Apr 7 2009 But He Was Just Here: More Urban Camo
Urban camouflage is an ever growing fashion trend as more and more crazy people seem to be out to get you for no particular reason besides being batshit insane. Also, stalking. That's a problem too. Quick, look outside -- I am in your bushes! Can you see me? Sucker -- stalkers can use camo too! Now, look at the second bush to the right. Other way -- your right. You see me waving a stick? Made you look -- that's my penis! Honestly, what do you think?
Hit the jump for five more worthwhile ways to hide in plain sight.
Mar 5 2009 Little Moon Spotted Hiding In Saturn's Rings
Saturn, the second largest moon-whore in the solar system (behind Jupiter), has been caught hiding another trick in one of it's outer rings. What a slut!
The discovery of what appeared to astronomers as a faint, moving pinprick of light, was announced by the International Astronomical Union.
The international Cassini spacecraft spotted the small moon, which measures about a third of a mile wide.
Pfft -- 1/3 mile wide? That ain't no moon. That ain't even a moonlet. That, my friends, is a moonatoid. Come get some, Pluto!
'Moonlet' Found in Outer Saturn Ring [discovery]
Thanks to tarastars, who once stole a moon from Neptune and sold it at a yard sale to buy a video game.
Mar 5 2009 Wait, Where'd He Go?: Urban Camoflauge
There's a robot war to be fought, and regular camo simply won't do. Enter Urban Camouflage, a new kind of outwear that keeps you safe and hidden from a robot's lifeless stare. Urban camouflage comes in three different styles: boxes, bags, and, um, file folders or something. Hit the jump to see them all. Then make your own and practice hiding. LOOK OUT -- ROBOT BEHIND YOU! Haha -- not really, but I wanted you to realize the importance of the situation. Now go change your pants and make some camo.
Hit it for the rest and a link to a much larger gallery.
Feb 24 2009 FREE: Navy Giving Away Stealth Ship & Dock
And I want them!
One is called Sea Shadow. It's big, black and looks like a cross between a Stealth fighter and a Batmobile. It was made to escape detection on the open sea. The other is known as the Hughes (as in Howard Hughes) Mining Barge. It looks like a floating field house, with an arching roof and a door that is 76 feet wide and 72 feet high. Sea Shadow berths inside the barge, which keeps it safely hidden from spy satellites.
The barge, by the way, is the only fully submersible dry dock ever built, making it very handy -- as it was 35 years ago -- for trying to raise a sunken nuclear-armed Soviet submarine.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? A floating safe-haven from the robots! So this is what we're gonna do: pack that vessel chock-full of grade-A seamen and head out on the open ocean. Why, you ask? Because the majority of robots are land-based (we'll still have to watch out for these guys though). Now who's with me? C'mon -- we'll bang mermaids! Heads up though: stay away from Poseidon's daughter. Dude caught me messing around with her in highschool and tried to suck me down the bathtub drain.
Hit the jump for two more of the giveaways.
Continue Reading " FREE: Navy Giving Away Stealth Ship & Dock "
Feb 16 2009 Digging Is Fun!: Backyard Toy Time Capsule
If there's one thing my grandpappy taught me it's how to make gin in the bathtub. And, if there's another, it's how to bury your money in coffee cans. So he would probably scoff at paying $20 for the Backyard Safari Underground Time Capsule. And, to make matters worse, you're only supposed to bury the POS six inches under the ground so you can still fill it with more garbage via the fake rock screw-off lid. Hey kids, I've got news for you: if I see a fake rock in your yard, I'm digging that shit up and stealing your G.I. Joes and love letters from Susie Q Heartbreak. And, if it turns out to just be a house key hiding rock, I'm letting myself in and kicking your ass! Happy President's Day!
Underground Time Capsule perfect for hiding things in the dirt [dvice]
Sep 4 2008 37 Prisoners Caught Hiding Cell Phones In Their Bodies, 7 Require Surgery To Retrieve
In a story that harks back to Captain Sneakapeak and the case of the missing cameraphone, comes this story. 37 Pakistani prisoners at Camp Jail were found to be hiding cell phones in their bodies. All but seven were easily removed. The seven that didn't come out so easily were all smart phones. Those required surgery. Read: removal of the asshole. Just kidding, I don't know what they did. What I do know is I'm starting to get worried why my Bluetooth headset and charger haven't passed yet.
7 Prisoners undergo surgery to remove mobile phones from their butts [newlaunches]
Thanks to Silver Sided, who knows a guy who once snuck an entire phonebooth into jail.
Mar 6 2008 Keyboard Offers Storage Underneath, My Liver Rejoices At A Place To Stash Airplane Bottles
Stashing airplane bottles at work is getting to be a hassle, and quite frankly the whole "up the rear" method is getting old (and probably wearing my O-ring out). Well now all my problems have been solved thanks to the Keyboard Organizer. It's a keyboard with a storage compartment underneath and retails for $50.
Key Benefits
*Low Cost
*Organizes the desk
*Makes use of space
*Quality touch and feel
*Blister Packed
*1 year return to base (BNI) warranty
Okay, when "Blister Packed" (aka clam shelled) is a key benefit of your product it's a sign you need to go ahead and fire the entire marketing department. Who in the hell likes blister packs? Are these people freaking crazy? The damn thing probably wouldn't fit any airplane bottles anyway. Hold on, phone.
Sorry about that, it was my girlfriend. She was all excited about a storage keyboard she just bought because it comes blister packed. I'm going to cut her brake lines when she comes home for lunch.
PS2 Keyboard And Desktop Organizer [nerdapproved]
