Jun 17 2008 How Not To Spend $150K: An Italian-Themed Home Theater In Some Dude's Basement
I'm as big a fan of themed home theater setups as the next guy who watches movies on a hand-me-down 24" CRT that rests atop a magazine pile entertainment stand. And we've certainly seen a good many bunch of a whole lot of different ones here on Geekologie. Hell, even some that didn't even have a theme, but were just plain ridiculous. However this Italian village themed home theater isn't doing it for me. Like I really want to watch movies right next to the Gastronomiche (which, based on the picture, sells home theater components alongside plastic meat and cheese).
While I'm not really digging the theater, hit the jump for the "Bourbon Street Room" he has in the basement as well. I admittedly wouldn't mind seeing some boobs in there. The whole house is over 15,000 square feet and the damn ceiling in his basement looks like it's 20 feet tall (and I thought my crawlspace has never felt more inadequate). Oh yeah, and there's another disturbing picture of what appears to be the world's gaudiest sex-room I've ever seen in my life. God this dude is making me so sick I could spit. Here I am, stuck watching a television manufactured before I was born while this dude gallivants around blowing $150,000 on a shitty home theater system. That's it, I'm selling a kidney. *sharpening letter opener* "Oooh Superficial Writer..."
Continue Reading " How Not To Spend $150K: An Italian-Themed Home Theater In Some Dude's Basement "
May 1 2008 Video Of The R2-D2 Home Theater System
Remember the R2-D2 home entertainment system we posted a while ago? Well here he comes again, this time with a video to prove his existence and functionality. In case you're too lazy to click the old post's link (or is convinced I was trying to send you to a porn site), I've included the system's features here.
R2-D2, an icon of cinema and a comfortable fixture in any home theater, actually uses a projector in the films -- so of course he'd make the perfect DVD projector at home! Able to project from a distance of over 16 feet with an 260-inch image, this is one R2 unit that will soon be playing back the entire message in homes across the country. Check out these features:
* Picture by DLP from Texas Instruments
* Project to ceilings and walls up to a 260-inch picture
* Resolution: 1024x768
* Contrast Ratio: 1800:1
* Lumens: 1500
* Built-in CD/DVD player. Also plays MP3/MP4 video
* iPod docking station, memory card and USB slots
* Built-in 20 watt stereo speaker system
* FM wireless audio out (channels 1 through 7)
* Full-function: forward, reverse turn 360 degrees and recline
* Millennium Falcon remote control with removable stand
* Head turns using Millennium Falcon remote control
* Plays the most popular R2-D2 sound effects
Unfortunately it appears R2's cost has increased from $2,800 to $2,995. WTF? I mean, what's it look like, I'm made of money? That's ridiculous. Like my mother told me when I was a child, I'm made from snips and snails and puppy dog tails. And, as my best guess, my girlfriend is made from a giant pie-hole that only stops talking about nonsense long enough to jam a carton of Oreos into. I don't care about what color the freaking window treatments are, just buy some!
I didn't mean that honey. I think we should go with a light brown shade like wheat or sand so they'll coordinate with the love seat and my dignity.
R2-D2 Projector In Action Video (Verdict: A Must Have) [gizmodo]
Mar 12 2008 Framing Your Home Entertainment Center Is Wrong, Fugly, Should Be Against The Law
So yeah, rich people are framing their home entertainment centers. Because, well, I don't know why. I guess they have bad taste or something. I find it ironic that in the picture the entertainment center and DVD rack are framed and the actual piece of art there isn't. I don't get it. What I do get is free drinks at the bar. Yeah, I just wait for the bartender to turn around and then I reach across the bar and pour myself one. Yesterday he noticed I had more beer than he remembered and asked where I got it from. You know what I said? I said it fell off the back of a truck. And you know what he said back? Nothing -- he just punched me in the teeth.
Mar 3 2008 Rotating Home Theater Is Riciculous, I Want
This home theater system has a 16-foot motorized circle in the middle on which the front row of chairs is attached. The idea behind the rotation is that when you're not watching something on the screen, the room should still be able to be used for chatting or drinking champagne and shooting foxes or whatever the hell it is rich people do. I call shenanigans though. If you check out the other picture after the jump, if the front row is rotated around, all you're facing is two other chairs and the freaking door. What's the purpose of that? Let's be honest -- anybody with the money for a rotating home theater doesn't need for it to double as some other room. You can just have more rooms built. This person just wanted a damn rotating platform in their house and couldn't come up with a better excuse.
One more picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " Rotating Home Theater Is Riciculous, I Want "
Feb 28 2008 President's Home Theater Is Freaking Lame-o
This is a picture of the president's home theater. It looks pretty sucky. Not what I would have gone for at all. Come on pres, where's the Star Wars theme? I mean you could have gone with anything, like Star Trek, Terminator, the Batcave, the Nautilus, Indiana Jones, or just balls-to-the-wall expensive. But no, you go with a red and gold motif and freaking ottomans in the front row. What are you, a woman? Oh, it turns out Laura Bush was the one responsible for the decoration. Well I see who wears the pants in your relationship, Mr. President. That breaks cardinal rule 4 of being a man: Thou shalt not alloweth thine wife to designeth thy home theatereth. You fool!
Another picture of the room, along with one of what it used to look like, after the jump.
Continue Reading " President's Home Theater Is Freaking Lame-o "
Feb 7 2008 $6 Million Home Theater Makes Me Weep
Ever wonder what a $6 million home theater looks like? Well wonder no more. Pictured is a home theater owned by Jeremy Kipnis, a music engineer/producer. It's got 39 separate speaker units and 36 amplifiers. The entire equipment list will make you cry (which I have included after the jump for your sobbing pleasure). He plans to sell similar systems to other rich folks like Lucas and Spielburg, but for right now he's the only one that's gone so crazy. I mean $6 million for a home theater? If I had that cash I don't think I'd blow it all on a home theater. I'd buy a strip club. Now that's an entertainment center that's fun for the whole family. You know, if you're single.
A ridiculously long and unbelievable list of the theater's components after the jump.
Jan 28 2008 Indiana Jones Home Theater Looking Okay
I would actually consider this "Indiana Jones" themed home theater more of an "Egyptian themed" home theater with some Indiana Jones props strewn about, but whatever. It's still way badder-ass than my theater, which is a pair of binoculars I use to watch my neighbor's television.
That being said, the movie props they have are pretty cool, including the golden idol from Raiders. You know what pissed me off about that? That Indy replaced the idol with a damn bag of sand. That thing had to weigh way more than a freaking bag of sand. Man that made me angry. And then when the monkey died because it ate a poisoned date? That was pretty upsetting too -- until you realized it was in with the Nazis and deserved to die. But how about that line by Sallah? He catches it, points to the monkey and says "Bad dates." F***ing classic! And speaking of bad dates, I went on one over the weekend. What made it so bad you ask? Take a wild guess. Yep, she had a penis. It was way bigger than mine. It happened again. I swear, eHarmony sucks.
A ton more pictures of the theater's movie props, after the whip-crack.
Continue Reading " Indiana Jones Home Theater Looking Okay "
Jan 25 2008 Nautilus Home Theater Is Freaking Awesome
Inspired by Jules Verne's classic novel, the Nautilus home theater is truly a work of art. It was designed by Dillon Works Inc. for Dallas-based dentist Randy Moran and his wife. It looks unbelievably awesome and is nearly 900 square feet. I just showed it to my girlfriend and told her I wanted something similar. "Yeah, too bad you're 20,000 Leagues Under Debt." "Well listen, I'm entering an intense land race called 'Around Your Fat Ass in 80 Days', and if I win then the prize money should be enough to cover it." And that, my friends, is what you tell someone when you want your privates bludgeoned with a Wiimote.
Several more must-see pictures and an equipment list after the dive.
Continue Reading " Nautilus Home Theater Is Freaking Awesome "
Jan 18 2008 Now That Is A Batcave Home Theater Setup
Well we've seen Star Wars, Star Trek, Terminator, and even a cave inspired home theater, but now comes an actual Batman setup. The pictures come from a company called Elite Home Theater Systems (which actually just sells chairs), and look like they may just be conceptual. But if it is real and they don't let live bats fly around in there then it's stupid anyways. Stupid and sad. You know what else is sad? I think I backed over a squirrel this morning when I was leaving the house. Just kidding, I don't think it was a squirrel. Unless it was wearing a business suit and riding a bicycle then that's definitely not what I hit. Holy lawsuit, Batman.
One more picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " Now That Is A Batcave Home Theater Setup "
Dec 27 2007 Batcave Home Theater Looks Good, Dark
A retired naturalist who particularly loves bats had a batcave home theater installed in his cellar. DC Audio Video Systems in New Hampshire was responsible for the install.
The set-up includes prop bats which hang from above, a motorized 110 16:9 Stewart Electriscreen, Triad Silver THX Speakers, and a Sony G90, a $36,000 commercial 1080p 2500 x 2000 CRT projector. The room also features eight black, motorized leather recliners and a LiteTouch LC5000 System for Lighting Control.
When I first found the article I thought for sure it was going to be a Batman enthusiast's work, not an actual bat-lover's. And sure as hell not the dream of some naturalist. Shouldn't he be out playing naked volleyball or something? Why's he down in a cellar watching movies when he could be on the beach with his ding-dong waving, frolicking with naked old women with saggy cans. Because I've seen a lot of naturalist pictures, and that's what they all look like. What's that? I'm thinking of naturists? Whatever, I bet naturalists are freaks too.
A bunch more pictures of the setup after the jump.
Dec 13 2007 Home Theater Features Terminator Theme
We've seen Star Wars and Star Trek themed home theaters in the past, and now comes a Terminator one. Darren Mortenson put this all together himself, and allegedly on "a reasonable budget". The picture there shows a television, but there's also a projector so he can watch movies at a cool 159" (see other pictures). Doing all the work himself even scored him CEDIA installer certification. Not too bad Darren, now come over and hook my basement up. I want a damn home theater down there, right now it's just empty. Well, except for my wife chained between a washing machine and a stove. But maybe we could incorporate her into the theater if we went for a Star Wars "chained up Princess Leia and Jabba the Hutt" theme. She'd make a great Jabba. Now I just need an attractive chick to play Leia. Any takers ladies? *wink*
Check out more pictures and a full list of specs after the jump.
Dec 6 2007 Home Audio Servers Feature Artistic Cases
Karim Rashid, an artist I've never heard of, was commissioned to add some flair to Olive's OPUS Nº5 Digital Audio Server '08 Edition. As you can see they're, uh, not the regular black. Well, except for the two black ones with just the top done up. Which won't be seen anyways because you'll have something stacked on it. They pack 750GB apiece and run $4,000. Obviously you could build a computer (complete with screen and remote) for way cheaper. Then you could take that computer and paint whatever the hell you wanted to on it. Like a scary zombie rising from the grave, chewing on someone's arm. Or maybe a unicorn climbing a rainbow over the moon with a rose in its mouth and shooting stars all around. You know, whatever. Different strokes for different folks.
Olive OPUS Nº5 Karim Rashid Editions [ohgizmo]
Nov 20 2007 For Trekkies: Wicked Star Trek Home Theater
Well we've seen the Star Wars home theater in the past, and now comes the Star Trek version. And damn is this thing jam packed with goodness. Modeled after the Enterprise NCC-1701D from The Next Generation, this thing boasts "motion-activated air-lock doors with series sound effects, and a “Red Alert” button on the Crestron TPMC-10 controller to turn all of the LEDs bright red and flashing. The system also features “one of the largest Kaleidescape hard-drive based storage systems” ever created, amassing eight servers with 3,816 DVDs."
Well damn. That is one serious home theater system. Looks like someone really loves Star Trek and has serious money to throw around. I wish I had serious money to throw around, but I don't. I just have play money. And they've stopped taking it at the strip club.
Three more must-see pics after warp speed.
Continue Reading " For Trekkies: Wicked Star Trek Home Theater "
Oct 26 2007 The R2-D2 Home Theater System Is Pricey
Need some more Star Wars in your life? Do you also need a home theater system? If so, you can get two birds stoned at once with the R2-D2 home theater system. The little trashcan looking bastard has a DLP projector, DVD player, iPod docking station, two 20-watt speakers, memory card slots and USB port, an LED message center, Millennium Flacon remote control -- and the cute little guy can even follow you around the house. He has sensors so he won't fall down the stairs when you're moving your porn party from the rumpus room to the bedroom! All this for only $2,800. I mean what a freaking steal. Hell, you can barely take a date to dinner and a movie for $2,800 anymore, and I guarantee your date can't project a naked Princess Leia out of her radar eye. He also won't tell you he loves you and then go bang the guy that works the drive-thru window at Wendy's. Porn Projecting Trashcan Robot: 1, Women: 0.
Product Site [thanks to JE, a hilarious individual, for the tip]
Sep 19 2007 Star Wars Personal Theater Is Cool
Vic Wertz and Lisa Stevens, who used to run the Official Star Wars Fan Club, had this home theater made to resemble the control deck of the Death Star. It was designed by Doug Chiang who was the lead designer in Episodes I and II. All the stars are lit up via LEDs, and the massive DVD collection is hidden behind a Han Solo in Carbonite door (which could be made of turds and be better than this one). Throw in a golden bikinied Princess Leia chained to the chair and my privates would be in hyperdrive.
One more after the jump.
