May 28 2008 'Perfect Woman' Robot Is Far From Perfect

Remember Aiko, the life-like wheelchair-bound robot woman that slapped you if you tried to touch her boobs? Yeah, that was wrong on every level possible. Well here comes another robot companion for men -- Lisa, the Perfect Woman. She can allegedly cook dinner and I really hope this is fake.

We created a technology called RKS, "Recognition Krax System", which allows for vocal, tactile and visual recognition. Lisa is able to recognize objects and persons and she can even differentiate between roses and tulips for example.

...everything started with a book called Love + Sex with Robots: the Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships by David Levy. I had always thought that one day technology would allow us to create a robot that would be able to perfectly imitate human behaviour. With Lisa we succeeded.

Well I've heard enough. Seriously, sex with robots is just wrong, period. Call me crazy, but what in the hell's the matter with good old fashioned analog sex with an inflatable sheep?

Another MUST MUST SEE video about a guy that allegedly fell in love with one of these, after the jump. Note: They block out his face and make him sound like he sucked down a helium tank so he can't be identified and ridiculed. And no, it's not me, I swear*.

*On the robotic life of my beloved Lisa.

UPDATE: As I had hoped this is strongly believed to be a hoax and an actual real-life woman. But I humped her anyway and she did start smoking out one of her ears. So what conclusion can we draw from this? I clearly have no idea where a woman's vagina is located.

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May 6 2008 Win Lobsters In A Claw Machine. HAAHAHA A!

Get it? Lobsters, claw machine? Lobsters have claws, this claw machine has lobsters, I have no brain. I've actually known about these machines for a while, because I was filming a documentary about people (me) who get drunk and travel around to bars playing claw games. If you think I'm joking I have three trashbags filled with stuffed animals and crap to prove it. Oh, and I saw one like this at a seafood restaurant in the Outer Banks. The place would even cook your lobster for you if you won. But it cost $1 to play so I only got to try twice. And even being a claw machine expert, I couldn't freaking grab the crustaceous bastard I had my eye on. I did manage to tear one of his legs off though.

NOTE: Not really.

Worthwhile video of people playing, after the jump.

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