Sep 2 2009 Silent But Violent: Students Made Gas Detector
Two college students went and made a fart detector. Nice one guys, but I can honestly say I never made anything like this in college. ALL I MADE WERE STRAIGHT C's AND LOVE TO WOMEN. Ooooooh!
I'm sure the two Cornell computer engineering students who made it are quite bright, and combining a hydrogen sulfide monitor, a thermometer, a microphone and custom software was impressive.
Um, no. You see, I don't know if you knew this or not but God gave us all our own fart detectors. Take a big whiff. Does it smell like ass? Congratulations, you shat yourself.
Fart detector solves a problem I've never encountered [dvice]
Apr 30 2009 Highly Questionable, Volatile: Robot Milk
I have no idea what the hell robot milk is (likely poison), but it looks thicker than the BBW in my fetish mag. Also, how the hell does one go about procuring robot milk? Because if it's anything like milking a bull, the The Superficial Writer wants in.
Robot Milk [friggingrandom]
Thanks to Bo, who once milked a goat and then made goat cheese and sold it at a farmer's market. Good looking, Bo.
Apr 30 2009 Dead Bugs + Old Watch Parts = 'Cybugs'
Mike Libby is a Maine-based artist who glues old watch parts on dead bugs to create steampunk looking insects. Which actually seem pretty cool until you realize that this is what robots will really look like in a few years. True story: one time I let a beetle crawl into my ear just to know what it would feel like. Unfortunately, it burrowed into my head (not unlike a Ceti eel) and I had to brain myself with an ice pick to get it out. If you couldn't tell, that was a pickup line. Ladies?
The artist, who holds a degree in sculpture from the Rhode Island School of Design, says his Insect Lab began after he found a dead, intact beetle. He thought the bug looked and operated like a little mechanical device, and decided to combine the two in a statement about the similarities and contradictions between nature and technology.
And speaking of statements about the similarities and contradictions between nature and technology: I just zip-tied a laser pointer to my penis. Now -- who wants to see some REAL art?
Hit the jump for a bunch more, including a ROFLCOPTER.
Apr 29 2009 Highly Questionable: No Wash Boxers
No Wash boxers were designed by 29-year old medical student Rob Libfeld who claims he came up with the idea when he noticed how embarrassed patients in the hospital were of their soiled, all white underwear. As you can see, the $13 drawls are all yellow in the front and brown in the back, so you can piss and shit to your incontinent heart's content with little to no visible embarrassment. However, there will still be a smell, so be sure to look around quizzically to expel any blame.
No wash underwear hides stains, not odours [newslite]
Thanks James, and remember: he who protested it, foam-crested it.
Apr 21 2009 Boston Dynamics: Possibly My Biggest Enemy
Boston Dynamics, purveyor of such hellhounds of the robot apocalypse as BigDog, LittleDog, and BullDog, are back at it, this time at the opposite end of the spectrum: robotic bugs called Squishbots.
SquishBot is a program to develop a new class of soft, shape-changing robot. The goal is to design systems that can transform themselves from hard to soft and from soft to hard, upon command. Another goal is to create systems that change their critical dimensions by large amounts, as much as 10x. Such robots will be like soft animals that can squeeze themselves through small openings and into tight places.
Okay, I want to see a show of hands of who's cool with a robotic centipede burrowing in their ass. Now, everyone look around the room. You see the people with their hands raised? Perverts. The worst kind too: roboboners.
Terrifying robot image of the day: Boston Dynamics' SquishBot [bbgadgets]
Thanks to Greg, who once found a robotic silverfish trying to climb into his ear at night so it could read his mind. Thankfully, Greg huffs Raid and had a can by the bed.
Mar 16 2009 Real Life Spider-Man: Paralyzed Man Walks Again Thanks To Brown Recluse Spider Bite
David Blancarte lost the use of his legs nearly 21 years ago in a motorcycle accident. And now, thanks to the bite of brown recluse, he can walk again.
I'm here for a spider bite. I didn't know I would end up walking," says David.
A nurse noticed David's leg spasm and ran a test on him. "When they zapped my legs, I felt the current, I was like 'whoa' and I yelled," he says. He felt the current and the rush of a renewed sense of hope. "She says,'your nerves are alive. They're just asleep'," explained David.Five days later David was walking.
David basks in his glory and gives a ray of hope to other hoping to walk again. The 48-year-old former boxer and dancer is taking it in stride, knowing his best days are still ahead.
David's dream is to see his 14-year-old twin daughters grow up and get married so he can walk them down the aisle and have that first dance.
Well ain't that some cockle-warming Peter Parker/John Locke shit! To tell you the truth, I haven't been having much luck with my manhood lately, and I did see a black widow out by my treefort yesterday....
IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!!!
UPDATE: And it just fell off. Great.
Hit the jump for a news report video for those of you who can't read.
Mar 2 2009 Woman Finds Old Nokia In Bag Of Chips
Somebody's mother in Wisconsin found an old Nokia 6810 in a bag of freshly opened Clancy's Ripples. Wow, people actually still rock those old brick phones? Yes, people who work in potato chip factories do.
The phone, which didn't work, was slathered with "greasy potato-chip film" and looked like it once lived on a belt clip. "You kind of don't want chips for a while" after something like that, she said. Schweiger isn't sure what she'll do next but hopes the FDA can track down the owner of the phone.
She's glad she found the phone and not a child who might have put it in his or her mouth, she said. She's also glad the phone wasn't in a product she would have heated, she said. Schweiger doesn't know when she'll have an appetite for potato chips again, but when she does, she'll do things a little differently."I will never, ever eat chips out of a bag again," she said. "They will be dumped in the bowl."
Wow, could you be any less grateful? You opened a bag of chips, found a prize, and then complained about it. Congratulations, you just won the lottery! "I dunno, I'm starting to wish I'd picked different numbers...." Seriously though, are you gonna eat those?
This Bag Of Clancy's Ripple Potato Chips Needs More Nokia Phones [consumerist]
Thanks to ray and twellve, who each found a pager in a bag of steamed vegetables and were happy about it.
Dec 10 2008 Pervert Inventor Le Trung Still Working On Building Robot Girlfriend, Wasting Money
Remember Le Trung? The last time we saw him he was busy groping his robotic lover. Well not much has changed in the interim: he's still going strong, perfecting "fem-bot" Aiko to be his wife.
Inventor Le Trung, 33, created Aiko, said to be "in her 20s" with a stunning 32, 23, 33 figure, shiny hair and delicate features.
Pfft, she's not a day over 14 you sick bastard.
"So far she can understand and speak 13,000 different sentences in English and Japanese, so she's already fairly intelligent. "When I need to do my accounts, Aiko does all the maths. She is very patient and never complains."He said he did not build Aiko as a sexual partner, but said she could be tweaked to become one. "Her software could be redesigned to simulate her having an orgasm and reacting to touch as if she is playing hard to get or being straight to the point," he said.
Sex. With. A. Robot. *HORF*
"Fem-bot" Aiko, who has cost £14,000 (~$21,000) to build so far, is a whizz at maths and even does Le's accounts.Le, a scientific genius from Brampton in Ontario, Canada, said he never had time to find a real partner so he designed one using the latest technology.
Scientific genius my ass. Scientific geniuses don't blow twenty grand building robotic girlfriends. No, scientific geniuses build rocketships to blast off into space and f*** aliens. This is the word of The Geekologie Writer. Amen.
One more of the cute couple after the jump.
Nov 21 2008 Wrong, Just Wrong: World's Worst Cookbook
This is the world's worst cookbook. It's called Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes. I just puked in my mouth a little.
Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!
The 61-page cookbook costs $25 and looks like a joke. So I put one in my shopping cart and proceeded to the checkout waiting for some sort of April Fool's notification. Nope, I just ordered a jizz cookbook.
Product Page (which, if you go to you can actually use the little picture on the left to look through some of the book. Which I totally didn't do.
Thanks to Julian, who invited me over for dinner. NOM NOM NOM!
Oct 14 2008 Oops: Possible Mistake On Walmart's Website
This is a screencap from Walmart's Canadian website for Summer's Eve Feminine Spray Ultra - Extra Strength. As you can see, it's applied with a pressure washer. I actually went to the website and the picture was still there, but there wasn't a description of the product. But, FAKE! or not, I think we can all agree that you'd have to be growing psychedelic mushrooms in your vagina to need this shit.
Uh... [baldheretic]
Thanks to Jenny, The Bloggess, who allegedly knows a woman that has to douche with a firehose.
Sep 24 2008 Yikes!: A Creepy Pinhole Camera Skull
This pinhole camera was made out of a skull by artist Wayne Martin Belger, mwho may or may not dress entirely in black and scrawl pentagrams on the floor of his apartment in virgin's blood.
This work entitled Third Eye, a study of "the beauty of decay," uses precious metals like titanium and silver to expose the memory of time onto film, sheering the 150 year old skull of a 13 year old girl.
Wow, it doesn't get much creepier than that. Well, unless the skull still had a jawbone and said "Say cheese!" Jesus, I just gave myself goosebumps.
Hit the jump to see a scary picture taken with the thing.
Sep 4 2008 37 Prisoners Caught Hiding Cell Phones In Their Bodies, 7 Require Surgery To Retrieve
In a story that harks back to Captain Sneakapeak and the case of the missing cameraphone, comes this story. 37 Pakistani prisoners at Camp Jail were found to be hiding cell phones in their bodies. All but seven were easily removed. The seven that didn't come out so easily were all smart phones. Those required surgery. Read: removal of the asshole. Just kidding, I don't know what they did. What I do know is I'm starting to get worried why my Bluetooth headset and charger haven't passed yet.
7 Prisoners undergo surgery to remove mobile phones from their butts [newlaunches]
Thanks to Silver Sided, who knows a guy who once snuck an entire phonebooth into jail.
Jul 16 2008 Tempest Storm, Born 1928, Still Stripping
Tempest Storm was born in 1928 by some other name and was stripping by 1950. And guess what -- she's still at it. And, oh, I just puked a little.
"I don't just get up there and rip my clothes off," she says.Indeed, the 80-year-old burlesque queen takes her clothes off very slowly.
Her act is a time capsule. She knows nothing of poles. She would never put her derriere in some man's face. Her prop of choice is a boa, perhaps the occasional divan.
It takes four numbers, she says adamantly, four numbers to get it all off. To do it classy.
I disagree Tempest, three minutes is about all the class I can stand. Anyway, the geriatric Storm claims she dated Elvis and regularly danced for the likes of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Mickey Rooney, Nat King Cole, and The Geekologie Writer's great-grandfather. Okay, the puke dribble has developed into a full fledged projectile vomit, so I'm gonna have to wrap things up here with another quote.
Oh my God, I'm emptying my whole stomach.
Ha, I quoted myself. Hit the jump for two more pictures, but a warning: one is from the back (waist up) and shows her in her stripping outfit. It's definitely suitable for work, but not for a mere mortal's eyes. You have been warned. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I WARNED YOU. WARNING, WARNING! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! F*** it, lose your sight, I don't care.
Hit it if you're cool with blindness.
Continue Reading " Tempest Storm, Born 1928, Still Stripping "
Jun 5 2008 'Modern Toilet' Restaurant Sounds Awesome
As a man who frequently blogs and eats his lunch on the john, I know all about the benefits of canning your food (!). And now there's a restaurant in Taiwan that is cashing in on what I've known for years -- eating on the throne is the shit (!).
Patrons sit on toilets for seats and eat food off covered sinks and bathtubs. The food is served in a mini-toilet bowls and patrons drink out of mini travel potties. To finish the atmosphere, toilet paper is provided in the place of napkins.
"It's really unusual, so special that it doesn't gross me out," said Betty Tsai, 16, a Taipei high school sophomore trying Modern Toilet for the first time on a friend's recommendation.But for a few customers, the toilet humor is too much. "My son thought it was disgusting and didn't know if he could finish his food," said Taipei mother Lin Li-ju.
Wow, Lin Li-ju, it sounds like your son has a problem. Namely that he was born with a vagina and doesn't know how to appreciate the finer things in life. Seriously, if I had one of those oldschool TV-dinner stands I don't think I'd ever leave the bathroom. So yeah, I once saw a little kid at Home Depot urinate in one of the unplumbed toilets they had on display. I wonder if they have similar problems here. Well, my legs are going numb, time to get up.
Several more pictures and a video news report about the place, after the jump.
Continue Reading " 'Modern Toilet' Restaurant Sounds Awesome "
May 27 2008 Finger-Regrowing 'Pixie Dust' Is At It Again
Remember the story we posted about the man who regrew the tip of his finger after having it cut off in a model airplane propeller? Yeah, that guy totally shouldn't have been allowed to work in a hobby store. Well now the infamous "pixie dust" is being used again -- this time in an attempt to regrow a soldier's finger that was lost in a bomb attack.
A key to the research dedicated to regrowing fingers and other body parts is a powder, nicknamed "pixie dust" by some of the people at Brooke Army Medical Center. It's made from tissue extracted from pigs.The surgery is part of a major new medical study of "regenerative medicine" being pursued by the Pentagon and several of the nation's top medical facilities, including the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center and the Cleveland Clinic. So far nearly $250 million has been dedicated to the research.
Awesome. I guess the only remaining question I have about this treatment is this: How ethical is it to cut off you junx and hope to regrow a bigger one?
Salamander-inspired therapy may aid injured vets [cnn]
Go here if you want to watch a graphic video about the procedure.
Thanks Patrick, lets steal Tinkerbell's fairy dust so we can fly
May 27 2008 Unacceptable: This Freaking Keyboard
Wow, and I thought my roommate's Cheeto and pube keyboard was bad. He's got nothing on this guy. It looks like he's trying to burn his house down. Hrrm, let's dive deeper into the mind of the psychopath behind this epic grossness by analyzing the picture.
Evidence: He likes smoking. A lot. And Lucky Strikes too. He often forgets about his burning cigarettes and/or passes out at the desk.
Analysis: Heroin addict.
Evidence: Package of Pepcid Duo.
Analysis: Suffers from heartburn.
Evidence: Two uneaten baked potatoes, still wrapped in aluminum foil.
Analysis: Likes sour cream.
Evidence: Bottle of Gordon's gin just out of frame on the far right.
Analysis: Wait a minute -- that's my keyboard! Damn I have womanly hands.
Yummy! [geekarmy]
Thanks Shawn, you can have one of the potatoes if you want
May 16 2008 WTF, That's Gross: Bread Head Bakery
Kittiwat Unarrom got a master's degree in fine arts and now makes lifelike body parts out of bread at a bakery in Thailand. All the disturbing yeast sculptures are made out of dough, raisins, cashews and chocolate. He'll also paint the outside with some sort of edible paint to give it an even more gruesome appearance. When asked why he does it, Kittiwat replied, "I'm a wackjob and I like making people sick".* And what does The Geekologie Writer think of these bready body parts? We may never know -- he's too busy puking up the Spaghetti O's sandwich he had for lunch.
*As interpreted by yours truly.
UPDATE: VIDEO added after the jump.
More pictures after the jump, but warning: they're more graphic than the first one. Yes, I'm a girl. I wear frilly panties.
May 2 2008 Japanese IV Drip Cafes Just Aren't Right
When I think of a cafe I think reading the morning paper and sipping an espresso while ogling the cute barista that I have a crush on. NOT an IV drip. Well, following in the footsteps of oxygen bars come Japanese IV drip cafes. For about 2,000 yen ($20), you too can be pricked by a registered nurse and get your drip on.
Tenteki10, located in the swank area of Ebisu, Tokyo, offers customers a walk-in service that features IV drips starting at 2,000 yen ($20). The service is meant to provide a skin care boost, act as an anti-aging remedy and alleviate stress and exhaustion.
I hate needles, so this is clearly not for me. I mean I could make an exception if there was morphine involved, but I've got a feeling there isn't. The last time I went in for surgery I had an IV drip and the anesthesiologist injected the anesthesia into the bag and told me to count backwards from 100. I made it to 98 and then woke up after the surgery. I felt funny. Down there. I lifted my gown and the once tranquil forest surrounding Peckertown had been clear cut! If I ever break my arm again I'm not going back there.
IV Drip Cafes emerge as Japanese salaryman jumper cables [dvice]
Apr 30 2008 For Real: Man Regrows Finger With Pixie Dust
Lee Spievak cut his finger off and then regrew it using pixie dust.
"I put my finger in," Mr. Spievak says, pointing towards the propeller of a model airplane, "and that's when I sliced my finger off."
Wow, Lee, wow. Reminds me of the time I stuck my tongue in an oscillating fan.
Today though, you wouldn't know it. Mr Spievak, who is 69 years old, shows off his finger, and it's all there, tissue, nerves, nail, skin, even his finger print. How? Well that's the truly remarkable part. It wasn't a transplant. Mr Spievak re-grew his finger tip. He used a powder - or pixie dust as he sometimes refers to it while telling his story. Mr Speivak's brother Alan - who was working in the field of regenerative medicine - sent him the powder.
The pixie dust, or more appropriately "pigsy dust", is actually made by scraping the cells from the inside of a pig's bladder, treating them with acid, and turning them into a powder. In addition to smelling like urine, the magical substance can regrow fingers lost in the propellers of model airplanes. Scientists hope that within 10 years we will be able to regrow arms and legs. Cool, scientists, but let's think outside the box for a second. How about you grow me a sweet pair of wings or a tail? That's what I want. Seriously though, I'm a little skeptical about this whole thing. I smoked a little angel dust once and I didn't grow a penis out of my forehead. I just felt like there were worms burrowing under my skin.
An uncensored picture of dude's severed finger (GRAPHIC), along with a link to the BBC article (which includes videos), after the jump.
Continue Reading " For Real: Man Regrows Finger With Pixie Dust "
Apr 22 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Shoe Vending Machines
Here at Geekologie we've seen all kinds of different vending machines. We've seen ones that dispense soccer balls, pizzas, people, pot, other drugs, and even small children. Well now we're adding shoes to that list. As someone who has woken up shoeless and in a ditch on the bad side of town several times, so I can attest to the brilliance of footwear vending machines. This particular dispensary is on London's Carnaby Street and spits out Onitsuka Tigers. The machine holds 24 pairs in 6 different sizes (probably no 14's) and each costs an undisclosed number of coconuts. As you can see from the picture, the machine really attracts the chicks, and I'd totally do them all.
UPDATE: Okay, turns out that third chick is actually a dude. I retract my previous statement. I would now only do chicks 1, 2, and 4, despite dude's silky soft hair, capris, and fetching mustachio.
Shoe Vending Machine, Buy Shoes 24/7 [uberreview]
