Oct 30 2009 Making Not So Beautiful Music Together
Ever wanted a toilet seat that looks like a guitar? It's not high on my list of priorities either, but if you already have every other thing in the world maybe it's time for one. Jammin' Johns come in guitar and piano varieties and will set you back about $180. They go perfect in music themed bathrooms. Which -- oh God please tell me you don't have a themed bathroom. Unless it's beach themed, those are fine. I love the little shell soaps!
Hit the shot for another guitar and a shot of a piano.
Oct 23 2009 Okaaaay: Kenwood Mixer/Cooker Combo
Kenwood, a company best known for making the aftermarket car speakers in the back of my truck, is making this kitchen appliance. The Kenwood KM070 Cooking Chef is a mixer/cooker combo, capable of mixing shit together and then heating it up to 140°C (240°F) so you can eat it and get all full and then sit around watching TV with your hand in your pants. I've seen you before! And I liked what I saw.
It looks like your standard mixer, with a large 6.7L bowl capacity and 8 mixing speeds, but it also features an 1100W induction heating system that allows you to cook food directly in the mixing bowl.
Temperatures can be set between 20°C to 140°C for warming or actual cooking, and there's even a steam basket attachment allowing you to prepare an entire meal without ever turning on the stove. The only downside is that once again convenience doesn't come cheap, so you can expect to pay around $1,600+ for the Cooking Chef.
I honestly don't know anything cooking except eating pizza and ice creams, but maybe this is a handy appliance. I don't really know how, but maybe it is. But hey, you could write upward of thirty pages about the things I don't know. Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why did Judas rat to Romans why Jesus slept? Kidding, I know all those. I'm sure there's something though.
Kenwood's Cooking Chef Mixer Takes The Stove Out Of The Equation [ohgizmo]
Aug 21 2009 Creepy: An Edward Cullen Shower Curtain
Because it's a well known fact vampires are pervbags that like to stare at you while you piss, here's a custom Edward Cullen shower curtain. It was handpainted by Etsy seller CustomShowerCurtains and will set you back a cool 75 bones. Now, you may be wondering why I'm posting a Twilight shower curtain in the first place. And the answer to that, my friends, is for the womens. Apparently they love this shit. Also, shoes and cooking. DO I KNOW THEM OR WHAT?!
Thanks to Jay, who caught Bella watching him projectile vomit after a long night of drinking.
Jun 25 2009 BK Ad: The King Used To Be Respectable
In what might be the smartest piece of advertising in recent history (whee, I just posted your whole freaking ad for free!), Burger King has released a print ad for their new Super Sloppy Seven Incher chock full of sexual innuendo. I don't see it, but allegedly it's there.
BK Goes Crude With 7-Inch Burger Ad [newser]
Thanks to solid and Pat, whose minds can't be blown away because they're in a lockbox.
Jan 26 2009 Miniature Vroom Vroom: A Lamborghini ATV
These miniature looking Lamborghini ATVs by Liberty Walk Japan was recently on display at the Tokyo Auto Salon. They're available for sale too, provided you've got $20,000 to drop on an ATV (NTV?) that can't really tackle any terrain whatsoever minus really smooth pavement. Still, you should buy one, I want to steal your rims.
Hit the jump for a couple more of the mini-cruiser.
Continue Reading " Miniature Vroom Vroom: A Lamborghini ATV "
Nov 21 2008 Soda Dispenser Dispenses From The Bottom
This piece of crap from Scotsman Beverage Systems dispenses ice from the top, and soda from the bottom. ZOMG, sorcery! It's supposed to revolutionize the beverage serving industry but it's not going to. What it is going to revolutionize is landfills. The system works thanks to special glasses with a non-return valve in the bottom that are set on top of a special filling unit. Now why is this necessary? Oh right, so Scotsman can charge $6 apiece for the glasses. Can somebody say "shenanigans"? Nice. Now say "Don't worry, I'll pick". Great -- finish it off with an "up the tab". Bartender, you heard the man, keep the bourbon flowing.
Magic system fills glasses from the bottom up somehow [dvice]
Nov 6 2008 20 Years Of Research For This?: Scientists Develop Way To Grow Blue Roses, People With Incurable Diseases Do Not Rejoice
After much trial and tribulation, scientists have finally developed a safe way to grow blue roses. What was wrong with just putting white roses in a vase of water dyed blue with food coloring? Pfft, that's some unscientific bullshit, that's what.
The blooms are genetically modified and have been implanted with a gene that simulates the synthesis of blue pigment in pansies. "They are attracting lots of attention here because they are so unusual."The creation of blue roses - long thought to be impossible - was masterminded by an Australian-based subsidiary of Suntory, a Japanese company.
A blue rose has long been synonymous with the unattainable, from signifying unrequited love in Chinese folklore to its Victorian era connotations of symbolizing a quest for the impossible.
Well thank Jesus. Finally I'll be able to sleep at night knowing scientists may not have cured cancer, but, screw it, roses now come in blue. Your rose color lesson for the day:
Red: Love. Alternatively: I cheated on you.
Pink: Gratitude. Alternatively: I cheated on you with the secretary. Twice.
Orange: Desire. Alternatively: I want somebody else but they're not having it, so l'd like to continue doing you in the interim.
Yellow: Friendship. Alternatively: you have a butter face.
White: Purity. Alternatively: I know you're a filthy whore, but let's pretend anyways.
Lavander: Enchantment. Alternatively: you should be burned at the stake!
Blue: Mystery. Alternatively: f*** you.
World's first blue roses after 20 years of research [telegraph]
Thanks to Momboelitist, who only sends black roses. And then stabs you.
Nov 5 2008 Hummer Tank, Because, Yeah, Just Because
There are many things in this world that simply remain unexplainable. Like why all banana-flavored candy tastes like ass. And also, why the hell anybody would put treads on a Hummer H2T. Hell, or even buy one for that matter. My own poverty aside, what could possibly be cooler than a Hummer with treads? Ha, you're right -- a Hummer with treads on fire.
Hit it for a bunch more of the ridiculousness.
Continue Reading " Hummer Tank, Because, Yeah, Just Because "
Sep 4 2008 WTF!?: Crystal Embedded Contact Lenses
Ah yes, rocks and eyes. I mean, what a perfect match. Enter "Sparkle", a contact lens with tiny Swarovski crystals encrusted around the edge. I've got to admit, this has got to be the most brilliant eye-care product I've seen since pepper spray. Seriously, what could go wrong? Well, besides looking sexy. I'm gonna make myself a pair, I'll let you know how scandalously super-sexified I look.
UPDATE: Okay, so I glued some glitter and broken glass onto my regular contacts. Here goes nothing!
UPDATEDER: Wow, good thing I can type without looking, because I can't see a thing. Seriously though, how long does it take to grow a new pair? Ha, I'm talking actual ball balls now, mistook the paper shredder for a commode.
Sparkle - Swarovski studded contact lenses for blinged vision [bornrich]
Thanks Mary, and I trusted you to lead me to the bathroom. Pfft, some friend you are.
Aug 21 2008 Guitar Hero For DS Modded With A Guitar
We've seen mods for Guitar Hero in the past, but this is the first I've spotted for the DS version. Eric Ruckman, unhappy with the gameplay of Guitar Hero: On Tour decided that, instead of cutting his loses, he'd mod a PS2 Guitar Hero controller to play the game.
As you can see above, that includes a special housing for the DS itself (it's still used for strumming), and even a built-in FM transmitter with its own screen, which lets him pump the audio through his home sound system.
Sweet modding skills Eric, but as the old saying goes, "just because you can, you probably shouldn't have."
Hit the jump to see a video demonstration of the mod in action.
Continue Reading " Guitar Hero For DS Modded With A Guitar "
Jun 10 2008 "Pet Boys" Gaining Popularity In Korea
Pet boys are real guys that put themselves up for "adoption" by South Korean women. It's basically for chicks that want a boyfriend that they can shit on all the time.
Pet Boys, who are often college kids in their 20's, find "Being someone's pet is stress free job with no financial burden at all."The idea came from a Japanese anime story that was popular about 5 years ago. It was about a business woman who always had bad luck in relationships. One day, she decided to take home a young man off the street to live with her as her pet.
Huh? Apparently Pet Boy services are popping up around Korea, and recently a TV show had over 2,200 applicants after advertising Pet Boy positions. This makes no sense whatsoever. All I can gather is that the chicks want a boyfriend they can lock in the closet and treat however they want, and the guys all hope to eventually get some. Ha, good luck guys -- too bad there's a universal taboo against having sex with pets.
Would you Adopt a "Pet Boy"? [weirdasianews]
Thanks Shawn and Rya, now where do I sign myself up for adoption?
Apr 18 2008 iPod Case Looks Meaty, Doesn't Come Cheap
The Mosquito Ruby Pod Rare is an iPod case that looks like it's made of meat. Because, well, some people are sick. It comes packaged like a real steak and costs, get this -- $68! Holy shanksteak, that's a lot for a freaking rubber iPod cover. For $68 I'd expect a filet mignon from the last flying unicorn in Fairyland.
Protect your iPod with exposed, pulsating musculature [bbgadgets]
Mar 5 2008 $500,000 Watch Isn't Worth It, God I'm Poor
The Zenith Defy Xtreme Tourbillon ZERO-G El Primero watch has a long name, costs $500,000, and I don't get it.
In a veritable technical revolution, ZENITH Manufacture has devised the Zero-G system, in other words zero gravity! The gyroscope cage Tourbillon comprises an escapement mounted on cardan joints rather like marine chronometers. The instrument, which is sensitive to changes of position, is kept in a constant horizontal position, thereby ensuring optimal amplitude for the spiral balance-wheel. Coordination is provided by an invention patented by ZENITH: a second gear train is the reference point for the swinging of the escapement axles and a differential gear with inverter compensates all the relative movements of the framework. The Zero-G Tourbillon, whose cage alone comprises 166 of the 294 parts that make up the device, 10 conical geared wheels with spiral teeth and 6 ball-bearings, was developed from the El Primero automatic caliber that beats at the record speed of 36,000 vibrations an hour.
Did that make any sense? I didn't actually bother reading past the part the word "veritable", but that's because I knew I wouldn't understand what they were talking about. So someone give it to me straight -- does this watch allow you to travel back in time or not? Because if the answer is not then it's a freaking ripoff. Besides, what sort of a-hole with $500,000 to spend on a watch needs to know what time it is anyway?
Tourbillon Wrist Watch [e-potpourri]
Thanks to Patricio, who actually wears a million dollar watch, for the tip
