Oct 25 2009 Gutsy: This Dead Tauntaun Wedding Cake
Listen, if you can convince your wife that a dead tauntaun would make the perfect wedding cake I WANT YOU TO HOLD ON TO THAT WOMAN. I want you to hold on tighter than you do the dashboard when she's driving (I've seen your knuckles! Also, the way she drives). That said, you think they cut the cake with a lightsaber? I mean, it's only appropriate. Also, a slave Leia jumping out and humming the Star Wars theme. What can I say, I'm a natural wedding planner.
Hit the jump for four more shots, including a cute Stormtrooper couple.
Oct 15 2009 Didn't Need To See That: Hello Kitty Anatomy
Ever wonder what was inside Hello Kitty? Me neither, I just assumed it was hairballs and maybe one of those toy mice. Boy was I wrong -- apparently she has guts. Aaaaaah I just want to lick them!
As part of the Dr. Romanelli x Hello Kitty collaboration we see the release of the "Anatomy" toys. The toy comes in two colorways and features a true Dr. design, revealing the inner organs of the iconic character. The toys have been produced by Medicom Toy.
Wow, so it's a real toy. That's cool. I guess you have to teach your kids about anatomy somehow. And no, NOT BY LETTING THEM SHOWER WITH YOU. Also, I like the Band-Aids on Hello's heart, I thought that was a nice touch. TELL ME WHO HURT YOU, KITTY, I'LL KILL THEM! Also, I'm no vet but you might not what that turd floating so close to your vital organs.
Hit the jump for the other color and a shot of the two models together.
Continue Reading " Didn't Need To See That: Hello Kitty Anatomy "
May 20 2009 Crying Wolf: The Fake Shark Attack Wetsuit
Want to look like a shark attack victim? I know, who doesn't? Well now thanks to a line of wetsuits by Diddo (the same guy that created these designer gas masks), you can. But if shark attack victim isn't for you, what about an anatomical muscle suit? Or wood? Or a rusted pattern? Hit the jump to see all the options. Currently only available in limited editions, the wetsuits will hit full production sometime in the near future. Just don't expect me to fall for the shark attack thing more than once. And speaking of which, have I ever told you about the time I faked drowning so the sexy lifeguard would perform mouth to mouth? His mustache was scratchy.
Hit it for some more worthwhile shots.
Continue Reading " Crying Wolf: The Fake Shark Attack Wetsuit "
Apr 3 2009 Tuantaun Sleeping Bag Becoming Reality?
As you may recall, ThinkGeek cruelly offered a tauntaun sleeping bag as an April Fool's joke, just to break your heart. Well, because of the overwhelming demand for such a product, Thinkgeek has decided to look into actually having them made.
ATTN Tauntaun Fanatics!
Due to an overwhelming tsunami of requests from YOU THE PEOPLE, we have decided to TRY and bring this to life. We have no clue if the suits at Lucasfilms will grant little ThinkGeek a license, nor do we know how much it would ultimately retail for. But if you are interested in ever owning one of these, click the link below and we'll try!
If you go to the product site you can click on the link that says 'Email me IF available' to be notified if they actually get made. But one thing's for sure: if they're getting made, I'm getting laid (in one). Ever made love inside a tauntaun? It's warm. And squishy.
Thanks to roflbot (who I may still kill despite the tip) and Allison, whose tauntauns could easily make to the second marker before freezing.
Apr 2 2009 What's Under The Zipper?: Sackboy Anatomy
This is another anatomical rendering by Jason Freeney of Sackboy's innards. As you can see, there are guts under that zipper. Of course, I already knew that because I got all stabby on him once when he wouldn't give me his wallet. Yeah, and all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't stitch Sackboy together again. So, let that be a lesson to the rest of you.
Jason Freeney's Website
and
The Anatomy Of A Sackboy [kotaku]
Thanks to Julian, who took one for the team and pointed out Sackboy's genitalia was modeled after his own so I wouldn't have to.
Apr 1 2009 Awesome New Products From ThinkGeek
Squeeze Bacon and a Tauntaun sleeping bag, it's about freaking time!
This high-quality sleeping bag looks just like a Tauntaun, complete with saddle, internal intestines and glowing lightsaber zipper pull. Use the lightsaber zipper pull to illustrate how Han Solo saved Luke Skywalker from certain death in the freezing climate of Hoth by slitting open the belly of a dead Tauntaun and placing Luke inside the stinking (but warm) carcass.
Awesome!
Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon! You can put it on sandwiches, pizza, pastas, bacon, soups, pies, eat it hot or cold (warm Squeez Bacon® on toasted rye is to die for), substitute it for bacon in your recipes, or even eat it right out of the tube like we do!
The Tauntaun bag will set you back $40, and a tube of Squeez Bacon® will cost you $8. Unfortunately, they're both fake and you can't buy either one (April Fools!). Still, ThinkGeek is pretty foolish for not actually making these. So who knows, maybe they will (at least the sleeping bag). Because if they don't, I'm going to. I'd just prefer they do it because I'm lazy. I haven't even left the bed today! Seriously, I'm running out of dry spots.
Squeeze Bacon
and
Tauntaun Sleeping Bag
via
ThinkGeek (with several other April Fools products)
Thanks to Chrissy Poopy Pants McBacon Lover, brittany and xring, who would totally scarf some Squeez Bacon® while nestled at the bottom of their Tauntaun sleeping bags while reading comics by flashlight.
