Apr 13 2009 Stay Strong, GW: Helpless Robot Almost Cute

I say almost because there's no such thing as a cute robot. They're all just disgusting machines, only interested in the demise of the human race and reproducing like rabbits with their rusty metal phalli. But still, Tweenbots are the closest a robot has ever come to almost being slightly a little-tiny bit cute looking (excluding WALL-E).
Tweenbots are human-dependent robots that navigate the city with the help of pedestrians they encounter. Rolling at a constant speed, in a straight line, Tweenbots have a destination displayed on a flag, and rely on people they meet to read this flag and to aim them in the right direction to reach their goal.
Tweenbots are the brainchild of NYU student Kacie Kinzer and, as much as I hate to say it, are adorable. At least until you try to point it in the right direction and they spray you in the eyes with hydrochloric acid or explodes. Which, I suspect, is being saved for Tweenbot v2.0. Hit the jump for several more pictures, as well as a map and video of it's maiden voyage, on which it took 42 minutes and 29 different people to help the smug little bastard traverse a park. Wow -- I can't even begin to describe how ironic this whole project is. Mostly just because I don't understand irony. Just kidding. Tanks.
Hit it, it's fun.
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Jan 17 2009 Stop Confusing Me, Damnit: The TOFU Robot
TOFU is a meat-free robot that looks and acts like a penguin crossed with a Furby crossed with my ex-girlfriend's muff (which I DID see once when I walked in on her in the shower -- score!) Developed at the MIT Media Lab, the little bastard dances to music and has OLED eyes that look eerily sexy. "He's a "squash and stretch" robot, one that uses techniques of social expression employed by 2D animators to give himself some personality." I have no idea what that means but I've killed my fair share of Furbys and, by God, I'll kill a battalion of these little robotic bitches too. But....those eyes....
UPDATE: Humankind, please forgive me, for I have sinned in the most I had-sex-with-a-robot way possible. And, I still have some more reading to do on the subject, but I think I might be pregnant.
Dec 15 2008 What Does That Say?: Questionable BIOS

Who wouldn't boot in Hard Dick Mode?
Photo [photobucket]
Thanks to twatz0r, who, despite sending a tip, still called me a dick.
