Oct 23 2009 Okaaaay: Kenwood Mixer/Cooker Combo
Kenwood, a company best known for making the aftermarket car speakers in the back of my truck, is making this kitchen appliance. The Kenwood KM070 Cooking Chef is a mixer/cooker combo, capable of mixing shit together and then heating it up to 140°C (240°F) so you can eat it and get all full and then sit around watching TV with your hand in your pants. I've seen you before! And I liked what I saw.
It looks like your standard mixer, with a large 6.7L bowl capacity and 8 mixing speeds, but it also features an 1100W induction heating system that allows you to cook food directly in the mixing bowl.
Temperatures can be set between 20°C to 140°C for warming or actual cooking, and there's even a steam basket attachment allowing you to prepare an entire meal without ever turning on the stove. The only downside is that once again convenience doesn't come cheap, so you can expect to pay around $1,600+ for the Cooking Chef.
I honestly don't know anything cooking except eating pizza and ice creams, but maybe this is a handy appliance. I don't really know how, but maybe it is. But hey, you could write upward of thirty pages about the things I don't know. Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why did Judas rat to Romans why Jesus slept? Kidding, I know all those. I'm sure there's something though.
Kenwood's Cooking Chef Mixer Takes The Stove Out Of The Equation [ohgizmo]
Aug 14 2009 Solar Shower Provides Hot Water In 2 Hours
The $200 Solar Power Shower can heat up to 8 liters of water to 140° Fahrenheit in as little as two hours, provided it's outside in the sun and not in your basement.
It's a lot more sophisticated than a simple camping solar shower, because this one mixes that 140° water with cool water from the garden hose, giving you plenty of toasty warm water at just the right temperature.
Impressive, but I don't really have a need for a solar powered shower. I do, however, have a need for that chick in the picture. Seriously, I'm getting hungry. HIYO!
Jul 17 2009 Cell Phone Lighter: For All Your Cancer Needs
The SB6309 Lighter Phone isn't just the best named cellphone ever, it's also the first with a functional cigarette lighter. Brain AND lung cancers in one fell swoop! But seriously, mind if I do a J?
instruction
SB6309 The world's first mobile phone with lighter!
Patent product Gold cigarette lighter
Defend wind,
No gas,
Never blew out
Suit for high altitude areas
Well technically, those weren't instructions. They were, however, convincing. That's right -- you're looking at the first U.S. authorized dealer! Haha, now my garage is on fire.
Lighter phone may be the most dangerous cellphone ever [dvice]
Thanks to FDSY, who once went to a strip club where the strippers dipped their nipples in wax and you were allowed to light your cigarettes off them.
Jun 21 2009 Babyglow 'Sleep Suits' Indicate Temperature
Babyglow Sleep Suits are basically Hypercolor onesies for babies. If the baby's temperature passes 98.6°F (37°C), it turns white, indicating possible sickness. Also, if it's vomit covered, that could be a sign. Available this fall, a 3-pack will set you back $35. Alternatively, a 36-pack of Trojans for $17.94....
....
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
Babyglow Garment Changes Color When Your Baby Is Running A Fever [ohgizmo]
Jun 9 2009 Will Future Ovens Cook With Lasers? (Yes)
Electrolux just ran another one of their harebrained design competitions and this laser-powered oven created by Ludovic Peperstaete was one of the featured designs. It cooks with pews!
Instead of heating elements or an open flame, food is cooked via 3 harmless lasers that are targeted by the cook. And while a single laser supposedly isn't strong enough to cook food, we all know that crossing two lasers can cook anything from a Thanksgiving turkey to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
I, for one, welcome our pew pew oven overlords. Now, bake me a cake! What do you mean, "there's already a bun in the oven"? I thought we did it in the broiler. WELL THEY'RE TOO CLOSE TOGETHER -- HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!
Could A Laser Oven Be In Our Future? Pew Pew! [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Damian, who cooks his meals the old fashioned way: by leaving it to a woman.
Jun 9 2009 USB Microwave Is World's Smallest, For Beans
The Heinz Beanzawave is being billed as the world's smallest microwave and measures a scant 7.4 inches tall by 6.2 inches wide and 5.9 inches deep. It's equally suited for heating a can of beans/soup at your desk or frying your nuts so you can't have children.
The mini microwave is being developed as a partner to Heinz Snap Pots, baked beans in single-serving containers. The Snap Pots, available in the U.K., fit perfectly into the Beanzawave. But the $160 device will only be released commercially if consumer feedback is positive and if component prices drop in the near future.
Well you can count me on board. I'M ON A BOAT! Just kidding, I wish I was though. No, right now I'm just laying in bed topless braiding my penises. Now where'd I put that scrunchie?
Beanzawave: The World's Smallest Microwave [fastcompany]
Thanks to scottsc, who cooks his beans at work the old fashioned way: on a campfire in the boardroom.
Apr 28 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Animal-Shaped Radiators
Guus van Leeuwen's Domestic Animal radiators heat your home without all the shedding and feces associated with keeping a real animal in the house.
[The] radiators are made using between 40 and 60 pieces of steel tubing which are bent using a computer and then welded together by the Eindhoven-based designer. The radiators can then be connected to the heating pipes via the tail. The pelts are real and have been filled with wheat seeds in order to conserve the heat.
Well it's about time! You hear that, Mr. Badger? It's time for you to make like a tree and get out of here. I mean it -- OUT! Oh, being stubborn are we? Fine. *BLAM!* Badger steak for everyone! And, on a 100% completely unrelated note that has absolutely nothing at all to do with sleeping with a badger -- anybody know how to get blood out of bedsheets?
Hit the jump for closeups of the different animals.
Continue Reading " Sure, Why Not?: Animal-Shaped Radiators "
Feb 20 2009 Toasty: Bra Dryer Heats Your Hooter Holsters
The BraDryer concept is a dryer for your lacy boulder holders. The ones you don't want going in the regular dryer. As you can see, it looks like a pair of knockers, which led to this burn on my hand. Obviously, it was worth it. *TSSSSSSS* I copped another one!
Bra Dryer is the Most Useful Device Shaped Like a Pair of Boobs Ever [gizmodo]
Thanks to Crystal, who gets to see real boobs all the time because shes has some. Unfortunately, so do I. :(
Jan 14 2009 I'll Take Three, Please: USB Hooter Heaters
I really don't have too much more information on these except they're USB powered boob burners. I think they cost this much: 1,980円. I dunno, they freaking heat your hoo-hoo's, what more do you want from me? Wait a....also, they're a fire hazard. Yes, very dangerous. Funny story, ladies -- I was born with naturally warm hands. And also, a nipple on my back. Too much information?
Product Site
and
Boob Warmer! [rinkya]
Thanks to Laurel and ClaMs, who keep their breasts warm the way God intended, with good old fashioned lightning.
Nov 12 2008 Heat Sensitive Pillows Change Colors, Whee!
The Please Touch Pillow wants you to touch in -- in a bad way. So it can change colors! They cost $160 and are made by witches. The more you wash them the less color changing they get, until, eventually, they're just regular pillows you paid $160 for. Now there was something else I was going to say, what was it? Oh right, I had a Hypercolor shirt 20 years ago! Sucketh thine, Please Touch Pillow -- I shalt not fondle thee!
Please Touch Pillow [outblush]
Thanks again to RyanThePerson, who may or may not be RyanThePillowFondler behind closed doors.
Oct 16 2008 I'll Never Be Cold Again!: A LEGO Radiator
Allegedly this is a real radiator called the Brick, designed by architect Marco Baxadonne and manufactured by Scirocco. No word on price, but I think we can all agree that money is no object when it comes to a LEGO radiator. Unless it's more than $60, in which case, f*** it, I'm going with DUPLO.
Brick LEGO radiator keeps nerds warm [slipperybrick]
Thanks to idid yamum, who, wait a minute!
Aug 27 2008 BEEP BOOP BEEP: Ultra-Rare R2-D2 Fridge
This R2-D2 fridge, one of only 1,000 given away at Japanese 7-11's back in 2002 as a promotional prize for when Attack of the Bones came out, is now for sale by ToyEast. The trashcanny droid can both cool and heat your meat, but asking price is a staggering $1,070. So yeah, a little out of my price range. But I did just call up a Jawa buddy of mine and told him I'd pay upwards of $40 for one in good condition. Then I threatened to gouge those glowing eyes right out of his freaking head if he doesn't make it happen. Shifty little bastard stole my toaster once.
Hit the jump for one more picture of the handsome devil.
Continue Reading " BEEP BOOP BEEP: Ultra-Rare R2-D2 Fridge "
Jun 5 2008 Boeing Tested New 25 kW Laser While I Hid Under My Bed And Waited To Blow Up
Boeing recently tested their new 25 kilowatt solid-state laser, which is a step in the direction of a future 100 kW (keep in mind the Death Star was only packing something like 80 kW*) ray that will blow up the whole world and possibly Mars and Venus (which, honestly, is a shitty planet that we're better off without).
The thin-disk laser is an initiative to demonstrate that solid-state laser technologies are now ready to move out of the laboratory and into full development as weapon systems. Solid-state lasers are powered by electricity, making them highly mobile and supportable on the battlefield.
A high-power solid-state laser will damage, disable or destroy targets at the speed of light, with little to no collateral damage, supporting missions on the battlefield and in urban operations.
Okay, I have no idea what that means because I'm not a scientist (I'm just a guy who looks sexy as hell in a white lab coat), but I think what they're saying is you shouldn't stare directly at it.
*I made that up so don't email me complaining about how the Death Star's superlaser was like 50,000 billion kW
Boeing Successfully Fires 25 kW Solid-State Lasers, Laser Weapons One Step Closer to Being a Reality [gizmodo]
Dec 20 2007 Jet Engine Toaster Heats Bread Quickly
I've never really had a problem with the average of 141 seconds it takes bread to toast. It's only two minutes and change, just long enough to mix a morning cocktail and get the jelly out of the fridge. But if you can't stand the wait, maybe the Speedy Slice toaster is for you. Designed by Oliver Newberry and being produced by Heinz, the thing toasts bread in only 50 seconds. It uses two ducted 10,000 RPM fans to blow hot air over the toast from both sides and features mysterious "nylon-based laser technology", which in layman's terms means the toaster is a laser guided missile jet engine. You ever had a piece of toast after your damn toaster sucked the cat into its engine? It's hairy and tastes like shit.
Note: I just noticed that the unit appears to only heat a single piece of bread at a time. So, while my toaster may take 141 seconds, it heats four pieces at once, whereas this unit would take 200. So, yeah, baked beans on toast, gross.
Heinz Speedy Slice Turbofan Toaster [ohgizmo]
