Oct 27 2008 Oh God, No. No, No, No: Robot Determines Humans Taste Like Bacon, Are Delicious

MORE: apeshit , apocalypse , bacon , bad , can i at least have one dinosaur before i go? , cannibals , damnit , damnit when will people stop programming robots to kill us , eating , eating your brain , food , great , ham , happy , human body , humans , meat , robots , run for your life! , sausage , shitsteak , the opposite of good , uh-oh , wonderful , wrong , zombies

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Great. NEC's Tasting Robot, the diminutive bastard originally designed to assess wines, has now assessed humans -- and determined they'd taste delicious.

It's all pretty straightforward tech: stick a bit of nosh in front of the robogourmet's infrared spectrometer and it analyzes the reflected light to determine the chemical composition of the sample. A nice trick, although it can only be programmed to accurately identify a few dozen wines.


Innocent enough, you may think. However, when NEC demonstrated the cybersommelier to a reporter and snapper from Associated Press, the robot claimed the former's hand tasted of prosciutto ham, while the latter apparently had the unmistakable whiff of bacon about him.

Great, so it looks like we might end up fighting the robot and zombie apocalypses simultaneously. Wow, could today get any better? Not unless I get hit by a delivery truck. Oh shit -- or see a boob.

Humans taste of bacon, says gourmet robot [theregister]

Thanks to Birchie, king of ruining my day.

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Feb 15 2008 Video: The Secret Life Of Cell Phones

MORE: aliens , bad trip , cell phone , CGI , cool , cracker barrel , ham , not good , transformer , tripping , UFO , video

This is a little CGI video of what your cell phone does when you're not around. Who would have thought that shit had aliens in it!? Not me. I mostly posted this video because it made me flashback to something similar that happened to me at a Cracker Barrel. There I was, tripping balls and trying my damndest to focus on the Country Ham Platter before me. But this particularly spry piece of ham kept trying to sneak his ass off the plate! I had to continually scold and stab him to keep him away from the edge. And even though I had my fork and knife on top of him he managed to dive to the floor when I was gone watching my face melt in the bathroom mirror.

UPDATE: Turns out that wasn't really a similar experience.

Unbelievable animation: close encounters of the desktop kind [dvice]

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