Nov 18 2008 Couple Divorces After Husband Is Caught Banging Virtual Prostitute In Second Life

In a story that reminds me of this one, a couple is getting divorced after a wife caught the husband banging a virtual hooker in Second Life. Jesus, this shit is pathetic.

Amy Taylor, 28, said she had caught husband David Pollard, 40, having sex with an animated woman. The couple, who met in an Internet chatroom in 2003, are now separated.

"I went mad -- I was so hurt. I just couldn't believe what he'd done," Taylor told the Western Morning News. "It may have started online, but it existed entirely in the real world and it hurts just as much now it is over."

The couple's real-life wedding in 2005 was eclipsed by a fairy tale ceremony held within Second Life.

Fairy tale wedding ceremony in Second Life, beautiful. But here comes the kicker -- wait for it, wait for it.

Taylor is now in a new relationship with a man she met in the online roleplaying game World of Warcraft.

BWHA HAAH AHA HAH HAHAA! Dreams really do come true!

Second Life affair ends in divorce [cnn]

Thanks to Allegro, Curtis, and Ryan, who have never cheated on their significant others because they aren't giant sacks of shit. Ladies?

Aug 29 2008 Exemplary Parenting: A Grand Theft Auto Cake For Your 4-Year Old. Oh Man, Please Tell Me A Stripper Jumped Out Of It!

What better way is there to celebrate Lil Derrick's 4th birthday than with a violence packed video game and a couple strippers? Exactly, none. But seeing how GTA: San Andreas came out a while ago, I imagine Lil Derrick is probably a little older now. So, from all of us here at Geekologie (just me): Happy 7th Birthday Derrkick, I sent you a cake in juvie. Oh, and there's a surprise inside. Hint: It's a knife. It's your birthday, get stabby!

I Believe the Children are Our Future [cakewrecks]

Thanks to Nils, who baked a handgun cake for his son's 4th birthday because, damnit, the man knows good parenting.

Jun 26 2008 Brothel On Wheels Gets Busted, I Weep

Well folks, in an attempt to take away our Eighth Amendment right (the right to pay for and receive sexual acts in the back of a moving vehicle) the FBI busted what they're calling a "brothel-on-wheels" in Miami.

Miami Beach undercover detectives who paid a $40 entry fee and boarded a stretch limousine bus Sunday found women onboard offering oral sex and lap dances for money, authorities said.

Authorities arrested Christine Morteh, 29, of Miramar, and the driver, Clyde Scott, along with four other people Sunday. Miami-Dade jail spokeswoman Janell Hall said Morteh faces charges including offering to commit or engage in prostitution, conducting business without a license, directing another to a place of prostitution and deriving support from prostitution.

Whoa, whoa, whoa -- those sound like some pretty serious charges. Completely inappropriate. I was thinking more along the lines of a gas card and handicapped parking sticker.

Cops bust alleged brothel-on-wheels in Miami [cnn]

Thanks Romeo, but I kind of wish you had notified me about this service earlier.

May 15 2008 Awesomest News Story Ever Is So Awesome

This is the awesomest news story ever, and it all started when Ralph Hardy, a 13-year old, ordered another credit card from his dad's existing account. Then he and his friends went on a $30,000 shopping spree and ordered some hookers to a hotel room where they were playing Halo on Xbox.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

Oh my freaking goodness kids are getting so smart these days. What a great lie!

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services. They told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

Awh man, they got them there and then bailed out? At 13 I could've definitely hit pause for two minutes (give or take a minute and a half) to bang a hooker.

But sadly, this all happened because of a father that forgot his son's birthday.

Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

Oh yeah, the ol' forgotten birthday and promised trip to Disneyland. Been there. Ralph was actually smart just sneaking a credit card in his dad's name. I'm still waiting for my freaking trip.

UPDATE: Story may be a hoax. If that's the case I'm gonna help my little brother make it a reality.

13 Year Old Steals Dad's Credit Card to Buy Hookers [money.co.uk]

Thanks Aaron, I'll let you know just as soon as my dad's new card gets here

Apr 7 2008 AWESOME!: Geekologie Featured On BBC

I don't have a television anymore because my wife sold it for six boxes of Girl Scout Cookies and two pints of Ben and Jerry's. But if I did I may have caught Geekologie featured on BBC! Whoooooweeeee! So yeah, we're big time now. Really up there with the giants. Like Andre and, um, Jolly Green. The picture features a transcript of the show, or you can go here and click April 4th to watch it. But just skip to 21:00, that's when the good stuff starts. I can't wait to tell my parents, they're going to be so proud! Well, as proud as they can be of a son who writes lewd jokes for a blog all day.

Webscape on Click [bbc]

Thanks to Mr. Kezzzs and Adrian, both of whom I will buy a beer the next time I'm overseas, for the tips