Nov 20 2009 Holy Grail? You Decide: A Bacon Chalice
I can't even imagine weaving bacon so tight as to not let liquid (well, molten cheese) through, but apparently somebody did. My hat oven mitts are off to you, bacon mug maker. Cause one time I tried weaving bacon and it didn't even make a solid placemat. It did, however, make a solid after-school snack. Kidding, I'm vegetarian. Did you feel that? That was your head imploding.
Bacon Beer Mug [thisisfreakingridiculous]
Thanks to Profound, mike469x, Dominican Joe, Freedom and KilgoreTrout XL, one of which is Kurt Vonnegut's plus-size alter-ego, the other three of which are fighting over who gets to eat the cup.
Nov 19 2009 Modern Warfare 2 Crybaby's Music Video
NOTE: Video slightly NSFW due to adult language from a blimey 14-year old.
You ever wonder what else is going on in the world of a kid who will cry and punch the wall about a video game not living up to his expectations? Apparently a budding music career. And by budding I mean rotting. On the vine. You will never sell those tomatoes! Still, I did find myself kind of bobbing my head from 1:15 - 1:30 (the best part, plus I'm so high I feel like I'm typing with claws). But don't say his name -- he'll knock you out! Probably with rotten-tooth breath. BRING IT NANCY!
GuitarJono1170's Youtube Channel (with a ton of other crappy videos)
Thanks to Matt, who knifed this kid in Modern Warfare 2 and had him crying for days.
Nov 18 2009 I Like: Geekologie Reader's Mario Animation
This is a 'Pulp Fiction' styled Mario animation that Geekologie Reader Jeremie made. It is most impressive and has restored my faith in Geekologie Readers. For awhile there I was worried you were just a bunch of no-talent FIRST!ing ass-hats. So yeah -- thanks Jeremie, I needed that. *removes laser blaster from mouth*
Thanks to Jeremie, whose starcoin-purse is the one that says 'bad mother f***er' on it.
Nov 17 2009 Bomb-Proof Wallpaper: But Is It Wolf-Proof?
Berry Plastics and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers teamed up to develop X-Flex, a wallpaper with woven Kevlar strong enough to prevent bomb blasts from blowing all your shit up. Nice, but is it Big Bad Wolf proof? That mother can huff and puff!
X-Flex works so well that the armed forces are considering redecorating its army bases in Iraq and Afghanistan with the stuff. And, mindful of the commercial value, Berry Plastics is considering manufacturing a version for civilians
There's a video of the guys at Popular Science hitting the paper with a wrecking ball after the jump, which, at least according to my code of testing, didn't prove anything. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BOMB PROOF, WHO CARES IF IT'S WRECKING BALL PROOF? No, if you want real bomb-proof safety, you need to buy my anti-bomb bombs. Basically, when a bomb detonates it sets these ones off and the explosions are equal but different and everything is gravy. Trust me, I know fisics.
Hit it for the video.
Continue Reading " Bomb-Proof Wallpaper: But Is It Wolf-Proof? "
Nov 16 2009 Gnarly: Two Kite Surfers Jump British Pier
Two extreme sporters used particularly gusty winds today to fulfill their live's dreams: to jump Worthing Pier in West Sussex, England, on kite-boards. It's time to dream bigger, brahs!
Jake Scrace, 25, and Lewis Crathern, 24, had been planning Monday morning's jump for three years but had to wait for perfect weather conditions.
They took off from Goring to the west side of Worthing in gusts of wind that were more than 40mph, and had two helpers on the beach. The pair said the jump was quite hazardous and should not be attempted by amateurs.Mr Crathern said the jump was "epic".
"It was everything I've lived for - amazing," he said.
Everything you've lived for, nice. And here I've been living to destroy my body with booze and die young. But, you know, jumping over a pier with a kite, that's something too. *snicker* Pussies.
Two kite surfers jump over pier [bbcnews]
Thanks to And and 2MechanicalArms, one of which may or may not be a robot.
Nov 14 2009 Impressive: 300,000 Birds Perform Air Ballet
I have no idea who the hell can tell that's 300,000 birds, but I'm running with it. And by running I mean flying. Just like those birds. Except less graceful. But equally naked! Think of me as like the Eleventh Plague of Egypt, if the Eleventh Plague of Egypt were a naked man standing on the roof flapping his arms. I'm coming for you, Pharoah! *caw caw!*
It's a bird! It's a cloud! It's a bird cloud [yahoobuzz]
Nov 14 2009
The Million Dollar Man With The Bionic Ass
Ged Gavin, 55, has a bionic ass and doesn't care who knows. Which is good because I definitely just texted everyone in my phone. And by texted I mean sexted. All the kids are doing it. What? Yes I'd jump off a bridge!
Mr Galvin suffered massive internal injuries and had to be fitted with a colostomy bag until surgeons at the Royal London Hospital could perform the complex operation to rebuild his bottom.
The medical team took a muscle from above his knee, wrapped it around his sphincter, and then attached electrodes to the nerves.These are now operated by a palm-sized remote control that he carries in his pocket.
"They call me the man with the bionic bottom, but that doesn't bother me. My gratitude to the surgeons is endless because what they have done is a miracle."
Colostomy bag or a bionic ass, that's a tough call. I'd probably opt for a bullet in my head. Kidding, suicide is never the answer. Unless you're my ex-wife, in which case it totally is.
Man uses remote to control his 'bionic bottom' [telegraph]
Thanks to Ross, who uses a remote control to chew but is starving because he lost the thing in a couch.
Nov 13 2009 Computer Graphics: Motherboard Mona Lisa
This is a recreation of Da Vinci's 'Mona Lisa' made entirely out of motherboard parts (plus a frame). It sits in the ASUS headquarters in Peitou, Taiwan and is almost half as good looking as the motherboard 'Starry Night' I made. Which I just so happen to be selling for $10 million. If you're interested shoot me an email and I'll start smashing every desktop in this computer lab ship it out as soon as the check clears.
Two closeups after the jump.
Continue Reading " Computer Graphics: Motherboard Mona Lisa "
Nov 6 2009 Geekologie Reader Snaps Shot Of Moon Dog
I'm not going to lie to you (although I usually do), I had no idea what a moon dog was when Geekologie Reader em_kay11 sent me this picture (high-res version HERE) of one he took early Wednesday morning. Per Wikipedia:
A moon dog or moondog (scientific name paraselene, plural paraselenae, i.e. "beside the moon") is a relatively rare bright circular spot on a lunar halo caused by the refraction of moonlight by hexagonal-plate-shaped ice crystals in cirrus or cirrostratus clouds. Moondogs appear to the left and right of the moon 22° or more distant. They are exactly analogous to sun dogs, but are rarer because to be produced the moon must be bright and therefore full or nearly full. Moondogs show little color to the unaided eye because their light is not bright enough to activate the color photoreceptors in humans.
Cool, a moondog! Can we keep it, daddy? Can we pleaaaase? I'll feed it and walk it every day. And if it ever moon-cheeses on the carpet I promise I'll clean it up and spray the area real good with pet odor-neutralizer and everything. No? Well how about a reptile? I like turtles.
Thanks em_kay11, now how about a mooncat?
Nov 6 2009 Impressive: Hasbro Star Wars Diorama Contest
Unbeknownst to me Hasbro has been holding a Star Wars diorama contest. This is a sample of one of the finalists titled 'Captain Solo Awaits His Fate in the Carbon Freezing Chamber'. I would have gone with 'Hey, You Said This Place Was a Strip Club', but whatever. Hit the jump to see the rest of Han getting frozen and the four other finalists. Then, go vote if you want to. Or don't, it's no skin off my back. But I do wish it was the skin off my pudding, because I can't stand that shit. WHICH IS WHY I NORMALLY STICK TO SNACK PACKS. *ahem* Mom.
Hit the jump for a bunch more diorama.
Continue Reading " Impressive: Hasbro Star Wars Diorama Contest "
Nov 4 2009 How To: Open A Wine Bottle Sans Corkscrew
Ever needed to open a bottle of wine but didn't have a corkscrew? Apparently all you need a shoe and something rock hard. LIKE MY ASS ABS ASS. Alternatively, break the top off and chug the whole bottle. I mean, unless you're cool being a sissy boy. Trust me, manliest way to drink wine. AND THERE AREN'T MANY.
MacGyvered Inebriation: Guy Opens Wine Bottle With Shoe [uberreview]
Oct 29 2009 DO WANT: This Giant Freaking Treehouse
Where was this when I was growing up? Not in my backyard, that's where! I did have a Cabbage Patch Kids playhouse though, so there. And you know what? There was a wasp nest in the roof, but did that stop this future blogger from playing house? HELL NO IT DIDN'T.
Well, if you did find yourself fancying your childhood treehouse as the world's greatest, you may find yourself having to think again after getting to see the treehouse Horrace Burgess has built around Crossville in the United States state of Tennessee.
You start to appreciate the greatness of the treehouse Horrace Burgess has built when the figures are brought in. Standing at 97 feet in height, one agrees that the structure Horrace Burgess has built is the structure to beat, if you want to lay a claim to owning (or even having seen) thegreatest treehouse in the world.
Impressive, Horrace, but where's the 'No gurlz allowd' sign? And don't EVEN tell me you let females in that thing. THAT IS BREAKING THE SACRED BOND OF TREEHOUSE OWNERSHIP. Punishable by, um, letting me crash there for a week month. Come on, I'll eat your squirrel problem!
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures and the link to even more.
Oct 29 2009 Uh-Oh: Another Little Running, Jumping Robot
ROPID is a little robot created by Robo Garage (burn it down with an oily rag!) whose name combines the words 'robot' and 'rapid'. Very clever. Or should I say vever? I'm gonna stick with very clever. Anyway, this is a video of ROPID showing off his moves at a press conference. He (sometimes) responds to voice commands and can run (which technically isn't running, just walking fast), dance and jump. Plus look kinda cute. There, I said it -- just because you hate something with all your heart doesn't mean you can't find it beautiful. Take Edward Cullen for example.
ROPID Can Jump And Run, Almost [botjunkie]
Thanks to partychancer, fabian, Xkrimeg, Richthegringo, Harsh and Mira, who aren't ashamed to admit they've thought about what it would be like to be with a robot romantically. Bad move, guys -- burn them at the stake!
Oct 22 2009 I'm A Ninja, I Can Do That: Crazy Trampolining
This is a video of Oli Lemieux doing some wild ass trampolining plus wall walking and other ninja-y stuff while practicing for a Cirque du Soleil show. It's pretty cool but I could do it all twice as good but I would never film it because I'm modest. Also, the most handsome man on the planet.
Thanks to The Gurr, MoD, Asbo and Jennie, who once jumped so high on a trampoline they showed up on radar and the government shot missiles at them.
Oct 22 2009 Impressive: Ghostbusters Theme Multi-Track
This is a video of a curly haired (and sometimes shirtless) Matt Mulholland performing the Ghostbusters theme song by combining 14 separate tracks of him making noises. Now I know we've already seen examples of multi-tracking before, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night, know what I'm saying? I'm saying there was blood on the mattress and they wouldn't give me a discount. Pay me, Marriott.
Thanks to Edd, who sleeps in the car on long road trips to save money.
Oct 21 2009 Stop Motion Of Papercraft Link Construction
This is a little stop motion video of a papercrafter constructing a Link model. The model is amazing, and so is the build, so you should check it out. But you shouldn't check out library books that will get you blacklisted. Or women on the street. BECAUSE I AM AGAINST THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN. Women are people too, you know. Except those crazy bodybuilding ones. They're wild animals.
Thanks to Jessica, who once made a papercraft model of the Geekologie Writer and then burn it as an effigy. Gee, thanks.
Oct 20 2009 I'd Wear Them: Nikes Made Out Of Junk
Gabriel Dishaw is an artist who works primarily in the medium of junk. Like rusty metal sprockets and nuts and bolts. And among other sculptures, he creates shoes with these things.
This piece was a continuation of my previous piece JUNK DUNK (Right) I wanted to attempt this approach again, with a more refined and detailed outcome. I used very little wire and more glue to keep the piece more clean, and less bulky. I also added new details, a hinged tongue and nike logo's on both the tongue and back of the shoe. On previous models I used a real nike sole to build of off. With this piece I started from scratch and build the sole from circuit boards.
Impressive, Gabriel. But there is no doubt in my mind I could dunk in these things. And I don't care if they do cut off all my toes off and give me tetanus -- I don't like standing or talking anyways! I'm more of a lie down and type kind of guy anyways. What? YES I'M STILL IN BED.
Hit the jump for a bunch more shots plus three other Nike models Gabriel has created.
Oct 20 2009 Fight!: Mortal Kombat Vs. Donkey Kong
This is a short video of Scorpion from Mortal Kombat playing Donkey Kong. I don't want to ruin it for you so I'll just tell you a funny story instead. I went to the zoo last week and saw two tortoises going at it. I was gonna stick around to watch because I'm a pervert but they were taking foreeeeever. THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WIN RACES.
Thanks to naas, who, GET OVER HERE! I'm serious, I need a hug.
Oct 18 2009 You People Are So Skilled!: Geekologie Reader Makes Piranha Plant B-Day Cake
Young Geekologie Reader Chris helped design and build a Super Mario Piranha Plant birthday cake for his younger brother's 10th birthday. I call the head!
My mom, her name is Kathrine if you care to know, has always been big into making splendiferous cakes for me and my brother on our birthdays. This year for my brother's 10th, she went all out and learned how to use fondant and whatnot and we made him a Piranha Plant cake. I had to help out, as she had little knowledge of the reference material, and me, her and my grandmother put it together for him. He was so happy he didn't even notice his presents.
I've been a longtime reader, as has been my mother (she got me started reading) and it would be awesome to see you put this up, or even to just have you tell me what you think.
Did you just read that? It said Chris's mother got him started reading Geekologie. Is that not the most beautiful thing ever? It is. And if you even think about calling child services and costing me a reader I WILL MURDER YOU. Happy Sunday! Seriously, I will murder you.
Hit the jump for one more shot of the birthday boy and cake and a link to the Flickr gallery with some build shots.
Continue Reading " You People Are So Skilled!: Geekologie Reader Makes Piranha Plant B-Day Cake "
Oct 17 2009 DO WANT: Full-Body Leather Lion Armor
This is a full set of leather armor created by DeviantARTist Azmal. As you can see, it is bad to the ass and I would be proud to rock it into battle any day (except Saturdays, I drink beer on Saturdays). En garde! RAAAAAWR!
Made entirely from leather and nickel finished hardware. Production time was about 3 weeks with the help of a couple friends. Chris and George.
Consists of:
Lion Head Helmet
Articulated Gorget
Breast and Back Plate w/ Overlays
Pauldrons with Heraldic Rampant Lions
Full Arms: Rerebrace, Vambrace, Elbow & Guard
Claw Gauntlets
Tassets
Front Skirting
Full Legs: Cuisses, Knee Cop & Guard, demigreives & full grieves, and sabbatons
All with tons of claws and block dyed tooled borders.
Don't you wish we still lived in a time where you could slap a guy with your gauntlet without fear of him shooting you? I mean, whatever happened to good old fashioned dueling? Also, fair maidens and dragons and all that. Man, the 2000's suuuck.
Thanks to sham, who once slayed a dragon with nothing but her willpower.
