Oct 24 2009
The Internet Moon Is A Series Of Tubes!
So apparently the moon might consist of a network of interconnected tubes, like Swiss cheese. OMG the astronauts are gonna eat it! AAAAAAAAAAH I'M SO JEALOUS!
Images have revealed a hole on the Moon's surface that is at least 260 feet deep and may lead to an underground tunnel more than 1,200 feet wide which is part of an entire network of such winding tubes.
Scientists are hoping for clearer shots from NASA's Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter, but the impression so far is that such a tunnel network could provide shelter for astronauts or potential future Moon colonists.
Two words: giant space worms. Shut up, the giant is silent! But only while he sleeps. Kidding, he's a snorer! I'm not insane, you're insane! Plus a jerk.
Newly Discovered Hole On Moon Leads To Network Of Tubes [gizmodo]
Sep 2 2009 Makes A Perfect Gift: Man Eating LEGO Pits
Two LEGO posts in a row involving scary shit with teeth -- BOOSH! So some guy started a website called igotyouamaneatingpit.com that sells man-eating pits made of LEGO. These are two examples of the seemingly endless possibilities. Pits start in the low $20's and go up from there. They are completely customizable by choosing a feeding system (person), food escape system (bike, monkey, etc.) and theme pack. They make the perfect gift for that person on your gift list who already has everything -- everything but a man-eating pit! Which, haha, come standard on some female models. I've seen toothy vaginas!
Thanks to Eddy and Jake, who tried to make DUPLO man-eating pits but they just weren't that scary.
Aug 4 2009 Spaceball: Suck It, You'll Never Be Hallball!
Spaceball is hands down one of the most ridiculous looking games I've ever seen and costs $700. Plus, it sucks to always have to go retrieve the ball when you throw it out of the court. If you can call it a court. Which I just did, SO IT'S ALL GOOD BABY. Basically, you bounce around in there like an idiot and try to throw the ball through the hole in the middle and past your opponent. WHEE! Plus, it's endorsed by astronauts.
According to former astronaut Scott Carpenter, it's "the best conditioning exercise for space travel."
Yeah it is. Because if there's one thing I've learned about space travel it's how similar it is to jumping around on a trampoline and trying to peg your friend in the face with a rubber ball. No -- two men, a ball and a hole -- this is more like that game I play in the truck stop bathroom.
Spaceball: Like Basketball, but More Expensive and Ridiculous [gizmodo]
Jul 15 2009 Geekologie: Legit News Source Cited By CNN
This is the part of the day where I toot my own horn *BLAAAAAT!* because Geekologie is so awesome. So, you remember the post about the texting teen that fell into a manhole? Well CNN cited Geekologie (action is at 0:30) in a television news story about the incident. SHAZAM! Now who's a legitimate news source? This site. Oh, breaking story! -- Geekologie Writer named world's greatest lover. Run with it, CNN.
Texting Accidents: Running Into Posts, Tangled In Dog Leashes [huffingtonpost]
Thanks to Jonathan, who saw the report in the airport and nearly lost his luggage.
Jun 30 2009 It's Itsy Bitsy!: Tiny Drill Is Tiny
This is a super tiny drill. It is the opposite of this drill. If these two drills were siblings, this one would be Danny Devito in Twins. But it does actually work (video HERE). Now I have no idea what in the hell you'd use such a tiny drill for, but if I had to guess, I'd go with dollhouse repairs. You hear that, Ken? *sobbing* THIS DREAMHOUSE IS IN SHAMBLES!
Micro Power Drill [bookofjoe]
Thanks to naas, whose drill is not much bigger. Burn? BURN!
Jun 25 2009 35,000-Year Old Flute Doesn't Summon Bird
That was a Zelda reference. No need to thank me folks, just doing my job. So scientists have unearthed a 35,000-year old flute in Germany, making it the earliest instrument ever found (not including rocks).
It was made from the bone of a giant vulture during the Upper Paleolithic. Found in Ach Valley, in the south of Germany, the 8.7-inch long, one-inch diameter instrument has five holes, with two V-shaped notches carved on one side of it. This was the part in which the musician put the lips to blow, according to University of Tubingen's professor Nicholas Conard, the lead author of the discovery. The other end is broken just on the fifth hole.
Wait -- but I thought the oldest flute was the one Eve used to play. You know, Adam's. Zing? ZING!
35,000-year-old Flute Is First Instrument Ever [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who is more of a clarinet kind of guy.
Jun 15 2009 Alleged Anti-Stab Knife Won't Stab To Kill
Allegedly this New Point knife was designed to be unable to stab someone to death. Questionable, I know.
Mr Cornock, 42, from Swindon, said that the knife will cut vegetables, but will make it almost impossible to stab someone to death and will reduce the risk of accidental injuries.
He said: "It can never be a totally safe knife, but the idea is you can't inflict a fatal wound. Nobody could just grab one out of the kitchen drawer and kill someone.
I call shenanigans. There's no such thing as a stab-proof knife. I could hands-down kill somebody (or something -- I'm looking at you, zombie robot) with this thing. Shit, one time I stabbed a guy to death with a brick.
First Anti-Stab Knife Prevents Deadly Kitchen "Accidents" [gizmodo]
Thanks to Pew³, who doesn't need knives because the dude's made of lasers.
May 15 2009 Universe's Largest Black Hole Discovered
Allegedly astronomers have discovered the universe's most massive black hole. How massive? Think my ex-wife's gaping pie-hole times three.
Whatever gave birth to this monster can be real proud. The biggest black hole in the universe weighs in with a respectable mass of 18 billion Suns, and is about the size of an entire galaxy.
The biggest black hole beats out its nearest competitor by six times. Fortunately, it's 3.5 billion light years away, forming the heart of a quasar called OJ287.
So, what does this mean for us? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Quick, everybody, foil helmets, foil helmets! *click* Haha, you all looked so stupid.
18 Billion Suns -Biggest Black Hole in Universe Discovered--and it's BIG! A Galaxy Classic [dailygalaxy]
Thanks to interstellar vacuum salesman, who could sell that black hole a stairs attachment even if it doesn't have any.
May 5 2009 Pfft, Who Needs Ears?: Pierced Glasses
Born without ears? Lose them in a samurai sword fight? Whatever the case, for those of you who have found yourself both aurally and ocularly challenged, you may want to consider pierced glasses. Pierced glasses are a pair of prescription eyeglasses that stay affixed to your ugly mug via a piercing through the nose. Pretty clever. Not as clever as just having Lasik surgery so you can shoot lasers out of your eyeballs, but hey, laser vision isn't for everyone. And, incidentally, neither are laser-wangs. Go ask The Superficial Writer why he's blind in one eye.
Pierced Eyeglasses [bmezine]
Thanks to Warfaremonkey, who wears a pierced hat and is now limited to the use of his animal brain like Phineas Gage.
Apr 16 2009 Viral Samsung Ads: Now With Trickery
This is a viral ad for Samsung's new I8910 camera phone. I found the guy in the video annoying but I would do his girlfriend. Twice. Once with the lights on.
OUR CHALLENGE: GUESS HOW WE DID THIS. This clip was shot on an I8910 HD phone, a new camera phone just released by Samsung with an 8 megapixel camera that can actually record and output video in HD format. It was shot in one take, with no post production or special effects of any kind. Everything you see here was done "in-camera". Our challenge to you is to figure out how we did it. Hint: it's worth watching in HD...
I went ahead and took the time to embed the video in high definition for you. You know, since I'm your little bitch. And now I'll go ahead and ruin it for you. SPOILER ALERT: Not a mirror. Just a hole. A big, gaping hole. Which, SPOILER ALERT: my ex-wife.
Feb 26 2009 It's A Little Early: Hole-y Halloween Costume
It's never too early to start planning your next Halloween costume. In fact, I've got my costumes planned through 2016: Link, Link, Link, a Goron, a Zora, Link, a pirate, Dracula. Awh yeah, baby. But if you want to go as a guy with a wig on and a hole through his gut, go for it. All you need is a little LCD screen and video camera.
By using a travel DVD player strapped to my stomach, with video coming from a digital camera strapped to my back, it creates the illusion that I have a very large hole in my stomach.
Flickr user 'evanbooth', the creator, calls the costume the 'The Gaping Hole'. Which, ironically, is what I call the ex. *swish* Count it!
Hit the jump for a picture of the actual setup.
Continue Reading " It's A Little Early: Hole-y Halloween Costume "
Jan 21 2009 Guy Makes Portal Gun, I Plan To Steal It
Holy crap somebody went and made the gun from Portal. I have absolutely no shame in telling you all I am going to steal the device, and then use it to rob a bank and escape the po-po.
Developed by Aperture Science, this Handheld Portal Device is an extremely limited edition (dare I say, one of a kind?) portal generator. Illuminated with blue ad orange LEDs, the entire gun runs off of only one 9V battery and needs no ammunition.
*donning pantyhose mask* See you in a bit!
UPDATE: HOLY SHIT I'VE GOT IT! I even managed to escape without detection, so I don't even know if the thing works yet. *pointing at bedroom wall* Well, here goes nothing! *PEW* OH MY GOD IT WORKS! Aaaaand there's my sister. Aaaaand she's naked. Quick, portal me in the eyes!
Hit the jump for a couple more views.
Continue Reading " Guy Makes Portal Gun, I Plan To Steal It "
Dec 19 2008 Stocking Stuffer: Companion Cube Keychains
Want to carry a little companion cube with you wherever you go? No problem, thanks to Etsy seller donsolo's $22 companion cube keychains.
Made with geeky love from .100" thick reclaimed aluminum. It measures 1.25" x 1.25" (about 3cm x 3cm). The surface has a brushed finish that will wear over time. It's attached to a clip style key holder with a flexible metal cord. End to end it's almost 4".
Perfect for the Portal lover on your gift list, the little cubes make a great stocking stuffer. And you know what else does? Those sexy legs of yours. Ooo la la!
Thanks to Michael, who may or may not have a financial interest in the sale of these keychains.
Oct 9 2008 Questionable: Disappearing Pool Table
Somebody went and built an elevator for their pool table so they can use the space it would normally take up when not in use. It had to have cost a fortune, probably even more than building an addition on the house. Which is what I would have done. Or, I dunno, gone to the bar.
Thanks to Ian, who racks and cracks with equal dexterity.
Sep 12 2008 Live Large Hadron Collider Webcams
This is a snapshot from one of the webcams positioned on the Large hadron Collider. Hit this link to view them, there's been a bunch of bustling around the past few days and I think I saw a guy trip and fall down the stairs on the left. Definitely worth checking out. And also, a book from the library. Get your read on, bitches!
Hit it for one more shot, but view the cams first for some hot and steamy live action.
Feb 25 2008 Pet Peek Makes Your Dog An Astronaut, Sad
Pet Peeks are torture devices for dogs that make them look like space cadets. They consist of an acrylic plastic bubble you install in the fence so your pet can see out. They cost $30 apiece and make me sad. I'm not really convinced that a Pet Peek is better than your dog just not knowing what's happening on the other side. I mean, why not just a hole? Ah yes, dogs can't wipe their snot on a hole. Nor can you sell them (except in donut form).
Pet Peek [zuzafun]
Thanks to Sophia, who is awesome as all hell, for the tip
Jan 18 2008 World's Largest Drill Bit Is Pretty Big, I Guess
The world's largest drill bit was put to use last month boring a subway tunnel in Leipzig, Germany. This is it. As you can see it's relatively large. Not huge, but pretty big. For a drill bit. Now if it was a Reuben sandwich, that would be impressive. And filling. Can you imagine the amount of sauerkraut required for a sandwich that big? I'm thinking several cans at least. I'm also thinking about making one. Who's with me? You bring the ingredients, and I'll bring an appetite and my "kiss the cook but don't touch the buns" apron.
A close up picture of the bit after the jump.
Continue Reading " World's Largest Drill Bit Is Pretty Big, I Guess "
Dec 27 2007 LEGO Portal Scene Is Cute, Not Cuddly
Someone made a little scene from Portal with LEGO blocks. As you can see it's pretty basic. Maybe a falling scene in an MC Escher style would have been cooler. It doesn't matter though, the main reason I'm posting this is because it reminds me of the portal I opened in my bedroom. Sure I used explosives and a sledge hammer, but a hole is a hole. Now I don't have to walk down to hallway to pee in the middle of the night. I just use the portal to the backyard. It's a little drafty this time of year, but that's the price you pay for convenience.
Portal in LEGO [boingboing]
