Sep 11 2009 Beef Jerky: Now With More Caffeine
Perky Jerky is beef jerky with caffeine added (via guarana) to help keep you awake and focused on trying to look busy and not like you're just reading Geekologie.
Perky Jerky caffeinated beef jerky is the world's first performance enhancing meat snack. Put simply, we've combined the most tender and flavorful beef jerky, with an extra dose of energy (caffeine, from the Guarana we add) to provide a jerky experience you won't find anywhere else.
Performance enhancing meat snack. I dunno about all that. But if you want to try it, a 2 oz bag will set you back $5. Alternatively, a 2 oz bag of good weed would be like $700. So, yeah, cheaper than good weed.
Thanks to Ryan, Mr. Robbot and Towhee Monster, who get their energy the old fashioned way, directly from the sun. Transform and photosynthesize!
May 8 2009 Man Builds Scrap Massage Chair For Wife
Lin Shuseng, too cheap to buy his wife one of those $4 battery operated personal massagers (or one of the more expensive ones that looks like a wand that women use to, you know, stir the soup), decided instead to spend 8 years building her a scrap metal massage chair to soothe her painful joints (she suffered in the meantime). Wow, Lin, that's real love right there. Also, the chair from Saw. OMG YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HER!
Chinese retiree uses scrap to create steampunk robo-massage chair [dvice]
Apr 30 2009 Highly Questionable, Volatile: Robot Milk
I have no idea what the hell robot milk is (likely poison), but it looks thicker than the BBW in my fetish mag. Also, how the hell does one go about procuring robot milk? Because if it's anything like milking a bull, the The Superficial Writer wants in.
Robot Milk [friggingrandom]
Thanks to Bo, who once milked a goat and then made goat cheese and sold it at a farmer's market. Good looking, Bo.
Mar 2 2009 I'd Rather Just Die: Alleged 'Rescue' Robot
This rescue robot, the red-headed stepsister of this beast, was designed to rescue humans from areas firemen can't easily access.
Apparently, the seemingly unnamed robot can not only carry a 110 kilogram person over difficult terrain with ease, but monitor the occupant's vital signs as well, although complete details on that, and any other technical details are a bit hard to come by at the moment. As with most such robots, however, this one's apparently not completely autonomous, with it packing some infrared cameras to allow its operator to locate folks even in conditions with poor visability.
Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather die by fire or crushing than crawl into this thing's belly. Because God knows what it's gonna do to you once you're in there. Tell me -- you think it's just a coincidence it's human-carrying drawer looks like one at the morgue? No, it's not. Seriously though, props to the guy that posed for the picture. You see where guy's got his hands there? He's shielding the photographer from his balls. Uranium alloy.
Yokohama fire department enlists robotic crawler to aid evacuations [engadget]
Thanks to ksam84 and Mark, who threw a mannequin packed full of C4 into the remains of a demolished building in the hope of luring one of these beasts to its death.
Oct 13 2008 $60,000 His And Her LEGO Sculptures
Got $60,000 lying around? Looking for a way to blow it in the most ridiculous way possible? How about life-sized his and her LEGO sculptures from famed LEGO artist Nathan Sawaya?
Send in detailed photos and measurements, then Nathan gets to snapping and BOOM! One-of-a-kind, life-size sculptures of yourselves in LEGO bricks. We priced our exclusive gift individually, so Nathan can "brickalize" you and the S.O., the kids, Granny and/or anyone else you obsess about. (Just make sure you have the rights to their likenesses; we're not here to judge.)
Word on the street is that for an extra $10,000 Nathan will even throw in a pet. Which, for $10K, better be a freaking dinosaur. A real one.
Hit the jump for one more full-body picture.
Apr 2 2008 Surround Sound Chair Looks Ridiculous
There's a lot of things I'd do for awesome surround sound. These things include, but are not limited to: selling myself in the back of a U-Haul, lying, stealing, cheating on my taxes, drinking a gallon of milk in under an hour, and jumping out of a tall tree. However this D+S Surround Sound Chair just doesn't do it for me.
This chair prevents sound from reflecting off the walls and the ceiling and thus prevents it losing its vital character. The Chair has two speakers in front of you which is mounted on an adjustable tubing that can be fully adjusted. Two flared sound vents sit just next to your ears and look more like small trumpets. Two more circular speakers above your head complete the speaker quartet. And for some thumping bass, you have a nice sub woofer that sits neatly beneath the chair.
It costs $3,000. But if you're interested I would recommend waiting to pay until there are actual photographs proving its existence. Like those Bigfoot pictures. I was a complete non-believer until I saw those. Now, not only do I believe in monster trucks, but I think they're totally awesome.
D+S Surround Sound Chair puts normal speaker setups to shame [bornrich]
