Nov 19 2009 I Smell Beer Pong!: Pick Your Nose Cups Prevent Spread Of Drinkborne Illnesses

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These Pick Your Nose party cups from Fred are a set of 24 cups (2 each of 12 designs) with different noses printed on them. That way you can easily identify your beverage and not end up drinking from somebody's dipping spit-cup. WHICH HAPPENS. Plus, you you get to spice up your look a bit. Although I'm a little disappointed they didn't get a little more creative with the designs. What about a witch doctor's nose with a bone through it? Don't even tell me that's not a brilliant idea. Because I will shrink your head faster than you can say, "OOO EEE, OOO AH AH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG!" Now, go look in the mirror. Haha, of course I didn't actually do it -- I DON'T EFF WITH BLACK MAGIC. Now The Gathering, that's a whole different story none of your business.

Hit the jump for a woman drinking out of a man's nose model. A woman with a man's nose -- ha!

Continue Reading " I Smell Beer Pong!: Pick Your Nose Cups Prevent Spread Of Drinkborne Illnesses "

Nov 19 2009 Just Make Your Own: Cantena Chain Clock

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I like this clock. I can't exactly say why but I think it's because it costs $2,338 and is definitely something my son team of highly skilled artisans could recreate for a fraction of the cost, ultimately saving you, the sucker, a bundle.

one of our favorite wall clocks, the catena wall clock harkens back to traditional mechanical clocks. copper digits mounted onto a bicycle chain place emphasis on the cyclical nature of time. this clock is a striking clock, literally and figuratively.

IT'S A GEAR AND BICYCLE CHAIN. Sure it's awesome looking but you can't justify a $2,400 pricetag. Besides, what if some punk steals my chain for his BMX? Then I'm timeless! Which, God just look at my chiseled features, I really am.

Product Site

Thanks to Danundertheice and darwyn4, who know what time it is. Am I right, Flavor Flav? Nice viking helmet.

Nov 18 2009 I Like: Geekologie Reader's Mario Animation

This is a 'Pulp Fiction' styled Mario animation that Geekologie Reader Jeremie made. It is most impressive and has restored my faith in Geekologie Readers. For awhile there I was worried you were just a bunch of no-talent FIRST!ing ass-hats. So yeah -- thanks Jeremie, I needed that. *removes laser blaster from mouth*

Youtube

Thanks to Jeremie, whose starcoin-purse is the one that says 'bad mother f***er' on it.

Nov 18 2009 Why Don't House Cats Grow Into Lions?

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This is a clever answer to a query posed in Yahoo! Answers. You can't argue the answerer didn't give them exactly what they asked for, even if it's not what they wanted. Because, let's face it, a lot of people don't even know what they want. I'm looking at you, Mrs.Takes 8 Minutes To Order at the Taco Bell Drive Thru. Next time I'm ramming!

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Thanks to TARDISlover, who likes it bigger on the inside.

Nov 17 2009 Welcome To The Gun Laser Show: Girl Shows Off Her 'Pew Pew' Tattoos

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This is a photo taken by Flickr user Meow Cely of a girl with 'pew pew' tattooed across her fingers. I must admit, I admire her dedication to the pews. You don't see me rocking any pew-y ink (except in THIS post), and I'm one of the the laser blaster's biggest proponents. Funny story: I went to a gun and knife show a few weeks ago and demanded my entrance fee be returned when I found out there weren't any laser guns. Also, I accidentally cut myself with a bowie knife and tried to play it off like I'd been stabbed.

Flickr

via
(Geek) Thug Life!: Pew Pew Tattoo [greatwhitesnark]

Nov 16 2009 Bedtime Stories: Bioshock Told In 3 Minutes

This is a three-minute video of a woman reading the tale of Bioshock to a little kid old-ass man as a bedtime story. And, as a guy who recently played through Bioshock with his older brother (with all the lights on, and never after 7PM), I thought it was pretty good. But don't watch it unless you want the whole story spoiled. Because that's what it does, it spoils. Just like bad parents. YOU'LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!

One Upon a Pixel [gametrailers]

Thanks to Jaker, the Joker's less clown-y brother. No makeup for him!

Nov 13 2009 Happy Friday The 13th!: Ecko Jason Hoodie

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Happy Friday the 13th everyone! To celebrate this un-momentous occasion here's a $98 Jason hoodie by Marc Ecko. Watch out for black cats and shit!

Channel the terror of Crystal Lake in this "Jason" hoodie from the Friday the 13th series by Marc Ecko. Bloody full zip-up hoodie with breathing holes and mesh eyeholes for visibility. Four button flap pockets, flocking, leather straps and metal rivets, rib knit sleeve cuffs and hem.

Cool. Unfortunately, it's a little late to order one to wear today. Unlesssssss you have a time machine and could go back a week. But if you could do that why wouldn't you go back and kill Hitler in a Jason hoodie. That little mustachio'd twink will never know what hit him! (It was your machete)

Hit the jump for three more shots of this very quality product.

Continue Reading " Happy Friday The 13th!: Ecko Jason Hoodie "

Nov 11 2009 Japan Firm Makes Custom Barcode Art

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D-Barcode is a Japanese firm that will design your barcode to look cooler than the standard bunch of lines. These are some examples of their work. But it doesn't come cheap! And, despite what you may have read above the urinal, neither do I.

It can be pretty pricey, though: $1,500 for a design, and $200 a year for licensing fees. If you want a code all your own, that can even cost as much as $4,000.

Now I know what you're thinking, "pfft, I could do that". But that's where you're wrong, because you and I both know you couldn't. Remember kindergarten? Remember how you couldn't keep the color inside the lines? Your parents thought you were retarded. Dad still does.

In Japan, humble barcodes are works of art [dvice]

Nov 11 2009 Why Not?: Interchangeable Mustache Pillow

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The $60 Mr. Moustache pillow is a pillow that comes with interchangeable mustaches for the dapper bastard on the front. They're made by Etsy seller salliyenglanddesign and are fun to kiss, even if your roommate is watching. Don't be jealous just cause I gotta man!

The delightful Mr.Moustache pillow comes with four interchangeable velcro moustaches (Fu Manchu,trucker,gentleman,& salt 'n'pepper!) and a clear plastic storage pocket on the back!


Each velcro moustache is hand trimmed from faux fur, and each Mr.Moustache pillow is handmade in the s.e.d studio in Grand Rapids, Michigan!

Cool. I bought a pair so I can pretend I'm sleeping between two guys. But I make them wear different mustaches because sleeping with twins would be weird. And by weird I mean awesome. I can't quit you -- or you!

Hit the jump for two more shots of the irresistible handsomeness.

Continue Reading " Why Not?: Interchangeable Mustache Pillow "

Nov 5 2009 Handy, Creepy: The Hand-le Door Handle

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The Hand-le is a door handle created by Amsterdam designer Naomi Thellier de Poncheville. It reminds me of the dog leash hand and is a slap in the incredibly handsome faces of lefties like myself. But that's not what's important. What's important is that my dad sent me this tip. I could have sworn I told him I was a used car salesman! Love you, dad.

Hit the jump for a closeup.

Continue Reading " Handy, Creepy: The Hand-le Door Handle "

Nov 5 2009 This Isn't Your Grandma's Cell Phone! Yes It Is.

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If there's one thing old people love it's soft food. If there's another it's stuff with giant-ass buttons so they can push the right one with their shaky, arthritic fingers. Aaaaaand I've officially depressed myself. Good times. Anyway, this is a cell phone for old people and people with fat fingers. Or, as we like to call them in the hand modeling biz, Vienna digits.

The 6380 Senior Mobile Phone ($75 USD) does actually have a few handy features, including a built in flashlight, and a giant "SOS" button on the back that can automatically dial a pre-set emergency number, and emit a loud warning alarm. It's also got a minimal display with large on-screen fonts, and a whopping 128×60 screen resolution.

I kind of want one. Not that I have fat fingers, because I don't. I'm just clumsy. One time I tried ordering a pizza and ended up spending an hour on a phone sex line. DAMN YEAH I WANT PEPPERONI ON THAT!

Hit the jump for two more shots of the latest in geriatric communication technology.

Continue Reading " This Isn't Your Grandma's Cell Phone! Yes It Is. "

Nov 4 2009 Suck It, Mad Men!: Awesome Play-Doh Ads

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This is a series of amazing Play-Doh ads that were spotted in a magazine in Singapore. They were only printed a single time, because when parent company Hasbro caught wind that somebody in their Singapore office had approved the ads, they shit Play-Doh. Then it hit the fan. Now it looks like Mr. Bill exploded in their office.

Hit the jump for four more awesome ads, and a link if you want to read about the ado the campaign caused.

Continue Reading " Suck It, Mad Men!: Awesome Play-Doh Ads "

Nov 4 2009 Living At The Airport: Luggage Turns To Sofa

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This 4-piece luggage ensemble by Dutch designer Erik De Nijs forms a comfortable little sofa when you're not dragging it around the airport. Sure it's all mixy-matchy, but maybe Erik is blind and the woman at the fabric store didn't have the heart to tell him he chose four different patterns. Of course she didn't -- like women have hearts! BWHAHAHAHAHA!! Or motor skills. BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Suited Case by Erik De Nijs [likecool]

Thanks to Stephy, who once slept in an airport for two weeks straight and has ridden the baggage conveyor belt to the end.

Nov 3 2009 Laser-Cut Cash Rules Everything Around Me, CREAM, Get The Money, Dolla Dolla Bills Y'all

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Scott Campbell is a famous tattoo artist who recently held an art exhibit appropriately titled 'make it rain', which featured stacks of laser-cut dollar bills. I dig it. And, not to brag or anything, but I made it rain once. Yeah, using an old indian dance. I AM THE L337 WEATHER WIZARD! Admit it, Harry. ADMIT IT OR GET ANOTHER LIGHTNING BOLT!

Hit the jump for five more of the awesomeness.

Continue Reading " Laser-Cut Cash Rules Everything Around Me, CREAM, Get The Money, Dolla Dolla Bills Y'all "

Nov 2 2009 I Like: The Periodic Table Of Picnic-ery

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This is the periodic table of picnic-ery. I like how the makers went the extra mile and even shaped the table correctly. Because if I'd have made it it would have just been a rectangle. On fire. I dine fiery al fresco!

Table of Elements: Get Some Chemistry In Your Next BBQ [uberreview]

Oct 30 2009 I'm Digging It: Anatomical Furniture Designs

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This is a sweet furniture ensemble designed by Vladi Rapaport that features a skull chair, brain ottoman and spine lamp. I want them all. And by all I mean just the skull chair. But I want it throne-sized and it needs to shoot flames.

A collection of products inspired by the Dutch "vanitas" still life paintings from the 16th and 17th century. The characteristic type of symbolic still life painting is the one where the symbols of emptiness, time and death were placed on the canvas as a reminder of the vanity of one's earthly life.

Listen, I don't know about Dutch symbolism or whatever but I do know an ottoman I want to kick the hell out of when I see one. And that brain, my dear Watson, is one such ottoman. *kick kick* You like that? You will never build an empire!

Hit the jump for one more shot of the awesome.

Continue Reading " I'm Digging It: Anatomical Furniture Designs "

Oct 30 2009 I'd Twist It: A Nintendo Rubik's Cube

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This is a Nintendo Rubik's Cube made by deviantARTist r4r3truffle. Instead of just different colored sides it has elements from some of the most popular games over the years. I like it. Of course, I've never actually solved a Rubik's Cube before. Which, I SAID I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

r4r3truffle's DeviantART Page

Thanks to matt, who solves Rubik's cubes like Jesus's father -- with a hammer.

Oct 28 2009 Just Ordered Two Cases: Dinosaur Condoms

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That's right, dinosaur shaped condoms. Available from Willy Wardrobe (probably NSFW, but also has a bunch of other novelty condoms), each Stegosaurus E-Rex will set you back £2.50 (~$4) and is not recommended for re-use (even though you and I both know you totally will anyway).

A bit of a sexual fossil? Then this dinosaur condom is for you!


Warning: Sold as novelty only. Product may be used during intercourse although there is no guarantee that it will prevent pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

Also, not responsible for lost spines.

Okay, so I made that last part up. Still, you've got to wonder. WONDER WHY NOBODY WAS MAKING THESE EARLIER! Plus, they like a perfect fit to me. Pfft, don't even act like your penis doesn't have feet too.

Product Site

Thanks to Starchitect, Ezrail, david, DatsMark, Xavire, Ross, John, sara, Jody and clipper, for knowing me all too well.

Oct 27 2009 Clever, Very Clever: Three Worf Moon T-Shirt

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Well there's the original three wolf moon t-shirt, a three keyboard cat moon t-shirt, and a three Teen Wolf moon t-shirt, so why not a three Worf moon t-shirt? I have no idea if these are actually for sale, but send me $25 and a blank t-shirt and I'll see if I can't iron one on for you. Sadly, I won't be able to.

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Thanks to Blastphemer and Riker, who don't have to wear shirts because they're so hairy. Gross.

Oct 26 2009 Homeless Style: Cardboard Print Bed Covers

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Ever wanted a bedspread that's printed to look like a bunch of cardboard boxes taped together? Who hasn't!? And one that looks like a snake pit, am I right? No -- just me? What the hell's the matter with you people?

This high quality duvet cover features a photographic print of a cardboard box. This produces an extremely sharp image that stays flexible because the ink is printed directly in the cotton. The image will stay crisp after frequent washing.


The cotton has a thread count of 144 threads per square inch, so it's soft to the touch virtually non-iron. The duvet cover is produced in Pakistan and child labour is not used.

30% of the gross profits go to Centrepoint, the UK charity for homeless young people aged 16-25 (charity number 292411). Every night Centrepoint provides support and housing for 800 vulnerable homeless young people.

I actually kind of like it, and $81 for a king size ain't bad (plus $10/pillowcase). Of course, you're going to have a lot of explaining to do if you try bringing a girl home. Namely, why there's a homeless person sleeping in your room. I'm a drifter, okay?!

Product Site

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who made a quilt out of trashbags but it blew away and got stuck on top of a light pole.