Feb 17 2009 Screw It, I'm Tired Of Living: Crane Pull Ups
This is a video of some joker doing pull ups hanging from a crane that is way up high in the sky. Like a bird, except metal and painted red. Okay, like Bubo, the owl in Clash of the Titans, except he was silver and gold and had beady little eyes. Whatever, I am the Analogy King! Anyway, every time the dude goes back down after a pull up I thought he was going to fall. But he didn't, and that made me very sad.
Thanks to The Jerk, who once did two thousand crunches in a row and then puked.
Feb 10 2009 ZOMG, I'm Bidding: Mr. Miyagi's Stuff On eBay
Pat Morita, best known for portraying Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid series, passed away in 2005. And somewhere, in heaven, he's still catching flies with chopsticks. And somewhere, here on earth (Las Vegas, Nevada), his widow is selling his personal effects on eBay. This happens to be a Viking pipe puffed on by Mr. Miyagi himself -- I'm bidding!
YOU ARE BIDDING ON A GREAT PIECE FROM THE ESTATE OF LATE ACTOR PAT MORITA. I AM THE WIDOW AND TRUSTEE OF HIS ESTATE. I HAVE BEEN OFFERING FILM MEMORABILIA. AFTER MANY REQUESTS TO LIST SOME OF HIS PERSONAL EFFECTS I HAVE BEEN DOING SO RECENTLY.
OFFERED HERE IS A GENUINE MEERSCHAUM SMOKING PIPE WITH THE ORIGNAL FELT LINED CASE. THE PIPE WAS USED VERY LITTLE BY MR. MORITA. I PURCHASED IT AS A GIFT TO HIM FOR HIS BIRTHDAY ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO. HE ALWAYS USED TO SAY "THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE USED" BUT HE ENJOYED IT NEVER THE LESS.
Haha, "enjoyed it never the less" is right. She's talking about that reefer. You know, marijuana. And, in honor of Mr. Miyagi, I am buying this pipe, getting high, and waxing my car. Who's with me? Okay good, you bring the weed and elbow grease.
eBay Auction
and
Mr. Miyagi's other auctions
Thanks to Kyle, who allegedly owns Mr. Miyagi's headband. I'll fight you for it!
Jan 29 2009 Unhappy Virgin Airways Passenger Writes Richard Branson Complaint Letter About Meal
A Virgin Airways passenger, thoroughly upset with the meal and service during a flight, took matters into his own hand, and wrote Sir Richard Branson a personal complaint letter about the experience. An exerpt:
So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what's on offer.
I'll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it's Christmas morning and you're sat their with your final present to open. It's a big one, and you know what it is. It's that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.Only you open the present and it's not in there. It's your hamster Richard. It's your hamster in the box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt
I just read an article this morning that said the customer actually got a job offer by Virgin to be the food critic for potential in-flight meals. It's a fact: complaint letters really do make dreams come true. And also, Disney. I always wanted to puke on a roller coaster!
Hit the jump to read the whole, lengthy letter, including reference pictures. It's basically the same thing I would have done, except with less cussing and threatening "to open a whole bag of airplane peanuts on that ass".
Jan 21 2009 I'm Tired Of Life Anyway: Wingsuit Madness
MUST WATCH, UNBELIEVABLE ACTION.
Wingsuits: just like being a bird, except no bird is dumb enough to do that shit.
UPDATE: A cardinal just flew into the window. Superbowl omen!?
Thanks to The Jerk, Jim and Phil, who don't need to almost die to have a good time, video games are enough.
Jan 7 2009 Time Flies!: An Artsy, Steampunkish Watch
Deviantartist sadwonderland went and made a steampunk styled wristwatch. While it doesn't look super steampunky, I still like the style. Hell, I'd wear it if I was a woman. Or, haha, home alone with the door locked and shades pulled tight. I'm not kidding.
This is a fancy steampunk-style wristwatch, fully functioning, with a new battery in it all ready to go!
A pair of angelic wings and decorative clock cogs frame the timepiece, and a charm chain hangs below, carrying a cog and a small victorian heart.Perfect for costuming or fancy time-travel parties!
I'm digging those wings. And you know what they say -- time flies when you're wearing a steampunk watch! What do you mean they don't say that? Well what do they say? Toy boat ten times fast? Fine! Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boyt, toy boyt, toyboyt, toyboyt, toyboyt, toyboyt! Oh, now everyone in the coffee shop is looking at me funny. F*** you, people, I'm a blogger damnit!
Lestrade Watch [deviantart]
Thanks to KXHone, who doesn't need a winged watch for time to fly, just alcohol.
Jan 2 2009 I Believe I Can Fly: Plane Mail Postcards
The Postcard Aeroplane is a $7 balsa wood postcard from suckUK that you can send to a friend or former lover. Then, when they receive it, they can punch out the plane parts and fly your message to the moooooooon. One time my grandpa mailed a coconut. To Saturn! Can you tell I've been huffing? I have. I made resolutions! I broke them!
Balsa wood postcard transforms into flying model glider [dvice]
Dec 8 2008 Build Your Own Paper Airplane Launcher
Want to launch paper airplanes but don't have any arms? Then good luck folding one in the first place. But for those of you that are lazy or just don't know when to let go comes the $18 Electric Paper Plane Launcher from Urban Outfitters.
Ready for take off. Take your paper airplane experience to electrifying new heights with The Electric Paper Plane Launcher! This fun kit was designed at Middlesex University, one of the leading design Universities in the UK. With simple assemble, you can discover how spinning motors and plastic discs can be used to launch a plane at over 30 mph!
Oh boy, I can't wait to discover how spinning motors and plastic disks can be used to launch a plane! You think it's anything like discovering how spinning motors and sharp metal disks can be used to cut your freaking fingers off?
Thanks to krabivana, who launches planes the old fashioned way, with explosives.
Nov 25 2008 Man Crosses Gorge With Jetpack, No Lasers
Eric Scott sped across the 1,500-foot-wide Royal Gorge in southern Colorado at a speed of 75 mph. With a jetpack. It took him 21 seconds and the bastard didn't even have a parachute because he's a stupid idiot. Also, this feat isn't very impressive. Anybody can jetpack over a gorge, but who can skateboard over one? Because one time I ollied over a recycling bin in my driveway. And broke my arm. True story. I have a titanium plate and a bunch of screws in there now. Oh my god -- I'm a freaking robot! Quick, off with the arm! We're running out of time -- just kill me! Softly, with your love. *wink*
Hit the jump for a video of the spectacle, which I found slightly disappointing (and I LOVE jetpacks).
Continue Reading " Man Crosses Gorge With Jetpack, No Lasers "
Nov 21 2008 Record Base Jump Off The Burj Dubai
Two Guys Jumped Off the Burj Dubai and Lived to Tell About It [gizmodo]
Nov 18 2008 Alien/Dragon Cars Gaining Popularity In Russia. Also, Remaining A Virgin, Vodka.
Apparently in Krasnoyarsk, Russia, the youth are obsessed with pimping out their cars with dragons, which is probably one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Dinosaurs, sure, but dragons? What are you, 10?
Thanks to some really imaginative car lovers with tons of time to kill, the youth of the Russian town get to witness some of the wildest car art in the world.Dragon Cars, as they are called, are apparently a real hoot in that neck of the woods and even bald guys with mean looking cars get all the chicks. Now that's what I call a culture shock!
No, dragon cars and dumb bastards getting chicks is not a culture shock. A culture shock is a worn-panty vending machine. *ahem* Japan. I <3 you -- call me. xoxo
Hit the jump for several more of dragon cars, including one of a bald guy smoking a hookah.
Oct 30 2008 Oh My God, I'm Floating!: A Hover Chair
The Lounger is a $9,600 floating chair that will be on display at Britain's Stuff Live gadget show this weekend.
Inventor Keith Dixon, of Sussex-based Hoverit Ltd, said he was inspired as a child by the anti-gravity Landspeeder vehicles in the "Star Wars" films.
"The sensation you feel as you lie back and close your eyes is totally different -- like floating on a cloud," said a Stuff Live spokesman. Its 6,000 pound ($9,620) price tag may bring visitors back down to earth with a bump, however.
Floating on a cloud, huh? More like floating on a piece of hard molded plastic. Last time I felt like I was floating on a cloud I was getting my wisdom teeth pulled and high as Benjamin Franklin's kite on laughing gas. I jusht bit frew muh lip!
Rise above economic woes with the hover chair [reuters]
Thanks to Jack, who can hover without magnets. He's a magician!
Oct 15 2008 Another Day, Another Flying Car
Another day, another flying car. Although the good people over at Terrafugia aren't actually calling it a flying car. They're calling it a "roadable aircraft" because they're a bunch of asshats. Anyway, it's a flying freaking car.
The vehicle, set to go on sale next year, will cruise smoothly on the road and through the sky. It will have four wheels, Formula One-style suspension, and a pair of 10-foot-wide wings that fold up when it switches from air to asphalt.
The Transition will run on gas, have a flight range of 460 miles, and is expected to sell at right around $194,000. Tests are still being completed, and the first Transition will take to the skies in November, with customers that put deposits down seeing their vehicles in late 2009. And, for those of us that didn't put deposits down, we can expect to hear about the first crash around the same time.
Oct 6 2008 Tallest Lego Tower Record Already Beaten
Sometimes victory is fleeting. You have to realize that you can't have the tallest LEGO tower forever, and that some jerks from Vienna are probably gonna trump you within months of the feat. And that's exactly what happened. Hundreds of children helped construct the tower to celebrate the 100 Years of Friends of Children (WTF?) festival. And you know what? The kids didn't even have the common courtesy to blow the other tower out of the water. Nope, they just made theirs 7" taller, for a height of 96.72 feet. You see, that's the matter with kids these days, they're freaking lazy. If they're not playing video games, they're just barely beating world records. Seriously, somebody should build one to the damn moon already. Imagine -- a LEGO tower six miles high!
Lego Tower Record Broken [uberreview]
Thanks to Delphine, who's gonna help me start construction ASAP.
Sep 26 2008 Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack
Yves "Fusion Man" Rossey successfully crossed the English Channel with a jetpack today. This is one small pew for man, one giant PEW PEW PEW for mankind.
Rossy, a pilot who normally flies an Airbus airliner, crossed the 22 miles between Calais and Dover at speeds of up to 120 mph in 13 minutes, his spokesman said.
Awesome. And as a guy who has made his girlfriend wear a jetpack during sex, I've got to tell you: don't do it from behind.
Hit the jump for a video.
Continue Reading " Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack "
Sep 12 2008 My Turn, My Turn!: A Human Catapult
A couple weeks ago we saw the AirKick human catapult,and today we've got a video of the homemade variety. I don't really have much to say except they didn't make it powerful enough. You'd have to chuck a body at least twice that hard if you expect to damage a castle.
Homemade Human Catapult Action - Don't Try This at Home [uberreview]
Sep 5 2008 Epic Failure: How Not To Parachute
This is a video of basejumper Hans Lange vampire suiting around in Norway. Everything goes smoothly until his parachute fails to deploy properly and he ends up tumbling down the mountainside until he's stopped by a tree. He caught it all on film thanks to a helmet cam. Hans, you are one lucky mother -- an improperly deployed parachute is better than no deployment at all. Seriously, I went on one of those discount skydiving adventures once, and, long story short: they pushed me out of the plane with a freaking bookbag. Thankfully, my ghost is a hell of a blogger.
Sep 4 2008 Check Live Traffic Cams With iPhone App
Hate driving in traffic? Get a job where you don't have to commute. But for the rest of us, the ones that live 8 miles from work and spend 50 minutes getting there, there's the, uh, Metro. No wait, there's an iPhone application. Yeah, it's called Mobileyes and it can access live traffic feeds so you can see a bunch of cars sitting bumped to bumper. Now That's What I Call Hits Volume 14!
Current cities where this is available are: Detroit, Hartford, Houston, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Knoxville, Los Angeles, New York, and Washington, D.C. while other cities will eventually be added. Depending on the speed of your connection the app can show low, medium or high resolution images.
Let me tell you, there's nothing safer than browsing pictures of traffic while you're driving, it just makes good sense. And you know what else does? Flying to work instead of driving. Seriously cheapass, just buy a freaking cape already.
Mobileyes iPhone App Can (Potentially) Help You Avoid Traffic [ohgizmo]
Aug 28 2008 Another Day, Another Winged Cat
Another day, another cat sprouts wings.
A tabby from the Qingyan province in China recently sprouted a pair of fur-covered wings on his back during a hot-weather spell, the U.K.'s Daily Mail reported.
One cat owner, identified only as Feng, claimed her pet's wings were the result of stress from too many females desiring to mate with him, the Mail reported.
F***, now I'll never grow wings.
Hit the jump for a picture of Feng's winged cat (a different one) from a while ago, and a link to its story.
