May 22 2009 Magical Wolf Shirt Receives Rave Reviews
A shirt being sold by Amazon that features three wolf heads howling at the moon has receiving over 500 reviews and seriously increased sales. Most of the reviews mention the shirt's magical properties. Here's the one that got it all started:
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.
There you have it. The review was so popular that wolf shirt sales have gone through the roof (up 2,300%), with everybody else trying to score a piece of the magic. Hell, the BBC even did a story on it. Now, if you'll excu....*ripping track jacket off* OW OW OOOOOOOOOWWW!! Come on -- who likes it hairy?
Amazon Product Site
and
Joke review boosts T-shirt sales [bbcnews]
Thanks to gizmoduck, The Superficial Writer, pironic, debaser, Mubbly, Ben, Jacob, Danimal, Pete, Yopoleo, Richard Belding, Brett and Ryan, who know a shirt that will get that ladies when they see it.
Feb 26 2009 Must Have!: LEGO Minifig 'Business Cards'
So apparently LEGO employees get custom minifigs made to look like them, complete with printed contact info to use as business cards. Well tickle me jealous! LEGO, if you're reading this, I must have some. Go ahead and use my picture from hotornot. Seriously, I'm a solid 6.5. I NEED THESE BUSINESS FIGS! There's just nothing more gratifying than rolling around with a pocketful of minifigs. Or change. Ching ching, ladies -- Mr. Moneybags coming!
LEGO Business Card [wired]
Thanks to Fally, who would make one hell of a good looking minifig.
Sep 15 2008 Own Your Own T-Rex Statue With Movement And Blood Curdling Roar!
This isn't actually made from real bones (although for $22,000 it damn well should be), but it is an accurate skeletal statue of a young Tyrannosaurus E-rex (it does me anyway). Hit the jump to see the statue's movement and hear its roar, both of which are pretty freaking impressive. Now they just need to add some silicon skin, a couple life-like entries, a ladder for easy access, and what in the hell is wrong with me? That's right, nothing.
Hit it for the video.
Continue Reading " Own Your Own T-Rex Statue With Movement And Blood Curdling Roar! "
Aug 12 2008 Buy It For Me!: Every NES Game Released
There's an eBay auction going on right now for an NES and every game ever released in a gray cartridge (no golden Zeldas), along with two that never were (California Raisins and Final Fantasy 2)!
This is it! Every NES cartridge ever made in a gray cartridge. About half the games have the instruction manual. This auction also includes a complete NES System with mint everything, including the posters and warrantee. A boxed Four Score with 2 extra controllers is also included, plus everything else you see on these pics. This feat took me years and thousands to complete. This is my most prized collection which I do not want to give up, but I have some serious family issues where money is needed now.
The auction has a Buy It Now price of $3,800, and, seeing how I am turning 14 today, I thought all you loyal Geekologie readers might want to band together and help me buy it. Seriously, if every one of you just donates a dollar, then I'll only have to cover $3,500 myself.
Well folks, the blogging is done, time to hit the streets! Literally -- I'm gonna have to sell myself for an hour to afford birthday shooters. See you all tomorrow!
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a link to the auction.
Continue Reading " Buy It For Me!: Every NES Game Released "
Aug 6 2008 Pure Class (And Alcohol): The Beer Belt
The Beer Belt costs $18 from Urban Outfitters and holds six cans or bottles. But I assume if you're buying this you'll be carrying bottles. And not just because they're classier (although they are), but to carry six cans, you just put your belt through a loop in one of those plastic 6-pack carriers that strangles birds. But whichever way you go, there's one thing for certain: you'll be looking damn good. And, depending on how fast you drink, chugging warm beers. Just saying, scientists invented ice for a reason.
Jul 29 2008 T.I.E. Fighter Model Used In Star Wars: A New Hope On eBay, More Than You Can Afford
Want the T.I.E. Fighter model that was used in Star Wars: A New Hope? The one that hit Vader's ship? Well now you can, it's on eBay.
903. Original T.I.E. Fighter filming miniature and original camera reports from Star Wars: A New Hope. (TCF, 1977) During the nail-biting assault on the Death Star in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, this is the actual filming miniature of the T.I.E. Fighter that bumps into Darth Vader's fighter knocking him out of the trench, allowing Luke to destroy the Death Star. This historic piece is from the collection of Academy Award-winning Visual Effects wizard, Richard Edlund. The design concepts for the T.I.E. (Twin Ion Engine) Fighters of the Galactic Empire originally came from Colin Cantwell and Ralph McQuarrie. Joe Johnston, who was the visual effects art director and overall storyboard artist for the entire trilogy was very involved in the final finessing of the ships and Death Star designs. Only four T.I.E. Fighters were built for the first Star Wars film. Grant McCune, head of the model shop, used a fairly heavy but stable resin for the body of the ship and other resins for the tinier parts. It has a central hollow aluminum knuckle with six-way threadings for top, bottom, front, back, left and right side mounting options with 11/16 in. hollow threaded rods as wiring conduits which attached to the various self-lit neon blue pylons. The hexagonal wings are created of fine expanded metal sheeting. Much of the intricate design detail was robbed from plastic model kits, then modified and affixed.
Unfortunately, the little thing is only 18" H x 14" W, so there goes using it as a treehouse. So, what can one expect to pay for such a diminutive T.I.E. Fighter? How about $170,000? Yeah. There's never been a better time to kidnap, extort, blackmail, and/or auction your hitman services. I'll start by knocking off The Superficial Writer. Do I hear $10? $5? $1? 2-for-1 Whopper card? Fine cheapskates, but this is your only freebee.
Hit the jump for several more pictures and a link to the auction.
Jul 29 2008 $100,000 Jetpack Coming Next Year?
48-year old New Zealander, Glenn Martin, has spent over 26 years developing a jetpack, and believes it may be ready for sale next year. The 250 lb (part of it rests on the ground at idle so you don't have to lift the weight), 200hp, twin-rotor (it's not actually a jetpack) beast produces 600 lbs of thrust and can be flown for over 30 minutes on a tank of gas. Is it safe? Who cares, I want to fly. And, maybe afterwards, learn to swim.
"People come up and go, 'Is it safe?' " Mr. Martin said. "Safety is a relative thing. We think we have done a lot to make this by far the safest jetpack ever built." But, he acknowledged, "It's not a high bar."He added, "I've got to get my head around the fact that at some point, somebody is going to have a very bad experience."
Well, at least he's being realistic. But seriously Glenn, I want to be that somebody.
Hit the link for a video of the thing and a way long article that was really long that I may or may not have read all of.
Jul 24 2008 OMG: Marty McFly's Hoverboard On eBay
After spotting the post about Marty McFly's Nike's on eBay last week, loyal Geekologie reader (and all around handsome devil) Dave was kind enough to inform me that THE FREAKING HOVERBOARD IS UP FOR SALE TOO!
This is one of the hero Mattel Hoverboards used by Michael J. Fox in his most famous role as "Marty McFly" in the Robert Zemeckis classic 80s trilogy, Back to the Future. Two styles of Hoverboard were made for and employed in the film - lightweight boards of styrofoam construction and thick and durable wood-based props - this example is the latter, and is recognized as the best example of all wood Hoverboards to have survived the rigors of filming.
It is in used but outstanding condition, and is very rare in that it is entirely complete and intact. Given the wood build and use of metal components, it looks and feels like a "real" prop. This piece has the complete fully functional and rear ballbearing-mounted footpad that rotates 360 degrees, as well as the bottom "magnet plates". Of the two styles of stickers used for the effects, this prop has the "photoboard"-style sticker affixed. In addition, there is other textured styling and hand painting. This Hoverboard also features the hole in the top, representing where the handlebars were that "Marty" pulled off after borrowing the "toy" from the little girl in the film.
Oh man, I need it. You think it still works? Unfortunately the bidding starts at, are you sitting down -- $30,000. So yeah, what I'm gonna do is this: Build a time machine, travel to the future, pick up a sports score book, travel back to now, place some huge bets, and then buy that mother. I'm original!
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures of the board in the movie, ALONG WITH A VIDEO OF THE WHOLE CHASE SCENE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. KISSES!
Jul 17 2008 Sweeeeet!: Hands-Free Laptop Holder
The Connect-A-Desk is a $40 hands-free laptop desk that hangs from your neck. It was designed to make you look cool and I think it's safe to say it's working perfectly. My tipster, Kenny, had this to say about the device:
hey man, saw this on thinkgeek, and figured youd find something very mean to say about it :P hahaha
Now I don't know why you think I'm the kind of person that'd write something mean, Kenny, and I hate to disappoint a loyal reader, but this thing is bad-to-the-ass. I mean, it's hands-free, so you can walk around (or drive) and still use your computer. I do suggest they sell a towel attachment though. You know, one that hangs down in front low enough to cover your junk. HA! -- there aren't enough towels in the world to cover your junk! Good one. We're like opposites.
Thanks Kenny, and I know, I'm a disappointment.
Jun 18 2008 Must Have!: Big Lebowski Action Figures
It's about freaking time -- someone is finally releasing some quality Big Lebowski action figures. For $25 you can score The Dude, complete with accessories.
Don't miss The Dude-- Unemployed! You'll flip for our Action Figure of The Dude from The Big Lebowski. Dressed in his bathrobe and slippers, he stands 8-inches tall and comes with loads of hilarious accessories: sunglasses, robe, White Russian, milk carton, ID card, and genuine cloth rug! Achieve your desires by buying this character today!
They're releasing other figures too, including Walter and another version of the Dude (see picture after the jump), Donny, and The Stranger (the narrator in the movie, not when you sit on your hand till it goes numb). If you're attending the July 23- 27 San Diego Comic-Con you can pick The Dude up at that time, otherwise they won't be shipping till August/September. I need one. Somebody, anybody, please abide.
Tony the Chauffeur: So he says "My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates. My daughter's married to a real loser bastard. And I got a rash so bad on my ass, I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain."
The Dude: F***in' A, man. I got a rash, man.
Hit the jump for a picture of Walter and another version of The Dude.
Continue Reading " Must Have!: Big Lebowski Action Figures "
Jun 17 2008 Chinese Firm Builds Identified Flying Object
Harbin Smart Special Aerocraft, a Chinese company, has built a prototype flying saucer. It took the company over 12 years and $4 million to make the thing, and that's not a picture of it. That's some art exhibit by Japanese artist Mariko Mori. It just happens to be the picture that came with the story since the flying saucer is still top secret or something. 4 feet in diameter, the propeller-powered flying dish can fly to over 1,000 meters, take off and land vertically, and go about 50MPH. The unmanned object can be programmed to fly a predetermined path or remotely controlled from allegedly great distances and was designed "for aerial photography, geological surveys, and emergency lighting." Alternatively, it could be used to play pranks on this poor dork.
Chinese company develops 'UFO': report [breitbart]
Thanks Mark and Melissa, you two want to go thirdies in on one?
Jun 6 2008 Reading Material: RSS Toilet Paper Printer
I'm not sure if this is even real or not, but I sure hope it is because I'm getting pretty damn tired of the reading material options in the office bathroom (a couple Highlights and an empty cereal box). The RSStroom Reader allegedly prints out your favorite RSS feeds on toilet paper so you can catch up on Geekologie without bringing your laptop to the can (which, don't get me wrong, is perfectly acceptable as well). Now that's just freaking brilliant. Plus, it comes with biometric user identification (presumably assblast-based) so I don't have to sift through all The Superficial Writer's Tigerbeat and BOP feeds. Haha, I know I promised I wouldn't tell, but I'm a liar, not a 12-year old girl!
RSStroom Reader shows where you think blogs belong [dvice]
Thanks to Marie, a hot French chick who promises to wipe exclusively with Geekologie
May 30 2008 I Want This Boat -- The Wallypower 118
The $33 million Wallypower 118 is the boat of my dreams. Its 118 feet are powered by five engines -- 2 diesels for tooting around the marina, and 3 jet turbines, for pirating at over 70 MPH. At top speed it guzzles a liter of fuel per second, which limits the range of its 22 ton fuel tanks to 400 nautical miles (compared to 1,500 nm if you're just putting around with the diesels at 9 knots). I could go on and on about how I want to get one and pirate my life away, but instead I'll just say this: I take back all the mean things I said about the guy that has sex with cars, because I would totally do this boat.
A TON more pictures that you WILL look at because I spent a lot of time editing them (and there's one of a chick in a bikini from 50 miles away). Also, some videos.
Mar 7 2008 Company Specializes In LEGO Weaponry
Brickarms is a company that specialized in custom LEGO weapons and minifigs. This picture is of all their regular weapons, sold as the 'Ultra Arsenal' Weapons Pack for $18. It includes the following:
* M1911 .45 Pistol * M23 Pistol * M23 SOCOM Pistol * PPK Spy Pistol * PPK Tactical Spy Pistol * M1A1 SMG * M4 Carbine * AK Assault Rifle * RPG Rocket Grenade * M67 Frag Grenades * M41A Pulse Rifle * Micro Uzi SMG * C96 Mauser 'Broomhandle' * SW500 Magnum Pistol * MP5 SMG * PSG1 Sniper Rifle * M47 Shotgun * M47 Tactical Shotgun * G36 Assault Rifle * MP40 SMG * M24 Steilhandgranate
If you don't need all of those then you can buy the guns individually for $1 apiece. There are also some other custom weapons and minifigs available. Be sure to check them out if you dig military themed LEGO. Unfortunately, according to the website:
Disclaimer: All BrickArms tiny toy weapons are made of solid ABS plastic, designed to be used with Lego toys. They cannot shoot bullets and cannot be made to fire bullets in any way. Again, they are a TOY! T-O-Y Toyee!
Shit, I need to learn to read before buying stuff online. Oh well, I stole the money from my wife anyway. And by I stole the money from my wife I mean I sold one of her kidneys on the black market.
Several more pictures of Brickarm minifigs after the jump.
Feb 14 2008 MISSING (From My Childhood): Space Shuttle Bunkbeds. Thanks A Lot Mom And Dad
Thanks mom and dad. Thanks for nothing. Where was my Space Shuttle Bunk Bed growing up? I'll tell you where it wasn't. It wasn't in the pink room I had to share with my sister, that's for sure. Nope, the bed we shared was My Little Pony themed and had a purple mosquito net thingy hanging over it. So what if the Space Shuttle Bunk cost $2,595, was I not worth it? Oh I wasn't huh? What do you mean an accident? I never peed the bed. Oh, oh, I was the accident. Wow mom, wow. Well happy Valentine's to you too.
Space Shuttle Bunk Bed [nerdapproved]
Feb 13 2008 WTF!?: Pimped Out Powder Room Contest By Roto Rooter Is, Hell If I Know -- Awesome?
Unbeknownst to me, Roto-Rooter (the toilet unclogging company) gave away a pimped out man-bathroom last year. It had a beer tap and 42" flatscreen and all this other stuff that is mandatory for a room that you shower and shit in. Well, to keep up with the hip 20-something crowd they're doing it again, this time for the ladies. Drumroll please: The Pimp My Powder Room Contest by Roto-Rooter! You can enter everyday online at their website for a chance to win. It includes all the must haves for a bathroom like a coffee maker, laptop, iPod touch, Nintendo Wii, flatscreen/mirror combo, new shitter, foot bath, virtual window and more. OMG, this thing is totally mine. I came into this ready to make fun of it, but I actually need all these things in my bathroom. I'm even digging the pretty princess pink color scheme. Hey I'm just saying...oh my god I sprouted a vagina!
That being said, I've tried to play Wii from the john before, and it isn't easy. I was getting into a pretty intense tennis battle on Wii sports when a particularly strong backhand sent me reeling off the commode and onto the floor, where, yeah, #2.
Roto-Rooter's "Pimped out Powder Room" sports a Wii, needs a bigger TV [engadget]
