Aug 5 2009 I WANT TO EAT MY LIPS: Bacon Lip Balm

MORE: bacon , different strokes for different folks , hmm , i can't stop eating them! , kiss me you fool , lips , meat , mouth , mouth candy , okay , om nom nom , sticks , sticks of meat , sure why not , tastey

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What do you get when you cross Cheetos lip balm and bacon flavored lube? A BACON-CHEESE ORGY TO REMEMBER, AM I RIGHT? God, I sure hope I'm not. You people are freaks. Anyway, bacon lip balm is exactly what it sounds like: bacon flavored lip balm from the porky purveyors over at J&D. A 4-pack will set you back $13, but it's gonna take a lot more than that to fill you up! I'm a pretty skinny guy and I still ate ten sticks for breakfast. PLUS TWO ROCKS AND SOME DIRT.

Amazon Product Site
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J&D's Bacon Lip Balm [uncrate]

Thanks to Rémy, Ste, tkuper and PrestickNinja, who are smart enough to know hotdogs aren't really just assholes and lips. There are elbows in there too, you know.

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Jan 5 2009 Mmmm, Piggy: Bacon (Gum)Balls

MORE: bacon , chewy , delicious , gum , i can't stop eating them! , it would take gum 7 years to fully digest if you didn't just shit it out , mmm , mouth , mouth candy , okay , pig , sure why not , yes please , yummy

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Let's face it, women find nothing hotter than kissing a man whose breath smells like bacon. It not only indicates great wealth, but a refined palate and good sense of meat. So, before your next match of tonsil tennis, how about hitting a few bacon balls? Two 22-balled tins will set you back $7. Alternatively, this 3-balled ten will set you back $40 (extra for really freaky deaky shit). Book soon ladies, my evenings fill up quick.

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Thanks to Manwai, who once blew a 40-gumball bubble and used it to float to Baconland.

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