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Results for "hooker"

  • May 4, 2009
    This is music-video remix of Vince "bitch, that's my tongue" Shlomi's famous Slap Chop commercial. It drove me crazy and I was this close to jamming a butter knife into a wall outlet. But, I must admit, whoever made it did do a good editing job. So, whoever you are, my hat'... / Continue →
  • April 13, 2009
    Dripping candle is dripping. But seriously, I've been looking for a way to spice up the ol' love life, and my hand doesn't go numb anymore. So I've been thinking about ordering a hooker. I guess what I'm getting at is this: as a natural-born pyromaniac, is bring a flame into... / Continue →
  • March 29, 2009
    First of all, Vince Shlomi, the ShamWow guy, is 44 years old. In the infomercials he doesn't look a day over a very douchey 25. Secondly, a $1,000 hooker tried biting his tongue off during a sexual encounter at a South Beach hotel and Vince was forced to ShamPow her in the fa... / Continue →
  • September 17, 2008
    The best way to dispose of a sex doll is to hump it until it melts. But if you don't have superhuman stamina or a laser penis, your options are limited. So what do you do? Dump it like a dead hooker. A 60-year-old man, having lived with his rubbery companion for a few years... / Continue →
  • September 10, 2008
    A Verizon technician, whose name I won't mention (Joseph Vaccarelli, 45, of Nutley, New Jersey) managed to tap into the land lines of over 950 customers and make 45,000 minutes of phone sex calls. Verizon estimated that out of a 40-week period, Vaccarelli spent 15 weeks talk... / Continue →
  • June 26, 2008
    Well folks, in an attempt to take away our Eighth Amendment right (the right to pay for and receive sexual acts in the back of a moving vehicle) the FBI busted what they're calling a "brothel-on-wheels" in Miami. Miami Beach undercover detectives who paid a $40 entry fee and... / Continue →
  • April 15, 2008
    In this world there are two kinds of things: those that are awesome, and those that make me want to kill myself. This is an awesome one. AN AWESOMELY AWsome one. That was me yelling. I know, I'm a little hoarse (but not the kind that kids ride around at birthday parties, th... / Continue →
  • January 10, 2008
    Taser, a company that focuses its efforts on developing products that shock people, is releasing a new line of tasers and had them on display at the CES. The Taser C2 features an MP3 player holster that stores 1GB of music, so you can get your groove on while you watch a would-... / Continue →