Jul 1 2009 eBay: The Ocarina of Time All White Meat

Lucky McDonalds customer 0iz0 just so happened to score the most covered of all chicken strips: the Ocarina of Thigh.

The shining beam of light accompanied by the melodic Zelda jingle blared out of the chicken select treasure box that was handed to me by a late night, tired, acne infested teenage boy as I opened it and discovered what lay in wait for me. Anyone who is a true Zelda fan must get this precious gem of unintentional craftsmanship! It will help you find your Zelda roots, and be just as much of a heroic mastermind as Link! Don't pass this opportunity, for I am certain you will be able to make great music and friends with this golden nugget!

This is your chance to own a piece of history!

Do not eat

*Licking fingers* Sorry, what was that last bit? TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOTLE TOOT!
eBay Auction

Thanks to VinnyC, who just played the Song of Deliciousness.

Jun 25 2009 35,000-Year Old Flute Doesn't Summon Bird

That was a Zelda reference. No need to thank me folks, just doing my job. So scientists have unearthed a 35,000-year old flute in Germany, making it the earliest instrument ever found (not including rocks).

It was made from the bone of a giant vulture during the Upper Paleolithic. Found in Ach Valley, in the south of Germany, the 8.7-inch long, one-inch diameter instrument has five holes, with two V-shaped notches carved on one side of it. This was the part in which the musician put the lips to blow, according to University of Tubingen's professor Nicholas Conard, the lead author of the discovery. The other end is broken just on the fifth hole.

Wait -- but I thought the oldest flute was the one Eve used to play. You know, Adam's. Zing? ZING!

35,000-year-old Flute Is First Instrument Ever [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who is more of a clarinet kind of guy.

Mar 24 2009 Kid Plays Mos Eisley Cantina Song On Harp

This is 12 year old Benjamin playing the iconic song from the Mos Eisley Cantina on a harp. He's pretty good. You know, I always wanted a harp growing up but my parents were too cheap to buy me one. So to spite them, I picked up the skin-flute. *TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOTLE TOOT* Whoa, Link, what are you doing here?

Youtube

Thanks to Tim, who just wants to bang on his drums all day.

Mar 20 2009 The Imperial March Played On A Hard Drive

We've already heard the Imperial March played on an old floppy disk and a Tesla coil, so why not a hard drive? Dum Dum Dum, Dum-te-Dum, Dum-te-Dum. It's like you're really there! You know, in outerspace. Look, there's Darth Vader! Ackkk -- he's force-choking me, quick, somebody take off his helmet! ZOMG -- WTF is that?! Back on, back on!

Youtube

Thanks to the-iguana, who doesn't change colors. That's a chameleon, silly!

Nov 7 2008 iPhone Ocarina App Won't Call Epona, Turn Night Into Day, Warp You Anywhere, Make You Look Cool

The ocarina is an ancient instrument (possibly dating back 12,000 years) that has appeared in Zelda games. Which makes it dear to my heart. And I post all things Zelda on Geekologie. Because I love it that much. You could send me a tip about naming your boner Link and I'd post that shit. I'm honestly that stupid. Anyway, now there's an ocarina application for the iPhone. It's called SMule Ocarina, and it'll set you back a penny short of a buck. You just blow into the phone's mic, push the simulated holes on top, and look like a jackass. But go ahead, play the Song of Time, I dare you. You know what's gonna happen? I'm gonna punch you in the face. I have a real ocarina bitches! TOOT TOOTLE TOOT DOODLE DOOT!

Hit the jump for a video that made me cut myself.

Continue Reading " iPhone Ocarina App Won't Call Epona, Turn Night Into Day, Warp You Anywhere, Make You Look Cool "

Jul 29 2008 PWNSOME!: Zelda Ocarinas For Sale

I know Zelda ocarinas have been available for awhile now, because I bought one at a street fair two years ago, but these ones from ThinkGeek actually look sharp and worth the $40.

Product Features

* Real playable Ocarina lets you re-create your favorite Zelda tunes
* Made from glazed earthenware
* 6 Holes, Plays notes from C4-D5
* Includes song book with instructions on playing several Zelda tunes
* Tri-Force Logo adorns the stem
* Made in the USA

I paid $40 for the one I bought and I'm pretty sure it was made out of Sculptey and had the holes punched through it with different sized pens. And it didn't help the dude was selling it right alongside Zelda themed bongs. Despite my better judgment, I also bought a Goron Bomb Bag Bong. *BOOM!* I'm crunk.

Hit the jump for a closeup and a couple videos of people playing the Song of Time (one kid is even dressed like Link) on an ocarina. If you like it just do a search on Youtube, you can pretty much find every Zelda song covered.

Continue Reading " PWNSOME!: Zelda Ocarinas For Sale "

Jul 9 2008 Steampunk Guitar Looks Good, Pointy

This is a steampunk guitar. It's functional. You may love it. Or you may hate it because you hate everything steampunk. Or you may hate it because your girlfriend cheated on you with a musician. Whatever the case, you either love it or hate it. Or just think it's okay. One of those three. Or, okay, maybe you're indifferent. But definitely one of four. Unless you love it sometimes, hate it others, and don't care the rest. Or if you, I dunno, wow I'm high. Cookie Crisp in chocolate milk for the win.

Hit the jump for another steampunkish guitar. And by "steampunkish" I mean it has a custom pick guard that looks like gears.

Continue Reading " Steampunk Guitar Looks Good, Pointy "

Mar 26 2008 Finger Piano Toy Came With Kid's Magazine

Shougaku Ichinensei, a Japanese magazine for 1st graders, always comes with a special learning toy, and this month it was an awesome Finger Piano. Here's the video. I'm not sure, because it's hard to hear the music over the noise of it being banged against the table, but I think it's someone having a seizure trying to play When the Saints Go Marching In. Still, a fun little gadget, I know I'd be stoked if I was in 1st grade and got something resembling a Power Glove. I mean WTF Highlights? Where were you on this? You didn't come with shit but paper cuts and those damn hidden picture games on the back.

Another video after the jump proving beyond the shadow of a doubt it's practically a fully functional piano you wear on your hand.

Continue Reading " Finger Piano Toy Came With Kid's Magazine "

Dec 6 2007 'Robot Guitar' Doesn't Need You To Tune It

Gibson's Limited Edition First Run of their 'Robot Guitar' drops tomorrow at select locations (10 per store). The guitar tunes itself. That's what it does. It's a self tuning guitar. It's got a little CPU and can tune itself with its "Powerhead Locking Tuners". I couldn't find a price on the bastard, but I didn't try very hard. Someone be a good samaritan and inform everyone of that when you find out. I for one am not really digging the idea of a self tuning guitar. I feel like tuning the damn thing is all part of becoming one with your instrument and being a musician. Can you call yourself a guitarist and not tune your guitar? Can I call myself a sex machine and not know where my penis goes?

Another picture of the robot after the strum.

Continue Reading " 'Robot Guitar' Doesn't Need You To Tune It "

Dec 3 2007 Guitar Hero: Touchscreen & Magnetic Switch

Just last week I posted a guitar modded with an LCD screen, and now a modder that goes by Cyberpyrot has added a touchscreen and magnetic switch to a Guitar Hero III guitar. The touchscreen just shows whateve is on the TV, but since it takes up the space of the normal strum bar he added a magnetic switch under the body so that you play the bitch with a magnetic pick instead! You can also brush you fingers across the screen to control the whammy bar.

The mod took "about 3 days to make, and it wasn't really expensive: $108 for Guitar Hero III, $77 for the LCD, $44 for the touch panel and about $30 for miscellaneous items."

Next the dude wants to add optics to the system so it can play itself. And if there's one thing that's fun about video games it's watching them play themselves while you do jack-shit. Whee!

A couple more pictures after the jam session.

Continue Reading " Guitar Hero: Touchscreen & Magnetic Switch "

Nov 26 2007 Electric Guitar Laptop Mod Is Pretty Sweet

Ben Lewry, a guitar and computer lover, modded a laptop to fit inside an electric guitar. It's called the LCDetar. Which is not the best name, but far better than Guitard. The laptop inside features a trippy music visualization program that responds to whatever you're playing on the guitar. Good job Ben, the thing looks sweet. As a matter of fact, it may be the best laptop mod I've ever seen. Well, except for the ukulele one I made last year. Ho ho, gotcha Ben! Ukulele laptop FTW. Better luck next time buddy.

A couple more pictures and two videos of it in action after the jam session.

Continue Reading " Electric Guitar Laptop Mod Is Pretty Sweet "

Oct 18 2007 Round LCD Screens Designed For Vehicles

After years of development, Toshiba just unveiled their new circular LCD panels. They're approximately 2.5-inches in diameter, sport a 240 x 240 resolution (on the longest lines) and 600:1 contrast ratio. Toshiba believes they'll be utilized for instrument panels in vehicles, along with other mobile devices. "Why?" you ask. "Why not?" Toshiba replies. It looks like a paperweight superimposed on a makeup mirror if you ask me. Not that I know what a makeup mirror is, because I'm all man. I don't wear makeup, I rub my face in pig's blood and eat raw meat. *grunt, grunt* Okay, I'm gay.

Toshiba's new circular LCDs: because your eyes are round [engadget]

Sep 28 2007 Trumpet Harmonica Has Got Monster Bells

The Trumpet Harmonica, made by Hohner, is a very sweet looking harmonica indeed. The full concert octave harmonica accurately reproduces the 1907 original design, and includes five brass bells, to really blow your socks off. Just look at that style. It costs $120, and is tuned to they key of C-major. Did I mention I think it looks awesome? You know, not to toot my own horn (!) or anything, but I once played in a band with Bill Clinton. Yeah, he didn't like me at first. But then I told him I was proud of him for that whole Monica Lewinski thing, and that I cheat on my wife regularly. He gave me a big high five and we shared a moment. Then he offered a cigar, but I politely declined.

The Trumpet Harmonica: Bill Clinton's Favorite Instrument? [uberreview]