Jul 25 2009 OM NOM NOM NOM: Rubik's Cube Sandwich
Ever wondered what a Rubik's Cube would look like in sandwich form? Well now you know: delicious.
The "Rubix Cubewich" contains "cubes of pastrami, kielbasa, pork fat, salami, and two types of cheddar.
Did that say pork fat? Because I think I'm in love.
Rubik's Cube Sandwich [seriouseats]
Thanks to Leanna, who's making a Battle Risk sandwich and sending it to me.
Jun 13 2009 Meat Hero: Man Gets Struck By Lightning While BBQing, Only Utters 'Sausages'
Eric Brocklebank, 64, got struck by lightning while manning the barbecue. And what did he have to say about it? Sausages.
"It was like an implosion inside my body."
"There was so much pressure inside of me and I couldn't see properly. I could just make out the faint outline of people heading my way."It came in through my arm, which is burnt, then it must have gone down through my body and out through my feet."
He added: "I was told the only thing I could say as I was drifting in and out of consciousness was 'sausages'."
Somebody get this man an award. Not only does he brave the elements to cook some delicious meat, but he gets struck by lightning and SOMEHOW KEEPS HIS BURNT EYES ON THE SAUSAGE-Y PRIZE. My God they must have been delicious.
Lightning bolt heats up BBQ [thesun]
Thanks to Vask, who nominates Eric for a 2009 Wiener Award.
May 29 2009 Make Anything Taste Delicious: Baconnaise
I've known about Baconnaise for a while but I've been getting this tip pretty steadily for like a year now so I guess I can't keep it all to myself anymore. Baconnaise: bacon flavored mayonnaise. From J&D foods (who also make bacon lube and BaconSalt (see the salt after the jump), a 3-pack of 15-ounce jars in on sale from Amazon for the low, low artery clogging price of $11. And with the combined power of Baconnaise and Baconsalt, you really can make anything taste like bacon! And I do mean anything. Oh hoooooney!
Hit the jump to see the salt.
Continue Reading " Make Anything Taste Delicious: Baconnaise "
May 23 2009 Delicious: The Spoonful Of Cereal USB Drive
This is a USB drive that looks like a spoonful of cereal. And, just like Mary Poppins would say, "a spoonful of cereal helps the....WHY ARE THERE GRAPE NUTS IN MY LAPTOP, YOU LITTLE BITCHES?!?"
Hit the jump to see a video of the cereal in action.
Continue Reading " Delicious: The Spoonful Of Cereal USB Drive "
Feb 7 2009 What Should I Eat?: The Bacon Flowchart
If it's too small click HERE for the full-size version.
This has been floating around the intarwebz for a while now, so you may have already seen it. If you have, good for you -- where was the tip earlier, huh? Exactly, you're a jerk. Now buy me a beer. Wait, I want a liquor drink. A pink one.
Bacon Flowchart [ummyeah]
Thanks to Yopoleo, who chose bacon over Beggin' Strips 3 out of 4 times in a blind taste test.
Jan 23 2009 Mmmm, Sacky: A Delectable Sack Boy Cake
I remember being super freaking excited about the release of Little Big Planet, but I ended up never buying it because I made my own Sack Boy out of a potpourri sachet and he's about as much fun and odoriferous as I can stand. Well Geekologie reader Kelli made her own Sack Boy as well -- in cake form!
I made the cake for my friend Marchelo's birthday dinner last night, and everyone loved it! It was a basic lemon pudding cake with chocolate fudge frosting, all in all 2.5 cakes and 3 cans of frosting went into this creation!
Now I know what you're thinking, "my God, I want to gobble that sack", and believe me -- I'm right there with you.
Hit the jump for a bunch more, including some of the build, along with a link to a larger gallery.
Continue Reading " Mmmm, Sacky: A Delectable Sack Boy Cake "
Jan 12 2009 Move Over Bacon-Cheese Roll, There's A New Heartstopping Sherriff In Town: The Bacon Explosion Will Kill You Dead
HIT THE JUMP TO SEE THE DELICIOUS BACON-EXPLOSION MAKING PROCESS!
If you thought the bacon-cheese roll was bad, you need to check out the Bacon Explosion. This bacon-y treat is so dangerously delicious it'll make your freaking heart explode and still have your corpse begging for a second helping. It's basically a bacon weave made out of a pound of bacon, filled with 2 pounds of Italian sausage and another pound of bacon. And, if you can't tell by the way I'm ogling my monitor, it's making me amorous. I think it's time for another haiku.
Bacon ExplosionI want you in me badly
Call an ambulance
And that, my friends, is how you woo your dinner. To the bedroom my bacon-y goddess -- it's time to pork!
Hit the jump for a bunch of pictures of the process and a link to the in-depth recipe.
Dec 29 2008 Mmmm, Gutsy: A Thorax Cake
Damn that looks delicious. I just want to eat it up. Then slather the leftovers on a naked chick, take some moderately tasteful(!) erotic photographs, and sneak out a window while she cleans up.
The plan was for each organ to be made out of a different kind of cake and to secrete a different color of fluid when it was cut into. Previous heart cakes have bled fresh, homemade raspberry sauce. Sadly, the organs didn't bleed as well as I had hoped when I cut the cake, as each organ was relatively small and couldn't hold much sauce. Also all the moving around after filling the organs made it hard to keep the sauce contained in the little cavities I hollowed out. The heart bled pretty well, but the other organ fluids weren't very dramatic.
Heart - orange cake with raspberry sauce
Lungs - apple spice cake with strawberry sauce
Kidneys - orange cake with blueberry sauce
Stomach - ginger cake with mango sauce
Liver - chocolate cake with kiwi sauce
Small Intestine - jelly roll with red currant jelly
My God does that sound good. And I'm not even a big fan of purification organs. Now pipe organs -- that's another story. DOOT DOO DOO DOO DOO -- DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT!! Anybody? Phantom of the Opera!
Hit the jump for a ton more of the construction and final product.
Dec 26 2008 Macs Vs. PCs: Transform And Battle It Out!
This is a video of Macs and PCs transforming into little robot people and battling to the death. Who wins? You'll have to watch to find out! Read: I stopped watching halfway through to go scavenge for food. Well sandwiches don't make themselves! *ahem* Ladies, that was a hint. Crunchy PB, boysenberry jelly -- cut into triangles.
Thanks to *nix and Bustani, who can both transform from video gamer to sex machine in the time it takes to push pause.
Dec 26 2008 Now That's A Tasty Website: The Bacon-izer
Want to add some delicious flair to any website? Then just type http://bacolicio.us/ before a site's URL (e.g. http://bacolicio.us/http://www.geekologie.com/), and presto, you're licking fingerprints off your monitor. Right now the bacon is wearing a Santa hat in the spirit of the holidays, but I believe typically the delectable strip is naked. Oh, and esurance -- you're being charged for the extra ad in the picture.
baconize websites with bacolicio.us [technabob]
Dec 23 2008 Building A Low Carb Gingerbread House
With meat instead of gingerbread! And not just any meat -- deliciously processed meat. Mmmm! The whole abode is held together with a delectable mortar, which you can make yourself using the following recipe:
Wifezilla's Low carb "Meat House" Mortar2 8oz packages of cream cheese
1/4 cup palm oil
1 package onion soup mix
Blend all ingredients together until smooth and creamy. All to sit in the refrigerator for an hour or so to let the onion flavor blend with the cheese.
Mix that shit up, throw some sausage logs and Slim Jims together, and BAM! -- your very own meat cabin. And speaking of which, I once stayed with twelve other dudes in a single room on a ski trip. It was homoerotic to say the least. A full blown orgy complete with ski poles and goggles to say the most.
Hit the jump for a couple more of the yummy.
Dec 12 2008 Mmmm, The Dessert Of Gods: Meat Cake
If Jesus wasn't too busy telling that fat f***er Santa to shit down my chimney, maybe I'd bake him a meat-cake for his birthday.
Hit the jump to see a pictorial on how to create your own meat cake, which basically involves making three giant hamburgers, gluing them together with ketchup, and frosting the bitch with mashed potatoes. Bon appetite!
Jul 30 2008 Monster Washes Ashore In Montauk
Allegedly this is a picture of some unknown monster that washed ashore in Montauk, on the eastern tip of Long Island. Obviously it's fake, because 1. like a girlfriend that doesn't make me want to blow my eardrums out, monsters don't exist, and 2. whoever made it modeled the damn thing after Tokka from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (minus the shell). Anybody know what movie this is a viral for? After a little interweb spelunking my guess is a film adaptation of The Montauk Project. Apparently it centers around governmental time-travel experiments, but does feature some sort of alien monster coming to Earth. So, yeah, that's my guess -- which, I might add, is 120% correct. Because if it's not, I'll just edit the post and change it to be right. In case you haven't noticed folks, all your interweb are belong to me.
I'll update the story and let you know what's up when the truth is discovered.
Click through to see the uncensored version. Warning: It's fugly.
Jul 7 2008 1-UP Mushroom Burgers Are Green, Spotted
If there's one thing I love it's video game inspired food items. So these Mario 1-UP burgers are right up my alley in my pie-hole. All you need to do is dye your bun tops green with food coloring, melt some mozzarella circles on top, and presto: nobody will touch your burgers. And you know why? That green ketchup that Heinz was trying to peddle back in 2000. Scared the hell out of kids. It's a known fact: kids hate vegetables and all things green. Well, until they hit high school and start experimenting with marijuana. Then green is cool.
Hit the jump if you really want to see what two dyed buns sitting on a granite countertop next to a bowl of green food coloring look like. Hint: think animal dung.
Continue Reading " 1-UP Mushroom Burgers Are Green, Spotted "
Jun 2 2008 I'm Still Hungry: World's Smallest Ramen Bowl
Scientists in Japan recently made the world's smallest ramen bowl, with a diameter of only 1/25,000 of an inch. Which, in scientific terminology, makes it invisible except to superheros that got shafted in the cool powers department (unless they can also see through walls, in which case boobs, sweet). The bowl was carved entirely out of nanotubes and was entered in a recent microphotography contest. Now as someone who just recently finished a project on nanotubes and nanotechnology, I know all about these things. Some interesting facts I uncovered during my research: They're made of carbon. They're mad small. Like super-duper small. They put my junk to shame. I hate nanotubes. Nanotubes are stupid.
Microscopic ramen bowl believed to be world's smallest [cnn]
Thanks to Hunter, who holds the competitive eating world record for nano-ramen: five quadtrillion megazillion boobillion bowls
Also thanks to Matt, who's been training hard and might take the title back this year
Mar 20 2008 Dieting: As Simple As Wearing Blue Glasses
Everybody knows McDingdongdonald's and other fast food restaurants use red and yellow colors in their logos and restaurants because they're warm and make you hungry. And that's why they shy away from cold blues, because they have the opposite effect. Well now, thanks to these sweet Japanese glasses, dieting is as simple as rocking a pair of blue lenses! According to a horribly translated article:
It stimulates the physiological circulation of the human that it is appetite the effect of red approaches the brain among non consciousness, would like to eat generally, that it increases. It is said that the appetite it calms the excitation of the brain above that would like to eat blue color conversely, is held down. Those where the color physiology is applied are these sunglasses. “You drink continuously” if and so on poor even with the person where “it moves”, this because just you apply with easily is, it is easy to continue without being chased in stress, probably will be.
Perfect sense. The glasses cost about $20 here, or you can do what I did and take your grandpa's bifocals and cover them in blue magic marker. I must admit -- I'm not feeling very hungry. I am, however, dizzy.
Lose Weight by Wearing Sunglasses [albotas]
Mar 13 2008 Sugar Jewelry Is Way Sweet (!) (Kill Me Now)
Greetje van Helmond likes making jewelry. She also likes making candy. And now she's making both at the same time! OMGOOGLE! Using what appear to be a number of scientific looking bongs she grows sugar crystals around strings, forming beautiful candy jewelry. I actually remember having eaten some of these before, but I got it at an amusement park and it came on a wooden stick. It was great until the sugar rush kicked in and I tried to jump out of a roller coaster. Still, I'll give the jewelry model a go. I just ordered a necklace, I'll let you know how glamorous I look.
UPDATE: I woke up in the middle of the night being attacked by a vampire. Luckily I managed to drive a stake through its heart before I got bitten. And yes -- you guessed it! -- it turned out to be my candy-loving wife trying to eat the necklace.
Thanks to Dru, who I wish taught cool lessons because I could learn a thing or two from HER, for the tip
Feb 19 2008 Man Creates Lamp Powered By Gravity
2007 Virginia Tech graduate Clay Moulton recently won second place in the Greener Gadgets Design Competition in New York City for the Gravia gravity lamp. According to my dictionary gravity is defined as "The natural force of attraction between the earth and my penis that makes it drag on the ground when I walk."
The lamp's electricity is generated by the slow fall of a mass that spins a rotor. The resulting energy powers 10 high-output LEDs that fire into the acrylic lens, creating a diffuse light. The operation is silent and the housing is elegant and cord free -- completely independent of electrical infrastructure.
To activate the lamp you simply move the weights from the bottom to the top, where they start their 4 hour trip down the tube. The light output will be close to that of a 40-watt incandescent bulb and Moulton estimates the device could have a lifespan in excess of 200 years (with the LEDs being the first components to go). A patent is currently pending for the lamp, and I hope to see them on shelves soon. And you know what else I hope to see on shelves soon? Girlscout cookies. It's annoying how you have to wait for the scouts to come around selling them. I think I missed them this year. I need those things damnit. The wife is getting very bent out of shape without her thin mints. Shes says she'll kill me if I can't produce a box by the end of the week.
Greener Gadgets Design Competition [core77]
via
Virginia Tech News Story
Thanks to Kathleen, who appreciates awesome green gadgets, for the tip
Jan 23 2008 Din-ink Pen Utensils: Never Without Flatware
These Din-ink pen cap utensils recently tied for first place in Designboom's 'Dining in 2015' contest. They're made of biodegradable materials and are pretty clever. These would be great for some people at work, but personally I'm not a big fan of using utensils. I like to eat standing over a sink with my meal wrapped in a paper towel. Sure it sucks for soups, pasta, and pretty much everything that isn't a sandwich, but I don't eat those things anyways. Unfortunately for me, there is no kitchen sink at work, so I only have three options for comfortable dining. 1. eating over the water fountain, 2. eating over a restroom sink, and 3. eating over a urinal. Please note: Due to health concerns I have lowered the 'dropped food rule' from 5 seconds to a much safer (and hygenic) 4 seconds.
Din-ink Utensils [notcot]
