Feb 8 2010 Google To Add Store Views To Google Maps?

Allegedly Google plans to feature the interiors of participating retail stores on Google Maps. Because, well, I'm not really sure why. Something to do with controlling the world though, that's a given.

The report comes from Search Engine Land, which was contacted by a New York company called Oh Nuts. Apparently the almond-monger recently got a visit from camera-toting Google guys, who photographed their entire store, six feet at a time, in every direction.

So essentially, you'd be able to see a storefront in Street View, click on it, and check out the interior for inventory, cleanliness, layout, etc.

Interesting, Google, but you know what would be even more helpful? Live webcams in Victoria's Secret dressing rooms. That would be huge. And speaking of huge -- go ahead and throw some in the plus-size stores as well. I LIKE 'EM THICK! I'm serious -- if I can't stand comfortably in one leg of a woman's panties I....throw that pair back and try another dryer.

Google Wants to Add Store Interiors to Maps [gizmodo]

Thanks to Craig, who's only interested in pet store cams. Keep the tips coming, Craig!

Feb 8 2010 Scientists Discover Dinosaur's True Colors

Finally scientists have proven that, despite what popular kid's programs would have you believe, dinosaurs were not all purple and sing-songy and allowed near children. Nope, some has feathers. Red ones.

The researchers removed 29 chips, each the size of a poppy seed, from across the dinosaur's body. Mr. Vinther put the chips under a microscope and discovered melanosomes.

To figure out the colors of Anchiornis feathers, Mr. Vinther and his colleagues turned to Matthew Shawkey, a University of Akron biologist who has made detailed studies of melanosome patterns in living birds. Dr. Shawkey can accurately predict the color of feathers from melanosomes alone. The scientists used the same method to decipher Anchiornis's color pattern.

Anchiornis had a crown of reddish feathers surrounding dark gray ones, and its face was mottled with reddish and black spots. Its body was dark gray, but its limb feathers were white with black tips.

Given the full detail of the findings, Dr. Prum said, "it was like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs."

"....like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs." Where the hell do these people come up with this stuff? Because I want their power of similes. Could you imagine? A word wizard of my caliber mastering the art of similes? I'd be like an unstoppable tornado of raw power and supple skin that you just want to feel against your cheek so badly but can't BECAUSE I'M A F***ING RAGING TORNADO AND WILL TEAR YOUR GOTDAMN HOUSE DOWN. Suck it, wolf.

Evidence Builds on Color of Dinosaurs [nytimes]
and
True-Color Dinosaur Revealed: First Full-Body Rendering [nationalgeographic]

Thanks to Ryan, littlezan, big jerm, Shea, Divo, Da, Meow vs Meow, lauren!, Foxx, Anonymous_Rex, ellen, Amanda, Alan, Gabriel, Jujufruit, Griffin, Gavin, Sydney, Jennifer, Mike, Max, Brent, danundertheice, Chupacabra, Jonathan, Dustin, graf zeppelin, The Coffee Mugger, Aleisha and anybody else whose email I couldn't find because the mail sorter at the internet post office is a jerk, I love dinos and so should you.

Feb 4 2010 Informational Graphics: State Of The Internet

This is a little (well, large actually) informational graphic explaining who uses the interwebs and some other stuff about this bitchin' series of tubes. There's nothing particularly shocking about the stats except for the fact that US broadband speed sucks big ol' fossilized dino balls compared to everywhere else. Oh, and the State of the Blogosphere section, that part was interesting. Did you know that 16% of bloggers consider themselves "snarky", 44% "humorous" and 54% "expert"? Only one answered "hung like mountain lion, if mountain lions were 18 feet tall and three-quarters penis", and that was me. Just sayin', I can't lie.

Hit the jump for the rest of the moderately informative graphic.

Continue Reading " Informational Graphics: State Of The Internet "

Feb 3 2010 They're So Talented: Little Birds Playing Guitar

This is a video of little birds playing guitar as part of some wack-ass French (of course) art exhibit.

For his installation in The Curve, Boursier-Mougenot creates a walk-though aviary for a flock of zebra finches, furnished with electric guitars and other musical instruments. As the birds go about their routine activities, perching on or feeding from the various pieces of equipment, they create a captivating, live soundscape.

Hmm, I dunno. Is a bunch of little birds playing guitar really art? Did I serve as the model for Michalangelo's David? That was supposed to be rhetorical. But since I've piqued your interest, yes, I did. Except for the wang (I had mine thrown over my shoulder).

Youtube
via
Birds Can Play Guitar [buzzfeed]

Feb 2 2010 Ignoble Gases: Periodic Table Of Smellements

This is the periodic table of smellements as developed by Natalie Dee. This version's really small and probably hurting your eyes to squint at though so click THIS BUTTON to see a full-size version AND PREPARE TO BE ODORIZED! Well, what do you think? I thought it was pretty awesome except for the ones at the bottom. Those ones made my uke-pay in my outh-may a little. And by a little I mean a lot. It's dribbling down my chin. Well? LICK IT UP, PEASANT! This is all your fault somehow, I know it.

Periodic Table of Smellements [nataliedee]

Thanks to Ambrose and Kristen, who are both transition smells.

Feb 1 2010 I'm Learning!: Ballpoint Pens Explain Sex

Whew -- after an unquestionably robot-related catastrophic failure yesterday, Geekologie is back and ready to dance. Here, I'll lead. And by lead I mean stand on your shoes while you shuffle me around the dance floor like a little girl. Okay, now make me fly like Baby at the end of 'Dirty Dancing'. Whoa -- whoa -- wheeeeeeeeeee!! *CRASH* Wow, that was definitely NOT the time of my life. These are pens explaining sex. Blogging magic -- I've still got it.

Hit the jump for more, better ones (damn yeah I'm going for that extra click. DO IT!).

Continue Reading " I'm Learning!: Ballpoint Pens Explain Sex "

Jan 30 2010 Ports, We Need More Ports: 80 Hole USB Hub

Need more USB ports? Who doesn't, amirite? Well then look no further than Thanko's 80-port USB panel. At $200, there's really no reason not to buy a half dozen. Plus, adjustable voltage. WEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOO!!

みんなきっと驚くこと間違いなし！これ、なんと80ポートものUSBポートを内蔵したチャージャーボードなんです。携帯電話、デジカメ、オーディオプレーヤーなどなど。そんなデジタル機器をたくさんお持ちの方には朗報かもしれません！デジタル機器を80個まで充電できるなんて、まるで夢のようじゃないですか？USBの端子が80ポートも並んでいるのを横からみると何か、なんだか軍隊の兵隊さんみたいな感じがして迫力あります。

Unless you run a 'Rent-A-Port' by the minute business (genius) or make something in bulk that needs to be charged before selling, why the hell would you need one of these? Don't get me wrong, I'm still buying two, but that's only because I have 101 Dalmations 160 USB humping dogs and think it would be hysterical to see them all going at it simultaneously. Wouldn't that be funny? You'd watch it on Youtube, right? CHANNEL VIEWS NEED CHANNEL VIEWS.

Product Site
via
Who Needs More USB Ports? [forevergeek]

Thanks to Melissa and Darkwing Duck, who charge things the old fashioned way: with space technology.

Jan 29 2010 Discrimination!: Australia Bans Small Breasts

You know that saying, "more than a mouthful's a waste"? Yeah, me neither. And apparently neither does Australia. The country has decided to ban smaller looking breasts from adult content because of pedo-y concerns.

The ban (RC) on small breasted women in adult publications has been made by the Australian Classification Board allegedly on the grounds that such images could be construed as child pornography, even where those publications comply with American law and keep certification that performers are over 18.

Female ejaculation has been banned on the incredible grounds that "the depictions are a form of urination which is banned under the label of 'golden showers' in the Classification Guidelines" and/or "Female ejaculation is an 'abhorrent' depiction." Notably here male ejaculation is completely legal under the same guidelines, attracting an X rating in Australia.

First of all, breasts of all sizes are awesome. And secondly, what's up with this female ejaculation thing? Talk about a double standard. You outta be ashamed of yourself, Australia! And to think Britain used to use you as a giant penal colony. What happened?

Millions Of Extra Sites To Be Censorsed As Australian Gov. Bans Small Breasts, Female Ejaculation [inquisitr]

Thanks to Korey and Tofu Butcher, who'll take all the breasts they can get, regardless of size or number of nipples.

Jan 27 2010 Wikipedia's Comparison Of Vampire Traits

This is part of a chart comparing the traits of various vampires. As you can see, there's little to no consistency between vampire franchises. This is the appearances chart, but if you go to Wikipedia they also have comparisons of weaknesses, supernatural powers, reproduction and similarities in plot setting. I'm convinced somebody made them with the explicit intention of proving to Twi-hards that they're not in love with a real vampire, just a twinkly little bitch with gorgeous hair. Which, God, that hair.

Tables of vampire traits [wikipedia]

Thanks to Erik, whose devilish good looks put Edward 'Twinkle Toes' Cullen's to shame.

Jan 27 2010 Uh, What?: Taxidermied Mouse Flash Drive

This is a taxidermied mouse with a flash drive wedged up its ass. It reminds me spying days when I made off with a bunch of top secret files from the Pentagon. Except that wasn't a flash drive, it was a stack of 5¼-inch floppies. And let me tell you: based on the way I was walking you would've sworn they were only 3½-inchers. I sashayed out of there like a f***ing runway model!

Hit the jump for a video of the mouse in action (his LED eyes blink during data transfer!).

Continue Reading " Uh, What?: Taxidermied Mouse Flash Drive "

Jan 26 2010 Body Shots!: Body Scan Comparison Of 250 Pound Woman Versus 120 Pound Woman

Looks like the larger of the two just had a fairly significant meal as well. Just sayin', give it a couple hours and she'll only be a 246 pounder. Also, I highly don't recommend it but if you look hard enough I think you can make out their vaginas. So, yeah -- have fun with that.

Body Scans of two Women: 250lb vs 120lb [boredpanda]

Thanks to Jiakasuma, who makes body scans look gooood.

Jan 22 2010 Body Modification: A Window For Your Lip

You know how they say eyes are the windows to the soul? Well apparently a Pyrex plug is the window to your teeth and gums. Who knew?

...presumably refraction of transmitted light explains the visualization of both top and bottom teeth through the plug.

Oh really? Well presumably refraction of transmitted projectile vomit explains the visualization of both puke on my shoes AND desk. Science, baby! (Somebody come clean this mess up).

Lip window [tywkiwdbi]

Thanks to matt, who has a window to his brain. Ooh ooh -- let me see! Not a whole lot going on up here, matt.

Jan 20 2010 Kiss Your Eyes Goodbye, Kids: US Youths Spend Average Of 10:45 A Day Staring At Screens (Television, Computer, Cell Phone)

I can't even believe that. Granted I spend 26 hours a day staring at a computer screen, but I've also already come to grips with not having a life or ever seeing the light of day (I look like a much handsomer Edward Cullen already!). But these kids, they still have hope. Run! Run into the light, little ones!

However, it should be noted that this figure includes multi-tasking (i.e. watching television and working on a laptop simultaneously for an hour counts as 2 hours). The actual figure for singular daily use is 7:30. Jesus, you kids are gonna be blind by the time you're 30! Look at me, I'm living proof. Kidding, kidding -- masturbation. That shit'll get ya.

Youth of America Spend Half Their Waking Hours Staring at Screens [gizmodo]

Jan 19 2010 Ready My Spaceship!: Nepture And Uranus May Have Liquid Diamond Oceans Filled With Solid Diamond Iceburgs!

You read correctly, Earthlings, Neptune and Uranus may have shimmering seas of liquid diamond! With giant diamond icebergs floating around in them. Aaaand I just claimed both planets for my own. I'm gonna be rich as shit you filthy little peasants!

The idea that there are oceans of liquid diamond inside Neptune and Uranus is not a new idea, said Tom Duffy, a planetary scientist at Princeton University. The new Nature Physics article makes diamond oceans "look more and more plausible," said Duffy. More research on the composition of Neptune and Uranus is needed before a truly definitive conclusion can be made, however, and this kind of research is very difficult to conduct.

I dunno. You can read a much more in-depth analysis of the data if you hit the link to the Discovery article, but it all sounds a little bit iffy to me. But is that gonna stop me from flying my spaceship straight through those bitches with my hands out the window? It is not.

Diamond Oceans Possible on Uranus, Neptune [discovery]

Thanks to wes g, who [insert joke about diamonds in Uranus here].

Jan 19 2010 Shred Stick Of The Future: Misa Digital Guitar

Because music is dead and so are the guinea pigs I had as a child, here's a little demo of the Misa Digital Guitar. No, not Miso. That's a Japanese seasoning, silly! And, not to flex my tubular internet muscles or anything, but I can eat a ball of wasabi the size of a large marble without crying or making a funny face.

misa digital guitar running linux kernel 2.6.31.

very fun and mesmerizing to play.

PLEASE NOTE: that "crackling" some people are pointing out is an effect, like a bit crusher effect. It was done on purpose to show how the location of your touch effects the sound. You can apply any control parameter you want to each axis of the touch screen. This instrument is not limited to one type of effect. I personally like the sound, but it is subjective like all music is.

It's actually a pretty cool guitar and if I had any coordination whatsoever I'd be tempted to buy one. But as I stand, WHOA!! *thud*. See, what'd I tell ya?

Official Site
and
Youtube

Thanks to The F'n Jem'Hadar, Andrew, skulley and Martin, who are getting the band back together. And P05TMAN, who always damages my packages.

Jan 18 2010 Video Game Wars: The Informational Graphic

This is a little informational graphic about the different video game consoles. I didn't really bother looking at it for too long because there's a dog biting my leg but I'm sure it's chock-full of interesting facts and figures. Like, uh, women using their WiiMotes to pleasure themselves. I ALWAYS KNEW THEY WERE DOING THAT!
....
....
....Made you sniff! Sicko.

Video Games By The Numbers [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Dan, who's a walking encyclopedia.

Jan 14 2010 In Case You Ever Wondered: What Disney Princesses Look Like Dressed As Villains

Ever wondered what Disney princesses would look like dressed as their villains? WELL WONDER NO MORE MY CARTOON-LOVING COMPADRES! Because they'd look like this. Mystery solved, we can all move on with our lives now. Except me, because now I wanna know what Ursala looks like in Ariel's bikini. YOW YOW, am I right? I am so right.

Disney Princesses As Their Movie Villains [9gag]

Thanks to Alice, who would have made a great Disney Princess.

Jan 11 2010 YOW YOW!: Sexy Star Wars Burlesque Show

Alright champ, your wet dreams have finally come true: Star Wars burlesque. I'd keep writing now but I'm fairly confident you've already hit the jump and stripped your pants off in one awkward flourish. Nice socks.

Hit the jump to see a whole bunch more Boba, Darth and Storm Trooper, along with preview of Leia, C3PO and Jabba (not even kidding) , and the link to the entire 40-pic gallery of them all.

Continue Reading " YOW YOW!: Sexy Star Wars Burlesque Show "

Jan 11 2010 Texts From Last Night: Super Mario Edition

You ever wonder what Mario and the gang do when they get drunk at night? Well now we have some insight into their night lives thanks to these texts. And as you'll read, they do the same things we do! Except for the sex with dinosaurs thing. *wink* Because nobody around here would do anything like that, amirite? *wink* No? CAUSE I WOULD HIT THAT LIKE A DINO-RIDER!

Hit the jump to see some more.

Continue Reading " Texts From Last Night: Super Mario Edition "

Jan 11 2010 Exactly What It Sounds Like: Chick Sleeping With A Dinosaur Toy In The Back Of A Car

Now I know what you're thinking, "What in the hell about this picture warrants a post on Geekologie?" And the answer to that, my friend, is everything. DON'T QUESTION ME! Look -- a cell phone! BOOM, relevance. Oh, and I think we can all agree: that's one lucky girl.

Picture [izismile]

Thanks to gareth and Greg, who would both give their left legs to be that raptor for the remainder of the nap.