Apr 24 2009 Sure, Why Not?: The YI Zipper Headphones

Ji Woong designed the YI Zipper Headphones in the form factor of a zipper. They were designed to keep your wires tidy and look cool, but the pull even doubles as a volume controller. So now you finally have an excuse to play with your headphones and make zipper noises. Rub your corduroy pant legs together and clap and TA-DA!: you're a one man band. Unless you're a woman, in which case you and I should make a duet. Then love. Then....me a sandwich. No -- a gyro. :)

Zip it: YI Zipper earphones keep cables zipped up and tidy [dvice]

Thanks to Captain Jonald and Pikksky, who have thankfully never had a ball caught in their zipper. Trust me guys, you don't want to. It feels like a carpenter driving a burning nail into your change purse.

Mar 26 2009 Head Phones Inspired By Favorite Songs

Nokia recently held a promotion encouraging designers to make a pair of headphones inspired by their favorite song. The set above is entitled 'I'm Flying' and was (no joke) created in honor of R Kelly's "I Believe I can Fly", which I am now declaring a euphemism for peeing on someone. Per the Geekologie Writer's dictionary:

I believe I can fly

Slang terminology for peeing on your partner for sexual gratification.

Honey, quick -- to the bathtub, I believe I can fly!!

Hit the jump for a set of 'Thriller' inspired headspeakers.

Continue Reading " Head Phones Inspired By Favorite Songs "

Mar 11 2009 New iPod Shuffle Speaks, Lacks Wheel

The new iPod Shuffle's capacity has been doubled to 4GB, and now the minuscule music player doesn't have a control wheel. But how will you ever reign over your music? Simple -- with controls on the earbud cord. WHEE!

The new design keeps the clip and adds VoiceOver -- a new feature that gets around the lack of display by telling you which song is playing and who performs it at the touch of a button on the earbud cable. It'll also call out your playlists and let you navigate to others. Available in black or silver for $80 and your claim to what Apple calls the "world's smallest music player."

World's smallest music player my ass. I happen to own the world's smallest music player. It's a violin. *rubbing fingers together* Can you hear that? It's the REAL world's smallest music player playing "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath. Bitchin'!

Five minute promotional video about the new Shuffle after the jump.

Continue Reading " New iPod Shuffle Speaks, Lacks Wheel "

Apr 28 2008 I-Doser Is Allegedly Like Drugs For Your Ears, I Am (Un)Surprisingly Very, Very Skeptical

I-Doser is some program you download and it plays music that synchronizes with your brainwaves or something and makes you feel like your own drugs. I could be completely wrong here, because I didn't actually read anything about it, but I'll post some of their captivating marketing bullshit here:

Using proven, scientific, and safe methods of synchronizing your brainwaves, a simulated state can be achieved through the use of our advanced Binaural Methods.

I-Doser for the PC is the most advanced computer application available to achieve a simulated mood or experience through the use of binaural beats. Use I-Doser to play doses purchased through the I-Doser store. Each Dose is scientifically designed to give you the optimal measure of beats Safely and Effectively to induce state.

Now maybe someone can explain that to me. I didn't download the program (despite the two free dose offer), so this isn't a definitive review. However, my tipster (who I have never met but would definitely trust with my life) had this to say about the experience:

i tried "marijuana" and i bashed my head open on a shelf! ahhaha

Well after hearing that I decided that I would at least listen to a few of the I-Doser sample tracks. So I clicked "Sample" button and then selected "Trip". I'm pretty sure it was ripped directly from a Sounds of the Rainforest CD. Then I tried "Orgasm", which was a track of a woman making sounds unlike anything I've ever heard. And no, it's not because I suck in the sack, although I do. It's just because I had a bad experience with an over-talkative ex-girlfriend (read: monster pie-hole, nonstop yap attack) and now date mute chicks exclusively.

I-Doser Website

Thanks to Elizabeth, who is way cooler than drugs could ever be, for the tip

Mar 24 2008 Grandma, You Old Bat, I Said "YOU LOOK FREAKING RIDICULOUS WEARING THOSE"

Batphones were designed by Matthias Ries to help the hard of hearing look funny. They're basically a pair of shaped plastic cups you wear like headphones. I got a pair for my grandma and she loves them. ISN'T THAT RIGHT GRANDMA? I SAID "ISN'T THAT RIGHT?" Damn she still can't hear for shit. Oh, it looks like she dozed off. And is drooling. On my couch. Awesome.

Grandma for sale. Free grandma. Goes by Beatrice. Old exterior, but young at heart. Runs great but may leak fluids on your expensive furniture. Cooks, but not that well and often forgets the stove is on. May present a fire hazard.

Continue Reading " Grandma, You Old Bat, I Said "YOU LOOK FREAKING RIDICULOUS WEARING THOSE" "

Jan 14 2008 SkullCandy Headphones Feature MP3 Player

SkullCandy, who has been featured here before, was showing off a new product at the recent CES -- Double Agent headphones that have an SD slot and incorporated MP3 player. The units are rechargeable, take any size SD card, and are controlled with the buttons on the side of one of the phones. They're supposed to hit streets sometime in March or April, but no word on price. I'm definitely getting a pair to help drown out the demonic voice I hear otherwise. It's awful -- this evil demon tells me to do terrible things like 'the dishes' and 'the laundry'. Once it even made me mow the lawn. I'm really starting to wish I'd never married it.

Double Agent: new headphones with SD card from SkullCandy [ubergizmo]

Jan 8 2008 The 5 Friend MP3 Player Headphone Splitter

Well it looks like I'll be living vicariously though others' posts of the CES due to my wife being a cheapskate and pissing our money away on stupid stuff like "the mortgage" and "food" instead of buying me a plane ticket like a responsible woman would. Up next from the show: the Belkin Rockstar, a headphone splitter that lets you plug up to 5 sets into one MP3 player. The thing comes out in March and will go for right around $20. Why it's called the Rockstar is kind of a mystery to me, unless it's because the thing is star shaped. Because I'm pretty sure real rockstars can each afford their own damn MP3 player. Still a handy device though if you need something for pumping sweet Michael Bolton tunes to the participants in your next circle jerk. Which, I might add, I have never participated in. There were only three of us so it was more a triangle than a circle. Ah, dorm life.

Rockstar MP3 player headphone splitter draws a crowd [dvice]

Aug 3 2007 Skullcandy G.I. Headphones

Skullcandy's new G.I. Headphones come in a variety of military-inspired styles, and even come with bullets across the leather band. They cost $69.95 - which is a bit much considering they're purely fashion-oriented - but they look pretty hardcore. Bullets on the band! These are the kind of headphones you should wear while eating eating a raw steak and spitting.

Product Page [Skullcandy]