Nov 3 2009 The Gift Of Love: A Beating Heart Plushie
Looking for the perfect gift for that special someone? Give them your heart! Well, not your actual heart (unless you know that creepy mother from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). With just a shake this $18 anatomically correct heart from ThinkGeek begins making beating noises and pulsating in your lover's hand! Perfect to sleep with whenever your significant other is out of town. Or in town cheating on you!*
*Tear absorbent
ThinkGeek Product Site
via
Plush Beating Heart: Halloween and Valentine's Day All Rolled Up Into One [uberreview]
Oct 15 2009 Didn't Need To See That: Hello Kitty Anatomy
Ever wonder what was inside Hello Kitty? Me neither, I just assumed it was hairballs and maybe one of those toy mice. Boy was I wrong -- apparently she has guts. Aaaaaah I just want to lick them!
As part of the Dr. Romanelli x Hello Kitty collaboration we see the release of the "Anatomy" toys. The toy comes in two colorways and features a true Dr. design, revealing the inner organs of the iconic character. The toys have been produced by Medicom Toy.
Wow, so it's a real toy. That's cool. I guess you have to teach your kids about anatomy somehow. And no, NOT BY LETTING THEM SHOWER WITH YOU. Also, I like the Band-Aids on Hello's heart, I thought that was a nice touch. TELL ME WHO HURT YOU, KITTY, I'LL KILL THEM! Also, I'm no vet but you might not what that turd floating so close to your vital organs.
Hit the jump for the other color and a shot of the two models together.
Continue Reading " Didn't Need To See That: Hello Kitty Anatomy "
Aug 29 2009 Bokeh Filter Turns Light Blurs Into Shapes
The Bokeh filter is a $10 physical filter for your camera that turns out of focus light blurs in the background into shapes like hearts and stars and spirals (separate filter required for each). It works by magic. But not black magic, because you don't want to eff with that shit unless you absolutely have to.
One of the fastest growing fads in modern photography is bokeh shapes. Bokeh shapes are shapes of light in the blurred background of photos. These shapes are achieved by using a bokeh filter over the camera lens. Bokeh is a photography term derived from the Japanese word for blurred. Bokeh refers to the unfocused background in a photo.
The Bokeh Filter is a simple filter that clips onto the end of your lens. This filter blocks out pieces of light that cause the bokeh (blur) in your images to take the shape of the filter.
Neato. Now if they could just create a camera filter that makes my face look like Brad Pitt's, maybe I wouldn't be losing so many Facebook friends. I'M A MONSTER! Truck, monster truck. VROOM VROOM, I AM CRUSHING YOUR CAR!
Hit the jump for a video of the filter in action, directly from a camera.
Continue Reading " Bokeh Filter Turns Light Blurs Into Shapes "
Aug 24 2009 Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers
In Japan's unending quest to grow edibles shaped like other things comes these heart and star shaped cucumbers.
These cucumbers represent the cumulative efforts of an agricultural coop determined to make food preparation a little bit more exciting. Comprised of nine women in Chiba, a suburb of Tokyo, this grass roots organization cleverly uses plastic molds affixed to the stem of the plant, with which they can create heart and star shapes when the cucumber is sliced cross-wise.
These romantic cucumbers are selling at fancy supermarkets in Tokyo and as specially ordered wedding gifts at ceremonies throughout Japan. They cost 300 yen each (about $2.50).
Nice try, growers, but Lucky Charms has been growing marshmallows in different shapes for years. Anybody ever picked through a whole box to make a bowl of nothing but marshmallows? Well I hope you washed your hands first.
Hit the jump for what the vegetables look like ON A SALAD.
Continue Reading " Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers "
Aug 10 2009 Billy Mays Was OxyCleaning His Nostrils?
It is being reported that famous TV pitchman Billy Mays may have died as a result of drug use. Namely, cocaine. The white horse.
An official autopsy report released Friday found that cocaine use contributed to the heart disease that suddenly killed TV pitchman Billy Mays in June, but his family called the finding "speculative" and considered getting an independent look at the results.
The medical examiner "concluded that cocaine use caused or contributed to the development of his heart disease, and thereby contributed to his death," the office said in a press release.
BILLY MAYS WAS SNORTING THAT NOSE CLEANIN' CANDY! Do you think he was huffing Orange Glo too? Because I did once, and let me tell you -- KABOOM! See what I did there? Because I can do that all night. And by that I mean it (my Mexican boner pills just arrived). Cleaning ladies?
Autopsy: Cocaine contributed to Billy Mays' death [yahoonews]
Thanks to Jason, who once drank a bottle of Orange Glo and had the best night ever. Hospitals are fun!
Jul 30 2009 Blocky Love: A Tetris Heart Tattoo
A Tetris heart tattoo, I love it. I can't really tell what part of the body it's on, but I'm gonna go ahead and pretend it's not the taint. Because that would be a big one.
Hit the jump for several more Tetris tattoo, including another heart.
Jun 23 2009 Don't Squash Me, Bro!: Cockroach Heart May Hold Key To Better Artificial Human Hearts
Sure it may look like an electric motor inside a bocce ball inside a bomb with nipple shields glued on, but it's actually a pump inside a bocce ball inside a bomb with nipple shields glued on. And apparently it's the key to building a better heart.
...while human hearts have four chambers, a cockroach heart uses 13 leaving plenty of redundancy. When a chamber fails in a human heart, you basically have a heart attack and most likely die, while a cockroach can have a chamber fail and barely notice it.
This new Biventricular Pump artificial heart developed at the Indian Institute of Technology in Kharagpur, uses a multi-chamber design just like those pesky roaches, and designer Sujoy K. Guha says that this vastly improves its long term reliability when compared with more traditional pneumatic designs.
Well alright, I'm all for a better built heart. Especially considering how women are so prone to RIPPING THEM OUT AND TEARING THEM APART. No, really, I'm not bitter.
Indian artificial heart design uses cockroach heart technology [dvice]
Thanks to FDSY, who is helping me build an iron heart.
May 12 2009 Wuv, Tru Wuv: Heart-Shaped Watermelons
What? I CAN QUOTE The Princess Bride IF I WANT. There's no shame in my game. Or extra lives. Anyway, just in time for not Valentine's Day, Japanese jolly ranchers Kiroichi Kimura and his wife have perfected a way of growing heart-shaped watermelons, which sell for up to $160. It took three years to develop the process, which involves implanting a watermelon seed in a giant's heart and then slaying it and removing the melon afterward. Nice, guys, but I think I still stick to regular-shaped melons. *ahem* I'm looking at you, female Geekologie reader.
Heart-shaped watermelons in Japan [japanprobe]
Thanks to Ashnod, ffffffffffffffffffffff and NESbeast, who are holding out for spleen shaped watermelons.
Feb 13 2009 See, This Is Why You're Fat
I'm serious, lay off the Turbaconucken. But it's just so good! *chewing* Hit the jump to see a bunch more delectable treats from thisiswhyyourefat.com that will stop your heart before you can say NOM NO
Feb 12 2009 Just In Time For Valentine's!: An Ox Is Born With A Heart On Its Head, Named "Heart"
Per the Gospel according to Geekologie:
And before the day of Valentine's, you will be blessed with an ox. And this ox will carry a sign. Of peace and love. And also, deliciousness. Jesus, quick -- water into barbecue sauce!
Hit the jump for another very special Valentine's heart animal.
Feb 6 2009 Geekologie Reader's Bacon Beerito Recipe
Loyal Geekologie Reader Sheniferous decided to share his Beer Burrito with me. And, since caring means sharing, I decided to pass along the coronary infarction to you. No need to thank me folks, just dig in.
We start off with the secret filling (Geekologie Writer's note: appears to be a rice and vegetable mixture -- Sheniferious, I'm thinking sausage and pepperoni next time), that's swimming in an All-Malt Porter. Then we bake porter-marinated bacon and not only chop it up in to bits for the beerito filling, but then lay two strips in the beerito. The beerito is then wrapped in porter-soaked tortillas, wrapped with two thicker porter-marinated strips of bacon. It's then dipped in beer batter and deep fried. Mmmm...mmm delicious!!!
My goodness, that sounds delectable. I've been living off Kid Cuisines and gin for the better part of a year now, and I've got to admit: marathon runs.
Hit the jump for a couple more and a link to the Flickr gallery.
Continue Reading " Geekologie Reader's Bacon Beerito Recipe "
Dec 29 2008 Mmmm, Gutsy: A Thorax Cake
Damn that looks delicious. I just want to eat it up. Then slather the leftovers on a naked chick, take some moderately tasteful(!) erotic photographs, and sneak out a window while she cleans up.
The plan was for each organ to be made out of a different kind of cake and to secrete a different color of fluid when it was cut into. Previous heart cakes have bled fresh, homemade raspberry sauce. Sadly, the organs didn't bleed as well as I had hoped when I cut the cake, as each organ was relatively small and couldn't hold much sauce. Also all the moving around after filling the organs made it hard to keep the sauce contained in the little cavities I hollowed out. The heart bled pretty well, but the other organ fluids weren't very dramatic.
Heart - orange cake with raspberry sauce
Lungs - apple spice cake with strawberry sauce
Kidneys - orange cake with blueberry sauce
Stomach - ginger cake with mango sauce
Liver - chocolate cake with kiwi sauce
Small Intestine - jelly roll with red currant jelly
My God does that sound good. And I'm not even a big fan of purification organs. Now pipe organs -- that's another story. DOOT DOO DOO DOO DOO -- DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT!! Anybody? Phantom of the Opera!
Hit the jump for a ton more of the construction and final product.
Dec 11 2008 Pfft, Hearts Are Overrated Anyways
If God wasn't too busy spiting me every morning, he'd eat this shit for breakfast.
Hit the jump for a picture of the finished product.
Nov 24 2008 ZOMG, Cutest Roomba Driver Ever!
This is a video of a cat driving a Roomba. Really warms the cockles, doesn't it? Speaking of which, what the hell's a cockle?
NOUN:
1. Any of various bivalve mollusks of the family Cardiidae, having rounded or heart-shaped shells with radiating ribs.
2. The shell of a cockle.
3. A wrinkle; a pucker.
4. Nautical: A cockleshell.
That makes no sense whatsoever. Ah, here we go:
IDIOM:
cockles of (one's) heart
One's innermost feelings: The valentine warmed the cockles of my heart.
So, ethically speaking, is it okay to eat cockles because they don't have any? Steam on that one for a minute. Then, admit you just got your ass philosophized off by the Geekologie Writer! You little cockle gobblin' fools you.
Thanks to my brother Frank, whose miniature dachshund Link refuses to ride the Roomba. Seriously little guy, do it for Zelda.
Nov 20 2008 7-Legged Spider Drawing Sells On eBay
Remember my personal hero David Thorne and his seven-legged spider drawing that was idiotically refused as payment for a $233.95 bill? Well the spider just sold on eBay -- for $10,000. And guess who won? This guy. *pointing at self* Ow, my eye. But yeah, I thought about just printing out a copy of the drawing, but then decided that would be immoral. Because I don't steal things -- except women's hearts! I keep them in a cooler full of ice and sell them on the black market. "Hearts! Get your hearts here! Also, ice cold beer."
UPDATE: Somebody on eBay is now selling accessories for seven and eight-legged spider drawings. Hit the jump to see their Santa hat and Buddhist's robe.
Aug 26 2008 Racing Across Azeroth In Real Life
Two guys made rigs that turns running on treadmills into their characters actually running through Azeroth. They made them by attaching a bike wheel with an optical mousepad and mouse to the treadmills. It's estimated that characters in the game run around 12MPH, but since the two didn't want to have simultaneous heart attacks, they rigged the system to only have to run 6MPH themselves for their characters to reach that 12MPH top speed. How did it work out? You'll have to watch the video after the jump to find out. But suffice it to say that even running at a paltry 6MPH, they were both dangerously close to myocardial infarctions. I hope all of you WoW players out there learn a valuable lesson from this. One about the benefits of performance enhancing drugs.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video of the race.
Jul 2 2008 For The Plushie Trifecta: Plush Guts
First it was particle plushies, followed by microbe plushies, and now, for the win and trifecta, come plush guts. Each organ is about 6"-8" in size and run between $16-$20 (except for the limited edition heart of gold, that one will set you back $30). I personally just bought a backup liver and uterus but was disappointed to find they don't sell my favorite organ. You do know the one I'm talking about, don't you? The spleen, how can they not sell the spleen?
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of different organs, including the coveted heart of gold.
Jun 6 2008 OMGWTFNOBBQ?: Cannibal Banquets
A "Cannibal Banquet" is gross and involves eating a sort of fake human.
Here's how the Cannibal Banquet works... a pinata-like "body" is carefully crafted, then stuffed with edible goodies in a red sauce. More "sauce" is somehow embedded into the outside covering - "skin" as it were - of the body so that it will appear to bleed when cut into.
What.The.F***? And I thought the Bread Head Bakery was an assault on good taste. This cannibal banquet is a fullblown wack attack. I'd still try it though. Save the neck for me, Clark. Ooh, and a breast.
Hit the jump for worthwhile before and after shots (don't worry, the beaver is pixelated in traditional Japanese porn fashion).
May 27 2008 Unacceptable: This Freaking Keyboard
Wow, and I thought my roommate's Cheeto and pube keyboard was bad. He's got nothing on this guy. It looks like he's trying to burn his house down. Hrrm, let's dive deeper into the mind of the psychopath behind this epic grossness by analyzing the picture.
Evidence: He likes smoking. A lot. And Lucky Strikes too. He often forgets about his burning cigarettes and/or passes out at the desk.
Analysis: Heroin addict.
Evidence: Package of Pepcid Duo.
Analysis: Suffers from heartburn.
Evidence: Two uneaten baked potatoes, still wrapped in aluminum foil.
Analysis: Likes sour cream.
Evidence: Bottle of Gordon's gin just out of frame on the far right.
Analysis: Wait a minute -- that's my keyboard! Damn I have womanly hands.
Yummy! [geekarmy]
Thanks Shawn, you can have one of the potatoes if you want
May 1 2008 Albert Hofmann, Father Of LSD, Passed Away
Albert Hofmann, the father of LSD (that awesome stuff that makes the walls melt and/or talk to you), has died of a heart attack at age 102.
Albert Hofmann (January 11, 1906 - April 29, 2008) was a Swiss scientist best known for having been the first to synthesize, ingest and communicate the strong hallucinogenic effects of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD). Hofmann authored more than 100 scientific articles and wrote a number of books, including LSD: My Problem Child. On January 11, 2006, Hofmann became a centenarian, and the occasion of his 100th birthday was the focus of an international symposium on LSD.
That's a picture of him there at age 100, looking healthy and zany as ever. Which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that acid is, in fact, the fountain of youth.*
* This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. It has, however, been evaluated by me tripping balls and going to the rollerskating rink. Which was great -- I talked to my skates for over an hour. Good people.
Wikipedia
Thanks to Kathryn, who's a real trip to be around, for the tip
