Oct 12 2009 Sad: Donkey Kong Reduced To Selling Soda

Seen here unsuccessfully threatening a blurry old man with the 1-2 punch that used to make Mario shit his pants and cry, Donkey Kong, the once fearful gorilla, has been reduced to hocking root beer at local grocery stores. It's a sad day. Also, those arms look a little precarious. I'm definitely gonna stand under one and have a friend push a bunch of cases onto my head. Then, provided I don't get all brain damaged, sue the grocery store. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?! Cleanup in aisle six.

Donkey Kong Soda Display [pixelatedgeek]

Thanks to Jessica, who once laughed so hard she shot root beer out her nose when a friend was telling a joke. It stung. Like a bee, but different.

Sep 19 2009 Religious Persecution!: Jedi Tossed Out Of Supermarket For Refusing To Remove Hood

Co-founder of the International Church of Jediism, Master Morda Hehol (Daniel Jones, seen above, left), was kicked out of a North Wales supermarket after refusing to remove his super-sweet Jedi hood. He is considering legal action (I would have just Force-choked the assistant manager).

"I told them it was a requirement of my religion but they just sniggered and ordered me to leave. I walked past a Muslim lady in a veil. Surely the same rules should apply to everyone. It was discrimination. I was really upset. Nobody should be treated like that. I'll advise worshippers to boycott Tesco if it happens again. They will feel the Force."

The jedi holocron handbook clearly states that "Jedis must wear a hood up in any public place of a large audience."

A Tesco spokeswoman said:

"Jedi are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all went hoodless without going to the Dark Side. If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they'll miss lots of special offers."

Really? You're gonna miss out on special offers? THAT'S the justification you're gonna use for not allowing patrons to wear hoods? Oh, this just in: Tesco security beats the shit out of a blind man.

Jedi tossed out of supermarket for wearing hood [inquisitr]

Thanks to em. MONSTER and Alexis, who only wear their Jedi hoods in the bedroom. YOW YOW!

Jul 1 2009 Every Kid's Dream: Shopping Buggy Racecart

Let's face it, we've all had the idea, but these folks actually followed through and did it. Not some halfassed job either, they actually made this thing legit (videos after jump). Oh man -- if only they had these on Supermarket Sweep...imagine the carnage!

Hit it for two videos showing off the impressiveness.

Continue Reading " Every Kid's Dream: Shopping Buggy Racecart "

Apr 18 2009 Why Not: Pac-Man Jackassery In Real Life

This is a video of some real life Pac-Man action. The video was created by Remi Gaillard (of real-life Mario Kart fame), who I assume is France's Jackass. Although I did like like the part where he tried to eat the woman's golf ball. Through a garden hose! Which, at least according to the wall above the urinal, your girlfriend. You lucky dog!

Youtube

Thanks to Jack and c devine, who once ate all four ghosts while they were blue and still saved room for more dots.

Oct 24 2008 OLD!: Grocery Store Wars

This is an older video but I'd never seen it, so I assume there are some of you out there that haven't either. It's Star Wars made in a grocery store with produce and other edibles, with a "buy organic and free range products" undertone. Well, not so much an undertone. More of an overtone. Oh, and rumor has it that it's fake, been shopped (the shadows are all wrong), and is actually a deleted scene from the summer blockbuster Never Back Down. *puts gun in mouth*

Youtube

Thanks to Nava, who likes the way asparagus makes his pee smell.

Dec 17 2007 Canned Air - For Huffers And Other Deviates

I love huffing model airplane glue as much as the next guy, but this product is ridiculous. Big Ox is canned oxygen that comes in flavors like Citrus Blast, Mountain Mint, Polar Rush, and Tropical Breeze. Each 3.5 gram can of "power oxygen" costs $9.99 and will guarantee you a seat in the principal's office if you bring it to school. I remember when oxygen bars were all the rage, and I never thought they were cool. And neither is someone hunched over on the bus with a bottle of Big Ox in their face. What is cool you ask? Doing whipits at the grocery store with the whip cream cans. Fun, free, and classy.

Canned Air - Not Just For Spaceballs Anymore [ohgizmo]