Nov 20 2009 Creepy Robot Stares At You So You Exercise
How would you like this creepy little bastard staring at your ass when you're performing squats? Or maybe holding your feet while you do crunches? Or maybe you've got to be out of your got-damn mind!
Bandit is helping the University of Southern California Center for Robotics and Embedded Systems conduct a study on exercise training. 70 volunteers of all ages (including 20 people aged 60 or older living in retirement homes) will have either Bandit himself or Bandit on video as a trainer, and the researchers will try to figure out if the physical presence of the robot makes a difference.
That's right, they named him Bandit. As in, "Give me all your internal organs!" Listen, you want me to tell you whether a robot's presence helps you lose weight? It does -- and I'll prove it. SEND IN THE ROOMBA! *Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!* There, I feel four pounds lighter already. Oh, and I'm not cleaning that shit up either.
Video of the little jerkbag after the jump.
Continue Reading " Creepy Robot Stares At You So You Exercise "
Nov 18 2009 Ninja Fail: Overconfident (And Drunk) Ninja Attempts Fence Jump, Ends Up Impaled
A drunk and overzealous ninja, who may be the guy in this picture but was probably the kid in this video, attempted jumping over a fence in Seattle, Washington, only to impale himself on a pole. I knew about buttpirates, but who knew there were buttninjas too?! You're no drunken master!
Seattle police say a man who thought he was ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it. An officer who was looking for an assault victim nearby Monday night heard the man screaming for help. Police supported him to prevent further injuries until medics arrived and took him to a hospital, where he was in serious condition in intensive care on Tuesday.
Police spokeswoman Renee Witt wrote in a department Web site posting that officers thought the man might have been involved in the reported assault, but he insisted he was just a ninja trying to clear a 4- to 5-foot-tall fence.Witt says the man was "overconfident in his abilities," and that alcohol likely played a role.
Listen, as a public service to you Geekologie Readers that think you might be ninjas, I've got news for you: you're not. You don't wear Velcro shoes so you can be ready to strike at a moment's notice, you wear Velcro shoes because you never learned to tie regular ones. And the katana set you bought at the kiosk at the mall? You've cut yourself playing Ninja Turtles, haven't you? The prosecution rests.
Police: Would-be Seattle
ninja impaled on fence [googlenews]
Thanks to Michelle loves ninjas drunk or otherwise, Rachel, Justin, Fluffy Frontstein, wes, Sally and Lizze, who actually are trained killers and could have easily cleared that fence.
Nov 13 2009 Yeah, No: Video From Top of The Burj Dubai
This is a video taken from the top of the Burj Dubai, the tallest building in the world, at 2,684 ft. Jesus, that's half a mile. Can you believe humans are even capable of this? I can't -- I shit my swim trunks on the high dive once. But, to my credit, I did do one hell of a cannonball.
This Video From the Tip Top of the Burj Dubai Makes Me Sick to My Stomach [gizmodo]
Thanks to Rick, who has dived off higher platforms into a cup of water. I mean, he died, but he did do it.
Oct 3 2009 It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360
Want an XBox 360 signed by Sarah Palin? Me neither. But if you still want to go and blow a cool $1.1 million on one, congratulation, you're an idiot. Also, what's your home address?
The infamous Sarah Palin XBOX 360 was autographed at the governors picnic on July 24, 2009, in Wasilla, Alaska, just two days before her resignation as governor of that state. You can own this 60GB, perfect-condition, one-of-a-kind item before her expected run for president of the United States of America in 2012.
When the governors picnic took place, there were hordes of people trying to see her, but I pushed my way through the crowd to the front of the line. When I was in front of Sarah Palin, I told her that I had traveled three days to see her and asked her to sign my Xbox360. She said it was the most extravagant thing she had ever been asked to sign. I shook her hand, removed myself from the crowd, and then I packed up my Xbox360 and headed home. It was one of the greatest thrills of my life to have watched Sarah Palin on CNN, SNL, Youtube, and then to see her right in front of me.
What the hell's the matter with this guy? Reminds me of all the idiots trying to sell Wii's for $1 million the week before Christmas. Just saying, I wouldn't even pay that for a console signed by Princess Peach AND Zelda. I would pay that for one signed by The Geekologie Writer though. Contact me for more info.
Hit the jump for a picture of Palin signing it.
Continue Reading " It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360 "
Apr 14 2009 Worth $500K?: The Human Regenerator
The Human Regenerator is a $553,400 piece of monkey shit that's supposed to make you live longer or something. Personally, I think it looks suspiciously like Superman's tanning bed of solitude.
The Human Regenerator is a Quantum-Pulse-Device that imitates and generates the cellular body's natural frequencies ranging between 0.0005 and 38,000 Hz.
Through intensive treatment with the body's own healthy frequencies, the organism is regenerated in a natural way. This process is enhanced by specially treated silicium and aluminum depots, which with the help of right spinning protos have an anti-aging effect.Furthermore, longitudinal waves are used as a filter to create more human-like waves, therefore adding pure positive energy to the body.
Very convincing technology there. Unfortunately, only 50 of the devices are being made, and "will be offered to a small circle of prominent figures of our time." But if you showed up with $500K, I guarantee you could get one. And also, maybe some hooker action. Which, let's be realistic, will do a lot more for you than Quatum-Cell-Coding ever will -- provided you wrap it up. Otherwise, cooties bro.
Thanks to Mushishi, who's also selling a cellular regenerator that looks suspiciously like a microwave oven with no door.
