May 6 2009 Needs Work: First US Full-Face Transplant
46-year old Connie Culp was nearly killed when her deranged husband literally blasted her face off with a shotgun in 2004. But now, five years later, she has a new face thanks to a recently deceased organ donor (sign your cards!).
She endured 30 operations to try to fix her face. Doctors took parts of her ribs to make cheekbones and fashioned an upper jaw from one of her leg bones. She had countless skin grafts from her thighs. Still, she was left unable to eat solid food, breathe on her own, or smell.
Then, on Dec. 10, in a 22-hour operation, Dr. Maria Siemionow led a team of doctors who replaced 80 percent of Culp's face with bone, muscles, nerves, skin and blood vessels from another woman who had just died. It was the fourth face transplant in the world, though the others were not as extensive."Here I am, five years later. He did what he said -- I got me my nose," Culp said of Djohan, laughing.
I got me my nose, I got me my nose. My goodness what a heartwarming story. Uncensored picture is after the jump, and, not to be insensitive, but it is a little rough on the eyes. Kind of like a belt sander, but with lasers attached. Seriously though, great job, guys.
You have been warned, now hit it.
Continue Reading " Needs Work: First US Full-Face Transplant "
Apr 18 2009 Must Have: Custom Monkey Island Shoes
Converse All-Stars aren't really my thing, but I would make an exception and rock the hell out of these mama-jammas. Inspired by The Secret of Monkey Island, the shoes were hand-painted by a Spanish fan with scenes from the game (the opening and an insult swordfight). Awesome, now I want a pair of custom Monkey Island kicks. Also, a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle. WHEE!
Hit the jump for close-ups of each shoe.
This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!
And I've got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?
Oct 27 2008 Oh God, No. No, No, No: Robot Determines Humans Taste Like Bacon, Are Delicious
Great. NEC's Tasting Robot, the diminutive bastard originally designed to assess wines, has now assessed humans -- and determined they'd taste delicious.
It's all pretty straightforward tech: stick a bit of nosh in front of the robogourmet's infrared spectrometer and it analyzes the reflected light to determine the chemical composition of the sample. A nice trick, although it can only be programmed to accurately identify a few dozen wines.
Innocent enough, you may think. However, when NEC demonstrated the cybersommelier to a reporter and snapper from Associated Press, the robot claimed the former's hand tasted of prosciutto ham, while the latter apparently had the unmistakable whiff of bacon about him.
Great, so it looks like we might end up fighting the robot and zombie apocalypses simultaneously. Wow, could today get any better? Not unless I get hit by a delivery truck. Oh shit -- or see a boob.
Humans taste of bacon, says gourmet robot [theregister]
Thanks to Birchie, king of ruining my day.
Aug 27 2008 Robotic Legs Allow Paraplegics To Walk
Amit Goffer, who was paralyed in a 1997 accident, has invented ReWalk, which gives paraplegics the chance to walk again. Unfortunately, Goffer can't use the system himself, as it requires the use of your arms, which he doesn't have full use of.
The system, which requires crutches to help with balance, consists of motorized leg supports, body sensors and a back pack containing a computerized control box and rechargeable batteries.
The user picks a setting with a remote control wrist band -- stand, sit, walk, descend or climb -- and then leans forward, activating the body sensors and setting the robotic legs in motion."It raises people out of their wheelchair and lets them stand up straight," Goffer said. "It's not just about health, it's also about dignity."
Damn, that's probably the awesomest thing I've heard all day. Good looking, Goffer. I just hope these things don't fall into the hands of the non-paralyzed, lest they build a superhuman army.
Again, awesome. Hit the jump for three more pictures, the second of which is Goffer himself.
Aug 22 2008 I Knew It: My Childhood Sucked Without This Kidtropolis Magic Indoor Treehouse Bedroom
Kidtropolis is a company that makes childhood dreams come true, provided your parents shit gold nuggets. This is an almost finished "Magic Treehouse Bedroom" built for the luckiest kid alive. I mean, not only does the youngster get a treehouse, they get one in their bedroom. They probably have an entire Ewok village in the woods behind their house. Me? I don't even have a treehouse anymore. The town came and tore it down. Something about "not building treehouses on telephone poles". You know what I said? "Urban jungle, bitches, urban jungle!" I sure told them.
Hit the jump for a few more pictures of the awesomeness.
Aug 12 2008 OMG, I Made It: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Many people think Geekologie is written by a computer preprogrammed with bad jokes or a bunch of fairies strung out on magic dust. Well, that isn't entirely true. You see, I came out of a vagina just like many of you did -- but haven't seen one since. Ladies, that was a birthday present hint. So yeah, I'm a year older today. But that's not gonna stop me from Geeking the ologie for all you lovely people! No way. In fact, I have a very special birthday surprise coming up in a few posts, which you will most certainly find worth celebrating. Also, seeing how my girlfriend will clearly forget today's significance, I was wondering if one of you could, I dunno, maybe pick up an ice cream cake?
Jul 9 2008 The Jedi Gym Is Awesome, How Do I Join?
Kind of like the Jedi Academy, comes the Jedi Gym. The video is six minutes long, but actually is worth watching if/when you have the time. Mainly for the guy playing Lando Calrissian (that's him in the still) and the awesome plot twist around 4:00. Now I don't want to ruin anything, but let's just say it was pleasantly unexpected. Kind of like the time I walked in on my girlfriend with another chick. Now I know what you're wondering, and no, I was sadly not invited to participate. I was asked to leave and shut the door behind me. And that, my friends, is the story of how I was almost happy once.
Thanks Brennan, that's just what I needed after the last few traumatizing Star Wars videos
Apr 25 2008 Balding Penguin Gets Custom Made Wetsuit
Sometimes it's a good idea to take a break from the inevitable human destruction by robots and read a beautiful, heartwarming story about a balding penguin. And this, my friends, is that story.
Pierre, a dapper 25-year old African penguin at the California Academy of Sciences, was going bald around his ass (I'm having trouble relating, Pierre) and getting too cold to dive into the water and swim around.
Unlike marine mammals, which have a layer of blubber to keep them warm, penguins rely on their waterproof feathers. Without them, Pierre was unwilling to plunge into the academy's penguin tank and ended up shivering on the sidelines while his 19 peers played in the water. "He was cold; he would shake," said Pam Schaller, a senior aquatic biologist at the academy.
*sniffle* So what did the good people do? They made the little guy a custom wetsuit. And it worked -- he started swimming and diving again. Now Pierre has regrown some of his feathers, is back to being alpha-male, and is even boning his mate again. He is currently being weaned off the wetsuit, and will once again swim au-naturel. Which, incidentally, I can totally relate to. I freaking love swimming naked. Or, you know, just hanging out by the kiddy pool in the front yard, drinking beer and watching traffic go by. If I ever have to stand up for any reason I just cover my junk with a koozie. Are you with me Pierre? Hell yeah you are little buddy, high flipper!
Balding penguin's wetsuit lets him swim again [msnbc]
Thanks to Matt, who looks damn good in a tuxedo himself, for the tip
Dec 24 2007 Man Plays 'Jingle Bells' On Graphics Card
Well tomorrow is Christmas folks. And that means different things to different people. For me it means drinking until my hands turn blue and I try to make out with my sister. Maybe it means something different to you. To get you all in the spirit I'm posting this video of Alessandro Bordin playing 'Jingle Bells' on the heat sink of his graphics card. Enjoy.
Everybody have a good Christmas and hopefully you'll be opening lots of gadgets, gizmos, and awesome tomorrow. If you don't get what you want just get drunk off the nog and start picking fights. After all, nothing says "Happy Birthday Jesus!" like taking a swing at your aunt for buying you something crappy.
Merry Christmas, see you all on Wednesday.
Guy Plays Jingle Bells with Graphics Card [techeblog]
Sep 13 2007 Bees Sniff Bombs, Make Explosive Honey
A company called Inscentinel Ltd. has developed Vapor Detection Instrumentation, which is scientific speak for a couple bees taped to a piece of foam. The bees stick out their tongues when they smell an odor they have been trained to detect. They have been tested on explosives, drugs, counterfeit goods, food quality, and even cancer. I guess it is pretty neat stuff they're doing there, but I can't help but feel sorry for those little bastards taped up in there looking all cute and cuddly. It does say though that "Bees are happy undertaking their sniffing tasks and are comfortable throughout." I'm just curious what metrics were used to determine the level of bee happiness while working. "Hey little guys you happy in there?" "Bzzzzzzzz" "See, totally happy."
UPDATE: For anyone concerned about the poor bees, according to the company "After their working shift the bees are returned to their hive where they happily live out the rest of their lives and are integrated back into the hive." See, sometimes life does have a happy ending, just not in my case.
A couple more pictures after the jump.
Sep 12 2007 Ice Cream Machine Cures Sadness
Dr. Whippy is an ice cream machine with a twist. It uses voice stress analysis to determine a user's degree of unhappiness based on a list of predetermined questions, and then gives the sad bastard an appropriate amount of ice cream. More yummy goodness the sadder you are. I can see it now, my girlfriend tearing the damn thing open and faceplanting right in the ice cream bucket. Not because she's depressed, but because she loves ice cream and is fat. As hell.
Dr. Whippy Ice Cream Machine Cures Sadness [uberreview]
Aug 20 2007 Smile Detecting Camera
Now I'm not a big fan of posting the latest camera or phone or what have you unless it has something real unique about it. And well, this one does (even if it is a sham and doesn't work and is a lie and is stupid). The new Sony Cybershot DSC-T200 has a smile detector. Don't believe it? You're not alone. But Sony insists.
Using Sony’s proprietary algorithm, this innovative intelligent auto shutter system responds actively to smiling faces. To start, just choose SmileShutter from Scene Selection, then press the shutter fully on the subject to be taken; the camera automatically detects the smiling face and closes the shutter. To detect the different degrees of smiles by your subject, you can set Smile Level sensitivity to “high” (to detect a faint smile), “medium” (for a normal smile), or “low” (for a hearty laugh).
While this sounds like a very interesting feature, I don't smile. The batteries will die in the camera and the earth will turn to dust before I do. Smiling is for the weak. Showing that much emotion in a photo basically means your mom dresses you and you're a monster sissy.
