Those aren't f***ing tacos -- that's a clown nose, dummy! Allegedly (and I stress allegedly HARD and in a real husky voice that makes you weak in the knees and pee a little), a startup in San Francisco wants to sell Mexican food and make deliveries with the use of an autonomou... / Continue →

This is the Japanese Face Slimmer, a $50 (FIFTY DOLLARS?!??!!1) piece of plastic you jam in your mouth to look like a lovedoll. You're supposed to wear it while reciting the vowel sounds of the alphabet three times a minute, twice a day. And that...that's supposed to make you... / Continue →

This is what one day of Flickr uploads -- over a million photos -- looks like printed out and piled all over the floor of an art gallery. It's...a mess. If this were my bedroom growing up there is ZERO CHANCE I would have gotten dessert with dinner. Some pretentious bullshit... / Continue →

Because of all the vampire shit going around, blood (NOT SNOT) is like sooooooo in right now. And what better way to cash in on the venous craze than a line of blood-inspired fingernail polishes? "I can think of a lot of things." Oh, right, RON POPEIL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! ... / Continue →

I'm pretty sure that's an animal's penis. You know what the problem with touchscreens are? Nothing. Well, except when you want to use one in the bathtub but can't because your hands are all wet from playing submarine penis hunter or whatever. I sometimes use my touchphone ... / Continue →

The Ab-hancer is an (fl)ab-enhancing product from the same a-holes who brought us the Ass-istant and Tricep-tional fat-shapers (I'm grasping at straws here folks. Literally -- I'm drunk and there's like five of them in this giant green cocktail). I'm not even sure this is a r... / Continue →

Look in the mirror. Now dig out those eye crusties. Look again. Got a witch's nose? MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP PRACTICING BLACK MAGIC. Or buy a $140 'Omni Beauty Lift High Nose' nose straightener (AND lifter!). Soon nobody will even be able to tell you're half Jewish! *whistl... / Continue →

A $19,000 robotic triceratops that patrols your house taking pictures of would-be burglars: bad idea. A real triceratops with digital cameras taped to its horns taking 3-D pictures of your butt: dream come true. In 2002, TMSUK developed the Banryu ("Guard Dragon") line of m... / Continue →

The Top Charming titty jiggler is supposed to grow breasts by vibrating them to stimulate the blood flow or something. I honestly don't know. What I do know is there's a 5:00 video after the jump that's half titty-twitchin' and half somebody pretending to be a scientist makin... / Continue →

For those of you not familiar with the original, Pleo is a robotic pet dinosaur that starts off as a newly-hatched Camarasaurus, and then develops a unique personality, mood, and habits based on its treatment. Obviously I never bought into them because I watched a video of one... / Continue →