Aug 12 2009 I Made It!: Your Geekologie Writer Is 28 Today
Dearest Geekologie Reader,
Against all odds I've survived another year and made it to 28. TWENTY EIGHT! That's like, almost a quarter of a century. So yeah, that's a real picture of me taken a few years ago after I drank my weight in Kool-Aid and went on a sticker binge. Damn I looked good back then. Seriously -- what happened? Anyway, I'm gonna be flying up to New York City today to treat myself to a birthday celebration fit for a Geekologie Writer (read: ice creams). And, because I love you, I already wrote several posts so you lovely folks won't miss me too much while I'm flying. Feel free to fill the comments with birthday wishes or how much you hate me (I'll read them all, so now's your chance to say something), and I'll be back with a full day tomorrow from New York.
Love,
Your Geekologie Writer
P.S. Where's my dinosaur cake. No, really.
Aug 1 2009 You're Doing It Wrong!: Woman Dragging Leashed Child Through A Verizon Store
Melissa Catherine Smith-Means (she is too!), 37, of Gaylesville, Alabama, was arrested for child abuse after dragging her unisex child through a Verizon Wireless store using a kiddy-leash. As punishment, Melissa is going to be leashed and dragged down every aisle of a Best Buy. Just sayin' -- it's Alabama, folks, they do things differently. Like talk and guns. I've lived there, I know.
Woman Drags Child Through Verizon Store [techeblog]
Thanks to trishna87 and gypsyking, who don't drag anything but their feet. Seriously, stop being so lazy you two.
Jun 29 2009 Sadness: Superheroes, The Golden Years
This is a little gallery of superheroes past their prime. They were all drawn by Italian artist Donald Soffritti and made me sadder than hell. You know, because they got me thinking about growing old and shit. Too profound for you? I'm deeper than an ocean trench.
Hit the jump for some of my favorites, then the link for a whole bunch more.
Mar 30 2009 Time-Lapse Video of Mushrooms Growing
This is a highly erotic time-lapse video of some Psilocybe cubensis "gold cap" mushrooms growing. It was created using 1,661 photos over the course of 5 days, 18 hours and 25 minutes. I really liked the zoom-out effect during the video, I thought that was a nice touch. Also, one time I thought I was a superhero and had a slow-motion fight with my friends in their college apartment. That wasn't mushrooms though, that was Robitussin. But seriously kids: drugs are bad, and I'm living proof. Living proof of awesome, RAWR! Whoa -- did you hear that? Sounded like a dinosaur.
Thanks to leftRIGHTleft, who found this video even sexier than I did, which is saying a lot because my pants caught fire.
Mar 17 2009 Soccer Moms Outraged At Grown Up Dora
Apparently Mattel and Nickelodeon rolled out an image of a new "tween" Dora the Explorer last week and a lot of soccer moms are super pissed she's not the chubby little midriff-flashing five year-old she used to be. So Nickelodeon had to fire back.
"I think there was just a misconception in terms of where we were going with this," Gina Sirard, vice president of marketing at Mattel, says. "Pretty much the moms who are petitioning aging Dora up certainly don't understand. ... I think they're going to be pleasantly happy once this is available in October, and once they understand this certainly isn't what they are conjuring up."
"The reason for creating this new Dora line is to offer an alternative to moms who want their daughters to stay little girls, a little longer," the statement concludes. The Tween Dora doll comes with a USB port and is compatible with online story lines.
First of all, who cares. And secondly, Dora's mom, and this is just between you and me -- I think she's taking Fen-Phen.
New Tween "Dora The Explorer" Revealed [ohnotheydidnt] (with some pretty funny comments if you're bored)
Thanks to Duran, who's still pissed his children's show Tucker the Spelunker never took off.
Jan 8 2009 Whee: Watch Walmart Spread Like A Virus!
Walmart: where else can you go drink and have shopping cart races at 3 AM? Ha, besides my underground race track? Nowhere, that's where. Now click here to watch an interactive map of Walmart's virus-like growth from 1964 to 2007. As you can see, the big-box giant has been invading America like a disease for 45 years. Just imagine: if every Walmart store was actually a giant robot. We'd all be dead as shit! Now somebody get Hollywood on the phone -- I smell an Oscar.
Watching the Growth of Walmart Across America [flowingdata]
via
The Andromeda Strain [splicetoday]
Thanks to Andrew, who doesn't know anything about viruses because he's clean. Ladies? Sorry Andrew, I tried.
Dec 13 2008 Apple Apples Sadly Aren't McIntosh
Some Apple fan in Japan, one who owns a Fuji apple orchard, decided to profess his love for Macs in the only way he knows how, by growing fruit with the Apple logo and little pictures of iPods on them. How did he achieve the feat? Simply -- with stickers. You just put a sticker on an apple while it ripens, take it off when picked, and presto -- an iPod apple. What about the stickers makes the images appear? F***ing sorcery! And that, my friends, is scientific.
Hit the jump for a close-up.
Jul 14 2008 Why Not?: Kid Makes N64 Controller Pipe
Ah, it seems like only yesterday I was a college freshman in the dorm puffing on a tinfoil pipe and blowing the smoke through a dryer-sheet filled 20oz bottle. Good times. Which could have been better if I had a wicked N64 pipe at the time. But I didn't. What I did have was a dorm custodian that would occasionally drop off a rubber glove stuffed with a NASCAR lighter and partially smoked pipe for me to finish off. I'd give anything to be 18 again.
N64 Controller Bong Combines the Two Reasons Your College GPA Sucked [gizmodo]
Thanks Alex, send me a picture after you make an X-Hotbox 360 and I'll post it.
