May 5 2009 Sap Cap Is Actually A Weapon In Disguise
The Sap Cap is no ordinary headwear. Oh no, the baseball hat actually has a pocket of "unique impact material that is 110% the density of lead and will not rust" sewn into the back. Granted it's no Oddjob razor hat, but may do in a pinch (also: your clumsy ass would probably cut your own arm off with an Oddjob hat). Just remove the cap, hold by the brim, and proceed to brain your opponent. Now call me old fashioned, but I still prefer a sock full of quarters. Not only is it a lethal weapon, but you can also pay strangers' expired parking meters. But not too many! Lest you find yourself wielding an empty sock. Which, as I'm sure you all know, is only effective for beating yourself. BOOM SHACKA LACKA!
Feb 24 2009 LG Watch Phone Coming Soon, Costing A Lot
The LG touchscreen G910 watchphone is both watch and cellphone and is actually being made. The drop will start in Europe with a pricetag of £1,000 / €1,144 and then make its way to the states for somewhere between $1,000 and $1,500. So, you willing to pay a cool grand to be the first one with a watchphone? How much you willing to pay to be the first to kiss the Geekologie Writer? Do I hear $10? $5? The ice-cream truck? Wait for me, mister, I want a rocket-pop!
LG's G910 watchphone to cost £1,000? [engadget]
Feb 8 2009 Bond Would Be Ashamed: A Lighter Spycam
Ever wanted to covertly record six-hours of the inside of your pants pocket? Well now you can thanks to Ajoka's Real Lighter DVR Lighter Camera Hidden Digital Video Recorder Micro Camera. Jesus, hell of a product title there. The thing costs about $150 wholesale and "discreetly records 640 x 480 or QVGA in AVI format at 30 frames per second and supports microSD up to 8GB. It's got a lithium ion battery for 6 hours of filming and is charged via USB." Interesting, but I've tried smoking before and nope: the girls still run screaming from the locker room.
Cigarette lighter camera shows there's nothing more patriotic than espionage [engadget]
Thanks to Justin, who wasn't really that into Miss Moneypenny but double-oh sixty-nine'd her anyways just to spite Mr. Bond.
Aug 21 2008 Spy Watch Hides Video Camera In The Two
The $236 Spy Micro Camera Watch from Brando hides a video camera in the 2 for all sorts of top secret video surveillance missions. The unit packs 2GB of internal memory and can transfer files to a computer via USB cable. Unfortunately, the little bugger only records AVIs in 352 x 288 resolution. Which is pretty shitty. Still, it'll still be good for one thing, won't it? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Super grainy upsleeve videos! We should totally start a fetish site.
Spy Micro Camera Watch [ubergimzo]
Aug 6 2008 James Bond Opening Played On Dormitory Windows, Also, The Snake Game!
Well we've already seen two different episodes of window Tetris, so it was only a matter of time till people starting branching out. The video above is the opening to James Bond films, and the one after the jump is of a game of Snake. You know, where you go around eating dots and growing longer. Yeah, that one. Hellafun. Both videos were made by a group of Polish college students (ZOMG -- it's a Polish computer! HAHAHAH....holy shit I'm racist.) Seriously though, could you imagine how awesome Grand Theft Auto 4 would look like played on those windows?
A. Totally rad!
II. The sickness!
C. Dude, are you retarded?
D. OMG, there's a naked chick changing in a lower-left window at 0:14!
4. Haha, just kidding.
5. Damn you, GW!
Hit the jump to see the Snake game, which features a little Pong action at the end too.
Continue Reading " James Bond Opening Played On Dormitory Windows, Also, The Snake Game! "
Jun 5 2008 Self-Stirring Coffee Mug For The Fingerless
Are you a lazy bastard or a shop teacher that's had ten accidents? If so, this self stirring mug may be for you. The mugs are made by Gevalia, a company best known for convincing me to sign up for their coffee of the month club through the use of a well placed late-night infomercial featuring a sexy saleswoman with a sultry voice. Anyway, the $19 mug features a special base that runs on two AAA batteries and promises "to gently stir your beverage at the push of a button". Now call me crazy, but what kind of gentle stir creates a freaking whirlpool in your beverage? That picture looks like a blender set on the highest setting. You'd have hot beverage in your lap quicker than you could say "I'm suing you McDonalds because I'm a stupid asshole and the coffee you served me was hot." Still, I'm buying one. Mostly because, unlike that pussy James Bond, I like my martinis stirred -- and served in 12-ounce mugs. Suck it Bond, you couldn't even spy on your own girlfriend in the shower.
Stir Mug Does All Of The Work For You [ohgizmo]
Mar 28 2008 For The Ladies: Golden Girl 24 Karat Facials
Are you an independently wealthy woman? A gold(!) digger? Do you like blowing wads of cash? If so you may want to consider this 24 karat luxury facial treatment. For about $360 you can get an 80-minute gold leafing of your face.
Ron Razeggi, U.S. chief operating officer of the manufacturer, UMO, said: "The skin tries to reject the gold because it's a foreign object. In order to do that, it builds new cells."Right now, the body produces new cells every 28 days. But this accelerates the cell-building and, as a result, it firms and tightens the skin."
Well there you have it ladies, straight from the jackass's mouth. In all honesty though, if you're a woman and reading this website I'm confident you're already beautiful inside and out (not to mention intelligent and complete with a great sense of humor) and don't need this crap. Besides, you don't even get to keep the gold after the treatment.
Spa strikes gold with the anti-aging 24-karat facial [dailymail]
Thanks to Silas, who is practically made of precious metals, for the tip
Mar 19 2008 Bat-Like Spy Plane Not Endorsed By Batman
The Army has awarded the College of Engineering at the University of Michigan $10 million dollars to develop this bat-inspired spy plane. The flying mammal plane would "gather data from sights, sounds and smells in urban combat zones and transmit information back to a soldier in real time." Among the top developmental priorities are microelectronics for the 6" spy plane.
They will develop sensors, communication tools and batteries for this micro-aerial vehicle that's been dubbed "the bat." Engineers envision tiny cameras for stereo vision, an array of mini microphones that could home in on sounds from different directions, and small detectors for nuclear radiation and poisonous gases. Low-power miniaturized radar and a very sensitive navigation system would help the bat find its way at night. Energy scavenging from solar, wind, vibration and other sources would recharge the bat's lithium battery. The aircraft would use radio to send signals back to troops.
Awesome, I hope it actually happens. Otherwise that's a lot of money down the drain for a work bench covered with scrap metal and electronic parts. Say, does anybody know how I can score one of these $10 million Army grants? I've got a great idea for urban combat reconnaissance missions. It's called me in a trenchcoat with a spy camera bow-tie.
A closeup render of the bat's head area after the jump.
Continue Reading " Bat-Like Spy Plane Not Endorsed By Batman "
Feb 15 2008 The Video To Prove It: RinSpeed sQuba Car Is Real, Not Just Concept Art. OMG, OMG!!
Many of you may remember the Rinspeed sQuba car posted a few months ago. It's a zero emission vehicle that runs off a rechargeable lithium-ion battery and can dive underwater. All we had back then were a couple of concept art pics, but now there's a video! Sure it's a ridiculously horrible James Bond parody with a mediocre Bond girl, but it shows the car in action -- underwater! It's definitely worth checking out. It's a 5:00 minute video, but the car doesn't go under until about 2:30, so feel free to skip there. And also, skip to my lou, my darlin'. Or, if that isn't your scene, you can skip out on your next bar tab. And if a bouncer happens to catch you just tell him the Geekologie writer told you to -- then tase that mother!
A long, long, long, long description of the vehicle and company after the jump.
Feb 13 2008 Grappling Hook Launcher For Lame Ninjas
I'm a card carrying elite ninja and do all my grapple tossing by hand, so personally I wouldn't be caught dead with a pneumatic grappling hook (although I may be caught dead with a chest full of throwing stars).
A pneumatically launched tactical line-throwing system developed by DFT for Special Operations Forces. The T-PLS can launch a standard titanium grappling hook towing a 7mm Kevlar line in excess of 120 vertical feet using a regulated air source. Minimizing complexity and emphasizing durability, T-PLS brings a much needed capability by mitigating noise and allowing the SOF operator to reach new heights in tactical climbing missions.
The only thing it's missing is a device that automatically sends you up the rope, which obviously us real ninjas would frown upon. However for you out of shape and/or novice ninjas, this may be a necessary evil. I don't know about that marketing picture though. Are they implying that you can grapple all the way to the sun? How ridiculous! Because once I grappled to Mercury to kill an alien warlord, and that climb was about all my arms could take.
Grappling hook back-ups high tech gear [crave]
Feb 1 2008 Poor Thing: Sports Car Has Identity Crisis
Apparently Rinspeed developed this vehicle long before their sQuba car, but it's just making its rounds on the internet, so here it is. The Splash is a little sports car (0-60 in 5.9) that, with the push of a button, turns into a little hydrofoil boat capable of 45 knots (~52 mph). It's powered by natural gas and there's no word on price or if they're even available. I really admire Rinspeed for their multipurpose vehicles, but it seems they can't think outside the land/water box. Try this one on for size Rinspeed - the Blastoff. It's a car and a rocketship. You can drive it to work or the freaking moon. It's got wheels and an engine like a car, but it also has hyper-thrusters and all that space technology stuff too. Yeah, and it's modeled after an old El Camino. Is that specific enough to secure a patent? I don't want anybody stealing my idea.
Another picture and a video after the jump.
Continue Reading " Poor Thing: Sports Car Has Identity Crisis "
Dec 21 2007 Oh Hell Yes: The Rinspeed sQuba Car
Well I was about to go apeshit on the Rinspeed sQuba car until I read they admitted to it being inspired by James Bond's Lotus in The Spy Who Loved Me. So after I calmed down a bit and drank my weight in cough syrup I passed out in the driveway on the way to the mailbox. When a passing street-sweeper finally woke me I pissed myself and fell back asleep.
Anyways, the sQuba car can drive on land and "at the push of a button will autonomously transform into an amphibious vehicle capable of diving to a depth of about 33 feet." Hell yes, now that is what I'm talking about. Well, that and passing out in the driveway.
An electric motor with powerful torque drives the rear wheels. The propulsion on the water is ensured by two propellers in the stern and two powerful jet drives in the bow propel the vehicle under water while diving. With zero emissions, zero pollution in the seven seas of this world. The light weight body with components made of futuristic Carbon Nano Tubes encloses in a streamlined manner the driver and passenger who are supplied with fresh breathing air by the self-contained on-board system.
While the pictures above are clearly not real, the car does (or will) exist, and is going to be on display at the Geneva Motor Show from March 6th to 16th. So check it out if you get the chance. And by "check it out" I mean "steal it for me". You see, I'm a professional treasure hunter, and this is just the thing I need to cruise the seafloor searching for treasure. It's been far too long since I've spotted any booty. Well, except my roommate's -- he's somewhat of an exhibitionist.
Rinspeed sQuba Diving Concept Car [ohgizmo]
Dec 12 2007 OMG, OMG! I Need A Freaking Jet Pack!
We've featured the rocket belt in the past, and even some cool footage from a jet pack convention, and now comes a new jet pack from Jet Pack International! "These turbine jet packs are supposed to have much greater flight time and be much safer than traditional jet pack technology. It is supposed to travel 16km without refueling." Not too shabby. The consumer model will come with all the training necessary to fly it safely and will run $226,000. Damnit! That's a quarter of a million dollars -- I don't have that kind of dough. Maybe if I tell them I don't want the training course I can get it for cheaper. I absolutely must have one though, I promised myself I wouldn't die until I've made love with a jetpack on.
A MUST SEE VIDEO OF ONE OF THEIR EARLIER PACKS IN ACTION AFTER THE JUMP. IT'S AWESOME!
Nov 29 2007 Plate Flipper Can Get You In Trouble
The Plate Flipper flips your license plate down 90 degrees with the push of a button on the dash, displaying whatever you choose to have underneath. The car model runs $100, and the one for motorcycles goes for $90. Not too shabby for adding some James Bond styling to your car (although you could definitely make one for cheaper). Unfortunately there's no oil-slick or missile launcher included. And you have to be careful what you choose to have underneath. Because one time in middle school my friend's mom was driving us to school and we thought it would be funny to write "Eat Me Coppers" in the frost on the back window. Needless to say his mom didn't find it as funny as we did. Neither did the police officer behind us.
Plate Flipper Gets Your Message Across [ohgizmo]
Nov 19 2007 Martini Maker: James Bond Would Be Sick
The Waring Pro Automatic Martini Maker is an electric martini maker that costs $100. "Simply add your favorite ingredients using the 1-ounce shaker cap, turn it on, wait for the green olive to light up, press shaken or stirred on the touchpad and you've just made the perfect martini." So basically it's a piece of junk that shakes or stirs ingredients for $100. Notice how James Bond, a martini connoisseur, does not endorse this product. He thinks it's stupid. Like making out with ugly chicks, he just doesn't do it. I do though, because I'm desperate and ugly.
James Bond Gadget - automatic martini maker [popgadget]
Sep 14 2007 USB Spypen Is Huge, Won't Trick Anyone
The Thanko Spydisk packs an SD card reader/writer along with 512 MB of its own flash memory into a pen the size of one of those jumbo pencils you used in kindergarten because you had no hand coordination. The USB connector is hidden under the pen cap, and the car reader is behind the pen's clip. It costs $50 plus shipping, and I question its spy-worthiness. Of course, I'm not a very good spy. The last time I tried to steal a company's trade secrets I didn't download anything, and accidentally uploaded my personal banking information, along with some private pictures my girlfriend and I took on vacation.
USB Spypen is Huge, Won't Trick Anyone [uberreview]
Aug 16 2007 Jetpacks Are Awesome
The 2007 Rocketbelt Conference in Niagara Falls just took place this past weekend, and based on the pictures and video, I'd say it was awesome. Growing up in a brothel, I always wanted a jetpack so I could fly away and say goodbye to sad times forever. Well twenty years later, I'm still here, and only now am I starting to think that these jetpacks are getting safe enough for me to finally say goodbye. I mean sure there has always been a door, but nothing quite says "I'm getting away from you crazy hookers" like blasting through the roof with a jetpack and crash helmet.
A video of a jetpack ride after the jump.
