Mar 13 2009 Vroom Vroom: Pow-Pow-POWER WHEELS!

This is a video of some folks riding over-powered Power Wheels. It looks like they're having about as much fun as one can have in the snow without a Woolly Mammoth. Which, I am happy to announce, is like *this close* to being cloned. Suffice it to say SOMEBODY has been loading up on Trojan Magnums -- and I think it's you!

Over-Powered Power Wheels [liveleak]

Thanks to Julian, who drove his Power Wheels right into a telephone pole and lived to come back and cut the pole down with a chainsaw.

Jan 7 2009 6-Year Old Misses Bus, Steals Family Car, Learned To Drive Playing Grand Theft Auto

A six-year old (possibly Lil Derrick) missed the school bus and did what any responsible, education-loving tyke would do -- stole his parents' 2005 Ford Taurus and drive his damn self. It almost brings a tear to my eye. Almost. Super villains don't cry though. I ain't no little bitch!

He made at least two 90-degree turns, passed several cars and ran off the rural two-lane road several times before hitting an embankment and utility pole about a mile and a half from school.

The boy told police he learned to drive playing Grand Theft Auto and Monster Truck Jam video games.

"He was very intent on getting to school," said Northumberland County Sheriff Chuck Wilkins. "When he got out of the car, he started walking to school. He did not want to miss breakfast and PE."

Damn, what a student he must be! I think we've got a future rocket scientist on our hands here. Just kidding, he'll be locked up in no time.

6-year-old takes family car after missing bus [ajc]

Thanks to Chris and Kevin, who never stole cars to get to school because those mutherf***ers had jetpacks, yo!