Nov 3 2009 The Gift Of Love: A Beating Heart Plushie
Looking for the perfect gift for that special someone? Give them your heart! Well, not your actual heart (unless you know that creepy mother from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). With just a shake this $18 anatomically correct heart from ThinkGeek begins making beating noises and pulsating in your lover's hand! Perfect to sleep with whenever your significant other is out of town. Or in town cheating on you!*
*Tear absorbent
ThinkGeek Product Site
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Plush Beating Heart: Halloween and Valentine's Day All Rolled Up Into One [uberreview]
Oct 27 2009 Delicious Memories: An Awesome 80's Cake
This is an awesome 80's cake that combines elements of this cake, this cake, sort of this cake, and these blue bastards. Really takes you back, doesn't it? I remember watching Smurfs. And I, for one, am not ashamed to admit that I know you had a crush on Smurfette. She's not even your species! Plus blue! *high five*
Hit the jump for closeups of the different elements.
Continue Reading " Delicious Memories: An Awesome 80's Cake "
Oct 23 2009 Indiana Jones Action Figure (Plus Fridge!)
I never saw the new Indiana Jones movie because I prefer my childhood memories un-desecrated, but for those of you that did, and actually liked it, there's this $175 Kingdom of the Crystal Skull action figure. And it comes complete with the lead-lined fridge Indy uses to survive the nuclear blast! What an accessory! Unfortunately, it doesn't come with that fake apple, which is a shame because that was the only reason I was going to buy it. Oh, and why Indy's face looks like an orc from Lord of the Rings is beyond me. That ring belongs in a museum!
Product Site
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Commemorate The Worst Indiana Jones Scene With This Action Figure [nerdapproved]
Thanks to tom and Mark, who like a little lead in their vegetables because they want to be retarded.
Oct 14 2009 Now That's Fine Art: A Coat Hanger Gorilla
Apparently this is old but I don't care because it's the first time I've seen it and if you've seen it before then maybe YOU should have sent it to me earlier. That's right, YOU'RE the one to blame here. Jerk. Anyway, this behemoth was created entirely out of bent coat hangers by Scottish artist David Mach. And I think we can all agree, it speaks volumes. About how, you know, gorillas like to hang from stuff. Get it? Because of the hangers!! God, I slay me.
Coat Hanger Gorilla [reubenmiller]
Thanks to naas, who once Donkey Kong'ed two chicks at once and even though I don't know what that means I'm going to play along like I do. Sweeeet.
Feb 28 2009 Astronomers Photograph the Eye Of God
Finally, a clear shot of God's eye.
The European Organisation for Astronomical Research in the Southern Hemisphere, aka (mercifully) ESO, has released an impressive image of the Helix Nebula captured by La Silla Observatory in Chile.
The nebula, lying at around 700 light-years away in the constellation of Aquarius, has quickly been dubbed the "Eye of God", for obvious reasons.
I've got news for you folks: this is not, in fact, God's real eye. How do I know? Well you remember in Raiders of the Lost Ark when the Germans finally opened the Ark of the Covenant? What happened? Precisely -- ghosts and shit flew out and shot through their stupid Nazi faces and killed them all. That one dude even melted. So, you still alive? Exactly.
Stargazers peer into the 'Eye of God' [theregister]
Thanks to Tim, who knows the true eye of God burns like a laserbeam.
Feb 3 2009 Dinosaurs Running Loose In Indiana
That's right folks, apparently a truckload of raptors got loose in Hamilton County, Indiana, and drivers are being unsurprisingly stupid.
"It's kind of crazy. I'm totally confused," said one motorist. "I'm kind of expecting ... dinosaurs to run down the road, or something."
Only in my dreams, stupid motorist, only in my dreams.
'Raptors Ahead' Sign Gets Stares, Chuckles [theindychannel]
Thanks to Jeff, who got my hopes up and then crushed them like Piggy under a boulder.
Jan 6 2009 Mmmm, Geeky Deliciousness: A Cake Gallery
As you may know, we love themed cakes here at Geekologie. Love them, love them. A lot. I mean we REALLY love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love them. I guess what I'm getting at is this: I got a little too drunk and had relations with the cake at my son's 6th birthday party. My God, you should have seen the looks of horror on all those little faces.
Hit the jump for a ton more awesomeness, including some wicked Star Wars action, a badass Super Mario Galaxy cake, and an Apple pie.
Continue Reading " Mmmm, Geeky Deliciousness: A Cake Gallery "
Nov 12 2008 WMDs: Death By Great Flaming Balls
So the Pentagon is employing a new weapon in the fight against WMDs. Namely, giant flaming balls (aka rocket balls).
These are hollow spheres, made of rubberized rocket fuel; when ignited, they propel themselves around at random at high speed, bouncing off the walls and breaking through doors, turning the entire building into an inferno. The makers call them "kinetic fireball incendiaries." The Pentagon doesn't want to talk about them, but published documents show that the fireballs have undergone tests on underground bunkers.
WTF!? Suffice it to say the Indiana Jones franchise would have ended 15 minutes into Raiders of the Lost Ark if the ancient Peruvians had employed a rocket ball instead of a giant freaking rock.
Click the article for a much longer explanation of the the weapons.
Secret Rocket Balls Target WMD Bunkers [wired]
Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who even giant flaming balls can't kill.
May 19 2008 Questionable: Huge LEGO Indiana Jones Boulder Rolled Down Hill In San Francisco
This is allegedly a 5 million piece LEGO boulder being rolled down a hill in San Francisco. I find it hard to believe it's solid and 5 million pieces because it seems pretty light. But who knows, stranger things have happened (my penis once fell off in the shower after I scrubbed it with a loofah). So these guys roll this big-ass LEGO boulder down a hill while some guy dressed loosely as Indiana Jones runs in front of it (and another in a fez that may or may not be Sallah makes bad commentary). Eventually the boulder bounces off a tree and stops after hitting a parked van. Now we could bicker back and forth all day long whether or not this is fake, so for the sake of argument we'll just agree that it should have been a lot cooler.
UPDATE: Turns out the boulder is styrofoam in the middle. FAIL. Thanks Detective Steph.
Thanks to Altaire, who could train horses to make more realistic LEGO boulders
Apr 9 2008 Indiana Jones Figures Are Cute, Big Headed
These are two Indiana Jones (well one Indiana, one Henry) figures available from PansonWorks. Each costs $30 and would look awesome on my bookshelf. Damn, I just love that Indiana. I was so inspired by the movies that I actually took an archaeology course in college. I had to pay a $60 lab fee, which I assumed was for a fedora and a freaking bullwhip. Wrong! I got a crappy little pick and brush. Talk about a let down. There was no temple of doom, no last crusading, just a horrible damn professor that stared off into space when lecturing. I egged his house after he failed me.
A picture of PansonWorks Street Fighter figures (also $30), just for the halibut, after the jump
Continue Reading " Indiana Jones Figures Are Cute, Big Headed "
Mar 25 2008 Wooden Knuckles Are One Size Fits Most, Made Of Wood, Not Metal Or Glass Silly!
These wooden knuckles are made of walnut and cost $40. Why you'd buy them is a mystery to me, because if you're not going to dip your gluey hand in a barrel of broken glass before a fist fight then you're a sissy. Say, these remind me of that time in Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indiana was chasing after Marion because she was being kidnapped in a basket when some dude with a sword jumped out of the crowd to try and stop him. There dude was, swinging his sword around and shit, and you know what Indy did? Indy just shot that mother. "Bad dates!" Damn I love that movie. If the new one sucks I'm hanging myself.
Wooden Knuckles [notcot]
Jan 28 2008 Indiana Jones Home Theater Looking Okay
I would actually consider this "Indiana Jones" themed home theater more of an "Egyptian themed" home theater with some Indiana Jones props strewn about, but whatever. It's still way badder-ass than my theater, which is a pair of binoculars I use to watch my neighbor's television.
That being said, the movie props they have are pretty cool, including the golden idol from Raiders. You know what pissed me off about that? That Indy replaced the idol with a damn bag of sand. That thing had to weigh way more than a freaking bag of sand. Man that made me angry. And then when the monkey died because it ate a poisoned date? That was pretty upsetting too -- until you realized it was in with the Nazis and deserved to die. But how about that line by Sallah? He catches it, points to the monkey and says "Bad dates." F***ing classic! And speaking of bad dates, I went on one over the weekend. What made it so bad you ask? Take a wild guess. Yep, she had a penis. It was way bigger than mine. It happened again. I swear, eHarmony sucks.
A ton more pictures of the theater's movie props, after the whip-crack.
Continue Reading " Indiana Jones Home Theater Looking Okay "
Jan 4 2008 Buy: Indiana Jones LEGO Sets Now Available
The Indiana Jones LEGO sets just went on sale, and I must say: I love Indiana Jones and LEGO! There I said it, the cat is out of the grocery bag. I know what you're thinking -- so do you! That is so rad, we should totally get together sometime and have a big ol' Indiana Jones party and build LEGO sets at the same time. My favorite is the Last Crusade. Yeah I would totally do the blonde chick in it, but I'd have to kill her right afterwards because she's a Nazi. You like the one where the guy gets chopped up in the plane's propeller? Me too! Yes, yes, and the one with the guy who pulls your heart out of your chest -- another great one! So icky. He makes Indy drink that blood out of the skull and it makes him go all batshit crazy and he bitchslaps Short Round. So good. Oh my god, I thought the sacred rock looked like a loaf of bread too!
A few more pictures after the jump, but hit the link at the end to see all the sets available.
Continue Reading " Buy: Indiana Jones LEGO Sets Now Available "
Aug 8 2007 Indiana Jones Lego Game
I thought being married to a supermodel was my dream come true, but I would kick her to the curb with not so much as bus fare to get my hands on this puppy. I called up LucasArts and offered a cool million to get a copy before the end of THIS summer (it's not dropping until Summer 2008), but they told me it just couldn't be done. While I had them on the phone I suggested they replace the traditional Indiana Jones look with a naked picture of me to boost sales to beautiful ladies. I think it was sometime during that pitch when they hung up on me. And blocked my calls. And filed charges.
Indiana Jones Lego Game [Lucas Arts]
