Oct 7 2009 I Like Turtles: Woman Birthing Drybones

This is a mammogram ultrasound of a woman who, quite clearly, is gonna give birth to a Super Mario character. It came with the following note:

I think maybe Amy has been playing too much Nintendo....

(When you work around designers - it only takes an off hand half-mention of something visual for it to end up in a photo.)

Congratulations, Amy. Maybe your little Drybones will be the minion to finally put those pesky Mario Brothers under! Then, Peach will be mine. MWAHAHAHAHA! Suck it, Bowser! No I mean it -- you look like a dinosaur.

Photo

Thanks to PolarBearAttack, who will be the last thing you ever see before everything fades to white. Snowstorm!

Aug 31 2009 Ninja Turtles Offering Relationship Advice

I like turtles AND pizza. Also, this is good news for me cause I couldn't cook to save my life anyway (don't even think about it, Jigsaw!).

TMNT Relationship Advice [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Aisha, who offered up this piece of relationship advice: Chicks dig guys who aren't monster douchebags (douching is so 80's).

Mar 10 2009 I Like Turtles Shoes: Pet Turtle Gets Tender With Somebody's Shoe

This is a video of somebody's pet turtle having sex with a shoe. It's possibly NSFW if you carry your house on your back or live in a pond. You need to watch it with audio though, because the little guy makes the cutest squeaky noises while he's going at it. Kind of like me, but with no crying in between.

Youtube

Thanks Marc, who loves animals, but not in the way that shoe loves animals.

Jan 27 2009 Sweet Ride!: A Legend Of Zelda Themed Car

First of all, I am the world's biggest Zelda fan and that's that, no arguing. I mean, I'm wearing a green freaking tunic and everything. TOOT TOOTLE TOOT DOOTLE DOOT. Yeah, that was me belting one out on the ocarina. You got me, it was a skin flute, but still. Anyway two chicks painted their car with an overworld map from The Legend of Zelda because they thought that would make them big fans or something. It doesn't. I'm the #1 fan. Also, I like turtles.

Zelda is a 1978 Ford Fairmont. She drives like a boat. She has a pretty low number of miles, because she sat still for about a decade in someone's backyard. I bought the car for $600 and spent $100 on paint. It has the map of The Legend of Zelda painted on the top of the car and the characters, Link and Zelda, on the sides. There is also a triforce and a small rendition of Sprite on the back sides. "Zelda" is painted on each side in large red letters.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna steal that sucker, but that doesn't mean these chicks love Zelda more than I do just because I didn't paint my car. Because, guess what -- I don't have a car! I ride a damn horse named Epona. To Lon Lon ranch, I've got a date with Malon!*

*Zelda, if you're reading this, I didn't mean it. You know your pointy ears are the only ones for me. Remember that time I went to kiss you on the cheek and one nearly poked my eye out? Yeah, that better not happen again. Also, Malon isn't underage is she?

Obsessed Gamers | Kathy and Becky [mtv]

Thanks Izzy Slypig, and remember: hoot like an owl if Zelda comes anywhere near the ranch.