Nov 19 2009 Air Blower iPhone App Really Blows Air (See What I Did There? There's More To Come!)

Looking for the latest and least greatest in iPhone apps? Check out the $1 "Blower" app. It sucks blows sucks and blows is f***ing stupid.

Thanks to the new "Blower" app, iPhone owners will now be able to blow out candles with their handset. Just "switch on your app, turn the iPhone volume to the max and feel the air flowing from the speaker opening."

Unlock the new mind-blowing secret feature on your iPhone. Turn your iPhone into a real Air Blower!

Mind-blowing secret feature my ass. An x-ray camera, now THAT'S a mind-blowing secret feature. Or the ability to make calls to the dead. Phone developers, are you getting all this? Because I'm not buying another phone until I can talk to George Washington and take pictures of Martha's underwear. Just saying.

Hit the jump for a video of the app blowing out candles. WHEE, what a birthday!

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Nov 2 2009 iPhone Fan Makes Anti-Droid Commercial

If you watch television you've probably seen the anti-iPhone Droid commercial that Verizon is running (if you haven't, watch it after the jump first). Well this is an anti-Droid commercial in the same style, created by a crazed iPhone fan that doesn't like it when people bad-talk his girlfriend. TOO BAD THE HUSSY DROPS MY CALLS ALL THE TIME. Ooooh, burn!

Hit the jump for the original commercial.

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Oct 29 2009 Another Halloween, Another The Same Couple Of Guys Dressed As Giant iPhones

Have a spare flat-screen television sitting around and want to trick-or-treat as a giant iHole iPhone? Me neither. But these two guys did (who, it turns out, are the same cats in this video with their 2007 iPhone costumes), and more power to them. And by more power I mean less candy. GET OFF MY LAWN!

Youtube

Thanks to Bryan, ViLLaiN, ashlyn and Chrissy, who will be trick-or-treating as total badasses. (No costumes necessary)

Oct 7 2009 It's About Time: A Fake iPhone Pocket Scale

Let's face it, we don't all sell drugs *whistling*, but we do all need pocket scales. Maybe you just want to know how much a letter weighs before sending it. Or like to precisely measure ingredients while cooking. Or maybe you sell coke and weed. Enter the fake iPhone pocket scale. With a cover that looks unconvincingly like a real iPhone, this has got to be the cheese-whizziest scale disguise I've ever seen (and I once owned a scale designed to look like a Twilight dildo). Geez, make a scale that looks like a book already! That's what I did (I've got what you're looking for). You're not a cop, right? Cause boy you'd look cute in one of those hats!

Hit the jump to see the display case the scale was spotted in, just in case there was any question to its intended porpoise. Porpoise? I'm a dolphin, bitch!

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Oct 7 2009 I'm Pirating All Her Songs Just To Spite Her: A Horribly Singing Robot

Yamaha's HRP-4C robot, best known for having pervs take pictures of its ass and modeling wedding dresses, can now sing song requests sent to it via iPhone. Impressive, Yamaha. I mean, if I DIDN'T SEE MORE IMPRESSIVE TECHNOLOGY AT CHUCK E CHEESE'S 20 YEARS AGO. Oooooh, burn! Seriously -- this thing, with fire. And while we're on the subject, somebody's dad touched my butt in the ballpit.

Hit the jump for a video of the robotic tramp singing terribly.

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Sep 22 2009 Idiot Moron Uses 600K Text Messages/Month

Some idiot moron, in an effort to become the world's biggest failure at life, used 662,258 text messages on his iPhone in a month. Plus the jerkbag got the 12,301 page itemized bill sent to him, so he doesn't even care about trees. I did the math, and it comes out to sending a text message just about every 4 seconds, all day every day. So I assume there was some sort of automated program involved. Also, a monster douche.

Hit the jump for two videos of the idiot looking at his bill.

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Sep 15 2009 Tough Times: The iPhone Recession Case

Tough economic times call for even tougher men patrolling the streets with leather chaps and cute hats. And I am one of those men. Also, you don't want to spend too much money during a recession because then you won't have enough for drinking. And drinking, as I'm sure many of you know, is one of the very few things that make life worth living (in addition to the internet and the love of a good woman). Enter the Case-Mate iPhone 3G/3GS Recession Case. Priced at a paltry $1 (or 10 for $8), the cardboard case is the perfect protection for an iPhone toting cheapskate. Plus, they're great for starting fires. In the bedroom. I'm talking about that freaky deaky shit! Oh yeah, baby, that's the stuff -- now hit me with the extinguisher!

Product Site

Thanks to Chuey The Rock n Roll Midget, who doesn't have to pay for airfare because he ships himself in a flat-rate box from the United States Postal Service (pay me bitches).

Sep 3 2009 How To Rob An Apple Store In 31 Seconds

Just like this. IN 31 seconds the thieves made off with 23 Macbook Pro's, 14 iPhones and 9 iPod Touch. Wow. And did anybody else find it annoying how the reporter was speaking during the video? "Watch again as the thieves show skilled practice at bringing down that plate glass door. And savvy enough to wear masks knowing there would be surveillance cameras ALL OVER THE PLACE." Skilled practice, really? THEY THREW A BRICK THROUGH A GLASS DOOR. "Savvy enough to wear masks"? Jesus, it's not like they trained pigeons to rob the store, they tied bandannas around their faces and this guy thinks they're criminal masterminds.

How to Rob an Apple Store [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Greg, Gino, Sarah and The Superficial Writer, who could have done it in 29 seconds AND snagged a couple iPhone cases.

Aug 29 2009 There's An App For That: iPhone Fauxmercial

This is a fake commercial for iPhone apps. I thought it was pretty funny. And not just because stalking ex-girlfriends is funny, because that is only mildy humorous (but mostly sad and creepy). No, I just couldn't get enough of the guy's voice. I must have you on my home answering machine!

LEAKED: New iPhone commercial [adamthinks]

Thanks to The Baroness, who had an iPhone for a day and then dropped it and broke it BECAUSE SHE MEANT TO.

Aug 20 2009 RAWR!: The Best iPhone Dock Ever Made

This is an iPhone dock made out of a dinosaur toy. You can make one yourself if you want. You just cut a hole in a dinosaur toy, maybe pleasure yourself with it a couple times because I mean, it's there, and then stuff the docking wire in there. It is seriously the best iPhone dock you could possibly ever make and I don't want any lip about it. I mean it, what I say goes. I am the world's greatest lover. BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW CAUSE I'M SAVING MYSELF FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL. No, I said special, not special needs.

iPhone Dinosaur Dock Is Bound To Rule Them All [iphonesavior]

Thanks to Byll and Aaron, who, RAWR! Okay, now I'm in the mood.

Aug 2 2009 iPhone Allegedly Catches Fire, Ruins Upholstry

Allegedly some Dutch guy's iPhone spontaneously combusted in his passenger seat when he stepped away from his vehicle to fix a windmill and make a pair of wooden shoes. Per the translation:

Pieter from Leiden had this afternoon, unfortunately the Dutch premiere of his iPhone 3G spontaneously started burning. His iPhone 3G was on the passenger's seat in standby mode and not the charger. By returning to his car came thick black smoke through the door to the outside and the cause was his iPhone 3G in spontaneously fire was flown. Besides a total devastated iPhone 3G Pieter has also considerable damage to his car.

Pieter has direct contact with Apple Netherlands and T-mobile but n och Apple or T-mobile still take some responsibility.

Hey, weirder things have happened. I can't think of any right now but I'm sure they have. Well, there was this one time I parked my car, opened the door, and there was a $10 SITTING RIGHT THERE. Explain that one without aliens. Exactly, you can't.

Hit the jump for two more shots of the damage.

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Aug 1 2009 Geekologie Reader Makes Plasticine iPhone

Geekologie loyalist Mark went and made an iPhone out of Placticine modeling clay. Now I know what you're thinking, and I agree -- JUST LIKE THE REAL THING! Granted, people have already made iPhones out of all sorts of stuff, but, quite frankly, those people don't read Geekologie. Or if they do they don't write telling me how much they like me and how awesome I am. FLATTERY PAYS, FOLKS. And, amazingly, blogging.

What you see is the result of a bored day at work plus a box of plasticine. The colours are a bit messed up as we only had yellow, red, orange, green and blue.... the rest we had to mix up.

(sorry I didn't add a dinosaur app to it)

So here's what you do: you ask to borrow somebody's real iPhone, and then, once you have it in hand, you slyly turn away and then replace it with this one. Then make ringing sounds until they try to pick up! HAHAHAHAHA -- good times.

Thanks Mark, now make me a dinosaur. Go on, you promised.

Jul 22 2009 Sadness: Lost iPhone Prototype Drives Chinese Factory Worker To Suicide

And in a bit of sad news, a Chinese factory worker jumped to his death after losing track of an iPhone prototype he was responsible for shipping to Apple.

The dead worker, Sun Danyong, 25, worked in product communications at Foxconn Technology Group, a Taiwanese firm that makes many Apple products at a massive factory in the southern city of Shenzhen, near Hong Kong.

Sun was responsible for sending iPhone prototypes to Apple, and on July 13 he reported that he was missing one of the 16 fourth-generation units in his possession, the newspaper reported. His friends said company security guards searched his apartment, detained him and beat him, the paper reported.

Apple Inc. responded Wednesday by saying its suppliers are required to treat workers with dignity and respect.

Blood phones, just sayin'.

Chinese Worker Kills Self Over Missing iPhone [foxnews]

Thanks to Gino, who would have just burned the factory to the ground to cover up the loss. Smart thinking.

Jul 8 2009 How Much All The iPhone Apps Would Cost

If you wanted to buy all the current iPhone apps, guess how much it would cost? Go on, take a stab at it. But wait till I'm a safe distance away, you wield a knife like a crazy person. BOOM: 55,732 apps for a total of $144,326.06. Which, amazingly, is still $118K over my lifetime earning potential. You know how some people eat ramen? I eat rocks.

The Cost of Buying Every iPhone App: $144,326.06 [gizmodo]

Jul 6 2009 I'd Eat You Up: Candy iPhone Circuit Board

Insired by the iPhone's motherboard (it's such a thing of beauty, is it not?), Sarah made her boyfriend James a delicious rendition out of candy. What a lucky bastard.

My girlfriend Sarah made this candy circuit board birthday cake topper. Originally she wanted to make a gingerbread MakerBot, but didn't have the time or space.

Instead she was inspired by the iPhone motherboard and went from there. The base is dark chocolate covered with green frosting. The resistors are Tic Tacs!

LIKE TIC-TACS, YOUR RESISTORS ARE FUTILE, HUMANS -- YOU WILL BOW BEFORE YOUR METALLIC GODS. OIL ME -- OIL ME NOW! BEEP BOOP BOP. LIFE FORCE DETECTED, EVASIVE ACTION INITIATED.

Sorry guys, I was making a sandwi....why's my chair warm?

Candy PCB most likely ROHS-compliant [make]

Thanks to kelly and towhee, who promise to make me a dinosaur cake for my birthday. Heads up though: I'm gonna need some private time before the cutting.

Jul 6 2009 Another Day, Another Retro iPhone Case

Last week it was an exceptionally made oldschool Playstation iPhone case, and this week, a Game Boy.

"You will love it, and your friends will be jealous because you are so much cooler." said German designer Toastkawaii wildly exaggerating in her product description.

$15 will take one home, and another $10 will take me. Now I don't know about you, but I'm digging this one more than the fancy Playstation. This one's got a nice kindergarten arts and crafts feel to it.

Hit the jump for another shot.

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Jul 3 2009 Cuuuuuuute!: Felt Playstation iPhone Case

This is a felt Playstation iPhone case made by Etsy user rabbitrampage. As you can see (provided you're not rocking dualie eyepatches) it was very well constructed. And whenever she actually has one in stock, it'll run you $20 -- plus another $7 per controller. Still, damn cute. I'd even consider buying one if I didn't just get a new purse.

Hit the jump for a shot of an iPhone exiting the case. Or is it entering? We may never know.

Continue Reading " Cuuuuuuute!: Felt Playstation iPhone Case "

Jun 26 2009 Guy Fills iPhone With Cleverly Made Icons

This is a pretty exciting picture of some guy's iPhone. As you can see, he traded all the icons out for pictures he made himself. Pretty cute. Not the phone -- your dog. Can I pet it?

This iPhone is Freakin' Hilarious [gizmodo]

Thanks to greg, who traded out all his iPhone icons for nothing because WHO NEEDS BUTTONS AM I RIGHT?!

Jun 11 2009 Star Trek Communicator App For iPhone

Want a realistic Star Trek communicator app for your iPhone? You're in luck, dog.

This classic Star Trek communicator app for iPhone slipped past us when it was first released into the App Store at the end of May. The spot on graphics and familiar chirping sound triggered when performing the epic cover-flip to access the communicator's controls is pure goodness.

This app is dangerously authentic and it's actually useful too. Unfortunately the developers had to name it "Star Radio Communicator" ($.99) in order to keep Paramount from sniffing out their brilliant effort.

*BEEP BOOP chirpity chirp chirp* Geekologie Writer, come in -- this is your captain speaking. What do you say you and I go investigate planet Dinosauria and score some sweet tail? "Captain, I've already been beamed."

UPDATE: App was purchased by several Geekologie Readers who attest the thing is a monster piece of shit and doesn't sound right at all. Save your buck.

Star Trek Communicator for iPhone Is Spot On [iphonesavior]

Thanks to Michael, who boob beep chirpity chirps all the ladies. And to Dan, Aaron and konstance for each pissing away $1 to find out it sucks the balls.

Jun 8 2009 Apple's Worldwide Developer's Conference: New iPhone 3GS And Some Other Stuff

Well folks, Apple just wrapped up its Worldwide Developer's Conference in San Francisco, and, (no) surprise!: a new iPhone (and software update) available June 19th. Also, a couple new laptops and a new OS, Snow Leopard (I hope nobody got paid for that). Anyway, the highlights of the new iPhone are as follows:

• Improved performance
• 3-megapixel autofocus camera
• Video recording
• Voice Control
• Digital compass
• Cut, Copy & Paste
• MMS
• Spotlight Search
• Landscape keyboard
• Voice Memos

Wonderful. Especially considering I dropped mine face down on the driveway two days AND THEN STEPPED ON IT AND SKIDDED IT ACROSS THE concrete. Luckily, it didn't break, it just got scratched all to hell. Don't believe me? Hold on, I'll take a picture.

Okay, so you can't take a picture OF your iPhone WITH your iPhone (without using mirrors the way you'd look at your own ass in the bathroom).

Hit the jump for a picture of my wallpaper instead and a visual comparison of the new iPhone and old iPhone.

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