Apr 27 2009 I Want Out: Electrocuting Rubber Duckie

rubber duckie 1.jpg

Looking for a way out but second guessing your decision to dive into a volcano? Enter the Electric Bath Duck, a suicide assistance device that allegedly works better than a toaster. Thankfully, it's fake. But listen -- I don't want any of you killing yourselves anyways, you hear me? Because then who would read the words I write? Nobody, that's who. My family doesn't even read my diary anymore and I leave it open on the coffee table. So if you are having suicidal thoughts, seek help. And remember folks, I'm here for you. God may have spited me downstairs, but I do have big ears.

Hit the jump for a shot of the back.

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Jan 31 2009 Cheers To You!: Sadly Not A Drinking Game

Many of you have probably already seen this since it was featured on the Ellen Degeneres Show, but for those of you who haven't -- Cheers To You!

Hit the jump for the much better metal-remix.

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