Nov 5 2009 That Can't Be Good For His Knees: DS Player

This man, who could be any of us (BUT TOTALLY ISN'T ME, I SWEAR) was caught playing a demo Nintendo DS at Wal-Mart on his knees. DS'er, on his knees *snicker* ENOUGH -- this is not the time for your pervy laughter! This IS the time to take up a collection and get this poor bastard a DS. And, if there's anything left over, Rogaine and a spray tan.

World Of Walmart [peopleofwalmart]

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who once got caught taking whippits in the dairy isle AND WHO CAN BLAME HIM?!

Nov 30 2008 Gay Penguins Steal Eggs From Straight Couples, Get Proposition 8'ed By Zoo

Two gay penguins at Polar Land in Harbin, China have been stealthily stealing eggs from straight couples and replacing them with rocks. Brilliant!

But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracized the gay couple from their group. Now keepers have decided to segregate the pair of three-year-old male birds to avoid disrupting the rest of the community during the hatching season.

"One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs. Despite this being a biological impossibility for this couple, the natural desire is still there," a keeper told the Austrian Times newspaper.

"It's not discrimination. We have to fence them separately, otherwise the whole group will be disturbed during hatching time," he added.

Not discrimination my ass. Next thing you know the couple won't even be allowed to marry. Seriously, I have had it up to here *raising arm as high over head as possible* with this nonsense. Penguins are people too, you know? And wow, my pits smell like chili-dogs with lots of chopped onion. F***ing love those things. Gay penguins too. Pittsburgh, eh, not so much.

Gay penguins steal eggs from straight couples [telegraph]

Thanks to Matt, who allegedly saw a turtle threesome at the zoo once.