Apr 14 2009 A Grass Wheel For The Concrete Jungle

The Grass Wheel was created by David Gallaugher, Kevin James, and Jacob Jebailey of the Dalhousie School of Architecture, and provides a comfortable, shoe-free mode of eco-transportation in the concrete jungle (grass-sandals guys, just saying). And I think we can all agree, it makes a very powerful statement. One about renewable energy or something. No? Human hamster wheels? A-ha -- space technology and growing grass upside down! Yes, very thought provoking. How do they do that?

Grass Wheel [neatorama]

Thanks to Armando, who is all man and refuses to walk in anything but a broken-glass wheel. Nice, Armando, but I'll stick to my burning coals wheel.

Feb 3 2009 Japanese Police Use Wii Miis For Suspect ID

As a guy who actually witnessed a hit and run last night, I've got to admit: I should drive more carefully. Now there's probably a picture of my Wii Mii out there posted next to the carcass. Wonderful.

No, really, that is a wanted poster and that is a Mii on it, and that made me laugh so hard I sprained my epiglottis. The Kanagawa kops (Japan) are searching for the Mii, or a someone who looks like it, anyway. The blogs that have posted about this are inconclusive as to whether that is the actual Mii of the actual suspect (to say nothing of how they might have gotten it) or if the cops used the Mii creator to build their composite.

I've seen her! She beat me on Rainbow Road not even a week ago! I threw my controller. It hit the dog. The dog died. Thankfully, my neighbor resuscitated it. Then demanded "a little something for his time". You know what he got? Wii'ed in the nads.

Mii Sought in Hit and Run [kotaku]

Thanks to Julian, whose Wii Mii doesn't associate with lawbreaking lowlifes.

Dec 18 2008 Stupid Idiots Name Son Adolph Hitler, Bakery Refuses To Make Birthday Cake For The Young Terrorist. Sadly, It Gets Even Worse

A husband and wife team of stupid idiots named their son Adolph Hitler Campbell because, damnit, sometimes beating your kid just isn't enough. "Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name"." Unfortunately, ShopRite supermarket refused to decorate a birthday cake with the little tyke's name on it. Wait, it gets worse.

The shop has also refused to make a cake for Mr Campbell's second child, who turns two next February. Her name is JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. Heath and Deborah Campbell's third child will probably not get a cake from that shop either.

The eight-month-old baby has been named Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, apparently a reference to one of the Nazi's most monstrous leaders, SS head Heinrich Himmler.

For the time being, the matter has been settled - the Campbells had their cake made by Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart, of course. Anything to make a freaking dollar. Seriously though, this couple should have been sterilized long ago. You know, with bullets.

Baker: No Cake For Little Hitler [yahoonews]

Thanks to GRRR, who named his son The Geekologie Writer, because he wants him to grow up just like me.

Nov 17 2008 The World's Best Exercise Machine

We've seen incarnations of the treadmill-cycle in the past, but this one really takes the cake. Mostly because you can run on that mother tandem. And there's nothing cooler than running on a treadmill with wheels directly behind another guy running on the same treadmill with wheels. Seriously, If this thing was any more awesome I'd sell my comic book collection just to invest in the company. But since it's not, I'm going to rob a liquor store. Party at my place later!*

*Guys must bring two girls for admittance. And no ugly ones!

The Most Pointless Exercise Machine of All Time [current]

Thanks to Karilyn and Michael, who both agree I look sexy as hell in my short running shorts.

Jun 30 2008 Drinking And Driving: Party-A-CarGo

The Party-A-CarGo isn't just the worst named product I've seen in recent history, it's also the drinking-and-drivingest. What is it you ask? Why it's a kegorator and sound system hitch, of course. The $3,000 unit holds a regular keg, 5-gallon cooling system, two 6"x9" speakers, 10" subwoofer, and 9" LCD television. No extension kits or dash-mounted taps available, "I've been drinking" sign optional, but not recommended.

Party-A-CarGo slaps a kegorator on the back of your truck [dvice]

Feb 8 2008 Z-Coils: Go Go Gadget Stupid Springy Shoes

Well not only does this make two spring related posts today, it also makes this Inspector Gadget week at Geekologie, first with the personal copter and now the Z-coil spring shoes. First utilized by a clumsy cartoon inspector in the mid 80's, these shoes guarantee to aid you in your mission of capturing Dr. Claw and putting an end to M.A.D.'s illegal operations.

UPDATE: Okay, it turns out I bought a pair of these online one night when I was drunk and they just came. I've been running around the neighborhood and I've got to say, they're surprisingly comfy. I'm gonna take them out in a minute and do some tests to see how high they make me jump.

UPDATE: Not high enough to clear a bus, somebody call an ambulance.

Scariest Vision of the Future on Two Legs [io9]

Thanks to Sebastian, who can jump over buildings with a single leap -- barefooted, for the tip