Nov 2 2009 Whittlin': Guns Carved Into Old School Desks
Ben Turnbull is a London-based artist that hates America (USA! USA! USA!) and whittles guns into old wooden school desks. I smell a detention slip!
Ben Turnbull is fascinated by the global dominance of American culture, and his works unsettling effects result from re-presenting the toys of our innocent youth in symbolic forms that reveal the shocking truths about war, death and guns in the world's most powerful country. Turnbull is a passionate critic of the contemporary American political system, and explains why toys are central to his work: 'Force fed on violence, abused by a controlling superpower and blackmailed through patriotism, the public are ultimately as disposable as the toys they once played with'.
Damn Ben, why don't you tell us how you really feel? Over a spot of tea with your queen while I whip your crumpet-munching ass! Jingoism FTW! I'm serious, meet me behind the pub.
Hit the jump for five more.
Continue Reading " Whittlin': Guns Carved Into Old School Desks "
Oct 9 2009 I Can't Even Believe That's Real: Amazing Bullet Impacts At 1,000,000 Frames/Second
A million FPS, is that even possible? Because that's crazy if it is (also, black magical). I'll probably never do anything a million times, let alone in a single second. But regardless, this is a 10:00 video of bullets doing their thing in super slow-motion. There's some pretty sweet glass breaking action at 4:30, some ballistic gel destruction right after, and some absolutely amazing footage of bullets disintegrating against a steel plate starting at 6:20. It's just so....beautiful. I can honestly say I've never wanted to be shot so badly. Anybody here in a gang?!
Thanks to jamal, who has never missed the bullseye or a day of class. Good attendance AND a sharp shooter -- I like your style, jamal.
Sep 24 2009 Pop Art Paintball: Marilyn In A Minute
Sure this might not be as impressive as creating a paintball Mona Lisa in a split-second, but it's still pretty neat (skip to 0:40 for the action). And speaking of neat, it's the only way I drink my bourbon. I don't need your newfangled ice!
Thanks to Rodrigo, who once paintballed his way out of a wet paper bag. But you had scissors in your hands, bro! You could have saved the ammo. You'll never survive the zombie apocalypse!
Sep 17 2009 Zombie Shooting Targets Now Available
Tired of shooting at the same boring silhouettes when you're getting your gun on? Well why not prepare for the imminent zombie apocalypse and get your pew on at the same time with these zombie-themed shooting targets?
Full color Zombie Poster Targets. Designed for fun at the range or for your next league's Zombie Shoot. Features shaded scoring lines in both head & brain that cannot be seen at shooting distances.
Prices start at $1.50 a pop and decrease with quantity ordered. I just bought 1,000 so I could get them for $0.69 AND I DON'T EVEN OWN A GUN! Now lasers, lasers are a different story. You will never take them from me! I'm looking at you, future Amendment XXXII. Cold dead hands, just sayin'. *pew pew!*
Thanks to Patrick, who once beat a paper zombie target to death with a shovel. You know, for principle.
Sep 15 2009 Die, Birds, Diiiiiiiie!: Contra Vs. Duck Hunt
This is a super short video of a Contra commando playing Duck Hunt. And in case you can't watch videos at work, I'll spoil it for you: the ducks lose. But if you want to watch the ducks win, you should watch that youth hockey themed movie starring Emilio Estevez. OMG HE WAS SOOOO HANDSOME!
Thanks to jim, who got the laser rifle and "accidentally" shot that annoying laughing dog.
Aug 18 2009 What Could Go Wrong?: Zombie Themed Bar
Donny Dirk's Zombie Den is a zombie themed bar in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I don't know how I feel about it.
The stunning new interior comes straight out of a 1950s Las Vegas lounge (the classic part). The zombie stuff (i.e. the kitsch) is hilarious, and more nuanced than you'd expect from a bar named Donny Dirk's Zombie Den. In the corner, a small chainsaw sits inside a glass case that reads "In case of zombie attack, break glass." The bartenders all dress like Simon Pegg in "Shaun of the Dead" -- white button-up, red tie and blood stains. The friendly female servers wear long black gowns. Again: This is a classy zombie joint.
First of all, classy and zombie should never appear in the same sentence unless we're talking about an undead Mr. Peanut or Monopoly. And secondly, a zombie bar, not unlike a robot bar, is a bad idea. There's a reason you're not allowed to bring weapons into drinking establishments, you know. A stupid reason. pew pew!
Zombie resurrection [startribune]
Thanks to deadbodyman, whose dinosaur bar I always rent for my private parties.
Feb 26 2009 I Knew It!: Violent Video Games Helps Prepare Children For The Coming Apocalypse
This is an Onion News roundtable discussion on the benefit of children playing violent video games. And as I suspected, violent games do, in fact, prepare the world's youth for the coming apocalypse.
Playing video games all day, alone and friendless, is simply the best way we have to prepare our children for a life of solitude in a barren wasteland.
Finally, somebody speaking some sense. So fret not, parents, buying your children violent video games might just provide them with the know-how they need to survive in the the future. Or, I dunno, bring a gun to school. Either one.
Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse? [theonion]
Thanks to Mister Tiddles, who I think might be a cat.
Feb 24 2009 Not Impressed: The UK's Hottest Halo Fan
Apparently 25-year old Amanda Johnstone from South London was chosen by XBox as the UK's hottest Halo fan. I find it a little hard to believe, but who knows, I'd still Chief it.
At this point, we'd love to tell you (Miss World Style) about her charity work, measurements and star sign, but sadly we can only inform you that aside from walking round her house in a skimpy top and hot pants, Amanda runs her own events management company, hangs about the Halo Club night at The Cross, Kings Cross, London, sings karaoke and walks her pet Chihuahua 'Chiefy'. Come on, at least it's not quite as obvious as calling it Halo. Ok, maybe it is.
Eh, she's okay. I doubt she can actually play Halo though. I would have thought the UK's hottest Halo fan would have been more, you know, caught in a house fire. Did that just get you excited? It did me! It's called pyrophilia folks, and I've got it.
Continue Reading " Not Impressed: The UK's Hottest Halo Fan "
Dec 29 2008 PEW PEW: Cops' New Non-Lethal Weaponry
That thing doesn't even look real. It looks like a gun out of a video game. Or something cardboard Halo kid would make. But no, it's real (nonlethal) weapon.
Pictured above is the PHaSR, the bad-ass "Personnel Halting and Stimulation Response" rifle that's just about ready for deployment. It puts the hurt on you by dazzling you with laser light, while also burning your skin with an infrared laser.
PHaSR, very clever. I would have gone with PEW! though: Personal Eradication Weapon!. But hey, what do I know? I'm only a guy that practically comes up with acronyms for a living. Anyway, there's another weapon coming too, the ADS, or Active Denial System (which should clearly be the Active Incendiary Denial System), capable of shooting a 6-foot wide microwave beam that makes you feel all hot and bothered, but, on the plus side, can cook a frozen burrito like that.
Two fearsome non-lethal weapons on their way to cops' hands [dvice]
Dec 26 2008 Cell Phone Goes PEW PEW PEW PEW
Remember the cell phone gun that Italian police found in a raid on the mafia? Turns out they're mad popular in Europe. And, I've got to tell ya, I'd almost be fooled if it looked like a Blackberry and not a phone from the 90's -- the 1890's (note to self: fact check 19th century cell phone technology). Some guy ranting about the pieces of shit:
Most see airport security as a pain. Some deal better than others. Some feel violated, when you watch this movie, you'll understand why they want your cell phone through the x-ray machine. If you get asked to test your cell phone at the airport, this is the reason. Because cell phone guns have arrived. These phones are not in the U.S. yet, but they are in use overseas. Beneath the digital phone face is a 22 caliber handgun capable of firing four rounds in rapid succession using the standard telephone keypad. European law enforcement officials are stunned by the discovery of these deadly decoys. They say phone guns are changing the rules of engagement in Europe. Be patient if security asks to look at your cell phone or turn it on to show that it works. They have a good reason! Welcome to our NEW WORLD!!
New world? Would that be a brave new world? And, if so, hook me up with some of that soma! Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Now, who wants to hit up the feelies?
Video Demo of Cellphone Gun Shows How Effective It Could Be [gizmodo]
Dec 9 2008 Pentagon PEWing For Guided Bullet Tech
The Pentagon is tossing $22 million at developing guided bullet technology that would enable a bullet to change course midflight because it wasn't shot right first in the first place, the wind changed, or the head you were aiming at moved. *closing blinds* Greeeaaaaat.
Darpa won't say, publicly, how far, how long and how accurate they want the new bullets to be -- all that information is classified. But they will say that Exacto should contain a next-gen scope, a guidance system that provides information to direct the projectile, an "actively controlled .50-caliber projectile that uses this information for real-time directional flight control," and a rifle. "Technologies of interest may include: fin-stabilized projectiles, spin-stabilized projectiles, internal and/or external aero-actuation control methods, projectile guidance technologies, tamper proofing, small stable power supplies, and advanced sighting, optical resolution and clarity technologies."
Hey Darpa, I hate to ruin the party, but guided bullets already exist. They're called missiles. Yeah, they're laser guided and they shoot out of my penis. PEW on this, moneywasters! Oh, just a minute. *PSSH* Oh -- *PSSSSHHH* Aaaahh -- *PSSSSSHOOOOOOOOW!!*
Pentagon Shoots $22 Million Into Guided-Bullet Tech [wired]
Thanks to Erick, who came up with that PEW *WHOOSH* PEW thing, and never misses the urinal.
Dec 4 2008 Terrorist LEGO Minifigs Stir Controversy
I can't say that I'm surprised, but apparently people are taking offense to LEGO minifigs that have been modded (by BrickArms) to resemble terrorists and Nazis.
Mohammed Shaffiq of Muslim organisation The Ramadhan Foundation told The Sun the figures were 'absolutely disgusting'. He said: 'It is glorifying terrorism - the makers should be ashamed. We should be coming together to unite against terrorism but how is that possible when children are playing with toys like this?'
Last night the business's founder Will Chapman said: 'It's not my intention to glorify terrorism or Nazis - but kids love the bad guys. He added: 'I can see why people might get offended but that is not what I'm trying to do. We have sold thousands and thousands of them.'
He later added: 'CHA-CHING!'
When reached for comment, the Geekologie Writer had this to say about the figures: 'Finally, terrorists versus Nazis! PEW PEW.'
Hit the jump for a few more of the offensive minifigs.
Continue Reading " Terrorist LEGO Minifigs Stir Controversy "
Dec 1 2008 Yes Please!: A Sweet Chainsaw Bayonet
So I was out shooting the ol' shotgun the other day, and I thought to myself, "self, could blasting the hell out of this stump get any more awesome?" And the answer, dear reader, is yes, a chainsaw bayonet would have totally made it awesomer. PEW PEW, BRUUUM BRUUUM BR BR BRUUUM!! Oh yeah, that's the stuff. The stuff of boners.
Hit the jump to see a picture of the saw mounted on a shotgun, along with a video of a guy terrorizing pumpkins with the AR-15/saw combo. Fun for all ages!
Nov 26 2008 Italian Police Find Cellphone Gun: Excuse Me, I Need To Answer This....PEW PEW!
Italian police discovered a .22 caliber cellphone gun during a raid on a Camorra (Naples Mafia) compound.
Fully loaded, the gun's capable of firing four shots in quick succession through the antenna using buttons on the keypad as the trigger. Officers also seized bullet proof vests, drugs, ammunition and thousands of pounds in cash.
Screw the gun, thousands of pounds in cash? Are talking pounds the monetary unit or pounds as in I weigh far too many of them? And if it is the latter, tell me they were all ones. Then give me a stack -- Thanksgiving at the strip club!
Mafia 'mobile phone gun' seized [bbcnews]
Thanks to Georgethefirst, who still rocks a pager gun because he's oldschool.
Nov 17 2008 Oooh, Nice Ride: The New Presidential Limo
General Motors, best known for their delicious line of breakfast cereals, has designed an all new presidential limo for when Barack Obama takes power next year. They were going to do it four years ago, but figured, f*** it, let's focus our efforts on going belly-up for awhile. Anyway, the car.
Most of the specs of this car are top secret, but a few tantalizing details are floating around, such as the five-inch-thick windows that are about half as transparent as regular glass and can stop projectiles from assault rifles, rocket-propelled grenades and high explosives. It's also said to be built of a combination of blast-proof ceramics and exotic metals, and certainly won't have a convertible top or sunroof. While GM's trying to make it look like a Cadillac DTS, it's based on the company's line of heavy-duty 2500 trucks.
Top secret specs my ass. I'll tell you all about this thing: It runs on a rocket engine powered by the tar-like blood of terrorists. It can also hover. Comes complete with dinosaur chauffeur who doubles as sexual masseuse should you hit rush-hour traffic. AM/FM radio. Four tires and spare donut in the trunk. Mini-bar. Wicked two-tone paintjob. Left and right turn signals. Bomb proof undercarriage. 7MPG city/13 highway. A real pussy magnet. I'm serious -- the CIA stole my blueprints.
Obama's new presidential limo is built like a tank, looks like a Cadillac [dvice]
Oct 31 2008 Kid Arrested For Convincing (Senile) Grandma To Perform In His Ganster Rap Video
The elderly: they're wrinkly. AND highly desirable to perform in homemade gangster rap videos. Who would have known? Not me. But apparently Michael Alfinez, 18, from Lake Worth, Florida, was in on the secret. The youth is serving 18 months in jail for abusing the elderly and firearms charges.
The footage showed Marie Huertas, 85, wearing a full black balaclava and, after repeated instructions, uttering a number of gangsta rap phrases that included expletives.
A sheriff's report said Alfinez had admitted dressing up his grandmother and persuading her to flash a gun and money at the camera.Alfinez said he got the idea from a Gangstas & Thugs DVD - which show real footage rather younger hoodlums in action - and "knew (his) grandmother could be like that, too, or better".
Wow, that's one cool grandma. Mine just bakes pies and smells funny. Ha, did I mention the cats? There are cats.
US teenager jailed for 'grandmother gangster rap video' [telegraph]
Thanks to ray, whose grandmother can bust a cap better than you can.
Oct 7 2008 Make Your Own Ice Bullets For Killer Cocktails
Can you believe that title? I'm a freaking idiot, true story. But I do like these ice cubes. The Bullet Ice Cube Tray makes ice cube rounds that look like AK-47 bullets and costs $13.25. Unfortunately, you have to add your own gunpowder if you want to fire them. But, as an added bonus, the bullets will melt before the police arrive. The perfect murder? MWAHAHAHAHAHA. No.
Hit the jump for a look at the trays.
Continue Reading " Make Your Own Ice Bullets For Killer Cocktails "
Oct 3 2008 Buns And Guns Is A Real Freaking Restaurant
Buns and Guns is an actual freaking restaurant in Beirut and I would totally eat there.
At the "Buns and Guns" fast food restaurant, deep in Beirut's Hezbollah-dominated southern suburbs, the chefs wear military helmets, the food is wrapped in camouflage paper, and the motto is "a sandwich can kill you."
The glossy camouflaged menus feature burgers with names like "the mortar" and "the 155 mm howitzer," while grilled chicken sandwiches can be a "magnum" or a "rocket-propelled grenade."Lebanon's most common and popular weapon, the AK-47 Klashnikov assault rifle, is a beef steak sandwich served in long baguette-style bread.
Oh man, I love a good beef steak sandwich, I'm gonna have to go try one. I'll get it with extra hot peppers too, really blow my o-ring sky high.
Hit the jump for a ton more pictures of the restaurant.
Continue Reading " Buns And Guns Is A Real Freaking Restaurant "
Aug 19 2008 Now With Movement!: Slow Motion Bullets
Yesterday we had still images of bullet destruction, and today -- video! It's actually a PSA created by a London radio station's "Peace on the Streets" campaign against gun violence. Just watch it. Then argue in the comments section about gun control like you all love to do. I'm not taking sides though because I'm an unbiased reporter, but I will say this: I once brought a knife to a gunfight and accidentally stabbed myself pretty bad.
Thanks to Charlie, who knows that the pen is mightier than the WMD.
Aug 15 2008 Fire Beer, Not Bullets: The Beerdolier
Last week it was the Beer Belt, and now this week, the Beerdolier. Oh hell yes! The $15 Beerdolier holds six cans of sweet beer AND keeps them cold thanks to its unpatented koozie technology. These things are freaking awesome! Can you imagine a world in which a war (World War Brew) is fought with beer instead of bullets? I can, it's called Utopia, and I just drank all the ammo. Oh, time for a munitions dump.
The Beerdolier: Drink Like a Commando [gizmodo]
