Sep 19 2009 Holy: Farmer Grows Buddah Shaped Pears
In this week's "growing things that look like other things" news, a Chinese farmer has learned how to grow Buddah shaped pears. But are they sacrilegious to eat?
Hao Xianzhang, a local famer, spent six years to perfect the process by growing the pears inside moulds, local media reported. The pears cost around 50 yuan (7.32 USD) each.
Pfft, that's nothing. One time I grew an apple that looked like I cut a hole in it and smoked weed out of it. BECAUSE I DID. Who has the green thumb now, bitches?!
Hit the jump for two more shots of the holy fruit.
Aug 24 2009 Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers
In Japan's unending quest to grow edibles shaped like other things comes these heart and star shaped cucumbers.
These cucumbers represent the cumulative efforts of an agricultural coop determined to make food preparation a little bit more exciting. Comprised of nine women in Chiba, a suburb of Tokyo, this grass roots organization cleverly uses plastic molds affixed to the stem of the plant, with which they can create heart and star shapes when the cucumber is sliced cross-wise.
These romantic cucumbers are selling at fancy supermarkets in Tokyo and as specially ordered wedding gifts at ceremonies throughout Japan. They cost 300 yen each (about $2.50).
Nice try, growers, but Lucky Charms has been growing marshmallows in different shapes for years. Anybody ever picked through a whole box to make a bowl of nothing but marshmallows? Well I hope you washed your hands first.
Hit the jump for what the vegetables look like ON A SALAD.
Continue Reading " Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers "
Jun 17 2009 A Magical Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder
The Magic Missile Massage Bra from Pangao is supposed to make you breasts larger through the use of a little sorcerer and massaging "forceful vibration balls". Yes, forceful vibration balls. Plus, it comes standard with a pretty sweet spiderweb pattern. But what else can it do?
- Make breast up.
- Dredge breast glands.
- Eliminate blood stasis.
- Effectively prevent women from breasts diseases and flaccid
- Also can move fat and make a well-shaped figure.
- If use it often, you can have a sound sleep, immunity from disease and better internal secretion.
Pretty convincing, huh? I know, I just bought thirty and my breasts were already huge! I plan on wearing them all one on top of the other for exponential tissue growth. ZZ's, here I come! I may need a bigger wheelbarrow.
Magic Massage Bra Enlarges Breasts [gizmodo]
Thanks to ffffffffff, who is offering free massages if you're concerned about the safety of using forceful vibration balls.
Jun 15 2009 Blocky: Tetris Pots For Growing Grass
These are planters in the form of tetrads. They are equally suited for growing shit or use as cereal bowls. And, because I'm a complete slaya', I've even come up with another use: decoration. Did I just blow your mind? No? THEN WHOSE WAS THAT? Quick -- the lights!
Tetris Goes to Pot [kotaku]
Thanks to Julian, who grows his 'grass' in old milk jugs like a normal person.
May 31 2009 Sweet!: Plant Some Trees, Grow A Chair
The Growing Chair is a clear plastic frame in which you grow trees to form a seat shape so that, in your old age, you can sit around drinking moonshine and reminiscing on the days when you had to use power tools to make a chair (or were Amish). Personally, I love the idea BECAUSE I AM ONE WITH GAIA. And by one with Gaia I mean a nudist. Except I wear jean shorts.
Hit the jump for another picture.
May 30 2009 She Laid An Egg!: A Cute Yoshi Nursery
This is a cute Yoshi nursery made by Flickr user meadblog for his first little bundle of pain joy. And, according to a recent study conducted by yours truly, raising your child in a video game-themed nursery helps the youngster develop better hand eye coordination and ability to pwn others in the future. Isn't that right, little Geekologie Jr.? "pew pew!" Awh, that's my boy!
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to his Flickr gallery, with has a ton of work-in-progress pictures.
May 13 2009 Spam Emails: Now With More Illustration
This is a picture from artist Elliot Burford's series of work entitled 'Spam', which features illustrations created using the titles of spam email, most of which are for wiener growing pills. I posted a bunch more of my favorites after the jump, but there are 24 in total (so far), so take a gander if you like them. I was particularly fond of this one, for obvious reasons -- I like the smell of gasoline. Kidding, BURN IT WITH FIRE!
Hit the jump for more.
Continue Reading " Spam Emails: Now With More Illustration "
May 12 2009 Wuv, Tru Wuv: Heart-Shaped Watermelons
What? I CAN QUOTE The Princess Bride IF I WANT. There's no shame in my game. Or extra lives. Anyway, just in time for not Valentine's Day, Japanese jolly ranchers Kiroichi Kimura and his wife have perfected a way of growing heart-shaped watermelons, which sell for up to $160. It took three years to develop the process, which involves implanting a watermelon seed in a giant's heart and then slaying it and removing the melon afterward. Nice, guys, but I think I still stick to regular-shaped melons. *ahem* I'm looking at you, female Geekologie reader.
Heart-shaped watermelons in Japan [japanprobe]
Thanks to Ashnod, ffffffffffffffffffffff and NESbeast, who are holding out for spleen shaped watermelons.
