Nov 17 2009 I'm Taking 'Em With Me!: The Gerbil Shirt (Exclusively For Pudgy Red-Headed Kids)
Gosh, it seems like only yesterday I was hard at working fashioning a bong out of my gerbil's old Habitrail. But it wasn't, it was this morning I'm doing it right now. Anybody have a hot glue gun?
The Gerbil Shirt wraps your torso in plastic tube passageways, making your bod a super highway of fun for Binky and Bart. The interior surfaces are textured for traction and have air vents for easy breathing.
The inventor suggests you can clean the Gerbil Shirt by attaching it to a faucet (remove pets first please), and you should avoid collisions and falls that could cause pet panic.
Listen, I'm not one to judge, except I totally am BECAUSE I'M SO GOOD AT IT. Wapner? Pfft, that old pantstain couldn't gavel his way out of a wet paper bag. Judy? Wrinkled whore. But a Habitrail vest? That's just a solid product.
Gerbil Shirt [ohgizmo]
Thanks to david, who better not catch you trying to run one of those tubes up your butt.
Oct 22 2009 I'd Rock It: The Three Teen Wolf T-Shirt
It was only a matter of time before somebody smoked enough weed to realize how cool a Three Teen Wolf Moon t-shirt would be, and here it is. Available from 80's Tees for 20 silver bullets, the shirt is sure to be a hit at parties. Mostly sausage parties, but still, you might make some friends.
Thanks to chris, who howls at the moon to attract girls. He's a furry lover!
Aug 24 2009 Do Want: This Human Ingredients T-Shirt
This is $20 t-shirt listing the ingredients of human bodies in percentage order from largest to smallest. Did you know we're 0.25% sulfur? Because maybe that's why you smell so bad. Or maybe it's just your upper lip! BUUUUUUUURN. Your momma wears army boots and dresses you funny!
Thanks to Towhee Monster, who is actually 100% awesome.
Aug 13 2009 Lookin' Sharp: Periodic Sweater Of Elements
This is a periodic sweater of elements made by knitter apinnick. It looks sharp and I would wear it EVEN WHEN IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS. The table continues around the sweater to the back, and the sleeves contain the names of different fungi (right sleeve) and bacteria (left sleeve). Because, as we all know, bacteria and fungi like to party with the elements. It's true, one time -- and you've got to promise you won't tell anybody I told you this -- I saw Penicillium touching Argon's butt at a school dance. THEY WERE BEING SO FREAKY!
Hit the jump for several more shots of the awesomeness.
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Jul 23 2009 Video Game Bling: The Halo Ring
Typically I don't wear jewelry (just makeup) but I would make an exception for this Master Chief ring. The $180 finger cuff even has the Halo 3 emblem inscribed on the inside. Plus, if you punch somebody in the face hard enough you'll leave them with a little Spartan helmet indentation. And that, my friend, is *POW* Haha -- consider yourself chiefed, sucker!
This Halo Ring is Bling [gadgetcrave]
Thanks to Clark, who says whenever he sees Master Chief he thinks of me. And not just because you never see my face. I'm a great leader too, you know.
Jun 2 2008 Cassette Face Watch Is Alright, I Guess
The AOS Cassette Face Watch costs about $70 and looks like a cassette. It also tells time. No way. Yes way. No way! Yes way! But who needs to tell time anyways? Time is old fashioned and not the sun. I suggest we get rid of time altogether and any hot and spicy female readers send me provocative pictures. Because then, I'm a scientist, time won't be important. I said I'm a scientist yo. This is a real lab coat. Wait, where'd my lab coat go? Okay, well this is an authentic Big Johnson t-shirt. I actually have no idea about worm holes because the bourbon this morning made afternoon delights a no go and I think a rocketship just crash landed on my brain. So get those coming. Also, something about...oh yes, this watch is okay but you know what's better than a cassette watch? No, not a Walkman watch. Well, technologically, that is cooler but not what I was getting at. I was getting at...shit now you made me forget. OH YEAH -- a BOOMBOX watch. A watch that looks like an old school ghetto blaster. Cool huh? I know. You hear that, Tokyoflash? I want one for free when it's made or else the good doctor gets it, do you understandeth what I speak? I need to lie down. Oh my God this pillow is meowing!
Another picture after the jump in case you were dying to know what the watch looks like with a hand casually tucked into your black-jeans pocket.
Continue Reading " Cassette Face Watch Is Alright, I Guess "
