Nov 4 2009 Tutorial: How To Make The Chewbacca Sound
This is a short video tutorial of some busty geek girl teaching you how to sound like Chewbacca. And I don't care how cute you think she is, watch her from 1:10 to 1:18 and then tell me that. Also, whether you follow the instructions or not, you're gonna end up looking retarded. Just a heads up.
Thanks to Rémy, whose name may have been lost in formatting.
Jun 8 2009 It's About Time: Haynes Manual For Apollo 11
This is the $29 Haynes Owners' Workshop Manual for all the vehicles and equipment used during the Apollo 11 mission to the moon. I'm still gonna pick up a copy, despite deciding to build my own rocketship for scratch (I'm hoping for pointers on seducing moon-women).
On 20 July 1969, US astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon. This is the story of the Apollo 11 mission and the 'space hardware' that made it all possible. This manual looks at the evolution and design of the mighty Saturn V rocket, the Command and Service Modules, and the Lunar Module. It describes the space suits worn by the crew and their special life support and communications systems.
There you have it, everything you need to know about how to fly a mission to the moon 40 years ago. Of course, things have changed since then. Namely, US women now have the right to vote. Yeah, and we haven't sent anyone else to the moon in 37 years. Coincidence, or should women not be allowed to drive? You decide.
Product Site
via
NASA Apollo 11 Service Manual From Haynes [ohgizmo]
Apr 22 2009 How To Pick Up Men: Nintendo In A Purse
Let's face it, there are few things in the world men respond more to than boobs. And fast cars. And vaginas. And beer. And fireworks. And dinosaurs. And guns. And meat. And meat guns. And sports. And power tool guns. Oh, and video games. So if you're a lady looking to score some attention from the lesser sex, but aren't ready to go topless (I urge you to reconsider), you may want to mod yourself a Nintendo purse.
Thanks to modder Jeri Ellsworth's creation, nerds everywhere finally understand the purpose of the purse. Hers has a built-in LCD and two velcro-on NES controllers for some on-the-go Super Mario Bros.
The guts of the purse are made from one of those system-on-a-chip deals that modders worldwide are so fond of, and the screen is just taken from a portable DVD player.
The system also has a Commodore 64 on a chip and some other basic computing capabilities. Which....is that Joust? ZOMG, Jeri, tell me you're in the DC area -- I'll meet you out for a drink! And not just to steal your purse. Okay, to steal your purse. Don't hate -- I look good with a manbag!
Video demo of the purse after the jump.i
Continue Reading " How To Pick Up Men: Nintendo In A Purse "
Feb 27 2009 Successfully Marketing Your Bike On eBay
Australian eBay seller yellowscooter knows how to sell a damn bike. Dude could probably sell gamma radiation to The Hulk.
This is a max wicked sick BMX. It's a Reliance Boomerang and it's done heaps of maximum extreme stunts. I have mostly done stunts on this bike since forever. Once I did a boom gnarly stunt trick on it and a girl got pregnant just by watching my extremeness to the maxxxx. Some details about sickmax BMX: Comes with everything you see including: TOPS AS SUSPENSION REAR FORKS!! 2 x wheels 1 x seat I will even thrown my sick BMXing name for FREE - Wicked Styx. Has minor surface rust on handlebars and front forks (easily removed). More rust on rear forks (as shown in pics). Tyres hold air but are pretty old. Basically, it's an old BMX, but it's radness is still 100% in tact. Tricks I have done on this BMX: Endos - 234. Sick Wheelies - 687. Skids - 143,000. Bunny Hops - 2 (my brother dared me to do them, which I did because I'm Rad to the power of Sick). Flipouts - 28. Basically if you buy this bike you will instantly become a member to every club that was ever invented, worldwide, because you will be awesome. Pick up from Richmond in Melbourne. Throw your hands in the air like you just don't mind.
Damn, I'm pissed bidding has already ended -- I desperately need that bike! I'll do anything to be Rad to the power of Sick! Because right now I'm hovering around Lame to the power of Healthy. And let me tell you -- it gets no ladies. Hey GW, how many ladies you getting? NONE.
eBay Auction
Thanks to Jackson and russel, who are both Raddest to the power of Sickest.
Feb 8 2009 Do It Yourself: How To Make Pixel Cookies
This is a chunk of cookie dough made by extruding individual "pixel logs" out of a Play-Doh machine and stacking them to form a design. Flickr user SeattleJonman has a little picture tutorial if you want to see the process, it's pretty basic. Now, if they just tasted like Girl Scout Cookies we'd be in business. The hell yeah business. Any guesses what this particular design is? Here, I'll give you a hint: tape your buttcheeks together.
Hit it to find out.
Continue Reading " Do It Yourself: How To Make Pixel Cookies "
Feb 7 2009 What Should I Eat?: The Bacon Flowchart
If it's too small click HERE for the full-size version.
This has been floating around the intarwebz for a while now, so you may have already seen it. If you have, good for you -- where was the tip earlier, huh? Exactly, you're a jerk. Now buy me a beer. Wait, I want a liquor drink. A pink one.
Bacon Flowchart [ummyeah]
Thanks to Yopoleo, who chose bacon over Beggin' Strips 3 out of 4 times in a blind taste test.
Jan 22 2009 Uh, I've Got The Feeling This Is Illegal: How To Hack Those Programmable Road Signs
Ever wanted to put your own message on one of those portable road signs along the highway? Well now you can with just a little tampering and a whole lot of illegal! Unfortunately, because many children read this website, you'll have to follow the link after the jump to find out how. I'll admit, I gave it a go myself, and it does actually work. Although I did get busted. In hindsight, standing next to the "SHOW ME YOUR TITS" sign with a Motorists Gone Wild t-shirt and video camera probably wasn't the smartest decision I've ever made. But definitely top five.
Hit it for a couple pictures and a link to the how-to.
Jan 14 2009 Australian Fixes Plasma TV With Baseball Bat
NOTE: VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY NSFW, DUE TO LANGUAGE.
This video is so full of win I don't even know where to start. But I'll try. First of all, beating the shit out of a TV with a baseball bat is just awesome. Also, humping it against the wall is cool too. And to make matters even more rad, there's a pair of chicks with Australian accents arguing in the background the whole time. Which, combined with the beating of the television, really turned me on. And let me tell you: the guy they're arguing about, Simon (who the one emphatically claims she doesn't give a shit about), must be pretty freaking special for them to ignore the epic repair going down in the next room.
How To Repair Your Plasma TV With a Baseball Bat (NSFW) [gizmodo]
Thanks to Nathan, who once fixed his DVD player with a hockey stick but had to spend two minutes in the penalty box for high-sticking.
Jan 8 2009 Learn: How To Excel In A Job Interview
And that, dear reader, is how I became The Geekologie Writer.
Thanks to Tim, whose special skills aren't just limited to a 20-inch dong.
May 12 2008 UPDATE: Jessica Rabbit Untooning Video
Remember the "untooned" Jessica Rabbit picture from a little while ago? Well now there's a video of how it was done. And for those of you that thought it looked like Angelina Jolie, give yourself a hearty pat on the back for being so right -- the picture from which the artist pulled the realistic features was indeed everyone's favorite MILHSWWBCUBAC*. Now go out and buy yourself a pipe and magnifying glass, you deserve it you little detective you. So this is a video of the first hour of untooning packed compressed into 10 minutes. Feel free to skip around and get a feel for the process. But under no circumstances should you feel free to skip around and get a feel for your crotch. Remember, you're at work.
*have sex with while Brad cooks us breakfast and cries
Reality Cartoons Contest (a whole bunch of untooned characters worth checking out. Some are good, some are mad shitty)
Thanks to Josh, who was once propositioned by Jessica Rabbit at a bar in Toontown, but turned her down because her eyes were too big
Mar 20 2008 How To Mod A Disposable Camera To Shock The User, Or How To Be A Real Jerk
This is how to modify a disposable camera to redirect the voltage that would normally be used to charge the capacitor to shock the unsuspecting user instead. I actually saw some kids do this in middle school a long time ago, but all they did was take the camera apart and take the two wires and twist them so that they were crossed but not touching. Then they'd slap you on the arm with it and they'd connect and shock. It was ghetto, and I'm pretty sure those kids have long since gotten their first taste of prison food. Anyways, this version is a lot classier than that one. There's some footage of people using it after the tutorial, and it looks like it works pretty good. I'm just glad they didn't try it on me, because they'd be in store for a little shock prank of their own. And that shock would come in the form of a live 240V wire being jammed up their ass. I swear, I'm such a prankster.
The Stunning Camera [pyroelectric]
Thanks to Chris, who is stunning himself and who I would not actually do that to, for the tip
Sep 10 2007 Shopping Cart Bike A Hit With The Homeless
Ryan McFarland, soon to be known as Lord of the Homeless, took the front tire off his bike and replaced the damn thing with a shopping cart. Apparently its steering is limited, which is no surprise, but who cares. It looks sweet and you can haul at least eight or twelve cases of beer on that thing. There is an instructables guide if you're interested, although I think you get the gist of how it was done. Just make sure not to steal one of those crappy buggies with wonky wheels. If you don't the only hauling you'll be doing is your ass to the hospital because you slammed into a parked car.
Shopping Cart Bike A Hit With The Homeless [instructables via ohgizmo]
Jun 5 2007 Milkscanner V1.0
Friedrich Kirschner has built a 3D scanner called the Milkscanner v1.0 using just a webcam, Legos, a plastic bowl, and some milk. The Legos are used to hold the webcam up, and basically a manual stop-motion technique is used to get the 3D scan. An object is placed in the bowl and milk is slowly added as the webcam takes photographs. The slices are then stitched together into a 3D model. It's cool and all, but it means anything you want to scan you have to soak in milk. Which is perfect, because I really need a scan of some Lucky Charms.
May 25 2007 Opening A Combination Lock With A Stick Pin
This is a little tutorial on how to open a combination lock with a stick pin. It's not very informative, but at least it looks somewhat legit. Although once again I've gotta stick with my own personal method of opening a combination lock: biting through it with my teeth.
May 17 2007 How to make your own cash wallet
Ever looked at your wallet and thought to yourself, "Hey, why can't my wallet be made out of cash?" Well it can, my friends. It can. This is a wallet made from a sheet of dollar bills and a piece of tape. Because really, how else are people going to know you're rich unless everything you own is made out of actual money?
Video of how to make this bad boy after the jump.
May 15 2007 Ice bulb
Instructables has a tutorial on how to build this ice bulb, which is basically an LED encased in ice. Not sure where or when you'd ever use it, but it sure looks neat. Kind of makes me want to encase more things in ice. Like my toaster. Or my computer. Or that kid down the street that's always walking on my lawn.
May 15 2007 How to hack a suitcase lock
This video shows how to hack a suitcase lock in under 60 seconds. Although I've developed a way to hack them in under 6. And yeah, maybe my way involves a hammer, but that's how you know it's effective.
May 11 2007 Han Solo in carbonite chocolate bar
Instructables has a tutorial on how to make your own Han Solo in carbonite chocolate bar. Basically you make a mold out of a Star Wars toy and fill it with chocolate. Slightly better than my idea, which was to kidnap Harrison Ford and throw him in a vat of chocolate.
May 10 2007 Smoking fingers
I can't think of a single reason why you'd want to make your fingers look like they're smoking, but here's how to do it anyway.
