Nov 11 2009 FREEDOM ISN'T FREE: Happy Veterans Day
I'd like to take this time to thank all the brave men and women who have served this country. You're the ones that have made the freedom to write whatever I want a reality. My sincerest thanks.
Your Geekologie Writer
Sep 6 2009 No Work: Happy Labor Dabor Day Everyone!
Hey folks, sorry I had to leave so abruptly on Friday, I was traveling and got into a fistfight at the airport with a man with a large suitcase AND HAD TO WHIP HIS ASS FROM TERMINAL A TO TERMINAL D. Not really, but I was traveling. Anyway, I know I promised I'd have your haiku graded and returned today (some with smiley stickers, others with lots of red), but I forgot it was Labor Day weekend. You see, sometimes even your Geekologie Writer can be an idiot moron. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I jest, but it is a holiday weekend so I figured I'd wait till Tuesday to reveal the winners and show you the balls. So everybody have a great time tomorrow and remember: don't go to work. Unless you have to, in which case quit.
HAPPY LABOR DABOR DAY EVERYBODY!
Jul 3 2009 Happy 4th Of July Weekend! *BOOM BOOM*
Dearest Reader,
Those were fireworks at the end of the title in case you couldn't tell. *BOOM BOOM* Oh, there went some more! Anyway, this is an incredible *BOOM* cute stop motion video from PES, whose work is always amazing. Now, everyone get out there and have a safe and firework-y holiday. And if my next post doesn't make any sense -- I'm typing with stumps. WHEE!
Love,
Your Geekologie Writer
Thanks to Towhee Monster, who's a little firecracker herself.
Jun 21 2009 Babyglow 'Sleep Suits' Indicate Temperature
Babyglow Sleep Suits are basically Hypercolor onesies for babies. If the baby's temperature passes 98.6°F (37°C), it turns white, indicating possible sickness. Also, if it's vomit covered, that could be a sign. Available this fall, a 3-pack will set you back $35. Alternatively, a 36-pack of Trojans for $17.94....
....
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
Babyglow Garment Changes Color When Your Baby Is Running A Fever [ohgizmo]
Jun 6 2009 Screw Productivity: Happy Birthday, Tetris!
Today marks the 25th birthday of Tetris. In its quarter century of service it has been responsible for thirty googlejillion man hours of gameplay and countless drops in productivity. I know I got fired for playing at work once. You hear that, the man? YOU CAN'T HOLD ME DOWN! Happy Birthday, Tetris, this long piece is for you. And by long piece I mean 40. A GLUGLULGLULAGLUG!
At 25, `Tetris' drops into place as gaming icon [yahoonews]
Thanks to Pat, Watch-303, catch22 and /Eyeroll, who don't even bother working at work anymore.
Jun 5 2009 Yay For Holes!: National Doughnut Day
Today is national doughnut day, so get out there and munch on some hole. Almost all doughnut retailers are offering free nuts or other specials to commemorate the occasion.
National Doughnut Day started in 1938 as a fund raiser for the Chicago Salvation Army. Their goal was to help the needy during the Great Depression, and to honor the Salvation Army "Lassies" of World War I, who served doughnuts to soldiers behind the front lines in France.
I went to Dunkin' Donuts earlier this afternoon and they were offering a free donut with the purchase of a drink. So I bough a coffee and started pouring the Irish whiskey. BOOM, an thirty minutes later I'm getting thrown out for making love to this sexy maple-glazed number. What? I'M A VERY SENSUAL PERSON.
Thanks to T.J. and Jelly Time, who prefer bagels because they don't like sweets.
May 4 2009 Stylin' And Profilin': An R2-D2 Backpack
Well folks, today is Star Wars Day. What in the hell is Star Wars Day?
May 4 is called Star Wars Day because of a pun or play on words based on the similarity between "May the 4th be with you" and "May the force be with you", a phrase often spoken in the Star Wars movies.
Nice, Star Wars Day and then Cinco de Mayo, l feel a bender coming on. Also, possibly swine flu. But before I start pounding the brewhahas, here's a $65 R2-D2 bookbag. I want one, but they're currently sold out. So yeah, that's kind of putting a damper on my Star Wars Day festivities. But not for long because I just took like four doses of glitterstim spice! You feel that? I'm probing your mind. Aaaaaaaand now I'm wishing I hadn't.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the product page.
Continue Reading " Stylin' And Profilin': An R2-D2 Backpack "
Apr 20 2009 Sure, Why Not: The NOM NOM NOM Song
Well folks, it's 4.20, and if I was still in college right now I'd be rolling a four-paper dank-blunt and skipping all my classes. But I'm not -- I'm at work -- so I'm smoking swag in the janitor's closet and blowing through a spoof. It's pathetic. Not unlike this video, which, whether you're high or not, will make you want to gouge your eardrums out. Consider it my little gift to you on this, the greenest of holidays. Haha -- suck it, Arbor Day!
NOM NOM NOM Song [collegehumor]
Thanks to Johnathan, who once smoked a whole O of that presidential in a day and then realized he just smoked $350 of weed in one day.
Apr 13 2009 Biblical: And The Lord Said, "Go Forth And Build Me With Modular Plastic Blocks"
Parishioners at a Protestant church in Vasteras, Sweden, kicked off Easter yesterday with the unveiling of a 6-foot tall, 30,000 piece LEGO Jesus. *eyeballing own 6", 18-piece LEGO Jesus* Nice, guys, way to 1-up me.
It took the 40 volunteers about 18 months to put all the tiny plastic blocks together, and their creation shows a standing Jesus facing forward with his arms outstretched.
Church spokesman Per Wilder said the statue at the Onsta Gryta church in the central Swedish city of Vasteras is a copy of Danish sculptor Bertel Thorvaldsen's "Christus" statue on display in Copenhagen.
LEGO Jesuses, now THAT'S what Easter is all about. Am I right? Well, besides dying eggs and projectile vomiting the chocolate bunny from your Easter basket. *HOOOORF* I think I see his ear!
Parishioners create Christ statue from Legos [dispatch]
Thanks to Jeremy and Meema, who had a Peep-eating contest and both lost.
Dec 31 2008 The All New New Years Eve Ball: Now With More Lights, Efficiency And, Uh, Triforces
What you're looking at is the new New Years Eve ball to be dropped (they literally should drop it one year -- after setting it on fire. Fireball Island FTW!) in Times Square tonight.
Last year, the Times Square Ball got an LED makeover for its 100th anniversary. This year that tradition continues, all 32,256 Philips Luxeon Rebel LEDs of it (and don't forget the 2,668 Waterford crystals). The 12-foot-wide, 11,875-pound ball is capable of displaying "16 million vibrant colors and billions of patterns"
The ball is 20% more efficient than last year as well, which means it will only consume enough power to run a handful of towns in the midwest. Oooooh, and what's with the Philips Rebel LEDs? I like the sound of those. "F*** you, we'll light when we want!"
Next year, Rogue LEDs.
The 'New' New Year's Eve Ball: 32,256 LEDs, 11,875 pounds, 20% more efficient [dvice]
Dec 25 2008 Merry Christmas, You Filthy Rebel Scum
Well folks, we've all somehow managed to survive another year and make it to Jesus' B-day Extravaganza, 2008. I imagine you're all enjoying time with friends and family, opening wrapped boxes containing the things you've always wanted. And, if you're not, hopefully you at least know a bar that's open.
Merry Christmas to you and yours, from the Geekologie Writer and his (dog).
Flickr Picture
Thanks to Rich, who saved Christmas with a picture of a stormtrooper wearing a Santa hat.
Dec 23 2008 The Ultimate In Christmas Lighting Effects
I vow to be the guy who puts up the ridiculous Christmas lights every year. But no inflatable decorations. Those things are freaking classless. Unless you have them in your yard, in which case, good looking. But we're talking lights here. We're talking serious exterior illumination. We're talking....Light-O-Rama!
Light-O-Rama is an affordable, computerized lighting system designed to control elaborate or simple lighting displays. The Light-O-Rama system can be applied to almost any lighting situation, from stand-alone controllers to synchronizing hundreds of controllers, motion detectors, animation servos and other devices using a personal computer or master controller. Light-O-Rama controllers are micro-processor based (miniature computers inside) and are equipped to produce a number of great lighting effects such as smooth ramping, cyclic/cross fading, dimming, twinkling and many others.
You heard it here folks, miniature computers inside. You just shell out $2,700 for a 128 channel system, plug in a shit-ton of lights, connect to your PC, and presto, you triple the electric bill and burn your house to the ground. But I think we can all agree: it's a small price to pay for a Youtube video I'll watch every Christmas.
Hit the jump for a picture of a fire waiting to happen and a bunch more classic Christmas lighting videos, most of which are OLD AS HELL.
Continue Reading " The Ultimate In Christmas Lighting Effects "
Dec 22 2008 Instant Decorating: The Christmas Cannon
If there's one thing I hate about Christmas it's that fat bastard Santa and his lack of presentry for yours truly. I swear, you write one too many dirty jokes and the boubon-soaked skeezeball (trust me, I could smell his breath when I sat on his lap at the mall in '85. Also, I'm now spreading a rumor he touched my butt) passes your apartment. If there's another thing, it's decorating. It's time consuming, and, come May, you have to take everything down again. That's why the Christmas Cannon is so genius. You just lather something in glue, pump up the cannon, and BAM -- you just Christmas'd that shit. It's as easy as shooting yourself in the foot trying to shoot fish in a barrel. Which, haha, is easier than you think (read: I'm missing two toes and have to wear a special shoe).
DIY Christmas Cannon is a Festive Tinsel Explosion [gizmodo]
Dec 18 2008 'Tis The Season: Beer Bottle Christmas Trees
With Jesus' surprise roller-skating party just a week away, I thought I'd spread some holiday drunkeness in the form of beer bottle Christmas trees. This first one is made from 1,050 bottles, and there's a video after the jump of a Heineken tree with over 2,000. Also, I added a video of some drunkard making a Jagermeister tree out of a big piece of plywood and airplane bottles. It's amazing the time and effort people put into these things. A thousand bottles, 200 lights, 60 man-hours of labor, and one drunk Geekologie Writer to bring it all crashing down. Feliz cumpleaños, Jesus! And tell Santa I'll post nudey pics of Mrs. Claus if he pulls that coal shit again this year.
Hit it for the other videos.
Continue Reading " 'Tis The Season: Beer Bottle Christmas Trees "
Nov 27 2008 Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Get full, get drunk, watch some football, make out with a relative. Sadly, since I'm the orphaned son of ninja-pirate gypsies, I'll probably eat at Captain D's and be back in a little bit. Until then, gobble gobble! And also, sorry, Native Americans. :( You totally got us back with the whole smoking thing though!
Nov 26 2008 Thanksgiving Made Easy: A 2-Hour Turkey
Well folks, if you haven't noticed by the lack of people at work or canned pumpkin at Kroger, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. The day we Americans celebrate Jesus's first bite of whole foods (some say it was a wise man's camel) and the subsequent decimation of the Native American population via laced cornucopia. So, to help you get in the spirit of it all, a Thanksgiving-ish post!
The Nuwave Oven Pro is a $120 portable oven that can allegedly cook a 10-pound turkey (or small sibling) in a mere two hours. "NuWave performs this miracle using three kinds of heat: Conduction, convection and infrared, turning that raw bird into a golden brown beauty in no time flat." Oh really? I bet we could cut the cooking time down to an hour by adding a fourth type of heat -- my body's. Did that just turn you on? You're lying if you say it didn't. Anyway, as a notorious one last minute man, I'm gonna have to use the NuWave, seeing how my turkey isn't even thawed yet. Or purchased for that matter. I'll let you know how it goes.
UPDATE: Mmmm, raw turkey with salmonella gravy, love it.
NuWave Oven Pro cooks a turkey in 2 hours [dvice]
Oct 30 2008 In Time For Halloween: LED LEGO Minifigs
Just in time for Halloween comes a DIY article on how to stuff an LED into a LEGO minifig's carved out head. It isn't too complicated, so if you have some LEDs lying around you could make a pretty sweet LEGO Halloween diorama tonight and be ready for tomorrow. And, honestly, is there anything cooler than celebrating the devil's holiday with LEGO minifigs? No, there isn't. Well, except for the rich family that hands out full-size Snickers bars.
Hit the jump for more pictures and a link to the DIY page.
Continue Reading " In Time For Halloween: LED LEGO Minifigs "
Sep 1 2008 Labor Day: Doing As Little As Possible
Happy Labor Dabor Day! Now don't let me catch any of you working. That especially goes for any police officers in the area -- I'm gonna rob a bank!
UPDATE: Haha, banks are closed on Labor Day. Oh well, on to plan B.
UPDASTE: miSISON ACCOMlplished! ILove yous !! Ssee yuou tommorrow11
Jul 4 2008 Happy Fourth Of July, With Fireworks!
The intrepid Geekologie Writer here wishing you all a happy Fourth of July. I'm currently between drinking binges and figured I'd say hi and let you all know I was thinking of you. I also included a video up of one of my favorite past-times -- shooting fireworks at your friends. And, like every firework war I've ever had, this one goes horribly wrong. Oh, and a heads up -- there's some NSFW cussing in it. Now everybody get out there and have a great holiday weekend. But remember: safety first. Under no circumstances should you play with fireworks without an alcoholic beverage's supervision.
Happy fourth! Be safe and I'll see you bright and early on Monday.
Feb 14 2008 Happy Valentine's Day, I Love You All
Happy Valentine's Day! I want you all to know that if you don't have a special someone in your life then I would be more than happy to substitute until said person is found. Partly because I'm such a nice guy and love you all, and partly because my girlfriend sucks and I can't stand her anymore. You see this LED display she made me? Cute right? Too bad she really meant it. I think it's the clap, but I'm going to the free clinic this afternoon just to be sure. It feels like someone took a blowtorch to my ding dong. Anyway, happy Valentine's Day everyone, stay clean.
Valentine's day projects [make]
