Aug 5 2009 Is This The Luckiest Man On Planet Earth?
What I wouldn't give to switch places with this guy for 30 minutes. 30 minutes!
Jul 23 2009 Good Times: Librarian Book Cart Competition
This is a video of the winners from the American Library Association's Book Cart Drill Team World Championship. I'm not even kidding. I AM ADULTING.
The secret lives of librarians took center stage at the American Library Association's annual conference earlier this month. There was dancing, there were costumes, there was music, and, of course, there were book carts.
Teams bring acrobatic splits, book cart headlights, and dry ice effects to the floor in the quest to win first place and the coveted gold book cart trophy that comes with it. "It changes the whole image of librarians," added Ison.
Needless to say, this is some of the sexiest footage I've seen IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. And I used to judge the Geriatric Olympics, so I know my stuff.
Hit the jump for the second and third place winners.
Continue Reading " Good Times: Librarian Book Cart Competition "
Apr 22 2009 Best Nintendo DS Case Ever? Hint: Yes
This is by far the best Nintendo DS case ever crafted. If you can't tell by the censor block I put over the picture, they're boobs. But not just any boobs. Really soft looking ones. I swear, we get a picture of Jessica Chobot licking this and BOOM!: the cover of TIME Magazine. For the next thirty years. Also, peace in the Middle East.
Hit the jump for the uncensored picture.
Apr 16 2009 Bacon Torch Burns Hot, Hot Water Burn Baby
Some guy went and built a thermal lance (cutting torch) that runs on pure oxygen and the fat from bacon (well, prosciutto). As you can see from the picture, the 5,000°F grease-flame is hot enough to burn through a pan, and straight to our hearts. *swoon*
A thermal lance, typically made of iron instead of bacon, is used to cut up scrap metal and rescue people from collapsed buildings. It works by blowing pure oxygen gas through a pipe packed with iron and magnesium rods. These metals are surprisingly flammable in pure oxygen, releasing a huge amount of heat as they are consumed. The result is a jet of superheated iron plasma coming out of the end of the pipe. For sheer destructive force, few tools match a thermal lance. But iron isn't the only thing that's flammable in a stream of pure oxygen.
There's a video after the jump that explains how he made it, but I'm not into following directions so I just glue-sticked a bunch of bacon to grandma's oxygen mask. Here goes nothin'! *FWOOOSH!* Uh-oh, looks like I'm gonna need another grandma. Quick -- to the old folks home before my parents get back!
Hit the jump for an instructional video.
Continue Reading " Bacon Torch Burns Hot, Hot Water Burn Baby "
Apr 13 2009 Sexiest Dinosaur Costume EVER EVER EVER
My God what I wouldn't give to be that guy.
Best costume ever? You be the judge.*
*Unless you answered "no", in which case, you seriously suck at judging.
Picture [izismile]
Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who knew how inherently sexy this was as soon as he saw it. Spikey, we should start a club.
Mar 24 2009 More Marie-Claude Bourbonnais Cosplay Action: Frost From Mortal Kombat
I know, it's been too long since our last installment of Marie-Claude, and I'm sorry. If I could do a dance and make it rain hot cosplay everyday, believe me, I would. Unfortunately, I can't dance on these peglegs. Anyway, here is the latest from chesty Ms. Bourbonnais and photographer Gil P. As you can see, she's Frost from Mortal Kombat. And speaking of which, my huevos could use a little cool down. Some help over here, Frost? No? OH YOU ARE SO COLD!
Hit the jump for several more and another link to the whole set in case you couldn't find it in the text above.
Continue Reading " More Marie-Claude Bourbonnais Cosplay Action: Frost From Mortal Kombat "
Mar 22 2009 Hot: Female Reader Wielding Master Sword
Responding to my request that the gamer chick pose atop a dinosaur with Link's Master Sword, Geekologie Reader Pepper sent me a picture of herself wielding said sword. Unfortunately, there's no dinosaur (just two ponies humping and a questionable computer background).
Though this message contains less than 1% real dinosaur, cosplaying, action, it does contain a gamer girl with a Master Sword. ME! Win? plz? *meep*
Much love to Geekologie, I visit your site several times a day, and is (sadly) typically the highlight of any given day, unless there is a new episode of Mythbusters on, or if my Charizard levels up. Level 78 bitches!
Hey, I'll take it. Also, I really think this is a step in the right direction for Geekologie. Namely, boob north. Ladies?
Thanks Pepper, now if you could just find a horse that looks like Epona....
Nov 4 2008 Move Over Hot Or Not: A Digital Face Analyzer
BAPA (Balanced Angular and Proportional Analysis) Web is a web-based facial analyzer that apparently determines if a person is attractive or not (for a fee). You know, based on balanced angular and proportional analysis. So if you have big lips and tiny eyes, you're screwed. If you have chiseled features and a wicked scar from a bar fight like I do, you're in. As long as the programmers were smart enough to take badass scars into consideration. Oh shit, and eyepatches. Also, I burnt my good eyebrow off cooking ramen the other night. I'm gonna go ahead and use a picture from a few years back.
UPDATE: The computer's smoking -- it's a sign!
UPDATE: The computer caught fire -- things are looking good!
UDPATE: The computer exploded -- I'm ugly :(
Product Page
Thanks to Antonia, who doesn't need a program to tell her she's smoking hot.
Oct 23 2008 Halloween Ideas: Sexy Star Wars Costumes
Here's a little gallery of sexy Star Wars costumes to get you excited about handing out candy to undeserving teenagers who didn't even bother dressing up. Ha, you're probably just gonna leave a bowl with a "please take one" note aren't you? Well let me tell you something -- the first kid that sees it is taking it all. Bowl too. And, if it's shitty candy, shatter the bowl on your porch.
Hit the jump for several more.
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Sep 16 2008 YES!: Princess Peach Cosplay Costume
Jenni Källberg, aka Pixelninja, aka the hottie that made and posed in the two Samus Aran suits, aka my future wife, aka my future ex-wife, is back at it -- this time with a Princess Peach cosplay costume. As you can see, it looks great, and so does Jenni (who is half Swedish and half Japanese). Wow, the things I would do to her. Like rescue.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more of Jenni as Princess Peach, a couple of which include Racoon Mario, who I should have edited out.
Jul 25 2008 Italian Chicks In Bikinis Playing Human Tetris
Tetris: awesome. Human Tetris: awesomer. Italian chicks in bikinis Tetris: PEW. PEW PEW PEW!
NOTE: Might be considered NSFW depending on how your employer feels about sexy Italian buttocks.
Youtube (search human tetris for a ton more)
Thanks Ross, want to go to Italy? Also, thanks to Bryan, king of the pew pew pew.
Jun 27 2008 Stormtrooper High Heels May Make Your Boyfriend's Head Explode Like The Death Star
I'm pretty confident I speak for everyone here when I say there's nothing a geek finds sexier than a stormtrooper. Am I right? Am I right? I am. And what better way to get your girlfriend in on your sick fetish than some Stormtrooper high heels? A girlfriend that would have typically laughed you down will now happily don the costume, as trying on a new pair of shoes is simply too temping for a woman to pass up. Am I right? Am I right? I am. No but seriously honey, put these on. Wow you're hot, now stomp on my junk. That's the stuff. Now pew-pew me in the head and call me Luke.
Stormtrooper High Heels Are Key to All Your Sex Fantasies [gizmodo]
Thanks Shawn, now I really do want a pair.
May 14 2008 Solar Boulder Holder Powers A Little Sign
Triumph International, a Japanese firm that really triumphs in the global lingerie market, has created the Solar Brasserie (not to be confused with the solar bikini or solar dress). It's a bustier that looks like it was made out of carpet and has a flexible solar panel pinned on. It also comes with some unusual looking padding that I thought typically went on the inside of lingerie. But what do I know? I'm not a underwear manufacturer, I'm just a man with a penchant for bra-ripened chestmelons. Oh, did I mention the solar panel powers a little scrolling sign? Because it does, and it can be programmed to read whatever the wearer desires like, "TSA - I swear this isn't a bomb" and "$50 for 30 minutes".
One more worthwhile picture of a sexy model (I actually mean it this time) wearing the thing after the jump.
Continue Reading " Solar Boulder Holder Powers A Little Sign "
May 12 2008 UPDATE: Jessica Rabbit Untooning Video
Remember the "untooned" Jessica Rabbit picture from a little while ago? Well now there's a video of how it was done. And for those of you that thought it looked like Angelina Jolie, give yourself a hearty pat on the back for being so right -- the picture from which the artist pulled the realistic features was indeed everyone's favorite MILHSWWBCUBAC*. Now go out and buy yourself a pipe and magnifying glass, you deserve it you little detective you. So this is a video of the first hour of untooning packed compressed into 10 minutes. Feel free to skip around and get a feel for the process. But under no circumstances should you feel free to skip around and get a feel for your crotch. Remember, you're at work.
*have sex with while Brad cooks us breakfast and cries
Reality Cartoons Contest (a whole bunch of untooned characters worth checking out. Some are good, some are mad shitty)
Thanks to Josh, who was once propositioned by Jessica Rabbit at a bar in Toontown, but turned her down because her eyes were too big
Apr 30 2008 Water-Cooled Shirt Keeps You, Well, Cool
The Cool Shirt is a water-cooled t-shirt. It keeps you cool. Not cool in a "I'm gonna get mad laid in this Geekologie t-shirt" way, but rather in a "not warm or hot" way. They were designed for race car drivers, and pump 45-60 degree water around your nipples through 50 feet of rubber hose. You just plug the ends into a pump, and away you go. Since I couldn't find any pricing info, and my trusty Metro doesn't have any AC, I decided to make my own for the hot summer months. Unfortunately, the water was recently cut off in my tenement, so I had to use bourbon instead. Well this morning I was halfway to the grocery store when a crappy song came on the radio and really pissed me off. I yanked one of the tubes out of the pump and let it work all that delicious bourbon down my throat. I got drunk pretty fast (drinking out of a straw gets you drunk faster) and drove my car through a Hardees. I made the most of the situation though and had a delicious order of biscuits and gravy before the police got there. In hindsight, filling the shirt with bourbon was a bad idea. Vodka or gin is probably the way to go.
Water-Cool Yourself With a Cool Shirt [uberreview]
Thanks to Wes, who everyone finds both hot and cool
Apr 23 2008 Jessica Rabbit Is Hot Despite Not Being Real
Remember the "human-like" versions of Mario and Homer from a while ago? Well pixeloo is at it again, this time with a smoking hot Jessica Rabbit. There, I said it. She's not real and she's hot. Can you see what I'm doing now? I'm doing that thing that the cartoon wolf does where his eyeballs pop out and his tongue rolls onto the floor because he's staring at a hot chick. That's what I look like right now. The cats are getting scared. Anyway, there's Jessica Rabbit with "realistic lighting and textures." Say, have you ever watched the scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit on laserdisc frame-by-frame to see Jessica's, ahem, rabbit? Yeah, me neither.*
*Unless doing it when you're 12 counts, which it totally doesn't.
Another side-by-side comparison shot of Jessica, and a link to the urban legend page that references the scene I'm talking about (with pictures!), after the jump.
Continue Reading " Jessica Rabbit Is Hot Despite Not Being Real "
Feb 7 2008 Rear-View Mirror Features Video Recorder
Sure police have had dash mounted cameras forever, so what makes the Rear-view Mirror Digital Video Recorder so special? Um, you see, it's, uh, inside the rear-view mirror and records traffic in case of an accident. Okay, you got me, I don't really care about it. I posted this because those two chicks in the backseat are totally about to make out. Who needs a traffic camera when you've got that kind of action in your own backseat? Not this guy. If I was there I would have ripped the mirror-cam off and jumped in the backseat quicker than you could say "who's driving the car?"
A MUST SEE video of an accident recorded with the camera after the jump. Call me crazy, but the person driving the car seems like they were trying to get in an accident. First they cut off the car in the intersection, then sped like a bat out of hell.
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