Oct 23 2009 Lies!: Germans Have Broken Speed Of Light

Two German scientists claim to have broken the speed of light. They are liars and should lose their science licenses. What do you mean you don't need a license to practice science? WELL YOU SHOULD!

According to Einstein's special theory of relativity, it would require an infinite amount of energy to propel an object at more than 186,000 miles per second.

However, Dr Gunter Nimtz and Dr Alfons Stahlhofen, of the University of Koblenz, say they may have breached a key tenet of that theory.

The pair say they have conducted an experiment in which microwave photons - energetic packets of light - travelled "instantaneously" between a pair of prisms that had been moved up to 3ft apart.

The scientists were investigating a phenomenon called quantum tunnelling, which allows sub-atomic particles to break apparently unbreakable laws.

Dr Nimtz told New Scientist magazine: "For the time being, this is the only violation of special relativity that I know of."

Yeah, no. Is the universe still here? Then these two crackpots didn't shoot shit faster than the speed of light. And speaking of shooting shit faster than the speed of light: the new Black Jack taco from Taco Bell. Plumber!!

'We have broken speed of light' [telegraph]

Thanks to Allegro, who once ran out for beer and returned before he even left (got hit be a street sweeper and passed out in a ditch for a whole day).

Nov 24 2008 Couple Sues McDonald's After Leaving Cell Phone At Store And Their Private Pictures Show Up Online (Suprise, Surprise!)

Arkansas native Phillip Sherman and his wife Tina are suing McDonald's because Phillip left his cell phone at a restaurant and the nudey pictures of his wife that were on it headed straight for the internet (they always do).

The suit was filed Friday and seeks a jury trial and $3 million in damages for suffering, embarrassment and the cost of having to move to a new home (due to alleged stalkers).

The suit says that Phillip Sherman left the phone the Fayetteville store in July and that employees promised to secure it until he returned.

Now I hate to call the Shermans liars and cheats, but they most certainly are. Can somebody say chili finger? Or, in this case, cheeseburger ass?

Nude pics in phone lost at McDonald's get online [associatedpress]

Thanks to Lobster, who, despite his inherent deliciousness, couldn't find the pics online.

Nov 7 2008 IGN Names Wal-Mart #1 Video Game Retailer

According to a recent IGN poll of 2,000 gamers (that's not enough), Wal-Mart is the go to for buying video games. I find it hard to believe, but I find a lot of things hard to believe. Moon landing my ass -- I'm gonna be first!

Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, is also king when it comes to videogame sales.

To prove it, they've linked to a chart showing that 62% of respondents bought games at Wal-Mart, compared to 54% who bought games at Best Buy or Gamestop. Only 17% of the people surveyed bought games from Blockbuster, where they're dirty and used.

Wal-Mart? Really? I don't like it. Nope, the only thing I buy there are late-night shopping cart races. Beat you to the toy department! Also, let's try to return something we bought on eBay.

Wal-Mart declared 'king' of videogame sales [dvice]