Nov 4 2009 The Airshake: Because Nobody Wants H1-N1
First of all, I thought we all agreed to call it H1N1 or the swine flu and NOT the Mexican Flu. Geez, no need to point fingers. Obvious racism aside, Belgian telecommunications company Telenet has suggested a way to shake hands in which we can still greet each other, but without actually making human contact: the airshake.
"...we desperately need a new way of greeting each other, since greeting is the cornerstone of our social and political life. It's a sign of mutual respect, friendship and equality. As of today we propose to replace the firm handshake by an airshake, that's a handshake without touching one another. So concerned are they, they even created a short video demonstration with Jarabe Tapatio--aka the Mexican Hat Dance--as the soundtrack.
That's right, they used the Mexican Hat Dance. Are all Belgians this racist? Because I will boycott their waffles. It won't be easy but I'll do it.
Hit the jump for a short video demonstration on airshaking.
Continue Reading " The Airshake: Because Nobody Wants H1-N1 "
Sep 11 2009 Lookin' Bad: Bluetooth Ringphone Concept
Who the hell would actually want to talk to their hand like in the picture is beyond me (where do I sign up?), but Argentinian design team BCK designed this set of rings to use as a Bluetooth headset handset. Also, anybody else notice how the thumb above the ring was drawn in, and the pinky looks like it was torn off and sewn back on by Dr. Frankenstein? I wish mine looked like that.
The user talks to the hand using the yellow ring that fits halfway down the little finger, and then listens with the pink ring on the thumb.
This is one concept that probably won't catch on, ever. Unless you can make a display to put on the palm. Maybe there is some alternate reality where this technology came into fruition.One ring to hear your calls,One ring to talk in,
Two rings to take your calls,
and with the Bluetooth bind them.
BWAAHAHAHAHAHA. A Lord of the Rings themed poem, that's too precious. See what I did there? See how I snuck the precious right on in there? Jesus I should teach lessons about being awesome.
Bluetooth Concept turns your finger phone into reality [alphabetatricks]
Thanks to Cinema Obsessed, who isn't obsessed with movies so much as the popcorn.
Aug 31 2009 Fire Hazard: The Wrist Mounted Flamethrower
If you've been reading long enough, you may recall Everett Bradford's Pyro System from early last year. Well now Everett is back with the Pyro System 2.2. Basically, it's a bunch of 3rd degree burns waiting to happen. Ever seen a man melt his own face off before? I have, but only because I was tired of shaving. Suck it, electrolysis!
Thanks to Ethan, Jeff and Matty, who all have flamethrowers mounted on their bikes so you won't follow too close behind. Also, they just look cool.
Aug 6 2009 Fisticups: Because I'm Not A Morning Person
Sure we've already seen brass knuckle inspired coffee receptacles in the past, but, quite frankly, those ones didn't look as good (I did like the blood splatter though). Now the Fisticup from Fred (available mid-September for around $15) -- this is a coffee mug I can really sink my fingers into. But a warning: I will mug you in the face if you even think about asking me to do any work before lunch. You hear that, Steve? You hear that, Dan? Otherwise, two guys, one fisticup, I WILL MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
Fisticup [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Gino, who one punched a coworker with his coffee mug and spilled bourbon everywhere and that's how we all found out he drinks all day at work.
Aug 5 2009 I Knew It, I Knew It!: Toad Is A Rude Jerk
That's right folks: that no good, mushroom topped jerkbag Toad has been flipping us off for almost 25 years now. And honestly, I'm not surprised. I always got a bad feeling from the guy. I mean, I bust my ass to get through a castle to rescue the princess, AND THERE HE IS ALREADY STANDING AT THE END OF THE LEVEL. Anybody else find that a little fishy? Like, why didn't you save her yourself? UNLESS YOU'RE WORKING FOR KOOPA! *DUM DUM DUM* But seriously bro, I want to eat your head and go to a concert.
Thanks to 4thirty, who once licked like six Toads and then talked to a parking meter for 12 hours.
Aug 4 2009 Spaceball: Suck It, You'll Never Be Hallball!
Spaceball is hands down one of the most ridiculous looking games I've ever seen and costs $700. Plus, it sucks to always have to go retrieve the ball when you throw it out of the court. If you can call it a court. Which I just did, SO IT'S ALL GOOD BABY. Basically, you bounce around in there like an idiot and try to throw the ball through the hole in the middle and past your opponent. WHEE! Plus, it's endorsed by astronauts.
According to former astronaut Scott Carpenter, it's "the best conditioning exercise for space travel."
Yeah it is. Because if there's one thing I've learned about space travel it's how similar it is to jumping around on a trampoline and trying to peg your friend in the face with a rubber ball. No -- two men, a ball and a hole -- this is more like that game I play in the truck stop bathroom.
Spaceball: Like Basketball, but More Expensive and Ridiculous [gizmodo]
Jul 31 2009 Robotic Arms Have Come A Long Way. A Long, Much More Deadly Way (Hold Me)
This is a video of a bunch of different robotic hands showing how dexterous they are at bouncing balls, gripping things, throwing things, catching things and a bunch of other fun stuff robots shouldn't be allowed to do. I mean, what is this, robot gym class? Next thing you know they're gonna be whipping your ass with a wet towel in the locker room. WHICH IS ONLY FUN WHEN TWO GROWN MEN DO IT. Am I right guys? Love that game.
Thanks to Chris and Aroinak, who once shot a bot in Reno and didn't even stick around. Way to go guys, there could have been more.
Jul 27 2009 Cute: Dog Leash Has Severed Hand To Hold
Seen here with optional belly dancing belt, the Hand Leash from Alice Wang is just that: a leash with a mannequin hand that you hold. Also works great for cats (I'm looking at you, crazy cat lady). Now why nobody thought of this sooner is beyond me. I mean, it just makes sense. That said, I'm still holding out for a foot model. What? DON'T JUDGE ME.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Continue Reading " Cute: Dog Leash Has Severed Hand To Hold "
Jul 24 2009 Man Climbs Building With DIY Vacuum Gloves
This is a video of inventor Jem Stansfield climbing the exterior of a BBC building to show off a pair of vacuum gloves he made out of an old vacuum. Amazingly, he gets to the top, but I question how much assistance he got from the rope holder. Also, if those gloves are that strong and made out of a crappy old vacuum, imagine Dyson-powered vacuum gloves. It would suck the paint off a building! And, God willing, I would eat those paint chips.
Man climbs building with vacuum gloves [bbcnews]
Thanks to Ross, who once made vacuum boots but didn't tie them tight enough and plummeted eight stories.
Jul 24 2009 Handerpants: Underpants For Your Hands
Handerpants are a real product and apparently people are willing to pay $12 for them. Amazing -- even in a recession some people can't get their fill of novelty underwear. Or booze. I'm gonna stick with booze. I CAN HAZ GLUG?
Are you really naked under those gloves? For Pete's sake, put on some Handerpants! These 95% cotton, 5% spandex, fingerless gloves have the look and feel of men's briefs. Slip them on underneath your gloves for extra warmth and protection from chafing! Wear them on their own as a vaguely inappropriate fashion statement! Hundreds of uses! Fits most adult hands.
Yeah, well what if I have child-sized hands? Should I stuff a sock in these too? NOT THAT I'VE EVER DONE THAT (I use an old sweatshirt).
Hit the jump for a fairly painful infomercial for the things.
Jun 24 2009 Interesting: Ray Bradbury Hates The Internets
Ray Bradbury, seen here showing you how to properly do an alien, hates the internet. The author, despite his often futuristic, sci-fi themes, may secretly be a unabomber.
"The Internet is a big distraction," said Ray Bradbury, author of Fahrenheit 451 and The Martian Chronicles, while speaking out in defense of libraries in The New York Times.
"Yahoo called me eight weeks ago," he said. "They wanted to put a book of mine on Yahoo! You know what I told them? 'To hell with you. To hell with you and to hell with the Internet.'"It's distracting," he continued. "It's meaningless; it's not real. It's in the air somewhere."
It's not "in the air somewhere", Ray, it's a series of tubes. One minute of fact-checking on Wikipedia could have told you that. Just sayin'.
Ray Bradbury to Yahoo: "To hell with the Internet!" [scifiwire]
Thanks to Chase and FDSY, who love the internet for all the joy porn it brings to their lives.
May 20 2009 Analog Digital Clock Looks Like Digital Clock, Is Made Of Analog Clocks, I'm All Man
Hell yeah I am too. The Clock Clock tells time using a digital-looking display made up of 24 smaller, analog clocks. It is a pretty neat idea and is best viewed from far away otherwise you might burn your retinas out or go crazy like that guy in that movie that was all like AAAAAAAHH!
Created by Swedish designers Humans Since 1982, the Clock Clock installation features 48 electronically-controlled analog clock hands which automatically rotate into the proper positions to form a giant digital display.
I kind of want it. It reminds me a lot of this clock, which is major badassery. Or Colonel Kickass if you're really digging it.
Hit the jump for a bunch more shots and a video of the clock in action.
Apr 20 2009 Matthew Perry Seeks Medical Attention After Injuring Hands Playing Video Games
Matthew Perry, with nothing to do since Friends went off the air like twenty years ago, has taken to playing video games. Like an addict. Seen here about to take his first hit with Snoop Dogg, Matthew has a serious gaming problem. So serious he had to seek medical attention after damaging his hands.
The actor admits he spends days on end glued to the screen playing war games on his XBox, ruining the muscles and tendons in his hand.
Perry says, "I play a lot of video games a lot of XBox 360. I played Fall Out 3 so often I had to go to a hand doctor. I used my hand too much and had to get injections in it."
Nice try, Mr. Perry, but I suspect the real culprit here is a little thing I like to call chronic masturbation. Been watching a few too many Friends reruns, have we?
Perry's videogame-mangled hand [yahoonews]
Thanks to Edd, who particularly likes the episodes where you can see Rachel's nipples through her shirt (read: all of them).
Mar 28 2009 'David After The Dentist' Shirt From ThinkGeek
Remember David after the dentist? He was cute, wasn't he? He was. That's because drugs make people cute. And sometimes, their faces melt. It's true, one time at a concert I saw a bus turn into an accordion and Dracula fighting a dinosaur by the concession stand. It was super erotic. Anyway, get your own 'I have two fingers' shirt from ThinkGeek for $16-$18, depending on your size. Also, if if anybody knows where I can score some itrous-nay ide-oxay, that would be cool tool. Ha, did I just say cool tool? Yeah, and I meant it.
Thanks to killerabbit, who has four fingers.
Mar 25 2009 Controller Soaps: Now With More Detail!
Well folks, I just got back from the doctor and am happy to announce I don't have inoperable thyroid cancer. However, I am unhappy to announce I came out from the anesthesia with my boxers on backwards. Just saying, I thought the thyroid was in my neck. But what do I know, I'm no doctor. Anyway, this is Etsy seller Digitalsoap's latest in peripheral cleaning products. If you can recall the last controller soaps we featured, they were a solid color. These ones have more detail. An XBox lather will set you back 12 credits, and a NES bar 9. Just don't drop it! Because we all know what happens if you drop the soap, don't we? We do -- you dent a corner and then it'll look stupid. Also, another inmate takes camera phone pictures of your iHole. Pfft, I've seen Oz.
Hit the jump for the NES controller.
Continue Reading " Controller Soaps: Now With More Detail! "
Feb 25 2009 Excessive Gaming Can Cause Skin Sores
That's right folks, too much gaming can give you the stink-palm, according to a recent article in the British Journal of Dermatology. Of course, the disorder (Playstation palmar hidradenitis) may be based entirely on the single case of a 12-year old girl.
Doctors who examined her at the Geneva University Hospital concluded she had a condition known as 'idiopathic eccrine hidradenitis', a skin disorder that generally causes red, sore lumps on the palms of the hands and soles of the feet.
The doctors suspect that the problem was caused by tight and continuous grasping of the console's hand-grips, and repeated pushing of the buttons, alongside sweating caused by the tension of the game.
The unsightly lumps went away after 10 days of gaming abstinence. Now listen folks: if reddened palms are the only negative effect of your excessive gaming, be thankful. After all, you've still got your social life, right? Right?
Game consoles 'cause skin sores' [bbcnews]
Thanks to Shelley, Becky, JMR and Tank, who have no fear of developing Playstation palmar hidradenitis because they only play XBox.
Feb 5 2009 Baby Born With 12 Developed Fingers, Toes
Kamani Hubbard was recently born with 12 fully developed (and functional) fingers and toes. I'm jealous -- I was born with a nubbin next to my left pinky and they cut it off at birth. But the nipple on my back is still there. Nice one, doc.
"It's merely an interesting and beautiful variation rather than a worrisome thing," said Dr. Michael Treece and St. Luke's Hospital Pediatrician. "I would be tempted to leave those fingers in place. I realize children would tease each other over the slightest things, and having extra digits on each hand is more than slight. But imagine what sort of a pianist a 12-fingered person would be. Imagine what sort of a flamenco guitarist. If nothing else, think of their typing skills."
"I just want him to see what greatness will be in store for him," said the baby's proud father.
Greatness, huh -- like being an illustrious blogger? I AM TEH L337 P4WNR OF INTERWEBZ!
A couple more pictures of the mad digits after the jump.
Continue Reading " Baby Born With 12 Developed Fingers, Toes "
Nov 20 2008 Must Read: Man Caught Red Handed And Hairy Palmed With Bottle Of Pasta Sauce
Hell no this doesn't have anything to do with gadgets or gizmos, but it is awesome. In a "boy, I'm really glad I'm not that guy" kind of way. Long story short: a man pleasuring himself with a jar of pasta sauce led cops on a low speed chase in Australia. Long story long:
A man caught near Nobbys (!!) Beach with his penis in a pasta sauce jar led police on a 20 km/h car chase, Newcastle Local Court heard yesterday.
Police drew their weapons when they suspected Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, was armed. Instead, they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar, a police statement said.The chase lasted five to 10 minutes, with a top speed of just 20 km/h, before Weatherley was stopped at Centenary Drive, Newcastle. He refused to leave the car.
Four officers used batons and capsicum spray to remove him.
They found a 750-millilitre jar around his penis and noted that Weatherley attempted to continue "pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling".
A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.
Wow, continuing to pleasure yourself while wrestling with the cops. That's....well that's just ballsy (ZING!). And I don't even want to discuss the contents of his car. But what I do want to discuss is what kind of pasta jar he was using. And also, was there still sauce in it? Traditional tomato-based or alfredo? Did he add pesto? I bet he added pesto.
Man caught with penis in pasta jar [theherald]
Thanks to Matt, who insists hot sauce bottles are where it's at. Thanks buddy, my penis just spontaneously combusted.
Nov 20 2008 Feel Just Like Wolverine, Minus The Cool
The Tomahawk Skull Gauntlet costs $40 and surprisingly doesn't have any customer reviews yet. Although I just wrote one. Unfortunately, it looks like it might be moderated first. Booo. UPDATE: Review is now up on the product page.
With this gauntlet strapped to your arm there is no question you are the man in charge! The three piercing spikes stretch 11 1/2" long and are constructed from solid stainless steel. The palm cover is cast metal construction with unique details down to each "bone". With an overall length of 17", this monstrous handspike will not only protect your grip but will send your foes running in the other direction.
Sweet, now you can pretend to be Wolverine. PEW PEW! What do you mean Wolverine doesn't go PEW? I mean, he has a laser blaster doesn't he? He doesn't? Well who am I thinking of then? Oh, right, me. PEW PEW bitches!
Thanks to Richthegringo, who promised me a back scratch as soon as they arrive.
Sep 16 2008 Hands-Free Cellphoning Without Bluetooth
This hands-free cellphone holder was designed by Francesca Lanzavecchia and doubles as an excuse to park in handicapped spots. It comes complete with a stretchable rubber skin that fits over it so you can store your phone and cigarettes in there when not in use. Seems pretty freaking impractical. Still, it reminds me of the first time I faked an injury to get some sympathy. You ever tried to cast your own penis before? It isn't easy. I ended up just tying an athletic sock around it and calling it a sling. And you know what? Not a single 'Get Well' card.
Hit the jump for the original model.
Continue Reading " Hands-Free Cellphoning Without Bluetooth "
