Apr 10 2009
ShamWow Sells Like Hot Cakes Bluth Corn Baller In Spanish Speaking Countries
This is Vince "Punchahook" Shlomi selling ShamWows in Spanish. And yes, it's every bit as "I want to beat him till he bleeds" as it sounds. Even worse. I actually put my monitor in a choke-hold just watching it. Now tap out or you're dead. I mean it!
Vince Tries To Sell ShamWow In Spanish [consumerist]
Apr 3 2009 UPDATE: A Helicopter Hotel That Flies
The Hotelicopter is allegedly real, although I have some serious doubts (especially if you go to THIS PAGE and see how they're hocking some renderings as real "test flight" pictures). That, and we're two days to April 1st. Still, it might be (but it's totally not).
Experience the adrenaline rush of taking off and flying high in the largest helicopter ever produced. The Hotelicopter features 18 luxuriously-appointed rooms for adrenaline junkies seeking a truly unique and memorable travel experience.
The Hotelicopter is modeled on the Soviet-made Mil V-12, of which there were only two prototypes ever made. The Mil V-12 took its first flight in Russia in 1968 and was awarded numerous world records, which it still holds today. The vehicle also earned the prestigious Sikorsky Prize awarded by the American Helicopter Society for outstanding achievements in helicopter technology.The Hotelicopter Company purchased one of these prototypes from the Mikhail Leontyevich Mil helicopter plant in Panki-Tomilino, Russia in 2004 and have been engineering the world's first flying hotel ever since.
Eh. Even if it is real I can't say I'm that excited. And not just because I could never afford a flight. No, I'm afraid of heights. Which is why I sleep on a mattress on the floor. Now, which one of you lovely ladies wanna join the ten-inch high club? Memory-foam topper, just sayin'.
UPDATE: FAKE, I just got an email from Hotelicopter.
Thanks for your coverage of The Hotelicopter!
I wanted to let you know that while The Hotelicopter is not real, hotelicopter the company is - we're a new travel brand launching next week.Can you please update your post accordingly? We did ask Yotel permission to use their images in our prank, and they agreed.
Hit the jump for a couple more of the questionableness, including the interior.
Feb 11 2009 'Invisible' Treehouse Hotel Is Hard To Find
Let's face it, we all want to live in treehouses. Unfortunately, I purchased all the remaining trees on earth, so it looks like you suckers are out of luck. Hey, there's always telephone poles. Also, I will be selling acorns for $1,000 a pop. Anyway, this is a treehouse hotel constructed of mirrored glass by Swedish architectural firm Tham & Videgard Hansson Arkitekter.
It is an old architectural trick used since the invention of mirrored glass: covering buildings with the reflective material and declaring that they blend in with the surroundings. Most architects use it to convince wary citizens that it is OK if their building is tall because it will reflect the sky and nature. The rendering always makes the building disappear, and the reality is always a big clunky mirrored box.
I like it. And not just because I was conceived in a treehouse. Because I wasn't -- I was conceived in the trunk of an Oldsmobile after a drug deal gone horribly wrong. Oh, I'm sorry -- was that too romantic to tell this close to Valentine's?
Hit the jump for schematics of what the inside looks like.
Continue Reading " 'Invisible' Treehouse Hotel Is Hard To Find "
Nov 14 2008 FAKE!: Guy Loses His Cool In Hotel
There are few joys in life like laughing at some poor bastard's misfortune. Which is why I loved this video so much. Unfortunately, it's fake and actually an ad for Cisco's Integrated Communications or some such poppycock. I know, major letdown. It's still worth a viewing though. I mean, it's Friday and you've already started drinking. You have already started drinking, right? Come on, have a couple cocktails with me. They'll make lunch taste that much better!
Thanks to Mike, who once blew up in line at Target. Nobody survived.
Sep 29 2008 What A Five-Star Plane Looks Like Inside
The Airbus A380 is a $300 million, 7-story plane that's as long as two blue whales and 260 ft from wingtip to wingtip. And, apparently, it's a flying resort.
The A380 is the ultimate in luxury. It has three decks: the top two for passengers and the lower one available for a medical center, shopping or a fast-food franchise. The aircraft has features like spas, casinos, gyms, bedrooms, and duty-free shops. Some airlines also plan to fix staterooms with beds, showers, a water feature, a double-width staircase between decks, and luxurious, book-lined club-style bars.
Wow, that sounds....like a huge freaking waste.
Hit the jump to see the ridiculousness that is the inside of an A380.
Continue Reading " What A Five-Star Plane Looks Like Inside "
May 15 2008 (Oh God Please Be) FAKE: Ghost In Elevator
I watched this video a couple of times so needless to say I'm making this post from under the bed. It's allegedly a video of a ghost in a Singapore hotel's elevator (let it load and skip to 1:20 to see the goods). I'm sure it's fake as all hell. Right? It's fake right? Good, because you know ghosts scare the crap out of me. Seriously, I've got a huge mess back there. You know, I'd be more inclined to believe this was real if the ghost wasn't a dead(!) ringer for the bag lady I make out with at the train station on Mondays and Wednesdays. I know she's still kickin' -- we played a little tonsil table tennis just yesterday. I would have won too, but she cheated and bit the tip of my tongue off.
UPDATE: Thankfully, I did some investigative interwebbing and found the creators of the video. It's some human resource group that wants you to work for them and "never have to work late and risk seeing a ghost". Which is stupid because the guys in the video never even saw the damn ghost. That said, I have seen one before. It sucked. It was this real busty chick. I tried to cop a feel but my hand just passed right through her. Tease.
Ghost Caught On A CCTV In An Elevator [aolvideo]
Thanks Emilia, I hate sleeping anyways
Feb 29 2008 Death Star Hotel Being Built, World Is Doomed
This structure is being built in Baku, Azerbaijan (an ex-Soviet country between Russian and Iran). Now I'm a firm believer in honesty being the best policy, so why they're trying to construct this under the guise that it's to be the "Full Moon" Hotel is a mystery to me. Just come out and say it already, Azerbaijan. This is not a 521-foot-tall hotel with 382 rooms on over 35 floors. This is the end of life on earth as we know it. That thing is going to blow up the damn planet. I, for one, am scared.
UPDATE: False alarm -- just saw the rest of the pictures. Nothing to worry about. Turns out the damn thing is flat. No way is it large enough to house a superlaser that could destroy the planet. However it is large enough to expect a reasonably sized mini-bar in each room.
Two more from different angles after the jump.
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Feb 27 2008 Hotel In Istanbul Being Built Underwater
While not the first underwater hotel, the one being built in Istanbul does promise some questionable views. The seven-story hotel is being built in the Istanbul Bosporus Straight, where the visibility underwater is allegedly only 10 feet. So you can forget about any view like that one in the picture! You won't be able to see shit. Well, except the pervert with an underwater camera snapping pictures of you. And yes, I agree, that sounds almost too romantic.
Feb 6 2008 Itch-Free Sleeping Gown Makes Me Wonder
There are a number of reasons why one might not get a good night's sleep. At the top of my list are a wife that sleeps too close, two dogs that prevent me from stretching my legs out, and three cats that want to rub their a-holes on my face all hours of the night. Itchiness is a far distant worry. But for those of you that find it at the top of your list, there's Dermasilk. It's a material made into a ridiculous looking outfit that "regulates body temperature and allows skin to breath." Interesting. Yeah, and it's being developed by the Travelodge hotel chain. Whoa, not sleeping there anymore. You sleep in a Travelodge and you get the itchies. Probably from bedbugs and people's you-know-what. And you do know what I mean when I say ‘you-know-what’ don't you? Well think about it -- what do people do in hotel rooms? They eat and leave chip crumbs everywhere. So it's probably chip particulate in the bed that makes you itch.
Sleeping Itch Free [electroplankton]
Dec 24 2007 Luxury Airship Filled With Helium, Rich People
The 'Manned Cloud' airship is being produced, and could be operational by next year. The helium filled craft is going to have 60 hotel rooms, cruise at 173mph, and travel the globe on non-stop 3 day journeys. No word on how much a trip will be, but I imagine in the ‘expensive as hell’ range. Not that I'd ever get on that thing. Helium, while an inert gas, still scares the shit out of me. I mean think what it does to your voice. You want to ride an airship filled with the gas that makes you talk like you just got kicked in the nuts? I think not. If there's one thing I learned in high school chemistry it's this: eyebrows take forever to grow back.
'Manned Cloud' Airship, Around the World in Three Days [gizmodo]
Nov 21 2007 Polymer Snow Debuts At Ski Resort In Texas!
Texas based Bearfire Resort is using Snowflex, a polymer-based snow substitute, to cover its ski trails. The resort hopes to be operational by '09, and will offer year round skiing and snowboarding. So yeah, that's wack. It just won't be the same urinating your name in the snow anymore. Because it won't be snow. It'll be plastic. And peeing in plastic is only fun on long car trips. You know, when you don't want to pull over and happen to have a half empty Gatorade bottle handy.
Polymer-based snow = skiing cowboys [core77]
Oct 30 2007 Dynamic Daylight Window Is Trippy, Cool
The video above is a demonstration of Philip's new Dynamic Daylight Windows. It's awesome. Even more awesome if you're on drugs. By waving your hand around you can adjust the level of darkness, as well as color hue. I want them installed in all my windows. Apparently hotels are considering them to aid travelers deal with jet lag. Of course hotels could probably save a lot of money and just go with the jet lag remedy I've been recommending for years -- a free mini-bar. I can get so drunk I don't remember my name, let alone the time of day. After a week or so I wake up and I'm good to go. Simple.
A much longer video demonstration after the jump that features a woman with a laugh that makes me amorous.
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Aug 17 2007 Galactic Suites Space Hotel
Galactic Suites, the first space hotel, is scheduled to open in 2012, a scant 5 years from now. For the low, low price of $4 million you get an unbelievable 3 night stay in outer space.
During that time guests would see the sun rise 15 times a day and use Velcro suits to crawl around their pod rooms by sticking themselves to the walls like Spiderman.
Throw in one of those Las Vegas style directories of intergalactic three-hootered space hookers, and you can count this guy in (and $3,999,984.25 short on payment). Why's it got to be about them making money, why can't it be about me makin' space love?
One more of a proposed suite after the jump.
