Aug 3 2009 Tough Crowd On Tatooine: Star Wars Comedy
VIDEO SLIGHTLY NSFW DUE TO A COUPLE BAD WORDS.
This is a video of a stand up comic doing a set at Jabba's palace on Tatooine and bombing miserably. Personally, I thought he was funnier that hell (it's surprisingly serious down there), but what do I know about humor? BESIDES EVERYTHING. People hurting themselves is the best.
Star Wars Stand Up Comic [funnyordie]
Thanks to Cocoa, who once made me laugh so hard I haven't been the same since.
Jul 31 2009 I Don't Care What You Say, I Would Eat It
Yes I would. I would cut that cake with a knife and eat it with a fork OR WHATEVER UTENSIL IS AROUND. And if there aren't any I would just use my hand like a neanderthal BECAUSE I AM A SUCKER FOR ICE CREAM CAKE, OKAY? Now I know most of you guys don't like Twilight because it sucks so hard, but a lot of chicks really eat this teenage vampire shit up. Not getting any chicks? USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE. I'm talking fang implants, bro.
Cake of the Day: Needs more sprinkles. [dailywhat]
Thanks to pstone, who doesn't do vampires but did date a halfling.
Jul 30 2009 Cocoa & The Sandersens: Strike 3, Yer Out!
NOTE: VIDEO BEST WATCHED WITH CANDY AND ICE CREAM BUT NOT POP-TARTS.
I honestly didn't know what a strike out was until I watched this, and I think it's pretty safe to say I've been living my life in vain. This video is so jam packed with important life lessons that I'm thinking about writing a book about it. It's gonna be called, 'Striking Out: How Not To Give A Dang'. Yeah, and it's gonna be a bestseller in both self help AND cookbooks because I'm going to include a couple of my favorite stoned recipes like 'Skittles' and 'Ice Cream Right Out Of The Box'. So, Cocoa, what do you say -- me, you, a palace made of candy? BECAUSE I CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
Jul 30 2009 I'd Eat That Off The Floor: Human Dog Food
Kooky-Chew Human Dog Food is actually 2 1/2 ounces of crunchy cookie bits for humans, but made to look like dog kibble. I want some. Plus, each bowl comes with a candy bone, and who doesn't like candy? Or ice cream? GOD, THIS WASN'T EVEN ABOUT ICE CREAM BUT NOW I WANT SOME! Each bowl will set you back a cool $1.49 and should not be stored in the same place as regular dog food. Because you know what will happen, don't you? I don't, but I'm sure it'll be hilarious. Like somebody stepping on a rake and getting hit in the face!
Thanks to Julian, who once ate a whole 20lb bag of dog food before he realized it was cat foot. I LIKE THE SALMON FLAVOR TOO, JULIAN!
Apr 22 2009 Best Nintendo DS Case Ever? Hint: Yes
This is by far the best Nintendo DS case ever crafted. If you can't tell by the censor block I put over the picture, they're boobs. But not just any boobs. Really soft looking ones. I swear, we get a picture of Jessica Chobot licking this and BOOM!: the cover of TIME Magazine. For the next thirty years. Also, peace in the Middle East.
Hit the jump for the uncensored picture.
Mar 24 2009 I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream....
For hot beef sundaes? I want mine with extra bacon jimmies.
Hot Beef Sundae [foundshit]
Thanks to tohwee, who really does love hot meat.
Mar 5 2009 Death A La Mode: A Robotic Ice Cream Server
I just don't get it -- why take the chance? What's wrong with paying some pimply adolescent $6/hour to serve ice cream? You have to look at his ugly face, that's what. Still, I want the record to show that I am anti-robotic ice cream server.
These Kuka industrial robots were programmed by 26 students over 5 weeks to serve ice cream (with toppings!) to attendees at Ohio Northern University's homecoming festivities.
Well, like the saying goes, "I scream, you scream, we all scream for HOLY SHIT THAT ROBOT HAS SPRINKLES -- HIT THE DECK!!!"
Hit the jump for a relatively boring 5-minute video about the servers of death.
Continue Reading " Death A La Mode: A Robotic Ice Cream Server "
Feb 24 2009 LG Watch Phone Coming Soon, Costing A Lot
The LG touchscreen G910 watchphone is both watch and cellphone and is actually being made. The drop will start in Europe with a pricetag of £1,000 / €1,144 and then make its way to the states for somewhere between $1,000 and $1,500. So, you willing to pay a cool grand to be the first one with a watchphone? How much you willing to pay to be the first to kiss the Geekologie Writer? Do I hear $10? $5? The ice-cream truck? Wait for me, mister, I want a rocket-pop!
LG's G910 watchphone to cost £1,000? [engadget]
Nov 18 2008 How To: Make Your Own Bacon Ice Cream
Mmmm. If there's one thing that makes a geek, it's having never seen a boob in real life. If there's two, it's a penchant for Mountain Dew and bacon. Am I right? *high five* WOO! Still haven't seen a titty. Maybe someday. But damn do I pound some Dew. And, when the mood strikes me, bacon. Well now you can make your own delicious candied bacon ice cream by following the simple instructions over at David Lebovitz's website. I don't really want to go into details, but for you stoners out there: it's a little more complicated than just adding Bac~O's to vanilla ice cream. Which, ZOMG, is totally about to happen!
Candied Bacon Ice Cream Recipe [davidlebovitz]
Thanks to Dan, who once ate partially cooked bacon off a stripper's ass but felt sick afterward.
Sep 29 2008 Mmmm, Good: Wasabi Ginger Lollipops
From Lolliphile, the makers of the Maple-Bacon lollipops, comes their newest flavor -- Wasabi Ginger! I love wasabi. I can eat a whole ball of it. I eat it until I cry. Same goes for ice cream. Oh, and cereal.
Product Page
Sep 24 2008 PETA To Ben And Jerry's: Use Breast Milk
PETA, in their unending quest to make ice cream even more delicious, is urging Ben and Jerry's to start using human breast milk instead of cow milk.
On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I'd like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry's. Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers--and cows--would reap the benefits.
The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.
Well, they do have a point there, the breast is best. But still -- human breast milk ice cream? I dunno....
UPDATE: LEGIT! Two scoops of Mammary Madness please!
The Breast Is Best! PETA Asks Ben & Jerry's to Dump Dairy and Go With Human Milk Instead [PETA]
Thanks to The Superficial Writer, who, despite the tip, is still a major dick.
Aug 1 2008 I'm Thirsty: Mars Ice Melted, Turned To Water
Remember the post about the Phoenix Lander spotting ice on Mars? Well now the brave little explorer has collected a sample of the stuff and cooked it in a special easy-bake oven it has on board. The result? Water.
"The fact that it melted at zero degrees Celsius leaves very little doubt that it is standard water ice," William Boynton of the University of Arizona said. He said sensors also tested the chemical makeup of the vapor and found the familiar combination of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom.
HIYO, we have water! And all it took was a little oven, huh? Well I'll get to the bottom of this Montauk Monster business yet. *jamming beast into oven* What do you think, 4 hours at 450⁰?
UPDATE: Mmmm, starting to smell real science-y. Anybody seen the baster?
Existence Of Water On Mars Confirmed [washingtonpost]
May 7 2008 I Never Met A Flavor I Didn't Like: Baskin-Robbins Co-Founder Dies At 90
Hold it together Geekologie Writer. Irv Robbins, a man my girlfriend swears deserves two Nobel Peace Prizes, has passed away at the age of 90. Robbins is best known for putting the Robbins in Baskin-Robbins and providing invaluable aid in my girlfriend's quest to gain 30 pounds. In all seriousness though, I used to eat the hell out of some Baskin-Robbins as a kid, and Irv helped create countless memories for millions of ice cream loving children and adults alike. *sniffle* Thanks Irv, I hope you're rambling along that great Rocky Road in the sky. *sniffle* Hold me, mint chocolate chip.
R.I.P. Irv Robbins (December 6, 1917 - May 5, 2008)
Baskin-Robbins Co-Founder Dead At 90 [aol]
Thanks Pat, let's go out for a quadruple scoop in Irv's memory
Mar 17 2008 Spy Hunter Themed Pontiac Car Commercial
In an attempt to go after the "grew up in the 80's and played the hell out of Spy Hunter" demographic, Pontiac's new G8 commercial is based on the video game. I always thought the car was supposed to be a Stingray, but I did some deep digging (~4 seconds on Wikipedia) and found out the fictitious G-6155 Interceptor was actually modeled after a 1983 Z28. So, yeah, you learn something new every day. Like yesterday (Sunday) I learned that the lady who runs the ice-cream van around here parks it in the empty middle school lot and scarfs a lot of the product. I saw her pound at least two Drumsticks, a Flinstones Push-Up, and a Rocket Pop. She better have paid for them too. Because if I find out the price of orange creamsicles went up another dime I'll just die. Now where was I? Oh right, Spy Hunter. Loved the boat part. That was my favorite.
UPDATE: Higher quality video added after the jump.
Continue Reading " Spy Hunter Themed Pontiac Car Commercial "
Sep 12 2007 Ice Cream Machine Cures Sadness
Dr. Whippy is an ice cream machine with a twist. It uses voice stress analysis to determine a user's degree of unhappiness based on a list of predetermined questions, and then gives the sad bastard an appropriate amount of ice cream. More yummy goodness the sadder you are. I can see it now, my girlfriend tearing the damn thing open and faceplanting right in the ice cream bucket. Not because she's depressed, but because she loves ice cream and is fat. As hell.
Dr. Whippy Ice Cream Machine Cures Sadness [uberreview]
