he later told reporters. "If I turn to the left, I fly left. If I nudge to the right, I go right."
Oh yeah Rossi, just like a second skin. Except, you know, it's a rigid 8-foot wing with four jet engines attached. But besides that, yeah, just like a pair of tighty whities.
Video of Rossi and the wing in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " 'Fusion Man' Provides More Jet Wing Action "
Apr 29 2008 3,800 HP Jet-Cycle Is A Little Over The Top
Mad Ron Laycock is a man. Mad Ron Laycock is a man who should change his name. Mad Ron Laycock is a man who should change his name and be careful riding a 3,800 HP jet powered deathtrap. That just doesn't look like a good idea. And this is coming from a guy who gets friends to bet him he won't jump out of tall trees. So I know all about bad ideas. Anyway, this bike certainly does bring new meaning to the phrase "crotch rocket", doesn't it? Hrrm, this time that actually made sense. I don't like that. Oh well, good luck with that thing, Mr. Laypipe. Just one last question -- are your balls really steel? Oh damn, plutonium. Well keep those suckers good and polished -- I've heard chicks dig a nice radioactive glow down there.
Another picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " 3,800 HP Jet-Cycle Is A Little Over The Top "
Apr 18 2008 Jet Car Driver: Must Be Handsome, Charming
Ed Shadle and Keith Zanghi are two nutjobs that want to break the 800 mph land speed record in the US. To achieve such a breakneck speed they've built the North American Eagle -- a jet car powered by a 1957 Lockheed F-104 Starfighter's 42,500 horsepower engine. The damn thing eats 160 gallons of fuel a minute and costs $16,000 in gas every run. Now I can think of better ways to spend my money, but whatever, I have no record-breaking dreams.
Now the couple is having trouble finding sponsors because no one is interested in two old codgers that built a rocket car, they want a handsome, charismatic daredevil. So now the team is looking for one. You must be between the ages of 20-40, and photogenic. Death wish preferred, but not required. If you want to give it a go send a 400-word email to landspeedracing@gmail.com explaining why you're the man for the job, and attach a photo. Now here's a great idea -- how about getting a woman to drive it? That'll certainly garner some publicity. Think about what Danica Patrick did for racing. I can honestly say I had never masturbated to an IndyCar event before she started. Now I'll even do it to a Nascar Truck Series race. What was my point here? Oh right, a woman. I love women.
Just to give you an idea of how touch with reality these two guys are, Shadle told the Times Online, "It's a lot of fun to drive, but if my age is stopping us getting sponsors, we have to remove that barrier. We'll put some hotshot in the driving seat who looks like Robert Redford and see how that works." Wow, Shadle, wow. The last time I checked (which was 30 seconds ago), Robert Redford was 71 and had a grandfatherly look about him. Not sure that's the look sponsors were going for. Unless, of course, you were referring to Redford in 1969's Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. In which case I loved his mustache in that movie. Wish I could grow one like that, I'd sell rides.
Driver wanted for jet car: must be young, fearless, good looking [dvice]
Mar 4 2008 Minivan Is Mega Fun, Jet Engine Powered
This Dodge Caravan isn’t your standard stock vehicle. No sir -- this bad boy is packing a jet engine. It does an 1/8 mile in 7.65 seconds and is way cooler than the van my mom used to drive me to school in. It even has a mechanism that opens the window and positions the jet engine out the back when you're ready for takeoff (see second video). The rest of the time you can drive around like it doesn't have a freaking jet engine in the back. Although why you'd ever do that is a mystery to me. As my girlfriend likes to say when she's standing on top of a stool at the bar and waving her penis around like a helicopter -- "If you've got it, flaunt it."
Three videos of the van in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " Minivan Is Mega Fun, Jet Engine Powered "
